I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two.
I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.
In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
This list was published on November 6, 2017. Folks still live in apartments, so I think it is relevant.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do in an Apartment
The inspiration for this list came as we spent some hurricane evacuation time in an apartment. I hope you enjoy it.
10 If you are in an apartment, do not drop your weights like the bozos at the gym. If you do, at best, the manager will visit. At worst, that last set of one hundred pounds ended with the repair bill for your floor and the ceiling below you. (That drop was pretty expensive, huh, Christopher. Luckily, there was no one in the recliner down there.)
9 If you are in an apartment, do not think your wailing guitar is appreciated by everyone at two in the morning. If you do, at best, the police will only warn you. At worst, you’ll get a visit from Tiny, the WWF champ who was just released from the sleep disorder clinic, and this was the first night he actually fell asleep. (Notice how that locked door came off the hinges, Cameron? I’d like you to meet Tiny, the big guy that looks like a freight train, and he’s headed your way.)
8 If you are in an apartment, do not rent the bottom floor unit. If you do, at best, you may get used to the noise above. At worst, you’ll finally crack and go door-pounding in the middle of the night. (Those people have every right to be afraid, Connor. It might have been a good idea to check in the mirror before doing your Shining, “Daddy’s Home” imitation.)
7 If you are in an apartment, do not cook your favorite boiled cabbage recipe except on St. Patrick’s Day. If you do, at best, your neighbors will wish for your death. At worst, the super will call in the exterminator, believing your apartment is the scene of many pests. (Be careful opening that door, Cody. That cloud left by the bug bomb explosion might take you out as well.)
6 If you live in an apartment, do not forget to lock your door. If you do, at best, no one will notice. At worst, you’ll come home to a place that looks like you never lived there. (You have to wonder how a thief could take four rooms of furniture with no one noticing, don’t you, Carter?)
5 If you live in an apartment, do not throw a party unless you invite the neighbors on either side as well as above and below. If you do, at best, you might be annoyed by all the floor and ceiling pounding. At worst, you better hope everyone at the party is legal because the SWAT team coming up the stairs will want to check. (You had no idea the Jackson Twins were under twenty-one, did you, Chris. Well, it’s not going to matter that they weren’t known or invited by you and no one else either.)
4 If you live in an apartment, do not think the barbecue grill will be available when you want to use it. If you do, at best, you’ll have to wait your turn. At worst, your choice will come down to eating at midnight or a pan-fried steak. (What is it about that Teflon flavor in a great cut of meat that adds so much to the elegance of the meal, Charlie.)
3 If you live in an apartment, do not think everyone follows the shower before entering the pool rule. If you do, at best, you might be surprised by the ring. At worst, you may be caught unaware of the unofficial rule, which is, “Do not put your head under water.” (Had a bunch of unexplained sore throats lately, huh, Calvin?)
2 If you live in an apartment, do not ignore the trash pickup rules. If you do, at best, you will only have to be taught once. At worst, the pickup service will no longer stop at your door, and trying to put your trash next door will earn you a potential black eye. (That guy sure got mad when he stepped on your paper bag full of garbage, didn’t he, Cory? How is that eye, by the way?)
1 If you live in an apartment, do not pick up and shake other people’s packages that are outside their door. If you do, at best, you’ll never get caught. At worst, you just shook a package as the recipient’s door opened. (The bad part was it was a gift of six Baccarat champagne flutes, which are now dust, Clark. I don’t think saying, “Oh, I think this is yours, my mistake,” is going to cover this one up.)
Today, we are visiting the Travis County Emergency Services display. The purpose of the collection is to educate residents of the county on the services available. We are catered by Lynny’s of Austin. Our entertainment is The Ohio Players. It is a cloudy day, but the rain has stopped. We are early to the event, so most visitors have yet to arrive.
Menu
Sausage Biscuit – ham or veggie sausage sub available on request
Dana’s Biscuit – dark chocolate, toasted pecan, brown sugar
Toaster Pancakes – seasonal flavors, served with butter and syrup
Melon salad -melon, lemon vinaigrette, toasted pecan, pickled golden raisin
Deli Breakfast- everything biscuit, swiss cheese, sliced tomato, fried egg, and a Pickle Envy pickle spear
Grilled Cheese – sourdough, Colby jack, swiss
Ham Slam- ham & swiss melt on griddled sourdough, with housemade chipotles and a fried egg
Let’s get going
Pedernales district fire truck and a little boy.
Lake rescue unit.
Search and rescue team.
A fire safety simulator to learn what to do in case of fire.
A significant disaster EMS multi-patient vehicle.
Fire rescue.
Bucket crane for rescuing kitties and Dan Antion. (Just kidding. The buckets are used for emergency electrical repair.)
Good ole Lakeway police.
Car accident simulator for turnovers and water.
Special craft area for the kids. They will be building wooded boats.
Jump house.
Ice cream.
Bar B Que.
The bookmobile.
Music while we learn.
I hope you enjoyed the tour, and now it’s time for food and entertainment. I hope you have a great week.
The coffee saved me. Had a bad dream about an alarm clock that could be used to time travel. Wait! That was no dream. That clock is sitting on the table over there. Crossing the room to further inspect the devil’s own instrument, the thought about where to go next comes to mind. Charles Yallowitz thinks it should be set for 0:00. Then the dawn of creation could be experienced. I’m not sure the Big Bang and all that would be my cup of tea. Being around as nature and God mete out what is needed to get this Earth rolling would be pretty frightening.
How about advancing to the day when the Super Mega Millions Lotto number is drawn and then going back a day to buy that ticket? Yeah, that would meet many financial dreams. But what’s the use of dreaming if all of them were wiped out using one very strange instrument.
No, more thinking needs to go into this endeavor. Maybe witnessing the signing of the Declaration of Independence would be good. How about answering the question of when men first cooked meat or staged the first tailgate party? Maybe it wasn’t men at all. The mind races with the possibilities. Setting the clock back on the table reminds me I have a voicemail on my phone. The transcription of it is Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “meat/meet/mete.” Use one or use ’em all for bonus points. Have fun!
This month’s night sky will feature two extraordinary celestial phenomena appearing in the sky together under a very small moon—leaving nearly nothing to dampen their splendor.
The Pleiades is one of the most regal star clusters visible from Earth with the naked eye and a source of endless fascination among our ancient ancestors.
The Pleiades has many names: the Seven Sisters, Messier 45, or Mul Mul in ancient Mesopotamia, where it was found inlaid of gold on the Nebra Sun Disk from 1,600 BCE.
It is arguably the most famous deep-space object, located about 440 light-years away in the constellation Taurus and consisting of thousands of stars, though 7 stand out in particular.
Around midnight on November 18th, the Pleiades will be in a great spot for viewing—overhead towards the equator. Depending on the light pollution in your area, you won’t need a pair of binoculars, but with them, the Seven Sisters are truly stunning to behold.
It’s also on that night that Earth will pass the peak of the Leonid Meteor Shower, named for the constellation Leo. Leo will be lounging in the northeastern sky for most people, according to Valerie at Space Tourism Guide, and if you can spot the Big Dipper/Plough, you’re in the right part of the sky to spot some shooting stars.
There should be around 15 per hour—a good clip for what should be a pretty cold night. Ideal for this situation, the moon will be only 6 days old.
In other stargazing news.
On the night of November 12th, the Taurid Meteor Stream will peak at around 10 meteors per hour under the complete darkness of a New Moon—optimal time for some star photography.
On November 27th, a full “Frost” or “Beaver” moon will reach opposition at 4:16 a.m. US Eastern Time. The Anishinaabe People of the Northern US/Canada called this “Little Spirit Moon” and was recognized as a time of healing.
The good news here is in times of stress, natural occurrences in nature continue to amaze and delight us. This week’s JohnKu talks about nature’s ability to survive. I hope you have a terrific weekend.
In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I should explain. You see, Mr. Babcock lives alone. Every year around Halloween, he dresses up like the Hamburgler and puts on a show.”
“What kind of show?”
“Ah. This is where your bottle of wine comes in.”
“I was hoping we’d get there.”
“He selects five bottles of wine from our cellar.”
“That’s a lot to drink.”
“No, he doesn’t drink them all. He has one for himself and then four for the legs of a chair.”
“Legs of a chair?”
“Yes. He balances each leg of a chair on one of the four bottles till all are resting on the wine.”
“Then he sits in the chair and drinks the fifth bottle.”
“No. He then stacks chairs on top of each other with himself on the uppermost chair.”
“Is he nuts?”
“Only a little. Mostly he is very balanced, and people love the performance.”
“So, back to my bottle.”
“Yes, it is one of the bottles holding up a chair.”
“You don’t have another?”
“It was the last.”
“So I wait until the act is over?”
“It won’t be long.”
“How do you know?”
“He’s putting the fifth chair in place now.”
“And.”
“Every year, he crashes while installing the fifth chai—Oops, there he goes.”
“What happened?”
“He was caught by a guy with a cigar. I’ll be right back.”
“Where you going?”
“To get your wine. He won’t be needing it anymore.”
This post ran on October 30, 2017. Since Halloween is almost here, I think it is still good advice.
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The inspiration for this list was seeing a guy out in public in a Halloween costume. It struck me that he was unaware of the stares and reactions of those around him. Hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to Do in Your Halloween Costume
10 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go into the bank to make a withdrawal. If you do, at best, some will only stare. At worst, the teller will not look at your withdrawal slip but assume you are holding up the bank. (That zombie makeup had her rattled, Donald. Too bad the SWAT team had no sense of humor.)
9 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not think you have the same powers as the superhero you are dressed to be. If you do, at best, you’ll hurt yourself. At worst, you will think you can take on Tiny, the WWF champ who is in step two of his anger management treatment. (Looks like that cape is not going to save you, Dorian. I would just go limp, and maybe Tiny will think you are dead.)
8 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go shopping at the grocery store. If you do, at best, you will have the aisles to yourself. At worst, the store manager will insist that you leave since most of his employees have locked themselves in the lounge and refused to come out. (It could be that the hatchet embedded in your skull looks too real, Dex.)
7 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go through the fast food drive-through. If you do, at best, you may be wearing a chocolate milkshake. At worst, the panicked employee will call 911 and drop your food outside the window. (The police are understanding, but you still have no food, Dante.)
6 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not think you can attend the Saturday night church service. If you do, at best, you’ll have a pew all to yourself. At worst, the minister will continually point in your direction when he comes to the phrase “Devil worship.” ( You didn’t realize Halloween is not a big thing in your church, huh, Dacey?)
5 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not keep your doctor’s appointment. If you do, at best, you will empty the waiting room. At worst, your doctor will assume you have had a massive mental breakdown and will call the county home for a pickup. (The clown makeup and white straight jacket is quite a look, Dagwood.)
4 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not drive on the freeway. If you do, at best, you’ll get some weird looks. At worst, you will shock the fragile person in the vehicle next to you, and they will turn into your car as a defensive move. (The cop insists it’s your fault for scaring the wimp next to you, Dalbert.)
3 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go next door to borrow a cup of sugar. If you do, at best, you won’t get the sugar. At worst, your NRA member next-door neighbor will not recognize you and will only quit shooting when you dive into your house. (What would have happened if your neighbor was a good shot, Damek?)
2 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not exceed the speed limit. If you do, at best, you’ll get home without incident. At worst, you’ll be pulled over and, after all is said and done, lying on the street with your hands cuffed behind your back. (Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to dress as Pretty Boy Floyd after all. Although you must admit that Tommy Gun sure looked real, Dareau.)
1 If you are in your Halloween costume, do not go through the TSA security screen at the airport. If you do, at best, you will be denied boarding. At worst, the private search that turned up the sword, flintlock pistols, and the grog will be enough to charge you with terrorism. (The pirate idea sounded good at home, Dartagnan. In the airport? Not so much.)
Today, we are attending the witch’s ride in Lakeway. This is an annual celebration of Halloween and includes events as well as an opportunity for the community to dress up and ride in a parade. There are a ton of things to see. There will be food at the event so we will eat there. Our entertainment is Frank Sinatra.
Let’s go.
Here’s the banner.
Happy Halloween to everyone.
Gouls.
Witches and pumpkins.
Games for everyone, including first responders.
A juggler.
Face painting.
Balloon animals.
Dress up and take a photo.
Day of the Dead reminder.
Parks and Recreation.
Lady stilt walker.
Big screen.
Monster band.
Participants in the ride.
Dragon bike.
Spectators.
Decorated cart.
Another cart.
And another.
Participants.
On the menu – Tamales.
Ice Cream.
Kettle corn.
Sno cones.
Subs, Salad, pizza.
We all love the bookmobile.
That is about it. So relax, wander around, eat, and enjoy the music. I hope you have a super week.
