Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.
This list was originally posted on February 2nd, 2015. Although the Superbowl is two weeks away, maybe it will resonate after yesterday’s NFL playoffs.
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This list was inspired by years and years of attempting to burn a candle at both ends. This list could be much longer, but a cutoff had to be made somewhere. Also, since this is the Monday after the Super Bowl, maybe there is some advice you can use. I hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to Do with a Hangover
10 If you have a hangover, do not attempt to cover the fact by talking too much. If you do, at best, you will have erased any doubt as to your condition. At worst, your mouth will run off and leave your sodden brain back in the pain pit, and the brain will only catch up when it detects the words “will you please shut up.” (Much too late, I might add.)
9 If you have a hangover, do not try to step out of your typical passive role at the morning staff meeting. If you do, at best, you will scare everyone with your slurred and totally irrelevant comments. At worst, you might disagree with the boss and insist on your point, which has the effect of capitalizing on the death wish you have had ever since you bade farewell to the ceramic microphone at 3:00 AM this morning. (The sounds still ring in the ears.)
8 If you have a hangover, do not operate heavy machinery. If you do, at best, you may find yourself in a position of greatly apologizing for denting a car or building. At worst, you will have several people lining up in HR asking how their flattened vehicles will be replaced and several executives asking you for the keys to the equipment and your lawyer’s name. (I get that the brake and gas looked the same.)
7 If you have a hangover, do not write any notes to anyone explaining your actions last night. If you do, at best, you might feel better in confessing your sins. At worst, you will have given several people written confirmation as to why they need to avoid or punch you. (At least you have friends in low places.)
6 If you have a hangover, do not show up to teach your fifth-grade class. If you do, at best, you might make it to lunch without a complaint to the principal. At worst, you will be driven to the point where the EMS crew and police will attempt to talk you down from the roof of the school where unbeknownst to your conscious self, you have been screaming threats against Congress and the President. (hard to blame you for that.)
5 If you have a hangover, do not report to your airline pilot job. If you do, at best, you might forget something minor but survive anyway. At worst, you will discover a little too late you forgot to check the fuel level, and your attention is drawn to the bright blinking light on the control panel that has the words “Fuel Starvation” clearly embossed on it. (It means there is no more.)
4 If you have a hangover, do not go ahead with that brain surgery you are supposed to conduct today. If you do, at best, your attention will be on your own brain, and you will find it difficult to concentrate. At worst, you will think all is well right up to the point you close up the procedure only to discover the parts leftover that you can’t explain. (Unlike a bicycle kit, there are no extra parts in the brain.)
3 If you have a hangover, do not go to the grocery store to do your shopping for the week. If you do, at best, you will forget more items than you remember to buy. At worst, you will finally have had it with the cashier who asks you each week, “If you have found everything okay?” The fact that if you say no, she will not do anything about it has you treading on the conveyor shouting for the rest of the shoppers to lay down their groceries to join the revolution. (Incidentally, you don’t see the cautious community support officer in the corner calling 9-1-1.)
2 If you have a hangover, do not take your carpool duty today. If you do, at best, you will drop the kids and adjourn to the local bar for some hair of the dog, only leading to more trouble later. At worst, your driving will permanently imprint terror on the poor innocents in the car which they will suppress. (But go through life wondering why they never got a driver’s license.)
1 If you have a hangover, do not think you will be as effective in your writing as you usually are. If you do, at best, you might just produce a day’s work that would make great kindling for the evening fire. At worst, you may think you have a breakthrough on your writer’s block only to find you have included the words “Daddy’s Home” over two thousand times in your manuscript. (You can thank Thr Shining for that.)
Last week we rolled around and looked at those who covered their plants. This week I thought it would be interesting to look at the results of not covering the plants. Also, on a couple of occasions, the effects of protecting the plants.
We are being catered by The Peached Tortilla in Austin. Our entertainment is Meatloaf.
Menu
THAI CHOP CHOP SALAD
chopped napa, fried tofu, green apple, fried shallots, Thai vinaigrette, rice puffs, peanuts, Fresno chiles, watermelon radish, fish sauce caramel, herbs
BRISKET HASH
kimchi miso corn, sweet potatoes, Fresnos, onion jam, pasture-raised fried egg
ask your server for our vegetarian option
SHORT RIB BENEDICT Korean braised short rib, grilled ciabatta, kochukaru hollandaise
FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH Asian slaw, Japanese pickles, gochu glaze, easy tiger easy bun
served with Belgian fries
KOREAN STEAK & EGGS BOWL sous vide hanger steak, sunny side up eggs, kimchi, egg furikake, rice
AVOCADO TOAST
miso scallion creme fraiche, alfalfa sprouts, watermelon radish, lemon oil
served with greens tossed in yuzu vinaigrette, add soft scrambled pasture-raised eggs
All manner of things to drink.
Let’s go.
Our first stop is an unprotected cactus. Don’t know how you would protect it, but freezing temperatures create havoc.
Some cascading plants put in after the great freeze last year are toast again this year.
The ground cover takes a hit but will come back.
Last week I showed this expensive green cover. The next is a view of this week.
The cover did not work. Frost burn on the new plants.
A major hit, but expected to return.
The Carolina Jasmine is gone. This was from the big freeze last year.
The boxwoods have signs of frost burn.
The Viburnum growth has been affected. It should not hurt the plant.
A shot of blossoms from protected plants. (Producer photo)
A protected hanging basket.
I hope you enjoyed the tour and wish you a wonderful week. Sit back and enjoy the food and music. If you haven’t seen this video I would recommend it even though it is a little longer than most.
Another Saturday means thinking about the prompt that is due from Linda Hill. As I savored the aroma from the first cup of coffee, it occurred to me to check the front of the house once more. Last week there was a mountain of ice that had not only the prompt frozen against the front door but a lingering question on how the ice got there in the first place.
Thinking the whole situation was a figment of imagination, I looked at the Ring doorbell app on my phone. Sure enough, the mountain of ice was still there. Also, a prominent St Bernard dog was sitting patiently at the edge of the hill holding an envelope in its mouth.
I was forced to go out the back door since the front was frozen solid. Coming around the house, I discovered the reason for the mountain of ice. The hose attached to the faucet was doing the dance of the cobra while spewing water in all directions. I quickly calculated the value of a week’s worth of water running helter-skelter and made a mental note to contact the lending officer at the bank for a loan first thing Monday.
Getting the water turned off was challenging but accomplished. Next, it was time to address the dog.” Lovely doggy,” I said. “Snarl,” was his response. Bravely I took hold of the envelope, hoping he had the commands to release upon delivery. “Let go,” I said. His answer sounded like a muffled warning to take my hand away or lose it. “Fine, you win.”
As I turned away to go back inside, the big dog barked, and the envelope dropped from his mouth. Being quick of mind and certainly smarter than a dog, I grabbed the envelope. The dog seemed pleased that the delivery was made and trotted away.
Here is what was inside. Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “let go.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think, “let go.” Enjoy!
Today’s good news story is taken from the Good News Network about the sighting of a bird not typically seen in the US. Here’s the story in its entirety. Thanks to the Good News Network.
The Steller’s sea eagle. It’s ripped, royal, and rare. To see the world’s heaviest eagle, with its eight-foot wingspan, an American would typically have to visit Korea, Japan, or eastern Russia. Never had one of the sea eagles ever been spotted in the lower 48 states—until now.
Five days before Christmas, one of the majestic birds flew into Boothbay Harbor, Maine, and it’s pulling birdwatchers from all over the east coast to see it.
Members of the Massachusetts Audubon Society first spotted the raptor known for its huge golden bill.
NPR reports that the unique tail feather arrangement suggests this is the same bird that was spotted in summer in Canada and Alaska. Straying outside of its native range, it’s known as a “vagrant.”
As of January 16th, the wayward bird was still in Maine, having first been documented as a vagrant in Alaska’s Denali National Park, 4,700 miles away, in August.
The chance to see this eagle would normally involve a plane ride anywhere from 6-12 hours and a passport, so the bird’s appearance in the US is pulling amateur ornithologists from their nests in places like New Jersey for a spontaneous road trip known as “chasing.”
When a rare species, especially a rare vagrant, is spotted, intrepid birders chase reported sightings around the region using apps like eBird, or through various Facebook groups.
John Putrillo recently photographed this celebrity bird of prey. His Instagram, Manbythesea, is now filled with beautiful images showcasing its dark brown feathers and a bill that’s built to tear fish like salmon into bitesize pieces.
The eagle has given Putrillo a new passion: “I want to learn about all bird species now,” he says. “I want to find every bird I can from the smallest to the largest.”
The good news here is at least some of the bird watchers in this country have a chance to see this magnificent bird. Today’s JohnKu talks about the miracles of nature. I hope you have a great weekend.
Nature by John W. Howell
A vagrant or not,
The Steller’s Sea Eagle is . . .
Nature’s miracle.
I am at Story Empire today in case you want to come over. I’m talking about things you can do if the desire to write is missing. HERE is the link.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
“If I were truly an idiot, I would have no capacity to identify you.”
“Another minute, and I’m going to freeze to death.”
“State the nature of your business.”
“Once inside the house, I’m going to make a cup of tea and then konk you with my heavest pan.”
“Oh my goodness, my love, it’s you. Why didn’t you identify yourself?”
“After 30 years, I didn’t think I had to.”
“I can get that, but your voice was so shaky I couldn’t identify it.”
“Are you going to open the gate or not?”
“Love of my life, I pushed the button. It should have opened.”
“I-it’s n-not o-opening.”
“Give it a push.”
“N-not w-working.”
“Looks like I’ll have to get on my snow gear and come get you.”
“T-that w-would b-be n-nice.”
“One question, though.”
“S-shoot.”
“You still going to konk me?”
“O-of c-course n-not.”
“I’ll be right there.”
“C-can y-you s-still h-hear m-me? Hmmm silence. No, I’m not going to konk you. No, not me. Trust me, though. It will be a long time till this little episode is forgotten.”
“Did you say something, my dear? I was away from the receiver.”
This list was originally posted on August 18th, 2014. The inspiration came from standing in lines. I don’t think lines have gone out of style, so it may still be helpful.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Find Yourself Waiting Your Turn
10 If you are in line at a ferry, do not turn off your car. If you do, at best the minute you do, the line will start moving. At worst, your car won’t start, and the friendly folks behind you will figure out a way to heave your vehicle over the side of the access terminal into thirty feet of water. (I don’t think detailing is going to get those water spots out of the upholstery)
9. If you are in line at the pharmacy, do not try to eavesdrop on the confidential medical briefing of the person in front of you. If you do, at best, you may hear something that your ears won’t forgive. At worst, the store will hit you with a HIPPA violation and send you to the back of the line again. (Those dosage instructions just weren’t all that interesting.)
8. If you are in line at the ten items or less express checkout at the supermarket, do not comment on the twenty items the person ahead of you has just laid on the counter. If you do, at best, you will hear the old excuse, “Oh, I didn’t notice that this was ten items or less.” At worst, you will be savagely attacked by a seemingly quiet, unassuming person who (unbeknownst to you ) was just released from a psychiatric hospital due to the lack of funding. (It seems he has a problem with questions.)
7. If you are in line at a movie theatre, do not groan loudly when the person in front of you wants to know the movie’s rating. If you do, At best, you will need to suffer through other questions like, “How long does it run?” At worst, you will be faced with the spouse of the person in front of you wondering what your problem is and asking you kindly to cut them some slack. (The closed fist speaks pretty loudly)
6. If you are in line at a convenience store, do not make any comments about a person in front of you who wants to pick out a specific scratch-off Lotto ticket but can’t make up their mind. If you do, at best, you may have to try to logically explain your problem when asked. At worst, you will need to apologize for your impatience when you learn that the ticket is being purchased as a 60th wedding anniversary present. (Now you are unromantic as well.)
5. If you are in line at the bank, do not prompt the half-asleep person standing in front of you behind the wait here line that a teller is open. If you do, at best, a person may pop awake and think you are being fresh. At worst, the person will take offense since they were not paying attention and ask you something about “Where’s the fire?” (They also invite you to help ask the teller for all the money in the drawer.)
4. If you are in line at the doctor’s office, do not complain to the receptionist about how valuable you consider your time. If you do, At best, you will be waiting twice as long since the receptionist just had an argument with the doctor about how little she makes. At worst, the receptionist will somehow lose your place, and you will still be there when the doctor and the receptionist leave for the night. (They don’t dare to ask you to come back tomorrow.)
3. If you are waiting to be served at one of the hottest bars in town, do not wave at the bartender. If you do, at best, he will simply wave back and wait on others. At worst, the bartender will finally give you the old “What’ll you have.” He then tells you they don’t have it, and maybe they will across the street. (I think he has had it with folks who wave.)
2. If you are waiting to be seated in a trendy restaurant, do not think you will be seated without tipping the Matre D. If you do, At best, you will finally have to break down and either tip or go elsewhere. At worst, you will get a seat in the bar just as they are starting the fastest cigar smoker contest and there are twenty-four contestants all lighting up simultaneously. (You initially thought you wanted the smoked trout. Might want to change that.)
1. If you find yourself waiting in line at Starbucks, do not try to cut the line. If you do, at best, you will be chastised by the barista. At worst, your double decaf, soy, low foam latte will have a taste resembling something familiar but just not easily identified. (Do ask what that flavor is right now.)
The last three nights in Lakeway have seen temperature lows of 25 degrees F (-3.8 C). To protect plants that have problems with those low temperatures, the neighbors have used various covering methods. The reason for protecting these plants is that such low temperatures are rare, and the plants, once past this event, can continue to thrive all winter. We are going to go and see some of the methods. We are being catered by Perlas in Austin. Our entertainment is The Band Perry.
The espresso machine needs the dregs drawer emptied before making another cup. During the process, it occurred to me that this was Saturday, so I should be getting a prompt from Linda Hill’s blog. Waiting for my first cup had my mind spinning with the possibilities of what that prompt could be. Having a hot, steaming cup of joe in my hand while waiting would just be icing on the cake. Finally, it was ready, and my first instinct was to breathe in the vapors to capture that godlike aroma that only fresh brewed coffee can deliver.
The first sip had me looking out the back, anticipating a falling safe or an ACME rocket. Three more sips and nothing. It was time to go to the front. I checked the Ring camera, and there was no motion or anything else recorded. The image on my phone looked like it was taken underwater. Glancing at my watch gave me cause for concern. The prompt should have been here by now. Another sip, and I had to venture outside to double-check.
Opening the front door became a challenge in that the lock appeared to be frozen. First, a sip and then a hard pull to free the door. The door came open, and I was treated with a sheet of ice. A manila envelope and a cake were stuck to the ice, obviously placed against the door before the water froze. Speaking of water. Where did it all come from? Yes, the temperature was below freezing, but that did not explain all the ice.
Chipping the ice freed the envelope. I grabbed it, left the frozen cake, and slammed the door. Ripping the envelope open, I found a message. Here is what it said. “Your prompt for #JusJoJan and my very first birthday-Stream-of-Consciousness-Saturday is: “icing on the cake.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the phrase “icing on the cake.” Enjoy!” There was also a little party hat that said Happy Birthday, Linda Hill.
If you want to enjoy and wish Linda a Happy Birthday, visit her blog. Here is the link.
“So that was the first thing that came to mind? Frozen water on a cake?”
“I hate to say it but, yes.”
“Some have wondered about your thought process. So now I join them.”
“Why? What would you think of first.?”
“Birthday cake with frosting.”
“if the prompt was ‘frosting on the cake’ then I would agree.”
“It’s an idiom.”
“Who’s an idiot?”
“An idiom, you idiot.”
“Oh, what’s that?”
“A group of words with grouped usage that together mean something that the separate words do not convey.”
“You sound like a dictionary.”
“Thanks.”
“How about an example?”
“Well, take ‘Icing on the Cake.’ It means something added that makes things better. The cake is good and on its own would suffice but add some icing, and it’s perfect.”
“Icing makes my teeth hurt.”
“Okay, but you get the idea, right?”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“So why so literal with frozen water on cake?”
“I just thought it would be funny. Like describing lite beer as carbonated defrost.”
“Let’s stop there because I can build a segway with your last statement.”
“A transportation device?”
“No, an intro into a new subject as in ‘How bout you and I go and drink some beer?'”
“Great subject, and you got that off my carbonated defrost statement?”
