Wednesday story day again. Last week we left Bob worried about someone stealing his work. Charlotte asked him to trust her, but it became plain that Bob did not believe her since she was working for his mother. Let’s go back to see what Charlotte has to say about this latest revelation (Should have called this series The Guiding Light of Writing)

“Bob. I am shocked you would think because your mother hired me I would not have your best interests at heart.”

“I’m sure you have a heart, but I always follow the money.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whoever is paying the tab can order the kind of pizza.”

“Huh?”

“Okay, lousy metaphor. I mean that when you are taking money from a person you owe that person a certain amount of loyalty.”

“Bob this is absurd. Your mother has paid me to see you get published. What the hell is wrong with that?”

“I don’t see how taking my mother’s money doesn’t make you beholden to her.”

“I am not beholden to anyone. She pays me to do what is best for you.”

“She doesn’t ask you for special favors?”

“Like what?”

“Like just getting me published no matter what.”

“She did say that and I told her I wouldn’t do it.”

“Wouldn’t get me published?”

“No, you idiot. I said I wouldn’t do anything that would make you a laughingstock of the writing world. I’m beginning to think I’m not the right person to continue this project.”

“Wait why do you say that kind of thing?”

“Oh, my gosh Bob. You are the most frustrating person. You have done nothing but bust my chops since we started and I’m tired.”

“Gee Charlotte. I didn’t realize I was such a pain.”

“Look at yourself Bob. You come in with some handwritten piece of crap. Then you say you have some writing in your head which you don’t want to be stolen. You accuse me of being on the take with your mother. Argggg, Why go on.”

“Charlotte?”

“What.”

“You okay?”

“Who cares?”

“I do. I didn’t mean to be such a shit.”

“Ah, good word Bob. Might even be your middle name.”

“Can we start over?”

“Over? What do you mean.”

“Hi I’m Bob and I want to be a writer.”

“You kill me, Bob. Yes, Bob, my name is Charlotte, and I can teach you to be a writer.”

“Hi, Charlotte.”

“Oh, my gosh.”

Wednesday story day again. Last week we left Charlotte and Bob as Charlotte got the news that Bob has a real book he wrote on a word processor. The only problem that caused Charlotte some concern was Bob has not written the first chapter. Charlotte went out for a glass of water and it now back. Let’s go back as well.

“Charlotte how was the water?”

“Just what I needed Bob. Now, what’s this about you not having written the first chapter of your book.”

“It’s easy really. I started the book at the second chapter.”

“I’m confused. How do you know it is the second chapter? Why can’t it be the first?”

“Oh, Miss Charlotte. Don’t you think the author knows if the second chapter is the second and not the first?”

“Well, I suppose─.”

“In fact there is no one more qualified to know a first chapter from a second than the person writing the book.”

“Okay, Bob. I’ll give it to you. Let’s just start with the second chapter.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why not?”

“You won’t understand what is going on without the first chapter.”

“Okay, let’s take a breath for a minute. Again I have to wonder why you didn’t write the first chapter first.”

“It was an experiment.”

“An experiment?”

“Yes. Everyone starts their book with the first chapter. I just wanted to see if I could complete the book without it.”

“So you have.”

“Yup and now it’s time to write the first chapter.”

“Dear God. How long will that take?”

“Not long. In fact, I’ve done it in my head.”

“Your head?”

“Let me write it down for you. Here this is the first chapter. Read it aloud.”

“Chapter one. He stepped off the ledge and could see the end was near.”

“Cool huh?”

“Oh, my gosh.”