Top Ten Things Not to do if You Find Yourself Waiting Your Turn

Photo by Melanie Pongratz on Unsplash

 

This post originally ran on August 8th, 2014. I still like the advice and hope you enjoy it.

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Here is the 59th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. The inspiration for this came from standing in several lines Hope you like it.

Top Ten Things Not to do if You Find Yourself Waiting Your Turn

10 If you are in line at a ferry, do not turn off your car. If you do, at best, the minute you do, the line will start moving. At worst, your car won’t start, and the friendly folks behind you will figure out a way to heave your vehicle over the side of the access terminal into thirty feet of water.

9. If you are in line at the pharmacy, do not try to eavesdrop on the confidential medical briefing of the person in front of you. If you do, at best, you may hear something that your ears won’t forgive or forget. At worst, the store will hit you with a HIPPA violation and send you to the back of the line again.

8. If you are in line at the ten items or less express checkout at the supermarket, do not comment on the twenty items the person ahead of you has just laid on the counter. If you do, at best, you will hear the old excuse, “Oh, I didn’t notice that this was ten items or less.” At worst, you will be savagely attacked by a seemingly quiet, unassuming person who (unknown to you ) was just released from a psychiatric hospital due to the lack of funding.

7. If you are in line at a movie theatre, do not groan loudly when the person in front of you wants to know the movie’s rating. If you do, At best, you will need to suffer through other questions like, “How long does it run?” At worst, you will be faced with the spouse of the person in front of you wondering what your problem is and asking you kindly to cut them some slack while showing you a close-up of a fist.

6. If you are in line at a convenience store, do not make any comments about a person in front of you who wants to pick out the specific scratch–off ticket but can’t make up their mind. If you do, at best, you make have to explain your problem when asked. At worst, you will need to apologize for your impatience when you learn that the ticket is being purchased as a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary present.

5. If you are in line at the bank, do not prompt the half-asleep person standing in front of you behind the wait here line that a teller is open. If you do, at best, the person may pop awake and think you are being fresh. At worst, the person will take offense since they were not paying attention and ask you something about “Where’s the fire?”

4. If you are in line at the doctor’s office, do not complain to the receptionist about how valuable you consider your time. If you do, At best, you will be waiting twice as long since the receptionist just had an argument with the doctor about how little she makes. At worst, the receptionist will somehow lose your place, and you will still be there when the doctor and the receptionist leave for the night, asking you to come back tomorrow.

3. If you are waiting to be served at one of the hottest bars in town, do not wave at the bartender. If you do, at best, he will simply wave back and wait on others. At worst, the bartender will finally give you the old what’ll you have and then tell you they don’t have it, and maybe they will across the street.

2. If you are waiting to be seated in a trendy restaurant, do not think you will be seated without tipping the Matre D. If you do, At best, you will finally have to break down and either tip or go elsewhere. At worst, you will get a seat in the bar just as they are starting the fastest cigar smoker contest and there are twenty-four contestants all lighting up at the same time.

1. If you find yourself waiting in line at Starbucks, do not try to cut the line. If you do, at best, you will be chastised by the teenage barista. At worst, your double decaf, soy, low foam latte will have a taste resembling the faint essence of dirty socks, and you should not ask why.

Views of the Neighborhood – The Trail of Lights Opens.

Today we are going to attend the opening of the Trail of Lights in Lakeway, sponsored by the Lakeway Department of Parks and Recreation. Since this event starts at sundown, we will only have dessert. We are being catered by The Yard Milkshake Bar of Austin. Our entertainment is Pilot.

Menu

Picture of an old time school bus

Let’s get rolling

Although we are a little early, the cookie decorating place is ready.

Compose a letter to Santa?

The bookmobile getting set up.

Facepainting. (of course)

Here is where the big man himself holds court.

There’s pizza.

Hot chocolate.

A bucking reindeer.

Jumbo Tron with the movie Polar Express playing.

Games.

Spirit of the season

The band is getting ready

Fires are ready for s’mores.

A sample of what everyone came to see.

Another shot.

I hope you enjoyed seeing the preparations for the grand opening of the Trail of Lights. Enjoy your milkshake and the music.

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Dict.”

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Another night of worry about a random rocket seems to dissipate with the first sip from the fresh hot mug in my hand. All too soon, it is time to figure out what to do with the rocket, though. To that end, a visit to the bathtub has thankfully verified that Pepe La Peu has decamped. Just where he has gone is anyone’s guess.

“Monsieur le Owner.” It is Pepe standing by the door to the backyard. My response is a cool acknowledgment of his presence. He begins to tell me about his action plan, and he is temporarily halted by my upraised hand. “So we are clear, I would like you to dictate your plan into my phone.” A frown crosses his furry forehead. “Mais oui but let me ask why?”

My assurance that we need to fuly understand his plan seems to assuage his concern. He takes my phone and describes the ignition procedure. My hand goes up again. “Oui monsier?” My explanation of the home owners Association rules about igniting rockets with in the community falls on understanding years. “You have a Trebuchet as part of your security system, no?” He goes on to explain that he will use the Trebuchet to loft the rocket out of the neighborhood and then commence with the ignition sequence.

The point is made by me that the Trecuchet might be too small to handle the rocket and suggested the larger ballista might be a better choice. In fact the ballista is scheduled to be delivered today by Amazon Prime.

Pepe agree to wait for the ballista and said he had a text on his phone from Linda Hill. Looking over his shoulder the text reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “dict.” Find a word that contains “dict” and use it in your post. Have fun!

If you would like to have fun visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to join in. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/12/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-10-2022/

Dict by John W. Howell © 2022

“What the heck is a ballista anyway?”

“It’s a big ole rock throwing catepult used in ancient times.”

“And you had to order one?”

“Yeah. Came recommended by Dan the same guy who sold me the Trebuchet.”

“You know people are going to start talking about you.”

“I would hope they would grab a dictionary and look these things up.”

“Clever.”

“What?”

“How you worked dictionary in there.”

“Didn’t think about it.”

“Well, anhow folks aree going to think you are off your rocker with all these security devices.”

“It’s a dangerous world out there.”

“Oh stop. You just like to write about that stuff.”

“Okay you caught me. Was fun to work the ballista into the story.”

“When is this crazyness going to be over.”

“You mean Pepe and the Rocket?”

“Yeah what else would I mean?”

“I guess he will have it all figured out next week. By the way I did not know Pepe was an MIT grad and validictorian I might add..”

“Okay that’s it. Time for more predictable substance.”

“You mean beer don’t you?”

“I do and you’re buying.”

“I bought last week.”

“I don’t mean to contradict you but what does that have to do with anything?”

“Don’t we share the cost?”

“You are the only one with money.”

“I forgot. Okay, text Uber.”

“Fandango is on his way.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Friyay/Good News

Millennium atoll, one of the Southern Line Islands – CC 2.0.

Today’s good news story is from the Good News Network; here is the story in its entirety. (some typos have been corrected)

Once Devastated Pacific Reefs See Amazing Rebirth, Recovering With ‘Shocking Speed’

As remote as they were beautiful, the coral reefs around the 5 volcano tips making up the Southern Line Islands dazzled National Geographic explorers in 2009 during a visit.

Remarking that they re-painted the image of what a pristine coral reef looks like—bursting with color and life—the team of the Pristine Seas Expedition had been crushed when a record-warming El Niño event in 2015 caused mass coral die-offs.

Then a return in 2021 revealed a remarkable scene—bright, healthy corals teeming with life as far down as 100 feet off the island slopes. After record numbers of coral deaths, a team member estimated their populations averaged around 43 million to 53 million coral colonies per square mile.

The Southern Line Islands belong to the Pacific island nation of Kiribati. Enric Sala, a marine biologist and member of Pristine Seas, detailed that it took longer to reach them by plane and boat than it took the astronauts of the Apollo missions to land on the Moon.

During the 2017 trip to Vostock, Flint, and Millennium islands, the vast swaths of cauliflower corals, pocillopora were all gone, while the species Acropora was also hard hit. Some other species were less damaged, however, giving the Sala, who was preoccupied at the time and didn’t get to join the 2017 trip, hope they could recover.

In fact, the expedition found promising signs the reef could do just that since rather than being covered with seaweed, the dead corals were covered in “crustose coralline algae,” a marine plant that coral larvae can latch onto to build new reefs in the same way that a brick latches onto mortar.

Sure enough, this foundation led to near-total regeneration of the reefs around the Southern Line Islands.

“The reef was covered by light-blue corals that looked like giant roses—a garden of Montipora aequituberculata stretching as far as I could see,” says Sala.

Since the Southern Line Islands are so remote, no one was keeping an eye on how the corals were able to regrow so significantly, but Sala has an idea. Since most of the montipora were the same size, it’s possible that one or two massive coral spawning events, where they reproduce and launch their eggs out into the sea before the larvae rain back down on the reef, are enough to repopulate large areas of dead corals.

Its resilience earned it the moniker of a “super reef” among the crew.

“The corals that were resistant to the phenomenal 2015-16 El Niño provided the reefs’ resilience,” wrote Sala. “The Southern Line Islands lie in one of the hottest hot spots of warming in the Pacific Ocean, so the corals apparently have adapted to heat.”

As for the flush of the mortar-like crustose coralline algae over the dead corals as opposed to seaweed, Sala chalks it up to the great numbers of grazing fish like zebrafish, parrotfish, surgeonfish, and others that would simply devour any seaweed before it could overgrow the coral.

Kiribati’s government has ensured that these seas, which have never seen large-scale commercial fishing, will never see it, and now make up the Southern Line Islands Marine Protected Area (SLIMPA)

The good news here is that natural healing of the coral has taken place. Today’s JohnKu talks about the power of nature. I hope you have a great weekend.

Nature by John W. Howell ©2022

Still under attack,

Yet finding a way to thrive . . .

Mother is her name.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy in the Warm Again

“What do you suppose happened out here?”

“Looks like the trees have finally let go of their leaves.”

“This yard was clean a day ago.”

“I know. I think the chilly weather made the trees dump their leaves.”

“I’m going to check out the patio  and see what’s happening there.”

“Now that the days are warm again, I’ll go with you.”

“All looks okay here. But, I wonder about Mom’s potting area.”

“This looks great out here. Maybe sunbath time.”

“Might be a good idea, but I must have a look-see first.”

“Never heard of the fate of the curious cat, I suppose.”

“What cat. I don’t smell a cat.”

“Never mind. I forgot how easily you are distracted. Looks like a lot of leaves here too.”

“You were saying about that sun bath?”

“Since it’s warm, I thought we could lay out.”

“Check out the roses. Looks like we are getting some more blooms.”

“Correct as usual, King Friday. They are beautiful.”

“I’m going to stake out my lounge. You coming?”

“Just want to look at this Mandeville. No blooms on it.”

“Boy, this is going to be a great day. It’s like summer all over again.”

“I agree. I wonder if mom will put more plants in this pot.”

“You can ask her.”

“After our sunbath. I think I will. This would be a good spot for some red cyclamen.

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #389 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Link to Keith’s post. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/12/05/kreative-kue-389/

The Photo.

Come Clean by John W. Howell © 2022

“Okay, Trevor. This is a new one. Why are you in the clothes dryer?”

“Well, Eos, if it is any of your business, I’m hiding out.”

“Hiding out from what? Or should I say who?”

“Yeah, it’s a who and a what.”

“Care to explain?”

“The who is mama.”

“Okay, so why do you have to hide from mama?”

“Aren’t you curious about the what?”

“I suppose.”

“The what is the reason for hiding from the who.”

“Enough of the riddles. Tell me what has you in hiding.”

“Bath.”

“Bath?”

“Mama wants to give me a bath.”

“Oh my goodness. This is serious. When was the last time?”

“It took me all this time to forget it, so don’t make me go back to remember.”

“Fine. Forget I asked.”

“Easy to say.”

“For heaven’s sake. You know hiding in the dryer is a short-term proposition, don’t you?”

“I only need one break.”

“Well being here when mama comes to stuff these clothes into the dryer isn’t the answer.”

“I know.”

“So why are you still here?”

“I think I hear mama coming.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

“Oh Eos there you are. Time for your bath.”

“Any more questions?”

“Just one. How do you sleep at night?”

 

Top Ten Things Not To Do While Creating Top Ten Lists

 

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

This list was first posted on July 14th, 2014. I think the advice still holds today. Of course, I seem to be the only one making top ten things not to do lists, so I will take it under advisement. I hope you enjoy it too.

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Top Ten Things Not To Do While Creating Top Ten Lists

10. If you are creating a top ten list, do not wait until the last minute before publication. If you do, at best, you may have to go with nine. At worst, you might get stuck after two items, leading to severe writer’s block, which might transfer to your latest novel.

9. If you are creating a top ten list, do not ask your significant other how they like it. If you do, at best, you might get an honest answer. At worst, you may find out your significant other and you have nothing whatsoever in common, which will be more of a problem than a top ten list.

8. If you are creating a top ten list, do not choose a limited subject. ( like creating top ten lists) If you do, at best, you will be hard-pressed to think of ten items, At worst, you will make your vulnerability on the subject transparent to everyone, and you could be the laughing stock of the blogosphere.

7. If you are creating a top ten list, do not think you are in line for a Pulitzer prize. If you think you are, at best, you will have a very bad day when the Pulitzers are announced. At worst, you will set yourself up for a monumental disappointment that might cripple you for life.

6. If you are creating a top ten list, do not start if you can’t count to ten. If you do, at best, you may be asking others for help. At worst, you will muddle on with no hope of completing the task and no notion as to why.

5. If you are creating a top ten list, do not start a list at number one. If you do, at best, your readers will not understand the arrangement and complain since everyone knows you count down from ten. At worst, your action could force some fragile individuals to become wards of the state for the next twenty years since you have altered what they perceive as universal normalcy.

4. If you are creating a top ten list, do not try to fit in some political rhetoric. If you do, at best, you may get some opposing comments that are not very pleasing. At worst, you’ll have political trolls after you for the rest of your natural life, and the only way to escape is to write under a pen name.

3. If you are creating a top ten list, do not get wrapped up in the serious stuff. If you do, at best, you may spend more time researching than the list is worth. At worst, you may not do enough research and find yourself on Wikipedia as an example of an idiot.

2. If you are creating a top ten list, try to find some humorous things to say. If you don’t, at best, you will collect some mercy likes but no comments. At worst, you will watch your followers drop like flies at a Raid convention.

1. If you are creating a top ten list, try to remember the previous ten, so you don’t end up repeating yourself. If you forget, at best, your readers will assume you are a lousy proofreader. At worst, they will come to the conclusion that your drinking problem has gotten to the point of intervention, and the sound at the door is the friendly technicians from Sleepy Time Rehab trying to get in with your Demerol shot and the white jacket.

Views of the Neighborhood – The Falling Leaves

Very seldom do we get colors of fall here in this part of Texas. Given the drought situation, we did not expect much. Then suddenly, we got a little rain, and the trees said in unison, “Let’s go for it.” So today, we are going to see what they look like. We are being catered by Olamaie of Austin. Pay no attention to the prices. It’s covered. Our entertainment is Neil Young.

Menu

Screen Shot 2022-11-05 at 1.51.46 PM.png

Picture of an old time school bus

So let’s get rolling.

The first view is a Bradford pear just beginning to turn.

Red berries.

A great ingredient for one of my favorite liquors. Juniper berries

A bush version of the red berries.

A Bradford pear in full glory.

A deciduous oak in the foreground and a Bradford pear in the back.

Another deciduous oak.

Bradford pears.

An old Bradford pear.

A crape myrtle

More red berries

A golden color deciduous oak.

Another red deciduous oak

A glorious Japanese Maple.

I hope you enjoyed seeing our fall color. Relax and have some food and enjoy the music. I hope you have a great week.

Saturday Stream of Consciousness – Prompt – Twin/Tween

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

The coffee is on its way. The machine lives up to the promise of a perfect cup. One sip, and it is clear why the addiction to caffeine is so strong. The senses sharpen, and the mind becomes razor-sharp. Each sip adds to the overall enhancement of the carbon unit. The nose takes in the coffee aroma and sends the signal to the brain. The brain immediately rejects the call and orders the carbon unit into action.

The brain screams the warning, “There is a skunk in the house, and it must be found.” The body is a little slower to respond. It is clear now that the nose might be the best tool to aid the search. The twin team of puma hunters, Twiggy and Lucy, are no help at all. Both seem to understand the risk of coming face-to-face with the critter. The expression on Lucy’s face says it all. “Never shall the twain of skunk and dog meet.”

On my own, to face the possibility tween getting sprayed and moving out of the house, it becomes crucial to find the beast. Having settled on the spray option, the search is done in earnest. All of a sudden, the music reaches my ears. Edith Piaf’s Non Je Ne Regrette Rein is clearly being played in the background. Pepe Le Peu is in my bathtub, surrounded by bubbles. He waves me in and points to an envelope sitting on the sink. Picking up the envelope, the question comes out with no filter. “When are you leaving my house?”

Pepe looks hurt, and guilt immediately grabs me by the throat. Bet to open the envelope, which contains two messages. The first is from Pepe. I can help with the rocket. The second is from Linda hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is twin/tween. Use twin or tween any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use both. Enjoy!

If you would like to participate, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/12/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-3-2022/

Twin/Tween by John W. Howell

“What was he doing in the bathtub?”

“Relaxing, I suppose.”

“Seems like a dumb thing for a skunk to be doing.”

“I thought the same.”

“Then why did you keep it in the start?”

“I thought it would be funny.”

“I think you missed the mark. It’s a fine line tween funny and dumb.”

“Those are twin feelings, I would agree.”

“I think you fell on the dumb side.”

“Well, that’s cold.”

“Just want to keep it real.”

“Real what?”

“Real. You know, authentic.”

“Thanks for the help.”

“Now you’re pouting.”

“Not really. Besides, when did I ever listen to you about dumb things.”

“Yeah, I would say never.”

“Right. Speaking of dumb, do you have money this week.”

“If I say yes, I have to buy, right?”

“Right.”

“Nope.”

“Figures. Call Uber.”

“You know you don’t ‘call’ Uber, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know. It’s a figure of speech. hit the app.”

“Done. Fantasia will be here in five minutes.”

“Fantasia?”

“I’m betting phony name.”

“Like a driver name?”

“Yeh.”

“Let’s hope not.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA -TGIF – FRI-Yay/Good News

100 Farmers, Neighbors Help Harvest Iowa Farmer’s Crops After He Died Suddenly From Cancer

BY LOUISE CHAMBERS TIME NOVEMBER 26, 2022

Paul Baker, courtesy of Melissa Baker

Today’s good news story was brought to my attention by blogger and author Noelle Granger. It comes from the Epoch Times Newsletter, and here it is in its entirety. Thanks so much, Noelle, for submitting this one.

When an Iowa farmer died suddenly and unexpectedly from lung cancer, his neighbors rallied together within days to reap the corn crops he left behind. His family, deeply humbled, are grateful for the tight-knit community that showed their love and saved their harvest.

Born and raised in Creston, Iowa, Paul Baker farmed around 500 acres of land, raising beef cattle, soybeans, and corn. Nobody, including Paul and his wife of 46 years, Lynn Baker, had any idea Paul was battling cancer.

After he became seriously ill in March, his health never improved. “He didn’t ever get his breath back and [had] no energy,” his wife, Lynn, 68, told The Epoch Times. “We finally went to the doctor about a month ago.”

Epoch Times Photo
Several dozen farmers help harvest crops on Paul Baker’s corn field. (Courtesy of Melissa Baker.
With fluid already on his lungs, a biopsy brought more foreboding news: lung cancer. “He passed away about four days later,” Lynn said. “We didn’t expect it to be anything like that … I think we were all very sad and shocked.”

A devout Catholic, Paul placed his faith in God but was “just aggravated that he didn’t feel better,” his wife said. He kept farming up until the day he was admitted to the hospital and died on October 20 at the age of 66.

Their daughter Melissa Baker said, “The community knew something was wrong … farmers and friends had already worked with my uncle John to harvest the soybeans while he was in the hospital. They just volunteered, nobody asked them to do it … that’s what happened with the corn, too.”

Epoch Times Photo
Combines and semi trucks gathered to harvest Paul Baker’s 500-acre cornfield. (Courtesy of Melissa Baker)
Epoch Times Photo
An aerial view of farmers cooperating to harvest Paul Baker’s corn crop after he died of cancer. (Courtesy of Melissa Baker)

When the Bakers’ community learned Paul had passed, they called Don, the husband of John and Melissa’s sister Meredith, who plans to take over the farm, offering to help in any way they could.

“By the time we went to the visitation and the service, I think we had a huge spreadsheet of all these different teams of farmers,” Melissa said, who lives three hours away in Cedar Rapids. “They just wanted to help my dad because he would do it for anybody else.”

On October 27, two days after Paul’s funeral, some 30 combine harvesters, 38 semis, and countless tractors and buggies arrived on the Bakers’ land before sunrise. Melissa guessed some 100 people lent their time, equipment, love, and labor for a full day’s work harvesting crops.

Local businesses donated breakfast and lunches to the farmers, and children from nearby St. Malachy Catholic School, where Paul’s granddaughters attend, decorated lunch bags and crafted thank you letters. Melissa tried to visit every field to thank them personally and was quickly overwhelmed.

Epoch Times Photo
Farmers pose with combines at Paul Baker’s field. (Courtesy of Melissa Baker)
Epoch Times Photo
Local farmers pose with the Baker family. (Courtesy of Melissa Baker)

Lynn said, “It was really emotional. Of course, we cried a lot, but we were just overwhelmed and felt very loved … at the end of the day, everybody gathered together, and that was really fun just to see everybody celebrate [Paul] and talk about him. I think he would be nothing but pleased to see all of us together.

“People are really good.”

Melissa said, “It’s nice to see that people really do care and are willing to help and show up. I know that happens in other communities, but there’s something really special about a small-town rural community.”

Lynn describes her late husband, a Knight of Columbus who was very active in the church, as “very kind and loving.” He worked over 40 hours a week for his whole life but still made enough time for his family, including his two grandchildren, and loved telling jokes to strangers.

Epoch Times Photo
Paul Baker on the farm. (Courtesy of Melissa Baker)
Epoch Times Photo
Paul Baker enjoys some leisure time. (Courtesy of Melissa Baker)

“He was just a very personable, outgoing, loving human,” Lynn said. “If anybody needed help, he was the first to help them.”

Paul’s faith kept him strong until the end; Meredith told the Diocese of Des Moines that when her father’s time came, he was ready.

“On the last day that he was with us, he said he was waiting for the Lord,” Meredith said. “We’re a very faith-based family. It was very comforting for us to know that he was good, and he was ready, and that he would continue to be with us always but in a different capacity.”

The Good news here is people pitch in unselfishly to help a family in trouble. Today’s JohnKu talks about helping. I hope you have a great weekend.

Do You? by John W. Howell

When you see trouble,

Do you go out of your way . . .

To help or avoid.

I am over at Story Empire today. Come see me I’m talking about humor.