Tag: author

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

Hump Day Camel

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week Nurse Campbell (Uh Staci) and Lucas seemed to be getting along quite well. Although most of you feel Lucas is on the make, I’m not so sure. Well, we need to go back to Anton, Illinois. It seems while Lucas is in the hospital Seth Gibson (The Sheriff) has been snooping around. He makes a phone call to Alice. Let’s go and take the literary license of being able to hear both sides of the conversation. (It is our right as readers.)

“Hello, Alice?”
“Yes, Seth it’s me.”
“Man, are you ever going to sweeten up?”
“Just get to it, Seth. What do you want?”
“Okay, I’ve been doing some inquiries about Lucas and his parents. I got a call from a pharmacist in Kenosha.”
“Kenosha? What the heck is a Kenosha?’
“It’s not a thing. It’s Lucas’ hometown in Wisconsin.”
“Where his parents were murdered?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“What did he want?”
“Well, I called every drugstore in Kenosha to see if there were any unusual circumstances around prescription drugs—”
“Wait a minute Seth. What pharmacist worth his salt is going to give you information without a court order. Medical information is private.”
“There is an old adage in investigative work. ‘Shake the tree to see what falls.’”
“Whatever that means.”
“I just identified myself as the sheriff conducting an investigation into the Saveride murders and what falls out of the tree but this Pharmacist.”
“What did he say?”
“Well, he was real cautious given the sensitivity of any medical information. He wanted to make sure he would not be tied to the case.”
“So you told him he would not, right?”
“Yes, I did. Then he tells me that Lucas was getting regular prescriptions for anxiety. He even mentioned that the side effects could be uncontrolled rage or thoughts of suicide.”
“My gosh, Seth. I wonder if he is still on ’em.”
“It is something to follow-up on for sure. The reason I’m telling you this is so you’ll be careful around him.”
“Yes, Seth I’m sure you want me to be careful.”
“You know Alice, sometimes you are too smart for your own good.”
“Oh, okay Seth. I’ll try to dumb down for you.”
“Goodbye, Alice. You’ve been warned.”
“So you believe the Pharmacist?”
“Not sure. I wonder why he would give up the information so easily. I just want to keep you safe so until I check it out, so you be careful.”
“Okay, Seth. By the way…Thanks. Bye.”
“Bye Alice.”

Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #132 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

Kith explains “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #132

Working by John W. Howell © 2017

“Be quiet someone is in there.”

“Who is it?”

“I have no idea. It is somebody who’s working.”

“How do you know she’s working?”

“Light over the computer. Back to the windows. Certainly not someone having a holiday.”

“What do we do now?”

“I’m not sure. We can’t bust in there now.”

“What about all that loot that was rumored to be in there.”

“I guess we will have to hit another place.”

“Aw come on. One look at us and she’ll faint.”

“We can’t take that chance. What if she screams and some guy comes out with a gun.”

“What’s the chance he’ll be able to hit us both?”

“So you are volunteering to be shot.”

“Well, no. I see what you mean.”

“I think we are going to have to settle for some other place.”

“You told me you saw the loot.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Tell me.”

“It will just torture you.”

“Yeah, but better to dream than not.”

“Okay. There was cheese, peanut butter, and walnuts.”

“Go on. You don’t mean it?”

“That’s what I saw.”

“You know the last time I had cheese I had to slide it out of that stupid four way snap trap.”

“When’s the last time you had walnuts?”

“I can’t even remember, but I had to drop one once when the cat showed up.”

“Me I never eat peanut butter. They always use peanut butter on those snap traps.”

“Man I’m starving.”

“Let’s go to the barn and get some grain.”

“I guess that will have to do. Be careful that damn owl has been around lately.”

“If I didn’t know better, I would think people don’t like mice very much.”

“Don’t say that. I have some pretty tender feelings.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Photo Shoot.

~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

Top Ten Thing not to do

 

This list was inspired by my Producer. We did a shoot yesterday and the subject of Ten Things Not to Do came up. I have to admit publically that I only did number ten once.  The rest – all fiction. I hope you enjoy the list.

10. If you are on a photo shoot, do not ignore the advice of your Producer. If you do, at best you’ll have lousy photos. At worst, you’ll have bad pictures and an ex Producer. (See what happens when you ignore good advice, Pard?)

9 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take photos of people without permission. If you do, at best you may have to run fast. At worst, you will take a lovely photo of Tiny the WWF champ before he could suck in his substantial belly. (Funny how that camera turned to dust in Tiny’s hand huh, Tex?)

8 If you are on a photo shoot, do not try to get the whole picture while backing up to the edge of a cliff. If you do, at best a fence will stop you from going over. At worst, you will be catching multiple shots of the cliff face whizzing by you. (It is now time to worry about the landing, Putz.)

7 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take too many pictures of the same thing. If you do, at best you’ll waste camera memory. At worst, your producer will believe you have some kind of fixation on the object. (Sure you can explain away a building, but that person in a bikini is another matter right, Ferd?)

6 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take the shot until you check the camera settings. If you do, at best the last setting is still okay for this shot. At worst, you will get home to find the best shot of the day is a blur. (Oh don’t worry, Buford. You’ll get another chance to photograph that rare bird in flight. Maybe in the next life.)

5 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take the shot until you check the background. If you do at best, all is good. At worst, that cute puppy in the background just decided to lift a leg as you pressed the shutter button. (And of course, this is the only photo of the scene hay, Bunky?)

4 If you are on a photo shoot, do not take photos of places where you see signs that say “No Photographs.” If you do, at best you might get away with one or two with no flash. At worst, just as you are about to take the first photo, the word SECURITY shows up in your viewfinder. (That guy is big and very close to you, Buzzy.)

3 If you are on a photo shoot, do not get carried away with the scene. If you do, at best you may forget to set something. At worst, every one of your photos has the camera body strap or your thumb front and center. (Well that was fun. Maye the circus will be back next year, and you can try again, Doofus.)

2 If you are on a photo shoot, do not enter private property to take photos. If you do, at best you may be asked to leave. At worst, you might not be able to out run that gigantic bull you thought would make a great picture. (You did see the “No Trespassing – Wild Bull” sign didn’t you, Ace?)

1 If you are a photo shoot, do not ignore the weather to get your shot. If you do, at best you might get wet. At worst, that bolt lightning sure cleared your sinus. (You know not to stand in water in an electrical storm huh, Bosco?)

Views of the Neighborhood – City Services

~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

My producer and I were discussing the number of services that were available for residents of our city. We have a population of 3,300 and it is amazing the number of services available in Port Aransas. We decided to detail them here. We left off trash and brush collection as well as police and fire since those are available to most cities. We did not include those activities available exclusively to tourists too. I hope you enjoy a recap of those amenities available.

Port Aransas Services

This is our community theater.

The new art center (under construction)

The Museum

The Computer Center.

The weekly newspaper

Chamber of Commerce

Animal rescue

And since the Producer is also involved in Boxer rescue we have extra pictures of dogs…

And these adorable kittens. Our shelter is a no-kill shelter, so all the rescues have an opportunity for a new home.

The Library. (Which is expanding)

A wildlife refuge named Charlie’s Pasture. Here is the pavilion with bay water in the background

The Marine Science Institute

The public pool with new water slide.

Port A parks

Skate park

Port A pParks

Baseball fieldParidise Pond

Paradise Pond

Roberts Point Park

Robert’s Point Park

I.B.Magee Park

I.B. Magee Beach Park

The Birding Center

Marina

The marina

The airport.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Sealing/Ceiling”

~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

 

SOCS

It is Stream of Conscious Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is Sealing/Ceiling. Linda Hill says we can use these any way we want. We can use one or both. If you would like to join in this prompt go to Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link where you will see other’s work too. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2217/

Sealing/Ceiling by John W. Howell © 2017

“What are you doing up there?”

“I’m sealing the ceiling.”

“What?”

“There is a leak in the roof, so I’m putting some stuff on the ceiling, so the water won’t leak in.”

“Shouldn’t you be putting something on the roof?”

“I would but it is so high up there, and besides it’s raining.”

“I’m not sure this is going to work. What about the water in the attic?”

“I have that figured out too.”

“I can’t wait to hear this.”

“Yeah, I put a bunch of towels on the attic floor. They will catch the water.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to put a bucket in the attic?”

“What happens when the bucket gets full?”

“What happens when the towels get soaked?”

“You have me there. Do we have a big bucket?”

“Get that one we use to hold beer at picnics. It’s plenty big.”

“Where will I put the beer?”

“You don’t have any beer.”

“What if we want to go on a picnic?”

“It is raining out there. We are not going on a picnic.”

“What if it stops raining?”

“Then you won’t need the bucket to collect rain water.”

“Then I can use it to put beer in?”

“OMG either you are the dumbest human on Earth, or I am the smartest. Yes, you can then fill it with beer.”

“I’m not dumb. You are pretty smart though. How can I put beer in the bucket when it’s filled with water?”

“You empt— No wait. You fill the bucket with ice and then put the beer in. The water will make it extra cold.”

“Okay, smarty pants I have you now. How do I get a bucket filled with beer, ice, and water down the stairs to the backyard?”

“This will make sense to only you. You don’t. You have everyone come up to the attic to get their beer.”

“Oh, I get it. They will get their exercise, and I won’t have to lug that bucket.”

“Doh.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

 

Glad to see Friday roll around. It has been a busy week filled with some activities. Circumstances of Childhood (My next) has been fully edited and proofed. It now needs formatting and then will be ready to go.  I wrote to my cover artist about the cover but did not get a response. This is very unusual, so I’ll have to follow through and make certain she got the e-mail. When launch time comes, I will be asking for help. I will publish a separate, and if you would like to be part of the tour, you’ll have the opportunity to sign up. It looks like a mid-September launch if I can get a cover.

It is always amazing to me how many things can go south in the preparation process for publishing a book. It might be better not to have a target date and just do it when it is ready. Ah, what fun would that be? Today’s JohnKu talks about publishing. I hope you have a great weekend.

Publishing by John W. Howell © 2017

Ready to publish,

Wait, just one more check before. . .

Where’s the back cover?

Thursday – A Little Personal – Bailey’s Lament

~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

Lucy

“Hi, Boss.”

“Hi, Lucy. What’s happening?”

“Do you think you could set that computer aside and take us to the beach?”

“Sure thing. Is Bailey ready to go?”

“Uh?”

Bailey

“Wait, what?”

“Want to go to the beach?”

“What about my nap?”

Lucy

“Brother. That would be the tenth nap today.”

“Okay ladies, Let’s hit it.”

Stella

“A nice long walk.”

“Thank you, Stella. Lucy and Bailey love your input.”

Bailey

“Look at these tracks. We should be riding in something like this.”

“Come on Bailey. A walk will do you good.”

Bailey

“I just had my nails done. Look at Lucy. She’s just sitting there.”

Lucy

“I’m trying to figure out where that sand crab went. I think he jumped into a dune buggy.”

Bailey

“Okay give me a moment. I have this itch.”

“Sure Bailey. You are allergic to walks.”

Bailey

“Oh, that was a good one.  Come on Lucy.  I guess we’ll have to do this thing.”

Lucy

“I don’t know. I’m now thinking we should wait until nighttime for this. Do that itching thing again. Maybe it will buy us some time.”

Bailey

“He’s getting a little impatient.”

“Okay ladies. Either walk or we go back home.”

 

“Ahh. Love the AC.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we witnessed Alice and Harriet visiting Lucas. When the two women left, Lucas seems to recognize he had a problem with them. I received a few suggestions that Nurse Campbell should have been named Houston since the last line was, “Nurse Campbell. I’ve got a problem.” Let’s go back and see if Nurse Campbell has some solution for Lucas.

“What kind of problem, Mr. Saveride?”
“Did you see those two?”
“Yes. They seemed very concerned about you.”
“Yeah like a sirloin steak in the butcher’s display case.”
“Oh now, Mr. Severide. I think you are being too harsh.”
“I asked Mrs. Weston if we ever talked about making love.”
“Yes.”
“She said no.”
“Do you have information that she was not honest?”
“Yes, I do. I remember that I took her to my place for a drink and in my mind to make love.”
“Could you be mistaken? You claim you can’t remember things.”
“That was when I first woke up. I can remember a lot. She definitely wanted me to make love to her.”
“And you didn’t make love?”
“No we were at my place, and she got a phone call. She took me back to Mrs. Murphy’s and asked for a rain check on the love making.”
“Sounds like you were willing.”
“Well, yes I was. In case you haven’t noticed she is an attractive woman.”
“I have seen how she looks at you. Yes, she is attractive if you like older women.”
“Well let’s just say I don’t have much experience and Mrs. Weston seemed like a safe way to learn.”
“Ha ha ha. I’ve never heard a man admit he has experience gaps on lovemaking.”
“I guess you being a nurse makes me comfortable in telling my secrets.”
“Please know I wasn’t laughing at you but the situation.”
“Yes, I understand Nurse Campbell.”
“You can call me Staci.”
“I like the name, Staci. Okay, Staci, it is. Please call me Lucas.”
“Do you have a girl friend, Lucas?”
“No, Staci. I do not.”
“Good looking man like you, I’m surprised.”
“I have been too busy I think. I’ve had to work pretty hard my whole life. Boyfriend?”
“What?”
“Do you have a boy friend?”
“I have had many but none right now.”
“No tragedy I hope.”
“Oh, no. The usual. A few dates and then compatibility problems.”
“You don’t seem like someone who is hard to get along with. Are you?”
“I don’t think so, but I’m prejudiced. Well, nice chatting but I have to get back to work. You rest now.”
“Yes, boss.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – The Enhanced League by C.S.Boyack – Book Launch #RRBC

~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

I have enjoyed C. S. Boyack’s books and am pleased to be part of his launch crew. Today I have a special guest, Lisa Burton who is here to talk about The Enchanted League his latest.  The post is yours, Lisa.

Thanks for inviting me back today, John. I enjoy getting away from the writing cabin from time to time, and these whirlwind tours are a wonderful way to refresh my attitude.

Craig and I are making the rounds to promote his new book, The Enhanced League. It’s a collection of short stories that serve to tell an overarching story by the end. It’s all about a professional baseball league where nobody cares about performance enhancing drugs.

They look at it like everyone is an adult, and can make their own mind up about supplements and drugs. To be competitive, there is a bit more pomp than you might find in other professional sports. The stadiums are outrageous, the umpires are beautiful, and the league is international in scope.

There are a lot of stories that happen off the field. These involve the machinations of unscrupulous owners, general managers, and more. There is even a recurring broadcast team with a traveling studio that reports on what happens inside the league.

There are women too. They serve as umpires, business women, and in today’s case a technical developer.

I brought you a poster of me, posing as Sheri. Sheri is the technical developer for the Montreal Mounties. She’s created an artificial arm for their hot new pitcher, Roger Warpspeed Warren. She also becomes his love interest eventually. It’s so much fun getting to portray someone so smart, and in a healthy relationship at the same time.

 

Lisa Burton

 

Feel free to use the poster as a cell phone background or whatever you like.

Roger is one of the main characters, if you can have such a thing in a collection of short stories. The book loosely follows his first year in The Enhanced League. There are stories in the collection that don’t include Roger, but they could influence the year he’s having.

We only made three posters, and I couldn’t honor all the female characters in the book. The career girl, Darci is a strong character too, but she didn’t get a poster. The Kawaii Girls from Niigata Japan work pretty hard to perfect their performances in the stadium, but they got left out too. Then there is Rose, the traveling reporter from the broadcast team. We just can’t honor them all with a poster, but I think you’ll enjoy reading about them.

The main story is Roger and his first year with the Mounties. It’s an exciting story with plenty of ups and downs. The other characters and stories serve to enhance that ongoing story. Craig said I had to weave the word enhance in there somehow.

Thanks for having me, and pick up a copy of The Enhanced League for the incredible price of 99¢.

***

Enhanced League

Blurb: The Enhanced league is a collection of short stories and anthems centered around a year in a fictional baseball league. It has a slight science fiction background. This league has a lot more pomp than you might be used to, and nobody seems to care if the players use performance enhancing drugs.

Stories involve existing heroes, up and comers, and falling stars. While there are the obvious stories that take place on the field of play, there are also human interest stories that take place around the baseball gyrations. These stories involve scouting, trades, ruthless business decisions, and even relationships.

I enjoyed researching and bringing you The Enhanced League, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. — CB

Here is the link to Amazon. http://a-fwd.com/asin-com=B073T5DH2Q

 

C. S. Boyack

I was born in a town called Elko, Nevada. I like to tell everyone I was born in a small town in the 1940s. I’m not quite that old, but Elko has always been a little behind the times. This gives me a unique perspective of earlier times, and other ways of getting by. Some of this bleeds through into my fiction.

I moved to Idaho right after the turn of the century and never looked back. My writing career was born here, with access to other writers and critique groups I jumped in with both feet.

I like to write about things that have something unusual. My works are in the realm of science fiction, paranormal, and fantasy. The goal is to entertain you for a few hours. I hope you enjoy the ride.

Craig

Blog My Novels  Twitter Goodreads Facebook Pinterest

Next week Kreative Kue will return.

Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Trail Ride

~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Trail Ride

The inspiration for this list was receiving a photo of a couple who had gone on a trail ride. My last ride was in Aspen Colorado, but I still remember the experience. We were riding at 8,000 feet in the Rockies, and the sights were hard to describe. Hope you enjoy the list knowing not many of your take trail rides routinely.

10 If you are on a trail ride, do not think beach wear is appropriate on a horse. If you do, at best the little chaffing will be soothed by lotion. At worst, a cactus ride by will yield a trip to the ER. (Those thorns certainly make a mess huh, Buford?)

9 If you are on a trail ride, do not let your horse bite the mount of Tiny the WWF champ who is on a horse for the first time. If you do, at best Tiny will keep his seat. At worst, Tiny will be airborne and once he lands He’ll want to “talk” to you. (You know Tiny tends to talk with his knuckle megaphone right, Tex?)

8 If you are on a trail ride, do not think you can ignore your guide. If you do, at best you’ll not get lost. At worst, you will only be lost until the forest service helicopter spots you. ( How do you like that five-figure search and rescue bill, Ferd?)

7 If you are on a trail ride, do not think your needs are the only ones that need to be addressed. If you do, at best someone will set you straight quickly. At worst, you may find yourself walking back to base by yourself. (It might have been that statement about needing a china plate for lunch that was the last straw, Bosco.)

6 If you are on a trail ride, do not get off your horse unless the guide tells you. If you do, at best you might find a way on your own to get back on. At worst, you frightened the horses behind you, and now all are running for the barn. (Wonder why no one is talking to you, Pal?)

5 If you are on a trail ride, do not ask if there is a vegan choice for an entrée at the campfire dinner. If you do, the grizzled guide will give you a look not to be forgotten. At worst, your guide will hand you a plate that he swears is meatless.  (You should have arranged your choice ahead of time, Buster. Is that something moving in the meatless dish?)

4 If you are on a trail ride, do not forget to take water. If you don’t at best, you have to hope the guide has bottled water. At worst you’ll have to drink from the guide’s canteen. (Was that a hint of chewing tobacco backwash in that last drink, Bunky?)

3 If you are on a trail ride, do not irritate your horse. If you do, at best he won’t dump you on the trail. At worst, at 8000 feet your horse will decide to trip slightly giving you the opportunity to apologise. (The apology better be sincere, Roscoe.)

2 If you are on a trail ride, do not think you have to act like John Wayne on a cattle drive. If you do, at best your fellow riders will ignore you. At worst, yippie yi ki yay is horse language for dump this idiot. (How you got on the ground so fast, Putz?)

1 If you are on a trail ride, do not try to keep up with your texts and e-mails. If you do, at best you’ll finally lose a signal in the mountains. At worst, your horse will detect you are not paying attention and will take the opportunity to gallop to the barn early. (Looks like you are barely holding on, Roy. That screaming is very becoming as well.)