Tag: author

Shape-Stream of Consciousness Saturday Prompt

~ John W. Howell ~ 16 Comments

Shape is the prompt for this week’s Saturday Stream of Consciousness prompt. You can read all about the torture good fun and join in right here: http://lindaghill.com/2014/10/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-october-1814/ My interpretation of SHAPE is a story named You Don’t Say. Hope you like it.

You Don’t Say By John W. Howell © 2014

“Hey, man where you going?”

“Gotta get to the gym.”

“What for?”

“What do you, usually, do at the gym?”

“Play basketball?”

“Uh, man you are the brightest.”

“You don’t say.”

‘Yeah, I do say. I’m going to the Gym to get in shape.”

“What kind of shape do you want to get in? Trapezoid?

“Ah yes, of course. You are doing stand-up on the tonight show right?”

“You don’t say.”

“I do say you are the most annoying person sometimes.”

“So you didn’t answer the question. What shape do you want to get in?”

“I want to look like a pear. Okay?”

“You already look pear-shaped. Why bother?”

“Do you know how to box?”

“No. I’m more of a bag man myself.”

“That’s it, put up your dukes.”

“You don’t say.”

“I do say. Fight or flee.”

“I choose flee thank you. See ya.”

TGIF Friday is Here aaaaattttttttt Last!

~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

Friday is here again and is the signal to start the relaxing engine. Whoa, we have to wait until after five o’clock, but then we can turn up the throttle to full speed. This week I have been thinking of doing something a little different from the usual JohnKu (a term coined by Words 4jp) I thought this week I would give you some views of the current conditions here on the Gulf. We have had some nice rains and by and large the tourist population has just about disappeared. The temperatures are still in the nineties and as the local radio station says, “now that summer is over we can look forward to three more months of summer.”

The first picture is of a nice storm that blew in from Mexico and was a left over from a tropical storm there. This was taken about 9:30 in the morning.

 

This next one is of the rainbow that followed the storm. You may see it is a double, but the camera is not the best so it is hard

 

 

This is a shot is of our Boxer Lucy standing very patiently while I take a photo of the totally deserted beach which is a complete contrast to how it looked on labor day.

 

Here is a photo of the Gulf and how it looks today. This was taken from the same spot as the storm photo and about the same time. The camera is aimed a little more North

 

The final shot is of the Birds of Paradise that are in front of the house. They have been really prolific this season. We have had one plant that has not bloomed in seven years and it has a flower as well.

 

Hope you enjoyed the change of pace and wish you a very nice weekend.

Wednesday Story day AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

 

Wednesday is here. Is your week good so far?  I hope it is since that is the true way to have the work week move along at a better pace. Of course, we all know that. (Reminds me of the Geico commercial) Today’s story is one that has been on my brain for a couple of weeks and one of the best ways to give my brain a rest is to plunk it down here. The story is a little longer than I, usually, run it is 967 words. If you have the time I hope you like it.

Last Night by John W. Howell © 2014

So with nothing better to do, I figured I will stop at Jerry’s place and grab a couple a drinks and a burger. I, usually, don’t go there on Saturday night since there’s a crap load of amateurs takin’ up what I would consider prime space. Having not spent enough at Jerry’s to warrant bring able to call the shots, seat wise, I try to avoid Saturday if I can. Even so I go through the door, stop and have a look around.  There’s the usual weekend crowd alright, hanging on each other like they never had a date before. I tighten my eyelids against the smoke and can make out four guys by the pool table and what looks like a couple of girls fetching drinks.  I cross hustling some rubes out of a few bucks off my list since they will be forever playing eight ball with themselves.

Straight ahead is the bar and I do believe there is a place right in the middle. I get my feet to move in that direction while looking over the other side. The tables all seem jammed with happy drunks. There are buckets of empties on each table and I see the barmaid trying to sell more. She’s not having much luck since most of these people just spent their last five bucks on this outing. I make it to the chair and hoist myself up and lean on the bar.

“Hey Sammy,” Jerry says. “Whadda you have?”

“Evening Jerry. Gimmie a double Crown neat and a beer back.”

“Comin’ up.”

I like Jerry’s no-nonsense way he handles things. He doesn’t like small talk and gets right to business.  I can feel my eyes start to smart from the smoke and wonder how Jerry gets away with letting people kill themselves when it is clearly not allowed in this kind of establishment.

“Here you go Sammy. Want me to run a tab?”

“Yeah, Jerry I would appreciate that. I intend to have another drink and then a burger.”

“No problem. Gimme the high sign when you’re ready for another.”

“Will do Jerry. Thanks.”

“For you buddy anything.”

I should mention Jerry and I go back a ways. We were in the Army together and had ourselves a real ball. We could hardly believe we were getting paid for having so much fun. I take a sip of my drink and wait for the hot assed burn in my throat which signals the good stuff. There it is. I take a swig of the beer and almost believe life is good. I think I’ll wait for the whiskey to get to the brain before making any judgment.

While I’m waiting for the warmth of the Crown go from my stomach to my head, I check out the folk sitting on either side. Not too friendly as they both have their backs turned to me and are engrossed in some kind of discussion with their neighbor. I figure it’s just as well, since I don’t want to go through that old “what do you do” bullshit. I also don’t figure on staying the night, so no use getting into any long discussions about life.

I look down at my Crown and start to wonder what’s going to happen tomorrow. It’s gonna be Sunday and my daughter wants to come and visit. She lives in Connecticut and we don’t see each other often. It’s only an hour’s drive or even less by train, but it seems like a world away. Her husband is a nice enough guy, yet I always wonder if he has someplace important to go when I visit. He never sits still and is on the phone or at the computer. He makes a good living, but it seems to me a person could take an hour to sit and talk. I never had a son and was looking forward to some kind of relationship when he and daughter got married.  It’s never going to happen with him.

I take another pull at my drink and notice the burn is lessened. It happens every time. First sip initiation I call it. It’s like the first puff of a cigarette, hits ya hard then after nothing. I decide to let daughter pretty much have the agenda tomorrow. She and I have not really had a chance to talk for a while. I think she blamed me when her mother ran off with that guy with the house on the Hudson. He has a title and the old gal couldn’t resist, but I think daughter always felt I should have done something. Her mother’s sleeping with another guy. What the hell can I do about that?  I’ll just go with the flow. If she wants to go out we will. If she wants to stay in we can do that too. I better think about getting some food in the house. Of course, we can always order in. I need to move on to my drink and let this go. Tomorrow will be what it is. I hope we can somehow patch up whatever is wrong.

For some reason, I feel pretty tired and think I will go ahead and finish my drink.  Maybe I’ll just go home and forget the burger.  First though I think I’ll just shut my eyes for a minute. My hands feel good as I put my head down.

“Hey, Sammy,” Jerry says.  I barely hear him yell. “What’s the matter you taking a nap? Sammy?” I can feel him shake me, but I have no interest in waking up.  His voice gets further away and I think he says, “oh my god Sophie call 911 quick.” Now the room goes silent and I am so tired.

 

Interview with Kristy Feltenberger Gillespie – Author

~ John W. Howell ~ 15 Comments

 

 

Today I am happy to welcome Kristy Feltenberger Gillespie, Author of Jaded, a YA thriller, and Even in Death which is a collection of ten short stories. You should know that Kristy has dropped the price of both books to $.99.

Come on in Kristy and make yourself comfortable. You’ll have to excuse the animals running around but we just got a new foster Boxer and the rest of the clan are trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible so maybe he will go away. Pay no attention to them. I am so glad you stopped by Fiction Favorites.

Kristy Thanks, John! I have three dachshunds and two cats so I feel right at home!

John I imagine you have your hands full as well. So Kristy why don’t you tell us a little about yourself where you grew up, siblings, family life, education, and how you got to where you are now.

Kristy: I’m from Johnstown, PA and I bleed black and gold; Go Steelers!

John: Wait. I have to interrupt and let you know I’m a Steelers fan as well.

Kristy: No way. What a small world.

John: Yeah, my wife is from Mt Lebanon PA and I found it a good idea to adopt the Steelers.

Kristy: Patrick, my husband of 4 years, is a 49er fan so I bleed a little red and gold, too. Scott, my younger brother, lives in Pittsburgh but is a Vikings fan which makes absolutely no sense considering he’s never been to Minnesota. Even though, Northern Virginia has been my home for over ten years, I’m not a Redskins fan.  I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a master’s degree in school counselling, and I’m working towards a School Library Media degree. I moved to Northern VA to attend grad school and can’t imagine a better place to live… although living near the ocean would ideal.

John: As you can see the Gulf is pretty nice too. How long have you been writing and who if anyone got you started?

Kristy: I’ve written for as long as I can remember. My mom has probably been my biggest influence because she has always encouraged creativity.

John: What is your genre? And would you like to write in another?

Kristy: I write young adult fiction, adult fiction/short stories, and poetry.  I would love to write a film script one day.

John: I imagine a script would be pretty complex. So you must have a reason for writing other than putting words on paper. Why is it you write?

Kristy: I have so many ideas in my head that I have to write them down in order to make space!

John: What a great reason. Who would you say are your favorite or most influential authors and why?

Kristy: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Sylvia Plath because they are simply amazing.

John: I enjoyed both as well. What is your latest (published) book called and what is it about?

Kristy: Even In Death: A Short Story Collection – ten short stories that explore the thin line between love and hate; extreme emotions even death cannot destroy.

John: Sounds great. What was the inspiration for the story?

Kristy: Each story has been inspired by various things. For example, “A Flower Story,” (where flowers are delivered long after a person is alive to smell them) stemmed from a random conversation with a co-worker.

John: Was there anything about the collection that caused you worry?

Kristy: I was a little afraid that my short story collection would be “too dark” for most people, but that hasn’t been the consensus.

John: Sounds like it’s getting a good reception. Is your book going to be part of a series?

Kristy: Sort of; I plan on writing another short story collection with a similar theme.

John: I always have to ask about process. Are you a plotter (Work with a plan) or a pantster? (fly by the seat of your pants)

Kristy: Plotter for novels, pantster for short stories. Short stories are so much easier because I tend to write short and sweet.

John: I feel the same about short stories. It’s relaxing  to a degree to write them. What are you working on right now?

Kristy: Hunted, the sequel to my YA Thriller, Jaded, and I’m also working on Blinded, the prequel.   

John: Can you give your readers a blurb?

Kristy: Here’s the synopsis for Jaded: Jade has spent her entire life within the confines of the eye-color- obsessed Nirvana commune. She dreams of experiencing freedom, but travel to the Outside is forbidden. Besides, she’s a dutiful daughter who never breaks the rules. As her seventeenth birthday approaches, however, she realizes just how little she wants to follow the commune rules. She doesn’t want to undergo another eye color surgery, or immediately choose a life partner or follow her parents’ life paths of teaching or wine making. In fact, her green eyes suit her just fine, she’s never even been on a date, and she’s passionate about photography. And yet she’s resigned to do as she’s told because it’s easier for her to close her eyes and follow orders.
Her Grandmother Ruby’s murder is the catalyst that causes Jade to open her eyes wide for the first time in her life. She’s devastated yet determined to find the killer and their motive. With help from her mysterious friend Tyrian, and Peaches, the commune leader’s sweet daughter, Jade unearths dark secrets which include her mother’s illicit affair, her maternal grandparents’ escape from Nirvana, and a plethora of murders. To make matters worse, someone is hell-bent on ending Jade’s mission for the truth, and that someone is most likely the killer.
Jade can’t continue conforming to an evil society and yet she fears the Outside is just as corrupt. If she resolves to flee and is caught, the punishment is banishment to the slave cabins…and blinding.

John: What can your readers look forward to in 2015?

Kristy: Hunted and Blinded should both be out by then!

John: Thanks again Kristy for the interview. It was interesting and I’m sure your readers will look forward to the release of  Hunted and Blinded  Where can your readers find your books, your blog and Twitter address.

Kristy:  Amazon link for Jaded:   http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00II0UUSQ  Not to forget I just reduced the price to $.99.

 

Amazon link for Even In Death:        http://www.amazon.com/Even-Death-Short-Story-Collection/dp/0692228055/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1407526096&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=Kristy+Feltenberger+Gillesie As a reminder I reduced the price to $.99.

 

Keep Calm & Write On Blog: http://kristyfgillespie.com/

Twitter: @KFGillespie

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristy.feltenbergergillespie?filter=3

Ten Things Not to Do If You Are Over Seventy Years of Age

~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

This list was inspired by having the opportunity to be around some of my peers over the last couple of weeks. Also, Kevin Brennan author of Occasional Soulmates had a great post last Saturday about his 79-year-old mother. You can read that one HERE

10 If you are over seventy, make sure the foreign object you think is in your food is really there. If you don’t, at best the store manager will give you your money back but will give you that “old person” roll of the eyes. At worst, the object turns out to be your glasses that fell off while you were looking closely to find out what it was. This will be discovered by the customer service person surrounded by twenty other shoppers.

9 If you are over seventy, do not think you can ride a bicycle at top speed, wipe out and bounce like you did when you were fifty. If you do, at best you will have a nice reminder as you soak in a hot bathtub and eat aspirin like M&Ms. At worst, you will be among the lucky few spending a number of hours in the ER surrounded by one hundred really sick and injured people who all got there ahead of you.

8 If you are over seventy, do not try to leave the house without your glasses. If you do, at best you won’t be able to read the credit card terminal at the checkout counter and sign whatever is there and it matches what you bought. At worst, you will be clueless when the bank teller asks you to sign the withdrawal slip made out for you and four days later you read in the local newspaper where the teller is spending three weeks on Aruba.

7 If you are over seventy, do not decide the surfing competition looks winnable since there is only one entrant in the seventy and above bracket. If you do, at best you will have nothing more catastrophic than looking like a fool. At worst, you will wipe out and ground yourself on the beach where the medal committee will erect a monument in your honor.

6 If you are over seventy do not think your dance routine is still in. If you do, at best the rest of the crowd will be laughing behind your back. At worst, your routine will take up so much room and bump so many people the bouncer will remove you for your own protection

5 If you are above seventy, do not go anywhere near a Karaoke machine. If you do, at best you will get a short slow song you can handle poorly. At worst, you will pull a rap number and will scare yourself with the words that scroll across the screen  reminding you being scared is not good for your pacemaker performance.

4 If you are over seventy, do not drive in the left lane ever. If you do, at best you will wonder what all those hand signals mean in the context of driving. At worst, you will have a monster truck come so close to your rear bumper you will be forced to look in the rear view mirror only to swerve into some hapless seventy year old next to you.

3 If you are over seventy, do not raise your arms above your head if you are wearing short sleeves, if you do, at best you won’t notice the extra movement of skin and will think the wind is picking up. At worst you will cause enough stares to stop traffic with those undulating biceps that seem to have fallen.

2 If you are over seventy, do not go to a restaurant any time earlier than 7:00. If you do, at best you will get the early bird menu and won’t really find green Jell-O to your liking. At worst, a youthful server will insist that you will truly enjoy the breaded fish sticks instead of the of the large juicy steak you were intending. “Besides,” she says. “It is much easier to chew.”

1 If you are over Seventy, do not try to tell stories about how great it was in the old days. If you do, At best you will be finishing your stories to yourself. At worst, you will notice people running away as you come close and it won’t be because you have worn the same clothes for five days. (well, maybe)

Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

~ John W. Howell ~ 16 Comments

 

This week’s Stream of consciousness prompt is the letter “s.”  If you would like to learn more about this fun exercise go to http://lindaghill.com/2014/10/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-october-1114/  and ask for Linda Hill. Oh yeah, tell her John sent you. Here is my contribution to this week’s prompt “s”

The exercise is to write the first thing that comes to mind after seeing the letter “s.” I have to admit the first thing on my mind is simply silly subjects submitted Saturday summarily sanctioned sanctimoniously. I know that is a mind or mouth full but there you have it. The ranting’s of a truly deranged mind.

My second thought on the letter “s” had to do with those people who say shoot instead of shit. I have always found them to be genteel and of good manners. I have wished to be like them but whenever the opportunity arises I always revert back to the base element.  Take hitting my thumb with a hammer. I want to say shoot, but it never seems to work out. Also asking someone to pick up something they have thrown down never seems to have the punch when you say, “excuse me would you pick up that shoot over there?”

I guess I am doomed to continue to show my lack of education and breeding by continuing to ignore a very effective way of lifting my speech out of the shoot and into a higher plane. (Doesn’t sound right somehow) Oh, shoot maybe I need more practice. Damn what is this on my shoe? I wish people would pick up their dog shoot. Maybe the English have it right. Just say shite and be done with it.

 

Friday JohnKu and TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 15 Comments

 

margarita pitcher

Friday is here. Okay everyone. Today’s margarita special is made with freshly squeezed key lime juice, Tapatio Tequila Blanco, Cointreau, and agave nectar. It is shaken and served over chipped ice. You can elect to have it blended till frozen and also salt or no salt on the glass. With the margarita I am offering a selection of salsa including green chilies, peach and spicy tomatillo.  So step up and place your order. It is Friday after all. Oh yes, today’s JohnKu (a term coined by Words4jp)  is titled Rest and I hope you like it.

Rest by John W. Howell © 2014

When the last day comes,

Will there be anyone who says?

I wish to work more.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 7 Comments

 

 

Wednesday once again. I always love Wednesdays for two reasons: 1. It means Friday is within reach. 2. I get to tell a story. Of course, telling  story requires having someone around to read the story. That someone is you and I am very happy to have you here today. I hope you like this little story and yes, it is about one of our favorite characters, Frank. It is titled the Bank.

The Bank by John W. Howell

“Frank, when we going to knock off the First National?”

“Oh, I don’t know Dave. What’s so special about the First National?”

“I hear they give lollipops to the kids in the drive through.”

“Yeah, so what?

“You and I could go through the drive through and while we were taking the money we could demand that the clerk put all the lollipops in a bag too.”

“Sheesh Dave. I wonder how I manage to pull off any of these jobs without your insightful strategic planning input.”

“Strategic what?”

“Planning you idiot. Planning. Can you imagine pulling up to a drive-through and flashing some heat and demanding anything? The clerk could just duck and we would be hanging out with nothing. Oh yes, the camera would have our license plate number in full color.”

“Okay Frank. I got a little carried away.”

“Dave, focus. We are going into this bank and we will grab the pres before the time lock goes off on the safe. We will then fill these bags and take off before any alarms. You got it?”

“Yeah Frank. I got it. One question though.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“You think they have lollipops here too?”

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Trying to Decide What to Watch on TV

~ John W. Howell ~ 27 Comments

 

 

Ten things not to do when trying to decide what to watch on TV

This list was inspired by a recent visit to a friend’s house and observing some of the ways the friend decided which shows to watch.

10 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not take a suggestion from anyone ages fourteen to eighteen. If you do, at best you will be lost in the translation. At worst, you will see and hear things that will keep you up at night.

9 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not use the newspaper reviews as a guide to good programming. If you do, at best you will be asleep earlier than normal. At worst, you might find yourself wondering if you should discontinue your cable service.

8 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, don’t ask someone else what they want to watch. If you do, at best you will get an icy stare when you ignore the suggestion. At worst, you may end up watching this and other shows in the privacy of the garage.

7 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not scroll through the guide hoping something good will jump out at you. If you do, at best you will have to review one-hundred and sixty channels that are basically the same. At worst, those in the room may call an audible and you will lose your remote privileges for heaven knows how long.

6 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not call a friend for a suggestion. If you do, at best the friend will want a report on the show. At worst, you will hate the show and either lie to the friend or turn a friend into an enemy.

5 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch and your in-laws are there, simply hand over the remote. If you don’t, at best they’ll miss their favorite show and hate you forever. At worst, they might like your selection and decide to return on the nights that it is on since they can’t remember which channel to tune.

4 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch and your significant other wants to do something else, turn the set off. If you don’t, at best you be watching the show alone. At worst, you might be watching the show and it will be your only company for the long cold winter.

3 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not rely on the network hype about the “best new show of the season.” If you do you do, at best you might waste a half hour. At worst, you might waste a whole night depending on how many network hypes you followed.

2 If you are trying to decide which show to watch on TV, do not think the DVR will help. If you do, at best you may end up with a bunch of shows and no disk space. At worst you may have recorded all the clinkers of the season and while reviewing them miss the best.

1 If you are trying to decide which show to watch on TV, do not use any kind of gambling prop to help with the decision. If you do, at best the odds of getting something you want to watch are the same as the odds against you. At worst, your prop will be no more favorable to you in selecting a good show to watch than it has been in delivering sure thing winners.