“Oh, that one. She said I need to have some more tests. She thinks I may have…”
“Have what?”
“Hold on don’t rush me. She said my memory might need to be sharpened.”
“Sharpened? How?”
“I’m not sure. I went into the office and sat down and then they asked about a dog.”
“A dog? What does that have to do with memory?”
“That’s what I was thinking until I realized I was in the vet’s office.”
“The vet’s office?”
“I thought you went to see your primary care physician.”
“I thought so too but I forgot where the office was so I went in there.”
“Did they think your were crazy?”
“Not really. They told me my nose felt cold and thought I was in pretty good health except for the memory thing. They were so nice I made a follow-up appointment. I helped myself to a couple of biscuits although they were pretty sandy. They did say I should bring my dog next time.”
Wonderful Friday. Such a nice day. Only eight more hours and we can kick back and enjoy the fruits of our labor. I really like lime as a fruit of labor. You can squeeze it, add it to agave distillate juice with some orange liqueur and agave nectar. Toss it into a shaker and shake till ice-cold. Pour into a mason jar, add a slice of lime. Put your feet up while on the veranda and tell the world how much you have earned this little gem. I only have about 1000 words until I can do that later today. Hope you all have a good weekend. I didn’t forget the JohnKu (a term coined by Words4jp). It is called rest. Hope you like it.
I am very pleased to welcome Garrett Addison to Fiction Favorites. He is the author of Minions and The Traveller and a Rave Reviews Book Club Spotlight Author. As a Spotlight author Garrett will be touring some interesting blogs this week. (yes mine included) Go here to see the rest of his tour. Welcome Garrett.
Why ‘The Traveller’?
You ask how or why I came to write ‘The Traveller’? I’d actually finished my first novel, ‘Minions’ after many months of late night writing. It was done and I knew I needed to lock it away in a drawer so I could effectively forget about it so as to enable me to re-read it and start editing with a fresh perspective.
I liken it to a ‘now what?’ moment. Anyone who doesn’t write would probably think it was time to sit back and relax after a period of frenetic activity, but the reality was that I’d established such a routine that I was simple unable to stop writing. So what was I to do? My novel was too fresh in my head to start editing, and I hadn’t yet spared a thought as to what my next project would be, so I committed to some professional development. I listened to a mass of podcasts about all aspects of the writing craft, read a lot and tried some things, but really I was just wasting time. Funnily enough, amongst the podcasts I’d listened to was one espousing the virtues of ‘writing what you know’.
Not long afterwards, I found myself on a business trip. I was away from my family, travelling for work and after dinner my mind drifted into wondering about what I was missing at home. ‘Writing what I know’ at that very moment amounted to a series of anecdotes about work travel. Really, I was doing little more than putting pen to paper because I couldn’t help myself, but it passed the time between beverages. After the meal, I was left with what amounted to a rant and some observations for the un-initiated about what travelling with work is like. I wondered if there was a story in there, but it seemed like a long shot to take a few unrelated tales and extend them into a novel.
Then it happened on the return flight. I looked at what I’d written and thought of the predictability of a life when travelling and thought about what might make this trip less like every other trip. It got me thinking. What if this trip wasn’t like the others? What if elusive success was suddenly possible? What would I get up to … what could I get up to? Over the space of many frequent flyer miles and a few time zones, my travellers’ rant had turned into a story of one man being different to his usual self.
Words continued to flow over the weekend after my return until I’d written what I saw as being the shell of a good story. Still, after a fast start it still took many months of rewriting to get right because there was a huge difference between that first draft and the finished product. The characters needed to be developed, I couldn’t decide between first and third person perspectives, there was too much sex (yes, that is possible) and I needed to distil the real story from a mass of conflicting sub-plots. I got there in the end.
So there it is. Sometimes you just need to write what you know.
This list was inspired by observing the behaviors of my co-workers when the boss had to leave the office for business travel or vacation. To be clear, I personally never did any of these things since I was always taking notes and was a goodie two shoes. (Don’t forget I’m a fiction writer). Hope you like.
Ten Things Not to Do When Your Boss is Traveling or on Vacation
10 If the boss is out of the office, do not think your workload has been reduced for the length of time the boss is gone. If you do, at best you will get away with the slowdown. At worst, you will be asked by the boss for a status of your projects first thing in the morning of the boss’ return.
9 If the boss is out of the office, do not think you will make brownie points with your boss’ boss. If you do, at best your boss’ boss with think you an opportunist. At worst, the boss’ boss just might give you a ton of extra projects to complete before your boss gets back.
8 If the boss is out of the office, do not think it is your job to be the new boss. If you do, at best your co-workers will ignore you. At worst, your co-workers will actually come to you for decisions on projects that the boss has refused to consider. Your reward will be fully realized when the boss gets back.
7 If the boss is out of the office do not think the dress code is suspended. If you do, at best you’ll be ratted out to the boss by the weenie in the cube next to you. At worst, the boss will come back early and call you into a meeting with the big boss Lederhosen and all.
6 If the boss is out of the office do not think you are due three-hour lunches. If you do, at best you will make your co-workers upset. At worst your boss asked HR to keep an eye on the department and make note of the hours kept by all and you have a number of hours to make up.
5 If your boss is out of the office do not think you can organize an in office football game with the boss’ office on one end and the VP’s office on the other as the goal posts. If you do, at best the team that loses will rat you out to the boss. At worst, although it was supposed to be two-handed touch, Bruno from sales decided to repeat his performance as an All-American tackle. As a result of the hospitalizations, HR and security have been looking for you for days.
4 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you can requisition all the supplies your boss has denied. If you do, at best the supplies will be delivered to your boss’ office for dispersion. At worst, your boss will return to find the budget for supplies has been severally compromised and instead of asking what happened, contacts the internal department of investigation with a fraud investigation request.
3 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you have a carte blanche on business entertainment. If you do, at best you will be asked to reimburse the company for unauthorized expenses. At worst, your co- workers all join you for the meal and thinking you can submit it as a team expense only to find out you will still need to reimburse the company for an unauthorized expense. You also find none of your co-workers knows who you are nor remember any meal.
2 If your boss is out of the office, do not think of bending the alcohol rules for the monthly birthday celebration. If you do, At best the same weenie will rat you out to the boss. At worst, you will have sponsored the best birthday party ever experienced by the team, but unfortunately the party was finally broken up by a city SWAT team after HR and security gave up trying to restore order. Subsequently every attendee claimed to have been drugged without their knowledge and your fingerprints are all over the punch bowl.
1 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you are able to take all the days off. If you do, at best you will not be discovered missing until someone needs a stapler which you have the only one in the office. At worst, you will not be missed until your boss returns early to deal with a problem with one of your accounts due to the fact that the client called the president of the company since they could not reach you. Good luck in the new job hunt.
Yes, it is Friday at last. Seems just a short time ago it was Monday. I know….delusional. Each week gets me closer to the finish of my third book. (Well, really my forth. The first is still holding the laundry room door open) It is this stage of writing that begins to work on the nerves. The ending is clear and all that has to be done is to work up to it in a reasonably organized way. What happens? Some character decides to extend some piece of the story and now there is chaos in the writer’s room. Damn Just when I thought the whole thing was a done deal a new twist pops up. I guess it is better this way than having no way to get to the end. Today’s JohnKu (a term coined by Words4JP) is about surprises. Hope you like it.
Wednesday story day has arrived. Ta Da. (you have to imagine the horn notes here) It is always nice to hit this milestone in the week. One of the reasons I enjoy Wednesdays is it is a day where I can pretty much write exclusively. Other chores on other days keep me away from the keyboard for a time. Wednesdays are pretty clear. I am about 65,000 words into my final John Cannon (who the hell is that you say? Tsk tsk) book in the trilogy. Once done I will be moving into a new story direction and will leave old John to bob on the Gulf with his seven million dollars and new sixty-five foot boat. Today’s story is named My Way and stars our old friend Frank. I hope you like it.
“So here is the thing. We need to get in and out without the alarm going off.”
“I understand that Frank. I just don’t know how we can pull that off.”
“We will do it my way.”
“What way is that?”
“You walk in with your shotgun under your coat. I come in behind you and grab one of the bank’s customers. I put a gun to their head and start screaming for everyone to get on the floor. I’ll throw in some swear words just to make sure they take me serious.”
“Oh, I think they will take you serious, but what’s to stop someone from hitting the silent switch.’
“Here is the beautiful part. You jump up on the counter and blow a hole in the back wall. Everyone will be so scared they won’t dare touch the switch.”
“You mean I have to fire the shotgun?”
“Yeah, what’s the problem?”
“I ain’t never fired it before.”
“Oh man. What the hell. Why didn’t you tell me that before we’re here in front of the bank?”
“I never thought I would have to shoot it.”
“Never have to shoot it. What the hell do you think we are doing?”
“Well, holding up banks.”
“Duh. Did you ever think you might have to shoot someone while holding up friggin’ banks?”
“No. Not really.”
“Crap. Let’s go back to Starbucks. We need a different plan. Maybe one that includes asking please when we order someone to fill the money bags.’
“You’re mad aren’t you Frank?”
“I’m beyond mad. Excuse me ma’am please kindly place all those greenbacks into the bag or I might have to raise my voice at you.”
Fiction Favorites is brought to you by the Fiction Thriller My GRL available on Amazon and where ever fine books are sold. It is offered in the ever cherished paper and ever popular e-book editions.
My GRL is the story of John Cannon a San Francisco Attorney who decides to take a leave of absence from the firm and buys a boat he names My GRL. John is unaware his boat has been selected by a terrorist group to be used to destroy a symbol of America’s greatness. His first hint of trouble is when he wakes up in the hospital and is told he was found unconscious next to the body of the young woman who sold him the boat in the first place. John is the only one standing between the terrorists and the successful completion of their mission.
This list was inspired by attending over 300 team building events in my corporate career. I hope you like it and find the advice useful for your next team building event. If you are in charge of team building events, I am begging you to stop holding team building events.
Ten Things Not to Do at a Corporate Team Building Event
10 If your company is having a team building event, do not think your team relationships will last. If you do, at best you will be seen as weak and someone to avoid. At worst, the next promotion will go to your new friend who explained to the boss how needy you are.
9 If your company has a team building event, do not fall for the old trust building exercise. If you do, at best your trust will not be reciprocated. At worst, you will place your trust in someone who in the end wants to see you dead.
8 If your company has a team building event, do not get paired with the boss. If you do, at best you will get low grades for being too subservient. At worst, your boss will think you are not made of the stuff originally thought and will introduce you to the meaning of the phrase persona non grata.
7 If your company has a team building event, do not believe the idea is to have fun. If you do, at best you will be the only one. At worst, the note taker will immediately label you as someone who does not take work seriously.
6 If your company has a team building event, do not believe the wearing apparel instructions. If you do, at best you and the company psychologist will be the only ones dressed in jeans and sweatshirt. At worst, the biggest boss on the planet will drop by the exercise to see how it is going and will enquire of your boss, “who’s the other psychologist?”
5 If your company has a team building event, do not try to be the best player in the skill competition. If you are, at best your boss will believe you have too much time on your hands. At worst, your boss will appoint you as team leader for the next team building event.
4 If your company has a team building event, do not think the free food and drinks are on an all you can eat buffet. If you do, at best you will be seen as someone who is obviously lacking self-control. At worst, your boss will wonder if you always take advantage of the company expense account and inform finance to conduct an audit of your expenses.
3 If your company has a team building event, do not think the truth hour is for telling the truth. If you do, at best you and the company psychologist will become simpatico. At worst, your boss will be counting the moments until you and they will be alone so that the longer term franchise you were counting on can be terminated.
2 If your company has a team building event, do not try to bring any new ideas during creative hour. If you do, at best your peers will poke enough holes in your idea to kill it. At worst, thinking outside the box will only convince your boss that perhaps your belongings should be in a similar container and both of you escorted out by security.
1 If your company has a team building event do not sing along when the psychologist puts the Queen CD in the player and “We Are the Champions”starts playing. If you do, at best your co-workers will think you are a throwback to the 80s. At worst, your boss loves “We Are the Champions” and your off note singing is making the neck hair stand up which will be a reminder to ask HR to have you transferred to Guam before the next team building event.
