I randomly opened the book His Revenge to page 109. Without looking, I pointed to the page, and the closest word to my finger was a tie between hot and water, so I used both.
This post ran on April 1, 2019. Since there are still birthdays to consider, I hope it is useful now.
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If your significant other is having a birthday, there are things that you should not do. Yesterday was my significant other’s birthday, except for one thing: I managed to avoid the other stuff on the list.
10 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not take a lot of time writing a Ten Things Not to Do list. If you do, at best, there is still time for other activities. At worst, you will run out of time to celebrate the birthday. (Now you are in deep yogurt, Ghoukas. What happened to the cake, presents, and good wishes? You better pray for understanding.)
9 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not go to the gym with Tiny, the WWF wrestling champ. If you do, at best, you’ll only have sore muscles from sparring with him. At worst, Tiny will show you his latest helicopter spin and drop maneuver. (Hard to celebrate from the ER, huh, Giancarlo? Don’t worry; someone will call and let your significant other know you won’t attend the party.)
8 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not think a packet of beef jerky from the convenience store is the perfect gift. If you do, at best, your significant other will take it as a joke. At worst, you’ll be dining alone tonight. (That beef jerky helps cover the taste of the crow, Gili. Better luck next year.)
7 If your significant other is having a birthday, don’t forget to cancel your participation in the weekly bowling event. If you do forget, at best, you’ll stay home. At worst, you’ll go to the event and suffer dire consequences. (Did no one ever tell you about life choices, Gilvaethwy? You now must live with the results of your neglect. Please remember it was Fido’s house before you moved in.)
6 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not think going to your favorite place is the best experience for a birthday. If you do, at best, none of the usual crowd are there. At worst, your bowling team members and the local motorcycle club are having a beer-chugging contest. (You could have made a reservation at a beautiful place, Giovany. But no, your significant other is being cheered on as she downs a quart bong. Tomorrow is not going to be a good day for you.)
5 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not expect a home-cooked meal instead of dinner out. If you do, at best, you’ll get cold cuts. At worst, your significant other will cook something and leave it with a note telling you a restaurant visit was expected. (It looks like your significant other and a bunch of friends are having more fun than you, Girvin.)
4 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not offer to bake a cake unless you know what you are doing. If you do, at best, you can still have time to call the bakery. At worst, the suggestion will be made to use your masterpiece as a doorstop. (Never knew frosting would get that hard, did you, Glaucus? Maybe NASA would like to know about your formula.)
3 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not buy a card with a message that is obviously not a natural expression of your feelings. If you do, at best, your significant other will get a chuckle. At worst, the inscription, “Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to run away, How about you?” will be taken the wrong way. (You were talking about a trip together, Gobrwy. What the heck are you doing in court?)
2 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not give a gift you know is unsuitable. If you do, at best, you might be able to keep it. At worst, you might be wearing it. (They say to give a gift you would like to receive, Godric. I’m not sure your significant other had a cordless weed trimmer in mind as the perfect gift.)
1 If your significant other is having a birthday, do not invite guests who your significant other does not know to the celebration. If you do, at best, some new friendships will be made. At worst, you will get no kudos for the uncomfortable feeling your significant other will have in a room filled with strangers. (It seemed like a good idea at the time, Gofraidh. You better get over there. It looks like your significant other and your boss are having some kind of argument.)
Today, we are going to explore the neighborhood and check out what some consider trash. Is there treasure? You can decide. We are catered by Arlo Grey of Austin. Or entertainment is Mary Heather Hickman.
The desire for something different led to punching the Latte button instead of plain coffee. Had to stand back as the machine did its work. Much hissing and bubbling produced a tall glass of delightful milk foam and a layer of golden nectar. Someone called out my name, so I knew it was ready. While taking a big sip and noting the foam mustache, the Westminster chimes of the doorbell caused an instant eruption.
Twiggy and Tempeste were all about barking the intruder to St. Louis. Getting them settled was not easy. The question of what idiot would ring a doorbell when there is a sign to not do that is still unanswered.
Moving to the security system, the shutdown process begins.
The turret machine guns are set to stand by, the boiling oil cauldron tipping mechanism is turned off, and the automated arrow launching pods are unarmed. In addition, the Trebuchet, ballista, and falling rock device are switched to manual. The claymore mines are set to manual, the mote net rolled back, and the concertina wire retracted. The Iron gate is raised, and the bolts are thrown on the front door.
Standing there is a character who looks very much like Elmer Fudd. I ask what he wants, and he responds, “Have you seen a wabbit around here?”
“No, I have not seen a Wabbit.”
“If you do can you give me a call?”
“Might I ask what business you have with the Wabbit?”
“I want to shoot him. Here’s my card.”
“Okay Thanks. I’ll call if I see him.”
The guy turns around and heads off the porch. My mental note reads “No way Jose.” After dumping the card and touching the security activate switch the text tone causes me to check my phone. The text reads Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “i before e.” Find a word that has an “i” before an “e” even if there’s a letter between them, and use it for your prompt word. Have fun!
credit – Guillaume Blondel, Archaeological Service of the City of Eu
A team of student archaeologists in France was surprised while working on a site dating to Gaulic times.
The excavations, carried out under the direction of Guillaume Blondel, director of the municipal archaeological service of the city of Eu, delivered, among other things, a moving and very special testimony from the past.
Located in a previously investigated section of the site, a message was discovered in a small glass bottle from the 19th century accompanied by two coins: a “time capsule” buried almost 200 years ago, a statement from the service read.
“P. J. Féret, a native of Dieppe and member of various intellectual societies, excavated here in January 1825. He continues his investigations in this vast area known as the Cité de Limes or Caesar’s Camp.”
The message in a bottle had been carefully placed in a ceramic pot dating to a much earlier century so that future archaeologists would be sure to find it.
“It was an absolutely magic moment,” Mr. Blondel told the BBC. “We knew there had been excavations here in the past, but to find this message from 200 years ago… it was a total surprise.”
credit – Guillaume Blondel, Archaeological Service of the City of Eu
“Sometimes you see these time capsules left behind by carpenters when they build houses. But it’s infrequent in archaeology. Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won’t be anyone coming after them because they’ve done all the work!”
Local archives indeed record P. J. Féret in the area as a historical excavator when the letter was dated.
credit – Guillaume Blondel, Archaeological Service of the City of Eu
The work was funded and carried out in partnership with the Regional Archaeology Service to preserve archaeological sites endangered by the coastline’s decline. Already a part of the ‘oppidum’ or fortified Gaulic camp, has fallen away with the crumbling of the coastal hillside on which it was perched.
The Gauls were a series of interconnected feudal (at best) and tribal (at worst) societies that shared societal, cultural, and warrior practices and who inhabited most of central and western Europe during the time of the Roman Republic.
Gaius Julius Caesar waged a campaign to pacify Gaul, hence the name “Caesar’s Camp,” which brought Spain, France, and Belgium under Roman control.
The good news in this story is that the past has been preserved to be studied today. Today’s JohnKu talks about history. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
I am so pleased to be featured on Sally’s blog today. She has a feature that gives an author the opportunity to share an excerpt for one of their books. The Last Drive is being featured with an excerpt starring the one and only Lucifer and the antagonist.
A visit to Sally’s place is a treat and worth the time to look around and experience all that Sally has to offer. Sally is a big supporter of Indie authors and a fabulous author too. Thank you Sally for your kind support.
This post ran on July 9, 2018. Since we all still go to dentists, it may be useful.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are in a Dentist’s Chair
The inspiration for this list was a routine visit to the dentist. Like all dentist offices, I could hear what was happening in several offices around me. I listened to some funny things and made up some of my own. I hope you enjoy this list
10 If you are in a dentist’s chair, do not try to answer the dentist’s questions while their hand is in your mouth. If you do, at best, your answer will be garbled and not understood. At worst, the dentist may come up missing a tool. (Yes, it is strange the dentist asks a question while you are incapable of speech, Elijah. Try to resist since that lost tool may be with you for a long time.)
9 If you are in a dentist’s chair, do not listen to Tiny the WWF champ whimper in the next room. If you do, at best, it may unnerve you. At worst, Tiny may catch sight of you as he leaves and will want to make sure you won’t gossip about his lack of fortitude. (That shadow passing over you as you go from the dentist’s office, Evan, is Tiny coming up from behind. Don’t think. Just drop and roll.)
8 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not ask about the cost of a procedure while it is underway. If you do, at best, you won’t like the answer. At worst, the dentist may decide to give you a discount, provided you can endure the procedure with no painkillers. ( You have to wonder, Ezekiel, why he keeps asking, “Is it safe?” from the movie Marathon Man. Yes, that is you making all that noise.)
7 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not try to read your chart when the Dentist leaves. If you do, at best, you won’t understand a thing. At worst, the hygienist will walk in just as you are leaning over backward with the chart in your hands. (How do you explain yourself, Edgar? You could have just asked to see your chart.)
6 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not think about the Italian sub you had for lunch. If you do, at best, you won’t open your mouth. At worst, you will try to explain your faux pas, all while the hygienist continues to spray mouthwash each time you open your mouth. (You wish the “ew” sound were a result of a different source, huh, Elliott?)
5 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not fool around with the controls. If you do, at best, you won’t get wet. At worst, you will cause possible complications from replacing the polishing tool function with a drilling tool function. (That hole in your front tooth is charming, Emmett. Maybe you can get a diamond to fit in there.)
4 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not think the dentist will be right in to see you. If you do, at best, your waiting time will seem even longer. At worst, you fell asleep and drooled all over that lovely napkin under your chin. (How do you explain the wet spot to the hygienist, Edwin? Try your Quasimodo impersonation. “Here. Take whistle. That is the only thing I hear. Blow if in trouble.” They will love it.)
3 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not remind yourself about that 32-ounce Big Gulp soda you finished on the way over here. If you do, at best, you will forgive yourself for not making a restroom stop. At worst, the dental staff will think you are a crack addict, given the amount of twitching and jumping you go through as you try to manage the specter of an accident. (Why is that little voice in your head still talking about Niagara Falls, Easton? Pretty self-defeating, I would say.)
2 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not acknowledge the rumbling inside of you. If you do, at best, your explanation of the sour kraut and corned beef sandwich will fall on unsympathetic ears. At worst, you may give your body permission to vent off the building pressure. (Nothing pleases people more in a closed room, Edmund.)
1 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not ask to hold a teddy bear before the procedure. If you do, at best, the staff will think you are joking. At worst, you will get the bear and a chart notation to watch for an emotional break in the future. (Ever wonder why everyone talks in a whisper when you visit the office, Ezequiel?)
