Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Mardi-Gras Celebration in New Orleans in 1827

February 24, 2020February 23, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

Mardi-Gras

This week marks the 193rd anniversary of the first Mardi-Gras celebration in New Orleans. This event just cries out for a visit. Of course, there are some precautions needed, so take this list and try to stay out of trouble.

10 If you are there, do not stand in the french quarter, expecting a big celebration. If you do, at best you’ll miss some crowds. At worst, you will lose the party. (You see, Ken, St Charles street was where the celebration started with a bunch of college students who were trying to duplicate the fun they had in Paris the year before. It looks like you may have to come back next year. Then again, since you are a time traveler, you can pick any year.)

9 If you are there, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ for some doubloons. If you do at best he won’t hear you. At worst, since Tiny missed his last three obsessive-compulsive paranoia group help sessions, he will not be sharing his doubloons today. (In fact, Kamal you have now caused him to believe you will try to steal his stuff. Don’t worry about the landing after that helicopter spin. Tiny usually tosses his opponents into the crowd. Most of them are pretty soft. The crowd, not the toss)

8 If you are there, do not take off your shirt, expecting someone to toss you something. If you do, at best no one will see you. At worst, your lack of a shirt will have been noted by the sheriff. (Looks like you are being written up, Kiley. Not for your public display, which one would expect but for the fact that you frightened several of the horses. How bout you put that shirt back on, okay?)

7 If you are there, do not go into a pub and order a Hurricane to drink. If you do, at best you won’t be understood. At worst, the barkeep will think you are making weather jokes and toss you out. (That’s because the Hurricane was invented at Pat O’Brians bar during World War II when whiskey was in short supply and rum plentiful. It looks like your landing on the street was less than dignified, Kameron. Don’t touch anything until you get a shower.)

6 If you are there, do not ask when the parade will begin. If you do, at best, people will not know what you are talking about. At worst, they will think you have been overserved and call the police. (You are a little early for parades, Kevan. The first did not happen until 1857 when the Krewe of Comus began the idea. (No matter how you try, Kristopher, you are not going to convince that policeman that you haven’t been drinking. Maybe they will name a parade after that wacky guy who kept asking where the parade was being held. Or perhaps not.)

5 If you are there, do not shout at people to throw you beads. If you do, at best you’ll get some strange looks. At worst, people will wonder if you have lost your mind. (The problem is, Kenton the idea of tossing beads from a float came about in the 1880s when a guy dressed as Santa started the tradition. Here come some guys with a costume they want you to try on. Yeah, they don’t call it a straight jacket for nothing.)

4 If you are there, do not tease the constable’s horse. If you do, at best, you’ll have your foot stepped on. At worst, the constable will take offense since he considers his horse a part of the family. (Also, Kofi you are courting a bonk on the head since the constable got a new billy club for his birthday, and he has been itching to try it out.)

3 If you are there, do not ask the Beignets vendor if he has one that is jelly-filled. If you do, at best he just arrived from France and can’t speak English. At worst, you have asked the president of the Keep the Beignet Free from the New World Contamination Society. (It is now time to put those running shoes to the test, Kristoff. That guy has a big knife, and I think he intends to do you harm. He had vowed to murder the next person who denigrated his precious Beignets, and the last one just left.)

2 If you are there, do not let a kid bet you that he can tell you where and when you got your shoes. If you do, at best you only lost a ha’penny. At worst, you were so sure he couldn’t, you bet him all your cash. (You now know, Kiernan that the kid told you you got your shoes on Bourbon Street right now. I guess you have no choice but to pay up. Besides those four big looking guys seem to be with the kid.)

1 If you are there, do not add Tobasco sauce to your gumbo until you taste it. If you do, at best you’re from Texas and can stand the heat. At worst, you will need a gallon of water and three days to recover your voice. (Running around screaming about the flames in your mouth will get you little sympathy, Keiren. You will be labeled a tourist from that time on, and people will avoid you at all costs.)

Celebrating #Maine2020 through Poetry with Author John W. Howell

February 23, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 11 Comments

I am with Bette Stevens today in celebration of her beloved Maine’s 200th birthday. Bette is a wonderful poet and person. You should check out her site.

Bette A. Stevens, Maine Author

More Maine—Arts & Culture

Maine officially celebrates its Bicentennial (200th birthday as an independent US state) on March 15, 2020.
The Pine Tree State (Maine’s official nickname)—provides a sanctuary for arts and culture—check out these famous Maine people (Arts & Literature) at Maine.gov.
Maine has been inspiring artists and art lovers for more than two centuries and continues to provide a cultural haven for residents and visitors alike. You’ll find a treasure chest of museums and galleries spattered throughout the state. Be sure to check out these “10 Must-See Maine Art Museums.”
Maine is known as Vacationland. From pristine wilderness to pine forest mountain ranges to crystal clear waterways and majestic shorelines, Maine is a perfect place to spend your vacation.

I’m delighted that John W. Howell stopped by to help celebrate Maine’s Bicentennial with a fine piece of Maine art that inspired his My Maine haiku…

View original post 521 more words

Views of the Neighborhood – Chinese Brush Painting

February 23, 2020February 23, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

The ancient art of Chinese Brush Painting was present in the Lakeway Activity Center this weekend. On Saturday and today, a class was and is being held on Chinese Brush Art. Unlike traditional western-style painting, Chinese Brush Painting is meant to capture the spirit of the subject rather than its photographic reality. The ink and paper cannot be retouched once the stroke is made, so many exciting results can be achieved.

Chinese Brush Painting

An example of a finished piece.

Chinese Brush Painting

The class is spending time interpreting Three Friends of winter. The Three Friends are pine, plum, and bamboo, which survive in the winter months. Pictured are classmates on the left, and the instructor is on the right.

Chinese Brush Art

The Three Friends of Winter represent Strength, Adversity, and Longevity. The artist is working on her interpretation of plum.

The entire class is working on Plum one brushstroke at a time.

This artist is well along with her interpretation of plum.

The ink and brush are united on a palette.

One-on-one guidance is provided and welcome praise for the result.

Contemplation of the next line.

A gentle hand of encouragement.

The brushes used for Chinese Brush Art.

The instructor was born under the Water sign of the Dragon. Her Chop (Used to sign her work) depicts a dragon coming out of the water along with her name character.

Color has been added.

Adding gentle strokes of color to complete the piece.

The class will be working on bamboo today. I want to thank them for allowing me to witness their progress with Chinese Brush Art.

Also, thank you all for joining me on this art tour today. Have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Animal Sounds”

February 22, 2020February 21, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and this week’s prompt will need some explanation by the Prompt Master, Linda Hill. Here is what she posted on the dungeon door, “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “animal sounds.” Write about the sounds animals make and how you experience them. Have fun!”

“Meow.”

“Okay, I give.”

“Woof.”

“Please tell me you aren’t having a stroke. Instead, tell me you are heeding the call of the Linda Hill prompt instead.”

“Growl.”

“Please get up off the floor and tell me what’s going on.”

“Snarl.”

“Now you are causing me concern. Before I call animal control, tell me what you are doing.”

“Okay. We are supposed to write about the sounds animals make and how we experience them.”

“So, your experience is making the sounds?”

“Great guess. See you should join in the fun.”

“As the last thing I do on Earth, you mean?”

“Aw come on. You might like it.”

“I think a root canal might be more pleasurable.”

” Go ahead, make an animal sound.”

“You’re pushing me.”

“Have some fun.”

“Toot.”

“You are kidding, right? What sound was that?”

“A baby elephant.”

“Oh my. Why did you pick a baby elephant?”

“To give you fair warning.”

“Of what?”

*BARRRATTTTT

“It’s irratated mama.”

“Very funny.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

February 21, 2020February 20, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

“Hey, Lucy. It’s Friday. Want to play?”
“Calamari?”
“Yup.”
“Toss the squid.”
“I don’t have an opposable thumb.”
“Run it over then.”

Another week rolls along. Eight more hours, and we can all jump into a giant container of our favorite coping substance.

This has been a pretty quiet week. I have pretty much tended to the blog, and that’s about all.

I am trying to put together some data that can be used to query agents. One of the cardinal rules of a query is you must tailor the information to match the specific needs of the agent. This means that a wholesale generalized query letter will probably hit the trash. I am doing the research now. Also, I’m working on a blurb and synopsis.

None of what I’m doing will be a waste should I decide to go ahead and self-publish again. So I look upon the work as necessary.

We had some much-needed rain this week. It was the gentle stuff that does some good as opposed to the frog strangler type, which just ends up flooding the low lands.

After a couple of days of fewer reported cases of the Coronavirus, yesterday saw an increase. Of course, the stock market responded to the fear. Since a vaccine is twelve months off, we all need to be mindful of the basics of prevention. This is true for the flu as well as Coronavirus. 1. Wash hands a lot, especially if you frequent public areas. 2. Sneeze or cough into a tissue or your sleeve. 3. Get the rest you need. 4. Wear a quality germ mask if you have to fly.

Today’s JohnKu talks about personal responsibility in staying well. I hope you all have a great weekend.

The government is,

able to do just so much . . .

We need to take charge.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy and Twiggy Face a Cold Day

February 20, 2020February 19, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

“Hey, dad. What’s the temp like out there?”

“Right now, it’s 47 (8.33 C) degrees. Looks like a high of 49 (9.44 C ).”

“What do you think, Lucy. Play outside?”

“You nuts, Little One? I need 60 (15.5 C) degrees before I go out there.”

“I agree. Gonna take this old lap.”

“I think you are making the right move.”

“You going to nap some more?”

“Yeah. Let me just rest my eyes.”

“How about a game of calamari?”

“Maybe in a few minutes.”

“You two need to get some exercise.”

“Who us?”

“Yeah, you.”

Geez, Mom. That’s a little harsh. It gives me a body image challenge.”

“From where I sit, Lucy, I think mom has a point.”

“Okay, that’s it. You have to the count of three to grab that squid and run for your life.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

February 19, 2020February 18, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

Lucy and Twiggy — “Hows the bone, Little One.”
“Delicious, Lucy.”
“Glad I’m not in your way. Happy Hump Day.”
“Thank you. Could you move over just a little?”

It is Wednesday Story Day again and last week Jerry Foster (The room service guy) told Larry and Andrew about the fact that Cortez threatened Rafferty before he was killed. He also let fly that Wentworth is the son-in-law of Cortez. When asked why Janice Rafferty gave him a big tip he described seeing someone come out of her room shortly before he arrived with her breakfast. Oh, he also told our pair that Charles had nothing to do with Mrs. Rafferty. So, I see Larry and Andrew walking into the executive area and I’m guessing they are headed to Wentworth’s office.

“What are you going to ask Wentworth?”

“Why he lied about Jerry’s phone.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“Okay, Sherlock tell me the obvious answer.”

“He wanted us to go to Jerry’s apartment so he could have those guys with the assault rifles take us all out.”

“I guess I should restate my question to Wentworth.”

“Yes, you. Should.”

“Okay, how’s this? ‘Why did you set us up to be killed?’”

“I’m sure he’ll give you a straight answer to that one.”

“What would you ask, then?”

“I would start slowly with something like, ‘Tell us again about Jerry’s phone.’”

“Don’t you think he’ll lawyer up immediately?”

“I don’t think so. If you explain that you are interested in getting to the truth maybe he’ll finger someone else.”

“Yeah, I see that. It is worth a try. We are here at the executive office. Let’s go in.”

“Yes, gentlemen can I help you?”

“We are here to see Wentworth.”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“This badge says I don’t need an appointment. Is he here?”

“L-let me check. Mr. Wentworth. There are two policemen here to see you. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. He says to go right in.”

“Well, gentlemen. So nice to see you.”

“I’ll bet seeing us is a bit of a surprise huh?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Detective.”

“Yeah sure—”

“Uh, Larry. Truth?”

“Okay, Andrew. You know Wentworth we are trying to find out who killed Alexis Rafferty.”

“What has that to do with me?”

“Nice, subtle lead-in, Larry.”

“Thanks, Andrew. Oh, I see. You are being facetious. Anyway Wentworth.”

“That’ll be Sanford.”

“Yeah, right, Sanford. You know Andrew and I are trying to get to the truth, and we think you can help us.”

“Help how?”

“For example. You pretty much said Jerry had dismantled his phone.”

“No. I said Jerry wasn’t answering his phone and then when we went to the break room it was in pieces.”

“You said it was Jerry’s phone.”

“That’s right.”

But it wasn’t.”

“News to me, Detective.”

“Okay let’s quit running around the bush. Did you send a group of hired guns to kill us?”

“Excuse me but this little game is over. Get out of my office before I call the real police.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #250 by Keith Channing

February 18, 2020February 17, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #250

“Can you hear me?”

“Muffelluff eff.”

“What?”

“Merfing merp merp.”

“I can’t understand you. Is something blocking your mouth?”

“Ah, moggle mit merf. Is this better? The snow was in the way.”

“My goodness, yes. How are you doing?”

“Just fine. Unfortunately, I fell in this deep hole.”

“I know. I have been sent to rescue you.”

“Who are you?”

“My name is Arty.”

“Arty?”

“Yup. Short for Arctic Rescue Canine.”

“Do you have a rope?”

“No. Just my paws. I will have you out in no time.”

“You are going to dig down here?”

“Yup. That’s right.”

“Then what?”

“Then, we walk out of the hole together.”

“Excuse me if I seem dubious, but I don’t know how that’s going to happen.”

“The walking part?”

“No the digging part. You’ve got about ten feet to dig to reach me.”

“Piece of cake.”

“How can you be so sure.”

“I used to be able to dig out of my yard in ten seconds flat, and that was dirt. This is snow. What chance does it stand?”

“Well, you sound convincing.”

“What do you have to lose?”

“Nothing, I guess. One more thing.”

“Yes.”

“I’m a cat.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No. Arctic Bob is my name.”

“Tell me the name ‘Bob’ is not part of the term bobcat.”

“It is.”

“You know I think I hear my owner. You can do this Bob. See ya.”

“Darn. Thought I had one.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Issue of the First Telephone Book in 1878

February 17, 2020February 16, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 85 Comments

New Haven Phone Directory

This week marks the anniversary of the world’s first telephone directory issued by the New Haven Connecticut Telephone Company containing the names of its 50 subscribers. Most of us are always interested in the release of a new book. This one is only one page but is the first of its kind, so we should go and see what it is all about. As usual, we need to take a list of things not to do to avoid the dreaded time continuum tear.

10 If you are there, do not ask about a ‘do not call’ list. If you do, at best, folks will wonder what you mean. At worst, the publisher of the book will call you a radical communist. (After all, Kevin. Who doesn’t want to be called by their friends and neighbors? I think those guys with brass knuckles wish to talk with you.)

9 If you are there, do not try to take a second copy from Tiny, the WWF champ, who is also the distribution manager. If you do, at best, Tiny will gently remind you only one copy per customer. At worst, Tiny, who has skipped three anger management sessions and also his morning coffee, will demonstrate the law of gravity, and his ability to toss a 180-pound weight ten feet into the air. Yes, Kennith, you are about to go airborne.)

8 If you are there, do not describe the mayor out loud as having “More chins than the New Haven directory.” If you do, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worst, the Chin brothers want to talk to you. (Now you’ve done it, Khalil. The brothers think your comparison cast them in a bad light since they are not listed. It looks like a duel at sunrise is the only solution.)

7 If you are there, do not ask how you can get an anonymous listing. If you do, at best, the crowd will merely wonder about your point. At worst, the idea will spread, and the phonebook will be dead before it begins. (The phone company management wants to see you in private, Kurt. I don’t think they are going to offer you a bonus for your brilliant idea.)

6 If you are there, do not ask why there are no numbers and just names. If you do, at best, your question will demonstrate your lack of knowledge about how the phone works. (there are no direct dialing methods, Kenny. You pick up the phone and ask for a person by name. This will be explained to you in the basement of the phone company office. Oh yes, there will be a water board to help you remember where you came from.)

5 If you are there, do not try to spend more than three minutes on a single call. If you do, at best, you will be gently reminded of the rules. At worst, the phone police will suspend your call privileges. (It appears that you missed the provisions of the phone company, Kareem. Customers are limited to three minutes per call, and no more than two calls an hour without permission from the central office. It looks like Geraldine is in charge. Good luck in getting your privilege back.)

4 If you are there, do not begin talking without the company’s proscribed greeting of ‘hulloa.’ If you do, at best, no one else will be on the line. At worst, there will be others on the line, and everyone will be talking at once. (Nice going, Karl. You have now created the first mob scene in telecommunications history. Also saying ‘y’all shut up” hasn’t helped.)

3 If you are there, do not think your phone is missing a part. If you do, at best, someone will explain that the talk and listen function is in one piece. At worst, you’ll be ignored, and you will miss half of the conversation. (You are supposed to say ‘That is all,” when you are finished, Klaus. You then switch the receiver quickly to your ear to listen. There is a big guy heading your way to take that instrument away from you. Let him have it.)

2 If you are there, do not say anything you don’t want fifty people to hear. If you do, at best, what you say is insignificant. At worst, calling the doctor and talking about what is bothering you will be around town in three minutes. (Yeah, Kiefer. Everyone is avoiding you. They are wondering about that rash you described to Doctor Thompson. Maybe you could have used a code word for ‘down there.’)

1 If you are there, do not try to place a collect call. If you do, at best, the operator will laugh. At worst, the police will be notified since you have not paid your subscription fee. ( The price is $22 a year, Kurtis, and there is no such thing as a payphone. I think you have disrupted not only the phone company but time as well.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Street Signs in Lakeway

February 16, 2020February 15, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

I thought I would try something a little different. There are so many different names of streets in Lakeway, and yet some have a commonality. For instance, a number of them have a nautical theme, which makes sense since there is a lake here. Since Lakeway was founded in the sixties there are some streets that carry an astronaut or space theme. Since space travel was of high interest, then it is not unusual to have streets named after either vehicles or heavenly bodies. Here are those signs.

Views of the Neighborhood

This crossroad has a twofer, Rocket, and Explorer. The marker that is attached to street signpost designates the original parts of Lakeway. The font used for the words ‘Old Lakeway’ is the style used originally on the real estate sales brochures and posters back in the sixties.

Here’s one that is pretty simple and self-explanatory.

Yeah, we can get that for sure.

Of the eleven Vanguard rockets which the project attempted to launch, three successfully placed satellites into orbit.

Although a stretch, the Zephyr Rocket was an overnight passenger train operated jointly by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad (“Burlington Route”) and the Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific Railroad (“Rock Island Lines”) between Saint Louis, Missouri and the Twin Cities of Saint Paul and Minneapolis, Minnesota. I left this in for Dan Antion.

At the time of naming the street, I’m sure the thought was the constellation. Now NASA has an Orion, the only spacecraft designed for long-duration, human deep space exploration.

Views of the Neighborhood

Although it is unclear why the name Challenger was picked back in the sixties, it certainly can stand as a memorial to those who lost their lives on the shuttle disaster in 1986.