Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

“Watch that ice, Lucy.”
“Even though Mama made us a path it sure is slick”
“Wednesday is sure cold.”
“Yeah, Friday is supposed to be warmer.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week, well, all packed up and went to Pricilla Thomas’s office. We heard from a tech running some analysis on Stennis’s phone (Damn, is everyone’s name ending with an s in this story?) The tech promised to come right back, but as we know, techs seem to have attention issues like a bag of gummy worms from the canteen. Oh, wait. I must apologize to all techs here he comes now. Let’s get back to Pricilla’s office.

 

“It is good to see you return so quickly, Agent Moore.”

“Yes, Agent Thomas. I came as quickly as I had any results. Would you like a gummy worm?”

“No, thank you. What did you find out?”

“As I said, I did several—. “

“We can skip the background, Agent Thomas. Cut to the chase.”

“Yes, ma—, I mean yes, Agent Thomas. Here are three numbers that are associated with names that don’t exist.”

“What do you mean don’t exist?”

“I mean, the names led me to three separate burial plots in the Reno cemetery.”

“This tells us what?”

“The phone numbers in question were taken out with phony names.”

“Okay, let me be the dumb one. Who would need to get a phone number with a phony name? Why not just buy a burner phone.”

“I think I can add some detail to that.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“I believe whoever wanted to use these numbers wanted the person calling to think they were actually dealing with someone with an identity.”

“For what reason?”

“Well, I can think of one.”

“I will take one of those worms, hoping you’ll get to the point.”

“Sure, here you go. Let’s say you and I were doing some kind of deal. Let’s also say the deal wasn’t exactly legal.”

“Okay,”

“Let’s say to gain trust, you give someone a name and tell them to check you out.”

“I get it. So you make some inquiries, and the person appears to be who they say they are. Wait a minute. You were able to track these names back to the cemetery.”

“I was. The average person would be able to do that, too, but it would take a heck of a lot of resources. Most people don’t have access to the kinds of data I have.”

“Okay, so the person checks out and finds his contact is a real person. Why three.”

“I figure the other two are references. All three of these people were highly respected but relatively unknown. They did their jobs and left very little in the way of public information. In fact, when they died, very little was said. It would almost appear that they were still alive.”

“What did they do?”

“They were undertakers.”

“Undertakers?”

“Yeah, they worked for three separate funeral homes.”

“Stennis was talking to undertakers?”

“Well, I’m not certain he thought they were undertakers. I’m just saying they led a very low-key life, and if he only made calls to the other two, he would be satisfied the first was legitimate. I mean, if he did a google search on the names, little comes up.”

“Okay, so we have to assume Stennis was talking with these people, but we don’t know why.”

“Correct. However, I will be able to get a court order to do lawful interception of all the calls on these three phones. We will then have the conversations and can figure out what they are doing.”

“Any problem with the court order?”

“No, I don’t expect any. We have several murders and kidnappings and a person of interest. I think the facts will speak for themselves.”

“Any budget problems because I know the phone company’s charge for the service.”

“Nope. We’re good.”

“Okay, then let’s do it.”

“I’ll keep you informed. Normally in real life, this would take a few weeks to put in place, but I know you are in a hurry, so I’ll get right on it. Might have some information in a week.”

“I appreciate that. A week is just perfect.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #299 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.

The photo.

Buffet by John W. Howell © 2021

“Hold on, everyone.”

“I can’t see my feet.”

“Looks like they are running out of shrimp.”

“Did you honestly just sneeze?”

“Where’s the help around here.”

“All you can eat for a buck?”

“Harold, you said this was an exclusive place.”

“Has anyone seen my wing?”

“Chicken wing.”

“Nah, stupid. My wing.”

“Hey, you there. That’s my serving.”

“Get your foot outa of mine then.”

“Where’s the manager?”

“Right here under y’all.”

“I’m never coming back.”

“Don’t let the door smack ya where the good Lord cracked ya.”

“Waiter. Wheres my wine?”

“You are kidding, right?”

“Yeah, make it a birdbath.”

“Anybody want to swarm after the meal?”

“Excuse me, madam. Take your wings off me. I’m not your husband.”

“You sure look like him.”

“I’ve been told that a lot.”

“Who wants dessert?”

“Is it included?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“Suet paired with sunflower seeds.”

“Oh, yes, please.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Founding of the Postal Service in 1792. – Redo

Happy President’s Day.

Sunday was hectic getting ready for single-digit temperatures hitting our area. As a result, I simply did not have enough time to put together a Top Ten post. Hopefully, you will enjoy this one from February 18th, 2019. Also, I’m at Story Empire talking about prompts should you care to visit there as well.

Top Ten things not to do
Image by Matthew T. Rader – Unsplash

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical backdrop. This week marks the anniversary of the founding of the postal service in 1792. If you have access to a time travel machine, please take this list with you should you land in 1792. It might help avoid some embarrassment if you end up at the first post office.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Founding of the Postal Service in 1792.

10 If you are at the founding of the Postal Service, do not ask for a roll of stamps. If you do, at best the clerk will be confused. At worst, they will think you are joking with a Federal employee. (Since stamps were not introduced until 1847, you are now involved in a controversy, Greggory. Fooling with a Federal Employee carries a $100.00 fine and ten days in jail or both.)

9 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not yell at Tiny the WWF champ who is working at the postal service to pay off his assault and battery fine. If you do, at best Tiny will have taken his medication. At worst, Tiny is the first recorded episode of an employee “going postal.” (Now you’ve done it, Gregos. You’ve been the reason for the creation of a whole new verb. Countless Postal employees will curse your name from this time on.)

8 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not lie to the clerk about the contents of your package. If you do, at best no one will be any the wiser. At worst, your package has been randomly chosen for inspection. (Funny how those twelve unpaid for letters got into that shipment of socks isn’t it? Grigory? You’ll need a bag of pence to rectify this situation.)

7 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not mark your package fragile. If you do, at best it will be handled carefully. At worst, the word will be a challenge to all handlers to see how well you packed your item. (I guess the recipient of your package was quite surprised to receive a present of ground glass for their birthday, Gualtiero. You could tell them that it is a do it yourself crystal vase hobby kit.)

6 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not mark your letter “air mail.” If you do, at best the clerk will think you have nothing in the envelope. At worst, your letter will end up on Ben Franklin’s desk since it is assumed his experiments with kites have something to do with your correspondence. (In this case, Gunny your private love note has been published in the Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper to the delight of hundreds. Good thing you didn’t sign it.)

5 if you are at the founding of the postal service, do not ring that little bell under the sign that says ‘ring bell for service.’ If you do, at best no one will come anyway. At worst, you’ll be facing a clerk who was just having a sandwich in the back. (That white linen envelope you carefully picked out to deliver your valentine is now decorated with a mustard thumbprint, Gustavus. Best not say anything.)

4 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not stare at the person looking at all the fugitive wanted posters. If you do, at best they are only curious. At worst, they are wanted for robbery and murder and are checking to see if there are any posters on them. (Try to look away quickly, Gwallter. Making eye contact with that person will be hazardous to your health. Oops too late.)

3 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not take the quill pen at the desk. If you do, at best you can call it an accident. At worst, the clerk will alert the sheriff that you have stolen government property. (What a beautiful mess. If only there had been a chain on that quill, Gwernach. Oh well, ten years at hard labor will pass quickly.)

2 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not moan out loud at the unusually long time it seems to take to serve the ten patrons in line ahead of you. If you do, at best everyone will think you have a toothache. At worst, your displeasure will be met with increased slowness on the part of the patrons and clerk. (The guy at the counter is asking the clerk for directions to Plymouth for heaven’s sake. You should have kept quiet, Gwyn.)

1 If you are at the founding of the postal service, do not attempt to mail an oversized package. If you do, at best the clerk will tell you to go away. At worst, you will be advised to read the rules and regulations of acceptable package dimensions. (If you are incredibly unlucky, Gavin the clerk will read you the rules word for word. That is payback for the person who moaned behind you.)

Views of the neighborhood – First Signs of Spring

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I started out this week setting up a tour of the first signs of spring. The temps were in the high 60s, and I thought we would have another outdoor gathering. Well, Mother Nature fooled me. So this week, we will have to stay on the bus since the temperature is 25 degrees F (-3.8 C)

This calls for some real stick to the ribs kind of serving. For an appetizer, well have bacon-wrapped pepper poppers, potstickers with hot dipping sauce, and Miso soup. The main course is a choice of two. The first is old fashioned pot roast, oven browned potatoes, and candied carrots in brown gravy. The second is board carved seasoned turkey breast, mashed Yukon gold garlic potatoes, garden peas, savory gravy, and cranberry relish.  We have hot apple pie with whipped cream or hot chocolate souffle with brandy sauce for dessert.  Our wine selection is a 2018 Aubert Pinot Noir Sonoma Coast UV Vineyard for the red and a 2019 Invivo Sauvignon Blanc Marlborough X, Sarah Jessica Parker. Of course, all our top-shelf liquors are available.

Today’s entertainment is Meat Loaf.

So get on the bus, and off we go.

This will explain how come the original plan had to be altered. I think we were in the Spring of Deception and now in Third Winter.

Views of the neighborhood

We started out taking a look at some baby Bluebonnets.

Then to blooming Jasmine.

Cute little vincas

Views of the Neighborhood

Then came the rain and freezing temperatures.

Views of the Neighborhood

Mr. Fox is not pleased.

Views of the Neighborhood

The olive tree and mountain laurel in the backyard

Close-up of the mountain laurel.

Ice-covered tree.

Back to the ice-covered jasmine.

Some junipers in trouble

Broken juniper.

The junipers seem to have had the most challenging time with ice. Here’s another.

Since today is Valentine’s Day, how about heart covered boxer shorts.

The first sign of spring is what we call myrtle murder, where the crape myrtles are severely trimmed. Here are three victims.

Well, that does the tour of ice land. Our temperatures are to stay in the high 20’s. Monday morning is forecasted to be 7 F (-13.8 C) degrees. We are not in Canada or Michigan, folks. We can’t handle this stuff. Enough of my complaints. Stay and have more food and listen to Meat Loaf.

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – prompt – Above/Below

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and here comes Linda Hill with a small package.

“Hey, Linda.”

“Hey, John. Here’s your prompt for this week.”

“Small box.”

“Small prompt. See ya.”

“Thanks, Linda. Well, let me open the box and see what we have. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “above/below.” Use one, use both, use ’em however they inspire you. Bonus points if you use them both. Enjoy!”

If you would like to have fun and enjoy, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to join in. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2021/02/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-13-2021/

Above/Below by John W. Howell © 2021

“The sky above and the Earth below.”

“What are we doing?”

“I’m creating a poem.”

“What’s it about?”

“The sky and Earth.”

“I got that part; how about the rest?”

“Not sure.”

“What do you mean, not sure?”

“I only have the first line, “The sky above the Earth below.”

“Do you mind if I add to it?”

“No, go ahead.”

“The row ahead, I gotta sow.”

“Hmm. Not sure that’s where I wanted to go.”

“The wind around is starting to blow.”

“I think you are touching on it, you know.”

“The river beside me continues to flow.”

“Now you are rhyming just like a pro.”

“The temperature’s falling, and it’s starting to snow.”

“Your skill is terrific, and mine is so low.”

“Spring will be soon, and things will grow.”

“For this great poem a debt to you I owe.”

“At last, our travels lead us to this plateau.”

“Wait, keep going, and I’ll pay you some dough.”

“Alas, my mind is tired, and we must end this tableau.”

“I’m thinking of a treat you might not want to forgo.”

“Not sure there is anything that is quite apropos.”

“I have in my mind a big treat by the name of merlot.”

“The lure of the grape has no hold which I had to outgrow.”

“Well, then I suggest a new friend, beer, just say hello.”

“I have met Mr. Beer, and our friendship is definitely not nouveau.”

“Let’s stop all this rhyming and go where we can become all aglow.”

“I happen to know a spot that would be perfect.”

“I’m so gal you stopped rhyming.”

“You actually threw off my timing.”

“Stop now.”

“But how?”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

 

“Looks like another cold one, Lucy.”
“Yup, Little one. Another fly the couch day.”

Friday’s here and we are calling it Freez Day. We have temps no higher than the 30s until Wednesday with projections for nighttime temps in the teens or lower. On top of everything they are saying up to 4 inches of snow. As I write this, there is thunder and lightning with rain.

There have been countless accidents on the freeways. In Dallas there was a 100 car pile up. Here in Austin there is a 25 car mess which has the freeway blocked.

Needless to say we are not prepared for this kind of mayhem. The protracted temperatures below freezing will no doubt cause water pipes to burst so that will be another problem for folks.

There is not much we can do about the weather. I would say. “I guess we will stay home,” but that’s what we have been doing since last March.

Today’s John Ku talks about the weather. I hope you all have a super weekend.

The Weather by John W. Howell © 2021

Sometimes the weather,

Makes us feel something is wrong . . .

Then it seems so right.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy Stay Inside.

Lucy and Twiggy

“How about it, Little One. Want to go outside?”

“Let’s check the temperature first. Hey Dad, what’s the temp outside?”

“Let’s see. Right now, it’s 41 degrees Fahrenheit, which is 5 degrees Celsius. The high today will be 43 F (6.1 C) The low tonight is 34 F (1.1 C). Want to know what the market is doing?”

“No thanks, Dad. We have enough information.”

“Boy, he loves to go on, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, well, you know how humans are.”

“So back to the original question. Want to go out?”

“You’re kidding, right? It is 41 degrees out there. Nothing good happens in 41 degrees.”

“You know there are dogs all over the world who go out in below zero weather and snow.”

“Yeah, well, they don’t live with me.”

“Should we ask if there is better weather tomorrow, Lucy?”

“We should ask tomorrow. I saw the weather forecast, and it doesn’t look good. Besides, I don’t want to get dad wound up again.”

“So what toy should we play with inside, Little one?”

“I think the tuggy toy is just sitting there waiting for us.”

 

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

“It is still Wednesday, Little One.”
“I see that, Lucy. Looks like a nice day to relax.”
“You feeling okay? Normally you can’t wait until Friday.”
“I guess I’m getting more mature.”

 

It is Wednesday Storytime again, and last week, we heard Larry wrap up his feelings about the situation. Long story short, he doesn’t trust anyone. Pricilla has decided to move to her office, and she is taking Larry and Andrew with her. We all noted that she wanted to say goodbye to Mayfield before leaving. I don’t know about you, but the bells of St Mary’s went off in my head. I see our group has arrived at Pricilla’s office, so I think we better get there and see what is going on.

 

“You guys make yourself at home. As you can see, this office is big enough for three people.”

“The perks of the office.”

“Let’s set up here at the conference table so we can spread out. I’m going to have my tech come in and tells us what he has been able to find out.”

“So he is trying to figure out how to tell if Stennis has called any of Cortez’s men.”

“That is correct. Also, he can update us on what kind of calls Stennis is making now since we have him monitored.”

“Okay then. That should be interesting.”

“While we are waiting, I had an opportunity to review the circumstances around the so-called accidental death of Alexis Rafferty. I wonder why the city DA didn’t look into that closer?”

“We think he works for Cortez.”

“Yeah, makes sense. And you think that your Sandusky case and Rafferty’s murder are linked.”

“Like a fence, Pricilla,”

“In reality, jurisdiction for this case is really mine.”

“How do you figure?”

“If Janis Rafferty and her boyfriend.”

“Ned Dixon.”

“Yes, Ned Dixon. If they were involved, then they crossed state lines to commit a felony. A federal offense. Since the murder was done here in Nevada, in my area, it is up to me to bring it to justice.”

“I guess I see your point. What about Sandusky?”

“Well, if Cortez is responsible, that will wrap that case too.”

“All things lead to Cortez and being able to get lazar to testify against him.”

“That is about the size of it, Larry. The tech is in the outer office. Let me bring him in. This is agent Moore. Agent, meet Larry Dunfee and Andrew Cummings from the Boston’s police department.”

“A pleasure meeting you, gentleman. You can call me Mike.”

“Our pleasure to Mike.”

“Okay, now that we know each other, what have you found out about Stennis’s phone, agent?”

“First of all, I’m glad for the computer age.”

“How so.”

“I had to run so many permutations to sort out and eliminate the phone numbers called that without a computer, it would have taken a year to find out what I know now.”

“Fascinating. Why not tell us what you know.”

“I ran all of the call records for the past year and cross-referenced the numbers called with public records.”

“What did you find out?”

“Everyone that Stennis called has a phone number. All the phone numbers belong to someone who is searchable.”

“So the next step is to do a search on the people.”

“Yes. I need to run a cross-check to make sure all the numbers belong to real people. I set up an “if/then” program.”

“If/then?”

“Yes, I query the database for a home address and then cross-check with available stats. The if/then is if they have an address, then I query the property tax base. If there’s a match on the record, then the program confirms the hypothesis that it is a real person.”

“If not?”

“Then that is in all probability a phony name, and we can do more searching on the number.”

“How long will that take?”

“Should be done by now. I’ll go look.”

“Great. Come right back, okay.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Agent Thomas would be good.”

“Yes, Agent Thomas. Be right back.”

“Wow, he sounds like he knows what he is doing.”

“He does, Larry. He does.”

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue 298 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo

Kreative Kue #298

Snow Day by John W. Howell © 2021

“Trevor. Oh, Trevor.”

“Over here, boss.”

“Over where? I can hear you I can’t see you, though.”

“By the hedgerow. Near the post.”

“There you are. What on Earth?”

“What on Earth indeed.”

“What happened?”

“I was minding my own business on the scent trail of that pesky skunk and all of a sudden I found myself stuck.”

“Can’t you back out?”

“That’s just it. I tried backing out but the snow clumped up on my behind and I got stuck.”

“It looks pretty free now.”

“Yeah, cause I started rocking back and forth to make room.”

“What stopped you then?”

“The skunk.”

“The skunk? How could the skunk stop you?”

“He came over and said he could get me out.”

“Your sworn enemy offered to help you?”

“Well, he said he could get me out if I made him a promise.”

“Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.”

“Tell me about it. He wanted me to promise never to chase him again.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him I could never make a promise like that.”

“What’d he do.”

“Walked away. So, now, can you get me out?”

“Sure but I need you to make me a promise.”

“What promise?”

“To never chase that skunk again.”

“Here we go again. I could never make that promise.”

“Well, this snow should be gone in a week or two.”

“Okay, okay. I promise not to chase the skunk again.”

“Repeat after me. And if I do.”

“And if I do.”

“I’ll sleep in the barn until the smell goes away.”

“Gee. I kinda like the smell.”

“Say it or stay here till spring.”

“I’ll sleep in the barn until the smell goes away.”

“Okay, I have you.”

“Thanks, boss. By the way, I had my paws crossed.”

“And I’m the only one who can open doors to let you in the house.”

“Yeah, good point.”

 

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do at The First Trainload of Oranges to Leave Los Angles in 1886

Wikipedia Image

 

This week marks the 135th anniversary of the first trainload of oranges to leave Los Angles for Eastern markets in 1886. The town of LA only had 11,000 inhabitants when the oranges were shipped. Mostly farmers and workers on farms tending the massive orchards around the city. We can’t pass up the opportunity to go west again when LA was young. This time we need to take a look at the agricultural side of things. As usual, we need to take our list of things not to do so that we don’t cause a problem in the time continuum. Let’s all get in James’s Oldsmobile. I call shotgun.

James Wainwright’s 1956 Oldsmobile from Eternal Road – The final stop. You should read this one on Amazon. Just click the car to go there. Hurry back.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at The First Trainload of Oranges to Leave Los Angles in 1886

by John W. Howell © 2021

10 If you go, do not show your “Save the Colorado River” shirt. If you do, at best, you’ll get a quizzical look. At worst, one of the farmers will ask you what it means. (You see, Manawydan in the 1880s irrigation was mostly tapped from the hills. It wasn’t until 1941 that the Colorado River Viaduct routed water to LA from the Parker Dam 250 miles away. So right now, there are no arguments about water from the river. That farmer looks like he likes you.)

9 If you go, do not ask Tiny, the WWF champ, if you can have an orange. If you do, at best, Tiny won’t be listening. At worst, Tiny will think you are trying to steal oranges. (Tiny was told by the bosses to be on the lookout for orange rustlers, Manfried. He was told to show no mercy. This, coupled with Tiny’s sociopath tendencies, means you will experience Tiny’s famous drop hold. Yeah, that’s a drop like in fall for ten feet. Maybe the concrete isn’t the best landing spot.)

8 If you go, do not sing Carol King’s song about the Earth moving under your feet. If you do, at best, everyone will be watching the oranges being loaded. At worst, the local sheriff will wonder what you are trying to accomplish. (Earthquakes have been recorded in the Los Angles area as early as 1812 in the Ventura area. These guys don’t take moving Earth Lightly, Manley. I think the Sheriff wants to talk to you.)

7 If you go, do not mention frozen or orange juice in a can. If you do, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worst, you’ll be overheard by a farmer. (Now you’ve done it, Mannie. Orange juice was first canned in the 1920s as a way to take up the slack posed by too much fruit being grown. As fresh fruit ages, its taste begins to deteriorate. It was thought by canning it, the abundant stocks could be saved and sold. You have to hope the guy you told is the one who came up with the idea. Otherwise, you have altered the time continuum.)

6. If you go, do not ask for a screwdriver. If you do, at best, you’ll get a tool. At worst, you will be asked to explain what you mean. (Given that Los Angles has plenty of oranges, Manny it seems natural that a little vodka could be added. Unfortunately for you, such a drink was not invented until the late 40s. Two stories exist about that invention. The first story is that American oil workers living in Saudi Arabia would add vodka to their orange juice and stir it with a screwdriver since spoons were in short supply. The second story is U.S. Marines came up with the drink and named it. In any case, you are way ahead of your time.)

5 If you go, do not suggest making orange sherbet. If you do, at best, no one will hear you. At worst, the entire crew will enthusiastically ask you to do it. (The use of ice and salt to enhance the making of frozen deserts came to America in the 18th century, Manolito. Orange sherbet is a natural. Get some ice, salt, milk, sugar, vanilla, and fresh orange juice, and you have it made. Of course, there is the arm breaking cranking of the ice cream machine. We’ll see you later.)

4 If you go, do not offer to go with the oranges to New York City. If you do, at best, you’ll be laughed out of the county. At worst, someone will let you get in a car. (I hope you have plenty of provisions Mansfield. It will take over three weeks for a freight train to make the trip. An express passenger trip can be made in 84 hours via the new Transcontinental line.)

3 If you go, do not ask the farmers about Florida oranges. If you do, at best, the tractor noise will drown out your question. At worse, the biggest farmer will hear you. (Since the beginning of time, Manuelo, there has been a rivalry between Florida and California. You now will see how the big Californian Farmer feels about his oranges.)

2 If you go, do not take bets on how many pounds of oranges will be produced in 2021. If you do, at best, everyone will think you have lost your head. At worst, you’ll have no way to pay the bet since it will be 135 years in the future. (Be that as it may, Manvil. If someone guessed 25 billion pounds, they are a winner. I think you should give everyone their money back.)

1 If you go, do not argue with anyone about the original source of the sweet orange. If you do, at best, they won’t care. At worst, you will argue with someone who wants to win. (The original source for the sweet orange was China, Manzo. They were brought to America in the 1500s by the Spanish explorers. You need to go and offer that guy who is sharpening his knife an apology since that was his position. Yeah, maybe you ought to let him coll off a while. Here have an orange.)