I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two.
I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
This post originally ran on October 13, 2014. Since some of us are still over seventy, repeating might make sense.
Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Over Seventy Years of Age
10 If you are over seventy, make sure the foreign object you think is in your food is really there. If you don’t, at best, the store manager will give you your money back but will give you that “old person” roll of the eyes. At worst, the object turns out to be your glasses that fell off while you were looking closely to find out what it was. This will be discovered by the customer service person surrounded by twenty other diners.
9 If you are over seventy, do not think you can ride a bicycle at top speed, wipe out, and bounce like you did when you were fifty. If you do, at best, you will have a nice reminder as you soak in a hot bathtub and eat aspirin-like M&Ms. At worst, you will be among the lucky few spending several hours in the ER surrounded by one hundred really sick and injured people who all got there ahead of you.
8 If you are over seventy, do not try to leave the house without your glasses. If you do, at best, you won’t be able to read the credit card terminal at the checkout counter and sign whatever is there, and it matches what you bought. At worst, you will be clueless when the bank teller asks you to sign the withdrawal slip made out for you, and four days later, you read in the local newspaper that the teller is spending three weeks in Aruba.
7 If you are over seventy, do not decide the surfing competition looks winnable since there is only one entrant in the seventy and above bracket. If you do, at best, you will have nothing more catastrophic than looking like a fool. At worst, you will wipe out and ground yourself on the beach, where the medal committee will erect a monument in your honor.
6 If you are over seventy, do not think your dance routine is still in. If you do, at best, the rest of the crowd will be laughing behind your back. At worst, your routine will take up so much room and bump so many people the bouncer will remove you for your own protection
5 If you are above seventy, do not go anywhere near a Karaoke machine. If you do, at best, you will get a short, slow song you can handle poorly. At worst, you will pull a rap number and scare yourself with the words that scroll across the screen, reminding you that being scared is unsuitable for your pacemaker performance.
4 If you are over seventy, do not drive in the left lane ever. If you do, at best, you will wonder what all those hand signals mean in the context of driving. At worst, you will have a monster truck come so close to your rear bumper that you will be forced to look in the rearview mirror only to swerve into some hapless seventy-year-old next to you.
3 If you are over seventy, do not raise your arms above your head if you are wearing short sleeves; if you do, at best, you won’t notice the extra movement of skin and will think the wind is picking up. At worst, you will cause enough stares to stop traffic with those undulating biceps that seem to have fallen to the underside of your arm.
2 If you are over seventy, do not go to a restaurant any time earlier than 7:00. If you do, at best, you will get the early bird menu and won’t really find green Jell-O to your liking. At worst, a youthful server will insist that you genuinely enjoy the breaded fish sticks instead of the sizeable juicy steak you intended. “Besides,” she says. “It is much easier to chew.”
1 If you are over Seventy, do not try to tell stories about how great it was in the old days. If you do, At best, you will finish your stories to yourself. At worst, you will notice people running away as you come close, and it won’t be because you have worn the same clothes for five days. (well, maybe)
Today, we will look at the winter configuration of the trees in the neighborhood. (yeah, it’s a slow activity day here) We can see things that are usually not in view in the summer. We are catered by Ramin Del Barrio of Austin. Our entertainment is The Bangles.
(All Ramen Bowls come with onion, lime and cilantro)
CARNITAS TONKOTSU – Shoyu tare, pork bone broth, mixed carnitas, grilled pepper, and onions.** Best for first-time guests!
CoChinita Tonkotsu – Shoyu tare, cochinita pibil, pickled onions, avocado, tortilla strips. Best for first-time guests!
Menudo Tonkotsu – Guajillo tare, honeycomb tripe, hominy, arbol chilis, tortilla strips. Pa la cruda!
Mole Tsukemen – Mole negro, karaage, Tortilla strips. Dip the noodles. Don ́t dump the broth over the noodles pendejo.
Contains peanuts
Chilaquiles-men – Dry Ramen. Thick noodles tossed in a tomatillo/yuzu-kosho
So let’s go.
Our first view is a close-up of the berries on a juniper.
Red berries on the pyracantha.
A squirrel’s nest in a deciduous tree.
Lots of mistletoe in the trees.
Some more red berries on Hawthorne bushes.
Red leaves on a Bradford pear.
Another mistletoe example.
A pair of trimmed junipers. (Sometimes called cedars here in Texas)
A live oak that keeps its leaves until spring.
Further away look at the juniper berries.
This is a patch of Bluebonnets growing wild. They will bloom in the spring.
A good example of ball moss in the tree.
China berry tree with yellow berries.
Another squirrel nest.
Nandina Bamboo with red berries.
Well, that is the tour. Sit back, have some food, and enjoy the music. I hope you have a great week.
A fresh cup of coffee from Her Majesty The Coffee Queen and the day can begin. It is refreshing to have a close-up and personal relationship with such royalty. After a couple of sips, thoughts turn to the clock. Opening the cabinet door and reaching for the clock means we will be taking a trip. Time to close up the doors and get to it. The clock is set to January 13, 1923. The location is Washington, D.C., and the time is two hours.
No sooner than the plunger is pulled, and we are there. The first stop is Warren Harding’s cabinet meeting, which has been happening for some time. The subject under discussion is whether or not the Post Master of the Grand Canyon is allowed to keep his dog. It seems there is a law against doing so, but the Post Master has appealed to keep him there. The decision reached is to let the President decide. With that, the cabinet meeting is adjourned.
Moving to the House of Representatives, we arrive just in time to hear Representative Upshaw of Georgia, who is attempting to make Washington dry, present evidence to Acting Prohibition Commissioner Jones in which he charged that there was an “official House bootlegger” who had a monopoly in plying his trade in the House office building. Just as the bootlegger is to be named, the alarm goes off, and the living room couch is the landing zone. It looks like 100 years haven’t changed a thing in Washington. My text tone says Linda Hill has sent me one. Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 13th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “close up/close-up.” Use the verbal phrase “close up” and/or the noun/adjective “close-up” somewhere in your post, or write a post in the spirit of the phrase. Have fun!
A team of ichthyologists (zoologists who study fishes) in Türkiye (Turkey) has rediscovered a “legend” in the form of a carp-like, spotted fish called the leopard barbel (Luciobarbus subquincunciatus) in the Turkish section of the Tigris River.
The leopard barbel was once abundant, ranging from Eastern Türkiye, Eastern Syria, Iran, and Iraq in the Tigris-Euphrates river system. Over the last three decades, however, fishing, pollution, habitat destruction, and dam construction have pushed the species to the edge of extinction and was last scientifically documented in 2011.
However, anecdotal evidence from local fishers suggested that the fish may have still been out there, so Associate Professor Cüneyt Kaya and Assistant Professor Münevver Oral at Recep Tayyip Erdogan University enlisted their help to find one.
“There is nothing quite like the feeling of finding that a species that has been pushed to the brink of extinction is still hanging on, despite the odds,” said Kaya upon their success. “It is even more thrilling than discovering a new species because it means that we can give a rare species a second chance.
The team started by looking at the scientific literature about where the species had been previously found. However, those data were collected before nine dams were built in the Turkish portion of the Tigris River.
The dams alter water flow regimes, and cold water accumulating at the reservoirs’ bottom is sometimes released downstream. The release of cold water drives many freshwater fish toward warmer waters, so the team had to adjust its strategy to look further downstream from the dams.
Just days after the second of two expeditions, Kaya and Oral got a video call from local fisherman Mehmet Ülkü. He had caught a 20-inch (50 centimeter), 4.4-pound (2-kilogram) fish with conspicuous black spots and the telltale fleshy filament that dangles from the mouths of this type of freshwater fish.
Ülkü kept the fish alive overnight in a tank with a constant oxygen supply. At the same time, Kaya took a direct flight to the region and then drove nearly six hours to Cizre in the far southeastern reaches of Turkish Kurdistan, where the species was found, while Oral drove more than 11 hours through the night to see the fish and confirm its identity.
By the time they arrived, Ülkü had caught a second leopard barbel safely in his nets, and they were able to help him release the first one as well.
Leopard Barbel after it was released (Photo by Metin Yoksu)
“We dropped everything and would have gone to the ends of the Earth to see this fish, this legend, alive in the wild,” Oral said. “I have never seen a fish as beautiful as this. It was the realization not only of our dream to find this lost species but of the hope that not all is lost—we still have a chance to protect the leopard barbel and all of the other incredible freshwater species it shares its home with.”
After Kaya and Oral took photos and measured the size and shape of the two fish, they were joined by the local Cizre fisheries aquaculture department to release the fish safely, which they described as a joyous event.
“We all have a role to play in protecting our incredible natural heritage, and I am proud to have used my skills to help rediscover the leopard barbel,” Ülkü, the fisherman, said. “Safeguarding this species into the future will require educating other fishers and bringing scientific knowledge and local expertise together.”
Kaya and Oral plan to conduct a series of seminars for fishers and teachers to help build pride in their riverways and wildlife, using the rediscovery as a case study to protect the Tigris River and its rich biodiversity. They are also hoping to better understand how many leopard barbel might still exist and where they are still found across their historic range.
The expedition to confirm the leopard barbel still exists was co-funded by Re:wild, the world leaders rediscovering and protecting lost species. The fish is the second on Re:wild and SHOAL’s Most Wanted Lost Fishes list to be rediscovered. The first, the Batman River loach, was found by the same intrepid team in Southeastern Türkiye in late 2021.
The good news in this situation is that in spite of human negligence, a species fights hard and survives. Today’s JohnKu talks about the ability of animals to survive. I hope you have a beautiful weekend.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
The inspiration for this list is a jam-packed three weeks of American football playoffs. (Notice, Dale, I called out the distinction.) You may not be a fan, but if you are, here is a friendly list of things not to do.
Top Ten Things Not to Do During the NFL Conference Championships
10 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not talk smack about your team’s opponent. If you do, at best, your team will move on to the Super Bowl. At worst, you may be served a big dish of cold crow by all who heard your talk. (You were sure your team would win, huh, Bunky. Now you have a full year of black poultry eating.)
9 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not plan anything important on that Sunday. If you do, at best, you’ll disappoint others. At worst, you will miss the game. (It just so happened your team lost by one point as the opponents went for the extra two points with two seconds to play. Way to let them down, Tex.)
8 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not think you can run to the store for basic food and beverage items. If you do, at best, you’ll get there and back before the first game. At worst, you’ll join one hundred of your fellow fans in a frenzy at halftime, fighting over the last bag of Cheetos. (Don’t be afraid. Tiny, the WWF champ, is asking you nicely to let go of that six-pack. He only gets mad if you ignore his growl, Merle.)
7 During the NFL Conference Championships, don’t try to grill dinner without a TV close at hand. If you do, at best, you’ll miss key plays watching that steak. At worst, you planned to time the steak for halftime but now have something resembling blackened cedar plank. (You totally forgot about the meat, right, Buford?)
6 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not accept an invitation to a house where you have no idea of the media capabilities of the host. If you do, at best, you will try to watch the game on inferior equipment. At worst, your host was not aware of the playoffs, and besides, he and his family have taken a no-TV pledge. (The only set in the garage is a black and white rabbit-eared portable that sparks when you turn it on, Bruce..)
5 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not try to entertain your in-laws during the game. If you do, at best, you will have a difficult time handling both assignments. At worst, your in-laws will no longer be interested in the game and will ask if they can watch the movie Heidi instead. (Well, Ferd. You did try, and now you must turn to Heidi on this TV and go to your room.)
4 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not answer your phone. If you do, at best, it will be your talkative sister who doesn’t have a clue about football. At worst, it will be your boss who has no life and has decided to call a strategy meeting that should go on until midnight. (You could have said you were sorry on Monday, Pud.)
3 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not allow anyone you don’t know in your house. If you do, at best, you will be interrupted to play host to them. At worst, just your luck, the couple from your spouse’s work wants to share with you the idea that they think football is a metaphor for the male-dominated society and they believe it should be banned. (If you knew these people, you could tell them to have a big cup of shut the f*#k up, huh, Pilgrim?)
2 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not try anything funny or different with your TV. If you do, at best, you will only trip the circuit breaker. At worst, you will mess up enough to take out the city grid. (The news says the power will be back on around midnight, Buster. You can watch the game on your iPad, provided the battery holds. If not, there is always the Today Show recap. Way after Al Roker and the weather.)
1 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not overserve yourself even if things are not going well for your team. If you do, at best, the end of the evening may come too early. At worst, getting carried away with the game ended with a toss of your remote aimed for the referee which passed through the big screen on its one-thousand-mile trip. (Until then, it was an exciting game, huh, Dip?)
Today, we will tour the neighborhood and check out the holiday decorations that are still up but shouldn’t be. Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas today, which is a good reason to keep the decorations displayed. It is also okay to keep decorations up for as long as someone wants, but they should be in good condition and look like they are being done on purpose, not just forgotten. We are only going to see the decorations that have been neglected, not the ones left on purpose. We are catered by Salty Sow of Austin. Our entertainment is Roy Orbison.
Menu
CRISP CHICKEN THIGHS
fried smashed potatoes, neck bone gravy
CANDIED PORK BELLY
collard greens, pot liquor, soy balsamic syrup
RANGER CATTLE WAGYU CHEESEBURGER
caramelized onions, gruyere cheese, pickles, Salty Sow special sauce, duck fat fries
– add béarnaise to fries +1
Today’s treat is a steaming cappuccino made right here in the kitchen. The whole milk is steamed, and the shot of espresso is delivered, and here it is. A couple of shakes of cinnamon and a sip of the foamy goodness turns my mind to the clock.
In a discussion with Resa McConaghy, she mentioned that returning to July 27th, 1940, might be interesting. Looking up the date, it is when Bugs Bunny made his first appearance. I asked Resa why we should visit that date, and she said, “Just do it.” So the clock is set for the date, and the time is set for 7:00 PM. We will stay a couple of hours. The cappuccino is drained, and we are off.
™Warner Brothers
So we arrive at the movie theater in West Orange, New Jersey. The crowd has just started to go into the theater. It now occurs to me why the CEO of Warner Brothers gifted the clock. It was so we could go back and enjoy the Bugs Bunny debut. Let’s all relax and enjoy Bugs’ big moment. Thanks to Resa for the idea.
The alarm goes off as the lights come up, and I’m sitting on the couch with an empty cup. A text comes in from Linda Hill. It reads. Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 6th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “Just do it.” Use the phrase “just do it” somewhere in your post, or write a post in the spirit of the phrase. Enjoy!
If you want to see what others do with the prompt, visit Linda’s post
