Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day.

 

 

a snoopy

Wednesday Story day again. Well, we are just getting to know our two characters in the little drama. Some of the comments received have expressed sympathy for Charlotte and some dismay that Bob is out there somewhere. I have to agree with all the comments. Last time Charlotte had just about given up getting Bob to type his manuscript. She decided to read it, and the first line that opened the book was “It was a dark and stormy night.” She also was vaguely familiar with the title “My Struggle.” So let’s join the pair in Charlotte’s office.

“I find this opening line to be somewhat laughable.”

“You do? Why?”

“Have you ever read the cartoon Peanuts?”

“No. Is it about the circus?”

“No, it is a satirical look at life in general.”

“Nope. Sorry.”

“That’s okay. There is a character named Snoopy who wants to be a writer and his book starts with the line “It’s a dark and stormy night.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“No, the author of the strip was making fun of authors.”

“I don’t think it is so funny to steal my line.”

‘I don’t think he stole your line since the story has been in the papers for a number of years.”

“So then how did he get my line? I only wrote it last year.”

“I think there could be a good argument that you stole his line.”

“Can’t be I ‘ve never heard of this fellow Snoopy.”

“Okay let’s look at the title then.”

“My Struggle. Great right?”

“So what does it mean?”

“I think it is pretty self-explanatory. It describes what is in the book. I detail all the problems that I have overcome to become a famous author.”

“Give me an example.”

“Well, you just saw one. More than this Snoopy character have stolen my words.”

“Um. Like who?”

“A guy named Hemingway took a story about a fish I caught and wrote about it without my permission.”

“Oh, my gosh. Could you excuse me for a moment? I need to make a phone call.”

“Sure I’ll wait outside.”

“Close the door, please. Thanks.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

 

a gutenberg press

 

Wednesday Story Day again. This post is the second week of the new story involving Charlotte and Bob. As you will recall Charlotte agreed to mentor Bob because he was the child of a college roommate. Bob wants to become a world-famous author and has some peculiar habits that might pose a challenge to Charlotte. When we left them last week, Charlotte suggested Bob should get his manuscript typed up, and he told her he didn’t want to have it typed. Let’s return to see how she handles this predicament.

“Why don’t you want to have it typed up Bob?”

“Well, like I said my hand has been in the creation of the work and typing is a reduction of that work to black and white. There is no teardrop stain, squiggle in the handwriting to show emotion. None of that character comes through.”

“Hmm I think I understand what you are saying but let me ask you a question.”

“Okay shoot.”

“Why did Gutenberg invent the printing press?”

“So that books could be printed.”

“And why is that important?”

“Well, I suppose handwritten books might take a long time to reproduce.”

“And what is wrong with that problem?”

“Not many books would be available to read.”

“So you see your handwritten book  would give you only one copy.”

“I’m not saying the book shouldn’t be in print.”

“What are you saying then?”

“The publisher should love me enough to read the written word and then convert it to a printed book.”

“Bob. Are you sure you are from this planet?”

“I guess you don’t agree.”

“Let’s forget this discussion and get into the story. Let’s see the title is My Struggles. Where have I heard that before? Okay, you start off the first chapter with the line ‘It’s a dark and stormy night.’”

“Yeah, isn’t it great?”

“Oh, my gosh.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Last week was the conclusion of the Frank and Billy saga. Although it looked bad for the duo, there was a last-minute trick a la Bob Newhart finale where I pulled a dream sequence to save the boys from certain destruction. Maybe some day we will see Frank and Billy again but this week we have a brand new cast of characters. The first character is named Bob, and he wants to be a published writer. The second character is Bob’s mentor named (you guessed it) Jane. The reason the names are a little like a primary reader is so we don’t all get lost  in the dialog and can concentrate on the story. Okay, okay, I’ll change the mentors name to Charlotte. There everybody happy? So the opening scene has Bob in Charlotte’s office, and this is their first session together. I give you Bob and Charlotte. Hope you enjoy.

button 3

 

“So what is the first thing I need to do to get published Charlotte er I can call you Charlotte right?”

“Yes, Bob Charlotte is fine. You have finished your manuscript?”

“Yes, I have it’s right here.”

“Let me look at it.”

“Sure here. Watch out it’s pretty heavy.”

“Did you print this from your computer?”

“Not exactly. I wrote it by hand.”

“You’re kidding me. Let me see this. Oh my gosh, this is all in cursive writing.”

“Yeah, I don’t feel comfortable working with a computer on my books.”

“Why not for heaven’s sake?”

“I don’t think the true value of the work comes through. You know the pain, the angst, the struggle.”

“You don’t think working with a computer would ease a little of that for you?”

“Yes, but then how will a publisher know of my journey.”

“A publisher doesn’t give a crap about your journey. They want to be able to read the work and evaluate whether or not it is commercially viable.”

“I have a problem with that word.”

“Which word?”

“Commercially. I am an artist, after all.”

“And you want to be published.”.

“Yes, of course.”

“I agreed to mentor you only because your mother and I were roommates in college. I have to tell you I’m not sure you are ready.”

“Aw don’t say that. What do I need to do?”

“Besides get this manuscript typed?”

“I don’t want to have it typed.”

“Oh, my gosh.”

Wednesday Story Day – Frank and Billy Finale – AKA Hump Day

Wednesday Story day again. Last week we left Frank and Ms. Sutter about to give up and walk out together to face the police. Frank changed his mind and decided to stay behind and politely asked Ms. Sutter to go ahead without him. We need to join up with them for the finale of this little opera.

a hand gun

 

“Frank. Please be careful. I will go out and tell the police you are coming out okay?”

“Yes, you do that Ms. Sutter. Tell them I’m right behind you.”

“But you aren’t going to do that are you Frank?”

“No, Ms. Sutter I’m not.’

“Tell me why Frank.”

“This won’t mean much to a beautiful, successful person like yourself but I am tired of failing everything I try.”

“Frank you can learn to do something useful.”

“Sure like pastor or something.”

“You can be anything you want to be.’

“I respect what you are trying to do but you need to leave now.”

“Oh, Frank I hate to see you throw away your life like this.”

“Don’t worry Constance it has been thrown away for a long time. Go now.”

“You called me Constance.”

“Shows I’m not really professional, after all.”

“Frank─.”

“Constance get out of here.”

“Who’s Constance Frank?”

“W-What? Billy where are we?”

“You fell asleep while we were waiting here in my car in front of the bank.”

“Asleep? How long?”

“I don’t know maybe ten minutes. It’s about time though. We should be going inside.”

“T-To hold up the bank. You mean we haven’t done the job yet?”

“Frank what’s the matter with you? You planned the whole thing. You even gave me some bullets for my gun. We just got here. Like I told you about ten minutes ago.”

“For god’s sake Billy let me think.”

“We should get going. No use us sitting here wasting any more time. I’m all rearing and ready to go.”

“We should think a little more about going in there. I-I think it might be a mistake.”

“You chicken Frank?”

“Shut up Billy. Let’s go.”

End

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

a surrender images

 

Wednesday Story day is here and last week we left our trio in a bit of a fix. Billy was taken into custody while he was letting the hostages go free. Ms. Sutter has recommended that Frank lay down his gun and walk out to face the police with her. Frank, of course, thinks this is a sign that Ms. Sutter likes him. Although I’m reluctant to see what happens, I guess we should join the pair as they contemplate walking out of the bank.

“Aw Ms. Sutter. Telling me to shut up hurts my feelings.”

“I’m sorry Frank but you have to believe it is not a matter of me liking you. It is a question that if you don’t go out there the cops are going to storm this place, and you and I will both get hurt.”

“You think they would risk hurting you?”

“I’m sure of it Frank. They won’t want to, but they will have no choice.”

“I never thought you would be in danger. I wouldn’t want that to happen.”

“I know Frank. So if you put your gun down we can put our hands in the air, and the police will see we can’t harm them.”

“You wouldn’t harm them in the first place.”

“They don’t know that Frank. With both of us in plain sight, there will be no doubt.”

“I guess you are right. I sure don’t want to go to prison though.”

“It won’t be so bad. You didn’t hurt anyone and didn’t make off with any money. They’ll take that into consideration.”

“They will? Will you say anything at a trial?”

“I will be a witness and I will indeed tell the truth. You are a nice guy who makes bad choices.”

“I guess that is a valid statement. I’m sorry if you were frightened any time.”

“It’s okay Frank. You ready?”

“You’ve been real nice to me. I appreciate it Ms. Sutter.”

“Constance. You can call me Constance.”

“Aw I couldn’t do that Ms. Sutter. It would be less professional somehow. You go ahead. I’ll be right behind you.”

“No Frank we go together. Now put down that gun and let’s go.”

“With all due respect Ms. Sutter you are the hostage and I am the bank robber with a weapon and I’m telling you to get out. Now.”

“Frank don’t do this.”

“Shut up Ms. Sutter.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

a bank robber

 

Wednesday story day again. Last week Frank had decided to release some of the hostages in hopes the police will give him a car to make a getaway. Frank told Ms. Sutter she would not be released since she was the only one who could figure out how to handle the situation. Ms. Sutter was understandably upset that Frank would still be thinking she was going to help him. That is where we left it so let’s return.

“Ms. Sutter. Don’t you see what a pickle I’m in here?”

“Sure Frank I see the pickle as you call it you are in.”

“So if I let the hostages go let me ask again do you think the police will meet my demands?”

“They did say they would talk if you released the hostages.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Will they meet my demands?”

“Sure Frank. That’s what you want to hear isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that’s what I want to hear but is it the truth?”

“How should I know? I’m not the police.”

“No need to yell Ms. Sutter I’m just trying to weigh the odds is all. Okay, Billy tell all of them to go out the back. Ms. Sutter come with me to the window.”

“This has been done before Frank.”

“I’m going to show you to the cops. HEY COPPERS. I STILL HAVE ONE HOSTAGE SEE? SO GET ME A CAR AND NO ONE GETS HURT.”

“Okay, Frank they get the idea. You can let go.”

“Oh sorry. I guess I was holding your arm a little too tight.”

“So what’s next?”

“We wait. Hey, Billy you let ’em all go? Billy? Answer me. Where are you?”

WE HAVE YOUR ACCOMPLICE AND WILL GIVE YOU TWO MINUTES TO PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON AND COME OUT

“How did that happen? Damn Billy is dumber than a stump.”

“I guess I could have warned you about the possibility of Billy getting nabbed.”

“Well, thanks for not helping. I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble.”

“Frank I think it’s over. Why not put down the gun and let’s walk out together.”

“You mean it? You would face those cops with me?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Does this mean anything?”

“Like what Frank?”

“Well, like you think I’m okay.”

“Shut up Frank.”

 

Wednesday Story Day -AKA Hump Day

a cop

 

Wednesday story day again. Last week we left Frank, Billy and Ms. Sutter in the bank. Frank had finally put a gun to Ms. Sutter’s head in the hope of getting a car. The police had just told Frank there would be no negotiation as long as the hostages were being held and that if he released the hostages talk was possible. It looks like our characters are going to need a miracle. Let’s rejoin the trio.

“Do you think the police will talk to us if we release the hostages?”

“Frank. Listen to yourself. If you release these, people, they will arrest you in a heartbeat.”

“Ms. Sutter I respect your opinion but why would they lie?”

“To capture you. Duh.”

“I would listen to her Frank.”

“You would listen to anyone. That’s why you are in this mess.”

“What do you mean?”

“You listened to me Billy and now you are in deep yogurt.”

“Gee Frank. You know how to hurt a guy.”

“Shut up Billy.”

“Billy, pay no attention to him. So what are you going to do Frank?”

“I’m going to release some of the hostages.”

“Oh nice. Well, it has been real. See ya.”

“Not you Ms. Sutter. You are the only one that can figure this out.”

“Frank for the last time. I’m the victim here. I’m not supposed to figure anything out for you.”

“Ha Frank. Now you know how I feel.”

“Shut up Billy. Go over there and let those people go. We’ll see what happens then.”

“Yes Frank. Okay, all you people are going out the back door. Now go.”

“Nicely done Billy.”

“Nicely done Billy. Ms Sutter you are a natural leader.”

“Shut up Frank.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA-Hump Day

 

Wednesday story day has turned into an old-time serial featuring Frank, Billy and now Ms. Sutter. Last week the three were working on how to intimidate the police into meeting Frank’s demands.  Frank thought it would be a good idea to let Ms. Sutter handle the rough stuff with the police since we now know he is too soft to carry out threatening them. As he was caught up in the action, he missed the point that he is the robber and having Ms. Sutter do his dirty work was not going to happen. By now we are getting the idea that Frank is either unbalanced or on drugs. We left the three with Ms. Sutter making a tongue in cheek request of Billy for a gun to shoot herself.

“Ms. Sutter, I can’t let you do that.”

“Billy, it was just an expression. I don’t intend to kill myself. If you would loan me the gun maybe I’ll shoot Frank.”

“Alright Ms. Sutter that’s enough of that kind of talk, Billy don’t give her the gun.”

“I wouldn’t do that Frank. I like both of you too much.”

“Hey, Billy boy leave me out of this.”

“Aw Ms. Sutter you just hurt my feelings.”

“ATTENTION, YOU IN THE BANK. YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD OR WE ARE COMING IN.”

“I don’t know Frank. They sound pretty severe and Billy, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just I’m not a part of this and don’t want the both of you thinking I am.”

“Billy, just forget it. Ms. Sutter, come to the window. I need to make a statement to those guys out there.”

“Okay Frank. Here I am what are you going to do?”

“Please excuse me for putting this gun to your head but I’ve got to make it realistic.”

“I understand Frank. Do what you have to do.”

“HEY, YOU LOUSY COPPERS OUT THERE. SEE THIS? I HAVE HOSTAGES IN HERE AND IF I DON’T GET A CAR IN TEN MINUTES I’M GONNA START SHOOTING THEM. I WILL START WITH THIS PERSON. NOW BACK OFF.”

“Whew that was a very convincing performance Frank.”

“Thank you, Ms. Sutter. I didn’t know I had it in me.”

“Where did you get that ‘lousy copper’ comment?”

“An old gangster movie. I think it was with George Raft.”

“I liked it too Frank.”

“Thanks, Billy.”

“The academy award for an outstanding performance in a bank hold up goes to Frank.”

“Nice, Billy.”

“YOU IN THE BANK. WE WILL NOT NEGOTIATE AS LONG AS YOU ARE THREATENING INNOCENT PEOPLE. LET THE HOSTAGES GO AND WE WILL TALK.”

“Gee Frank, maybe the award was given too quickly.”

“Shut up Billy.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

 

Wednesday is story day again (So soon? Shut up) and as always represents a marker for mid-week. I hope yours is going well. Last week we were still in the bank with Billy, Frank and Ms. Sutter. Ms. Sutter objected to having her name connected with a note that Frank wanted to toss to the police. After some discussion, it was decided that Frank would rewrite the note. He also was accusing Ms. Sutter of trying to take over. So here is where we should join the trio.

“So were you joking when you said I should take over?”

“Not joking really. I was being sarcastic since you are quite used to getting your own way.”

“Hey Frank. Maybe she should take over.”

“Billy how many times do I have to say, ‘shut up Billy.’”

“Not too many but she is pretty smart.”

“Shut up Billy.”

“So miss smarty pants. What would you do if you were the leader here?”

“I sure wouldn’t mess around with a stupid note.”

“No. Then what would you do?”

“I would grab me by the hair, drag me over to the window and then start shouting obscenities and threaten to kill me if the cops don’t co-operate. A stupid note says you are a rational human being who can be negotiated out of this place. They need to understand you are a ravenous, wild dog who will stop at nothing including your own death to get what you want.”

“Um Ms. Sutter?”

“What?”

“I’m not like that. First of all I don’t want to die and second of all I’m not a dog.”

“So tell me who really cares. You want the cops to believe it. It doesn’t matter what you are or aren’t.”

“I’ll tell you one thing.’

“What one thing?”

“If you were in charge I’ll bet you would get away with it.”

“Damn right I would.”

“So you want to give it a try.”

“Give what a try?”

“Try grabbing me by the hair, dragging me over to that window. Then shouting obscenities telling the cops you’ll kill me if you don’t get what you want.”

“Frank you do know that I’m not the bank robber here Right?”

“Yeah, I know. I just think you would be better at the intimidation of the police part. We could trade back roles once I got what I wanted.”

“Billy?”

“Yes Ms. Sutter.”

“Can I borrow your gun or will you please just shoot me?”

 

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

 

 

Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Frank, Billy and Ms. Sutter the bank manager having some dialog about how to communicate to the police the fact they are desperate bank robbers who held hostages. Ms. Sutter was not comfortable yelling out the window so it was decided to write a note to throw at the police. Billy finally found some paper and so we can join these characters now.

“Okay, here’s what I have written.” Attention police. We have hostages and we are not afraid to shoot them if our demands are not met. We want a car and safe passage. Once away, we will release Ms. Sutter. If there are any tricks we’ll shoot her. We mean it. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s fine Frank.”

“Thanks, Billy. Ms. Sutter?”

“I’m not sure I want my name in a note like that. It implies I’m part of your crowd.”

“No, it doesn’t. It says we will shoot you not that you are our friend.”

“Can we say hostage for Ms. Sutter. I just don’t want the negative press after this is all over. I can just see the papers with this note.”

“How are the papers going to get the note?”

“You have got to be kidding. You think you are going to get away with this?”

“Yes, of course. I don’t think they will allow us to shoot you or anyone else.”

“Well, if you don’t mind I still would like you to change that to hostage.’

“Okay, okay. There it is. Now hostage, not Ms. Sutter.”

“Let me see. You just crossed out my name and wrote hostage above it.’

“Yeah, so what?”

“Now not only is my name involved, it is part of a very messy note. Look at that. It looks horrible.”

“She has a point Frank.”

“Shut up Billy.”

“Alright I’ll write it over.”

“And your handwriting is awful. Did you ever take penmanship in school?”

“Okay, Ms. Sutter you write it.”

“Gladly. Billy get me another piece of paper.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“I love how you take over. Here why not take the gun too.”

“You joking?”

“It’s called facetiousness.”

“I don’t want to touch that dirty thing.”

“Figures.”