Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #260 by Keith Channing

April 28, 2020April 27, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #260

“Hey, Roy. How do you do that?”

“What?”

“Move on the water.”

“Oh, that. I got this new thingy.”

“New thingy? What’s it called?”

“Moo Mover Handbasket.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nah. it’s the latest thing.”

“How does it work?”

“You stand on a board and aim it with your feet.”

“Wow. Who would have thought?”

“Guy Dinkus.”

“Who?”

“The human who invented it. He got tired of slow-moving Moos, so he made this.”

“Does it work on land?”

“That’s what it was developed to do. I’m just using it for fun here in the lake.”

“Where’s the rest of your Moo members.”

“They went off with Guy.”

“Where’d they go?”

“Not sure.”

“How long ago?”

“Ten days.”

“Roy?”

“What?”

“You think Guy did something bad with them?”

“Like what?”

“I heard tell of a place called the abattoir.”

“Abattoir? What the heck is that?”

“It is the Moo equivalent of hell.”

“What goes on there.”

“Moos come in and then come out in little white packages.”

“Goodness, I hope not, but I have an uneasy feeling.”

“Why’s that?”

“The last thing I heard Guy say as we hit the road.”

“By the way. Why aren’t you with the Moo Members?”

“I was but took a wrong turn. Guy never missed me.”

“Okay, so what did he say as you hit the road?”

“Saddle up, ladies. We’re going to hell in a handbasket.”

“You dog.”

“Make that you, Moo. Hahahaha.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Mutiny on the Bounty in 1789

April 27, 2020April 26, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

This week marks the 231st anniversary of the mutiny on the Bounty in 1789. We all want to go there to see how close the actual event was to the various movies and books written about it. Of course, you will want to bring this list with you. Hopefully, it will prevent any mistakes that could put a tear in the time continuum. Hop on the time train and let’s go.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Mutiny on the Bounty in 1789.

10 If you are there, do not ask Lieutenant Bligh why he doesn’t have a captain’s rank. If you do, at best, he will be distracted. At worse, you will remind him that he took a significant cut in pay to take command of the Bounty. You see, Luke, Bligh was captain of the Britannia, a merchant’s vessel. He was earning £500 (about $95,000 US today) a year and was only paid £71 (about $12,000 US today) to command the Bounty. He took the assignment since it was better than being assigned to shore which would have meant a 50% pay cut. He also mentioned that you will enjoy meeting his cat with nine tails or something like that)

9 If you are there, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if he would like to take your place in the longboat being launched with Bligh and his loyalists on board. If you do, at best, Tiny will think you are joking. At worst, Tiny, who just declared himself loyal to Fletcher Christian, will want to keep you quiet. (Tiny does not wish for his shipmates to question his loyalty, Logan. I think you are in for a brief flight that will end up with you in the water.)

8 If you are there, do not tell John Fryer, the sailing master, that he reminds you of Jack Sparrow. If you do, at best, he won’t hear you. At worst, John will want to know who Jack Sparrow is. (if you tell him Jack is a pirate in the movies, Lee you just know this won’t go well.)

7 If you are there, do not laugh out loud when you hear that the cargo is breadfruit trees. If you do, at best the crew will think you are odd. At worst, you will bring to light the folly of the original mission. (The breadfruit trees were to be transported to the West Indies from Tahiti. There they were to be planted, and their fruit used to feed slaves. Right now, a bunch of the crew seems to think you may know something, Landon. You don’t want to lead this mutiny.)

6 If you are there, do not criticize the crew for their handling of Bligh. If you do, at best they will think you a softy. At worst, they will think you are siding with Bligh. (It looks like you are going to join the other 19 in the launch, Louis. I think I would try to talk them out of putting you in there since your presence might be the one too many that will tip the boat in a rough sea. The 19 have it dangerously overloaded as it is.)

5 If you are there, do not argue with the mutineers about weather to head for Tahiti or Pitcairn island to hide out. If you do, at best they will think you are joking. At worst, you will be considered a pain and be given another choice. (You see, Leon it was decided to let those off in Tahiti who wanted to be there and the rest to proceed to try and find Pitcairn island which was discovered in 1765 but never documented as to its exact location. So each man has a choice of where to be. Looks like your third choice is to wear a sounding plummet (weight) around your neck when you take a walk on water.)

4 If you are there and decide to stay on till Pitcairn island, do not ask any of the 14 Tahitian women kidnapped by Christian can go out on a date with you. If you do, at best, they will think you are drunk. At worst, the 6 Tahitian men and eight mutineers who have a relationship with them may take offense. (Nothing like hitting on the girlfriend of Fletcher Christian Lewis. I hear he is looking for you, and he is carrying two cutlasses. I’ll bet one is for you.)

3 If you are there, do not tell the mutineers what you know about how those on Tahiti turned out. If you do, at best they won’t believe you. At worst, they will think you are an agent of the crown. (You see Leonardo, all 14 of the mutineers were captured and place on the prison ship Pandora. The ship ran aground, and four of the mutineers drowned. The remaining ten were transported bound hand and foot to England for trial. Looks like they want to see you swim to England.)

2 If you are there, also do not tell those on Pitcairn Island how they turned out. If you do, at best, they will think you are telling a fictional story. At worse, they will think you are a sorcerer. (All but two of the mutineers (including Fletcher Christian) were killed. The last two; Young and Adams, took care of the women and 19 children until Young died in 1800 and Adams in 1829. Descendants of the mutineers still live there. You think anyone will believe that, Lamar?)

1 If you are there, do not tell the mutineers how Bligh turned out. If you do, at best no one will care. At worst, they will think you are telling a cruel joke. (Bligh went on to serve as captain of more English ships, and Bligh was promoted to rear-admiral in 1811 and Vice-Admiral in 1814. The good news for the mutineers would be he was not offered further naval appointments after being appointed to Vice-Admiral. Let’s hope the good news allows you to keep your head, Lane.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Humanity Part Two

April 26, 2020April 25, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

Our walk in the neighborhood turned up evidence that we humans have a sense of caring for one another. An anonymous person or persons left messages of hope throughout the Hamilton Greenbelt. This is the second of two parts since there were too many photos for one post. If you missed last week’s post, HERE is a link.

Views of the Neighborhood

The entrance to the Greenbelt.

Views of the Neighborhood

Our next sign. Yes, we are in this together.

An excellent place to dump your worries.

The answer just might be, “Yes.”

I just had to take a shot of the Lillie pads.

Hello and good-bye.

Waterfall.

Spillway. The sound here is fantastic.

Something we all need more of these days.

A hug and a kiss would be welcome too.

I like the little “Connect,” pointing to “Grateful.” Let’s hope when we can connect, we will be grateful.

Views of the Neighborhood

Here it is the end of our walk. I hope you all have a super week. Thanks for coming with me today.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Val”

April 25, 2020April 27, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and here is Linda Hill to explain the prompt for this week.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “val.” Find a word that starts with “val” or if you’re not doing the A to Z Challenge, find a word that just has “val” in it, and use that word any way you’d like. Enjoy!” Thank you, Linda. I always like the wish of “enjoy” at the end. Since I’m not doing the A to Z challenge, I need to find a word with “val” in it. So, there we have it. If you would like to have some fun, go, visit Linda’s blog and read up on how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 25/2020

Val by John W. Howell @ 2020

“You look a bit puzzled. Wait! It’s Saturday. I forgot.I’ll see you around. I need to reevaluate getting involved.”

“Don’t go. There is no one who can outrival your brainpower.”

“Oh, come on now. This from one who undervalues most of my contributions to your Hill obsession.”

“Well, this time is different. I’m not ambivalent about your ability to help.”

“Okay, you had me at unrivaled. So how can I help?”

“We need to use a word that has “val” in it. I want to use words that have “val” in a prevalent position in the center of the word.”

“Sounds real easy to me. I don’t mean to sound cavalier, but what’s so hard? Go to the internet and look up words with “val” in them.”

“No, that would be cheating. I have to pull the words out of my undervalued brain.”

“Do you want me to suggest a few, then you can evaluate whether or not you want to use them.”

“I guess that would be okay. That mighty chivalrous of you.”

“Oh, please. It’s better than having to care for you as you convalesce from a nervous breakdown.”

“You would do that? Spend intervals of time taking care of me?”

“I think I’m almost sorry I said that. Let me invalidate what I said.”

“I don’t know, I think it is too late. I look upon you as the cavalry.”

“Yeah, well, quit it. I’ll give you a few words and then like the survivalist that I am will be off.”

“I think I won’t need any more words. Our conversation is the equivalent of a post.”

“I don’t believe it. No avalanching emotions?”

“Nope, we are done. You ave served with valor.”

“Okay then.I’m going to hit the Cavalcade Bar. Want to come?”

“I could use a festival right now. Thanks.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

April 24, 2020April 23, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 86 Comments

“You know I’m going to miss this old grass.”
“Please. The new is so much better.”
“We have a lot of memories together.”
“You’re killing me.”

Here we are rounding third base heading for home on the week. The weekend is almost upon us. It might be a good time to change into something more comfortable and relax. (Hahahaha. quarantine humor ) I don’t know about you, but I’m having a difficult time selecting something to wear. It doesn’t make sense to spend time on putting on something no one, but your cellmate will see. So the choices boil down to shorts and a t-shirt. I do get a different color for each day. I know, I know a bit OCD of me. Let’s put it this way; if I didn’t select a different color each day after a week, I would have to burn what I wore the last seven days. So my color choices are a rotation device. How did I get on this subject anyway?

If you have stopped by on Thursday, you know that the new grass installation has begun. We are replacing St. Augustine with Zorro Zoysia. We need a lawn that will stand up to the thundering paws of Lucy and Twiggy. We also need some shade tolerance and grass that can sustain a certain level of minimum watering. St Augustine is none of the things. We had counted on our landscaper to install something to meet our needs, but he chose the wrong grass. He is replacing the severely damaged part, but we are buying the new sod needed to complete the yard. It didn’t make sense to have two types of grass or fair to make him pay for the part that is somewhat okay.

I still have concerns about opening the economy too soon. I can understand the need to get the country back to work, but I hope folks have learned a self-protection process and will follow it. There is so little we know about the spread of COVID-19, and no widespread testing available, I think it will be up to the individual to stay safe. Today’s JohnKu talks about individual responsibility. I hope you all have a super weekend.

We need protection,
From those supposed leaders . . .
Make our own choices.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy’s New Grass

April 23, 2020April 22, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 90 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy

“My goodness. There is still dirt here.”

“What Lucy? I can’t hear you.”

“I said there is still dirt by the patio stones.”

“Hold on, I want to see.”

“Okay, go look.”

“Is there a problem with having dirt there?”

“No, it just doesn’t look perfect.”

“The guys aren’t finished with the grass yet, are they?”

“No, there is a whole area that still needs to be done.”

“Well, I’m sure they will get it when they come back.”

“Yeah, I think you are right. We need to avoid it in the meantime.”

“You hear that?”

“Hear what? I didn’t hear anything.”

“I think there is something behind the fence.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“I’m going to stand by in case there is a need to put up a warning.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and bark your head off. You know you want to.”

“I need to save those barks for an emergency. You know there are still wild animals out there.”

“I’m going inside. Stay on guard Gunga Din.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

April 22, 2020April 21, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we saw Andrew and Larry stop for coffee (uh….never mind), and sure enough, a couple of hoods decided to take them out. One went out the back door, and Larry nailed the other with a clean shot to the eye. I see the police have pulled up in front of the Starbucks and are treating the scene as a hostage stand off situation. I guess we better go there and see if we can do anything to help. Wait! Who am I kidding? We are in the audience and can only watch. Let’s go anyway. It might be interesting to see how our heroes get out of this one.

“THIS IS THE RENO POLICE DEPARTMENT. THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR FURTHER VIOLENCE. WE JUST WANT TO TALK. DO YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE? IF SO SHOUT OUT THE NUMBER AND WE’LL GIVE YOU A CALL.”

“Man, that is some bull horn.”

“Those guys think we are holding hostages, Larry.”

“What makes them think that?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ll bet Spencer the ass Taggett has something to do with it.”

“When you called 9-1-1, what did you say?”

“I told the dispatcher that there were two gunmen shooting up the place.”

“Uh-huh. Did she ask you to stay on the line?”

“No. She just said officers are on the way.”

“Did she take your name?”

“Can you believe it, no.”

“Okay, so all she knows is we may be the two gunmen.”

“I guess that covers it.”

“I think we ought to respond to those guys out there before they storm the place.”

“Yeah, the hostage protocol is such that they won’t storm the place until they are sure none of the hostages will get hurt.”

“Sop like if we give up?”

“or shoot ourselves.”

“You can forget the last one. Okay, let me shout to our friends out there.”

“Hey, officers.”

“WE ARE HERE.”

“That is some bull horn.”

“ALL THE BETTER TO BE HEARD.”

“I guess you can hear me then.”

“WALL TO WALL. WHY NOT LET THE PATRONS GO, AND WE CAN HAVE A CHAT?”

“There are no patrons. Just Barista Bob.”

“I’m fine by the way, officer.”

“Thanks, Bob. My name is Larry Dunfee, and I am a detective with the Boston police department.”

“DO YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE?”

“Yes, the number is 617-555-1212.”

“OKAY, GOT IT. CALLING YOU NOW.”

“Yes, hello, officer.”

“It is Lieutenant Mayfield with the Reno SWAT rescue unit.”

“Nice to meet you, Lieutenant. As I said Larry Dunfee, a detective with the Boston Police department.”

“So why would a member of the Boston Police Department take hostages?”

“There must be a mistake, Lieutenant. We were shot at by two gunmen. One is in here now.”

“You holding him hostage as well?”

“No lieutenant, he’s dead. He and his UZI are lying on the floor here.”

“So that I understand. You have killed one of the hostages?”

“Sheese lieutenant. How can I get through to you that we aren’t holding anyone hostage? We’ll come out with our hands up, and then you can see what’s going on here.”

“Uh, Larry?”

“What Andrew? Hold on, Lieutenant. I’m putting you on mute.”

“How do we know they won’t shoot us. I don’t trust that Taggett isn’t behind this whole thing.”

“Good point. How about if we wait for some news reporters. Be hard to shoot us with witnesses.”

“Worth a try.”

“Hello, Lieutenant?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Any reporters out there.”

“You want a grand finish? Is that it?”

“No offense, but we don’t exactly trust the situation right now. We were the ones under attack, and you seem hell bet to believe we are holding hostages here.”

“I only know what dispatch told me.”

“How about you get on the phone and explain who we are and that there has been a mix-up. Then when reporters get here, we will give ourselves up, and you’ll be a hero.”

“Not sure I believe your scenario, but I will make the call. By the way, the reporters are about a half-mile from this place. We don’t want any of them to get hurt.”

“Oh, that just swell Lieutenant. Just swell.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #259 by Keith Channing

April 21, 2020April 20, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #259

“Ladies and gentlemen. We want to welcome you to our main event tonight. This is a special charity auction to raise funds for the Evergreen Project. For those the few of you who aren’t familiar, the Evergreen Project has as it’s mission to restore the Earth back to a pristine condition that existed prior to the 1800s. Oh, I know. It is a very aggressive goal but that’s not to say it won’t be achieved. It will be people like you who support efforts like this that will make the difference. Tonight we hope to raise ten trillion dollars and coupled with other auctions already held, will bring the total war chest to one-hundred trillion. Yes, that’s right that is trillion with a T. Now unless there are any questions I think we can get started.

Our first item up for a teaser bid to get you in the mood is this beautiful piece of art titled Moon Over Miami. It has been rendered in canvas and oil by the internationally known artist, Keith Channing. I would like to open the bid for twenty million. Do I hear twenty? Yes, sir thank you. How about twenty-five. Thank you, Miss. Now thirty. Yes, sir thank you. Thirty-five? Thank you, Miss. Forty? Do I hear forty? Going once. Going twice. Sold to number 10 for Thirty-five million. Thank you all.

The next item up for bid is Burmuda. This lovely Island can be yours at a very special rate. As a reminder, if you do win the bid for Burmuda it is expected that you will eliminate all life there within a fortnight. Do I hear an opening bid of one trillion? Yes, sir thank you.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Boston Marathon in 1897

April 20, 2020April 19, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 75 Comments

Top Ten

April 19th marks the anniversary of the first Boston Marathon, which was run in 1897. This is an event that we all would like to see. If you decide to jump on the time travel train, please take this list to ensure you don’t put a big ole tear in the time continuum. All aboard.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Boston marathon.

10 If you go, do not think you can sneak into the race and be lost in the thousands of participants. If you do, at best you’ll double think your decision. At worst, you will be noticed immediately by the judges since there are only fifteen participants. (You have a choice Lucian. Pay the entry fee or drop out. That policeman over there is going to make sure you choose one or the other.)

9 If you go, do not try to tell Tiny the WWF champ that the 24.5-mile course he has laid out should be 26.2 miles. If you do, at best, Tiny will ignore you. At worst, Tiny, who just finished his remedial math training, will think he’s made a math error and needs to cover it up. (There was no error, Lucius. The course distance was determined by a committee. It was changed to 26.2 miles in 1908. This is not going to help you now that Tiny has decided you need to be silenced. I’m sure he will let you out of that barrel once the race is over.)

8 if you go, do not suggest that the race be held on a Sunday. If you do, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worse, you’ll make that suggestion in earshot of the Boston Bishop. (Sundays are sacrosanct here in Boston, Lukas. The race was designed to be held on Patriots Day, which commemorates the beginning of the Revolutionary War. If Patriot’s Day fells on a Sunday, then the race was held on Monday. It took until 1969 for Patriot’s Day to be established as the third Monday of April. All this is well and good but too late to prevent you from being declared a heretic.)

7 If you go, do not mention the under the two-hour finish of Kenyan marathoner Eliud Kipchoge in 2019. If you do, at best, folks will think you have been drinking. At worst, you’ll mention it to John Mc Dermott, the winner who finished at 2:55:10. (Now John is wondering where you came from Lionel. Telling him Kipchoge’s time was 1:59:40 won’t stop him from the nose punch that is heading your way. in fact that info might just speed it up.)

6 If you go, do not wear the freebee Gateraid T-shirt that you scored at the Micky Mouse marathon last year. If you do, at best, it is under your sweatshirt. At worst, John Graham, the first Olympic team manager, and Boston Athletic Association member, will want to know all about it. (Now you are in a fine kettle of fish, Luciano. How are you going to explain sponsorships since the first did not start until the 1980s? Better think fast, cause Graham doesn’t look like a guy who suffers fools lightly.)

5 If you go, do not ask about the Red Sox baseball game that usually accompanies a marathon event. If you do, at best, no one will understand what you are talking about. At worst, the organizers will think you are trying to take over the event. (Although it is a tradition for the Boston Red Sox to play a game before each marathon, they didn’t start doing it until 1903. It looks like you have created quite a stink, Leif. Tell em you lost your head there for a moment.)

4 If you go, do not ask about the lack of women participants. If you do, at best you’ll get a “What are you thinking?” look. At worst, the Boston Athletic Association will take you for a sufferage militant. (Those big Policemen over there, Lennon are just waiting for orders to clap you in irons. The first woman did not officially participate in the Boston marathon until 1972. Nina Kuscsik became the first official female participant to win the Boston Marathon in 1972.)

3 If you go, don’t mention running in a costume. If you do at best, you’ll get a laugh or two. At worst, you’ll be banned from the city. (The idea of running in costume did not become popular until Gary Fanelli did it as Elwood Blues, Dan Aykroyd’s character from The Blues Brothers, in 1981. Since he was successful, the idea caught on. Don’t try to tell the marathon organizers this fact, Ludwig. You may end up in a padded room.

2 If you go, do not ask the organizers if they allow bandits. If you do, at best, they will think you are talking about bandannas. At worst, someone will call the sheriff. (You know that bandits are unregistered runners that were tolerated, Lenny. Although not forbidden bandit runners have been discouraged since 2015. I think I would try an exit strategy since that sheriff’s deputy looks like he has no sense of humor at all.

1 If you go, do not wear your Hoka One One Carbon X running shoes and your Lululemon running suit. If you do, at best people will stare. At worst, someone will yell “Alien,” and your day is over. (A cardinal rule is to fit in, Langston. The running gear of the day should look like you are in your underwear and wearing combat boots. Yes, now that is more like it.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Humanity Part One

April 19, 2020April 18, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

Our walk in the neighborhood turned up evidence that we humans have a sense of caring for one another. An anonymous person or persons left messages of hope throughout the Hamilton Greenbelt. This is the first of two parts since there are too many photos for one post.

Views of the Neighborhood

We have all been here before. As a reminder, here is the entrance to the Hamilton Greenbelt.

Views of the neighborhood