Top Ten Things Not to Do on National Spaghetti Day

January 4, 2021January 3, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 125 Comments

Normally I would be doing a post on a historical event but this week was pretty slow in the History department. (Sorry, Susannah and Andrew) It just so happens that today is National Spaghetti Day. So I thought it would be fun to lay out some things not to do in celebration of spaghetti day.

Top Ten things Not to Do on Spaghetti Day

10 If you celebrate, do not wear white. If you do, at best, the sauce will be alfredo. At worse, you will be served a big bowl of sausage and basil. (good move, Martyn. You now look like the subject in a Lizzy Bordon reenactment.)

9 If you celebrate, do not reach for Tiny the WWF champ’s bowl of spaghetti. If you do, at best, have a $20 bill handy. At worst, Tiny, who has skipped several group sessions on his food aggression treatment plan, will grab your arm. (Looks like Tiny wants to separate you from the bowl, Malcolm. I think to drop it while your hand still works is good advice.)

8 If you celebrate, do not try to substitute Bucatini for spaghetti. If you do, at best, no one will see you make the switch. At worst, you’ll be having dinner with Guido Barilla. (You must understand, Marston. Guido is the president of Barilla pasta and does not take kindly to anyone fooling with his spaghetti. Looks like he has called his friend with the big car to take you home. Maybe.)

7 If you celebrate, do not toss your spaghetti against the wall to test for doneness. If you do, at best, you are in your own house. At worse, you are visiting your in-law’s new house. (I guess it goes without saying, Macauley, that the idea of spaghetti on the wall of a new house won’t be well received. I see your father in law going to his gun safe. That can’t be good.)

6 If you celebrate, do not try to twirl your spaghetti on a fork if you don’t know how. If you do, at best, you will be able to fit it in your mouth. At worst, you will be faced with a twirl the size of your head. (Now, what are you going to do, Maverick. You can’t fit it in your mouth, and there is no way to untwirl it. Might want to see if anyone wants to play basketball.)

5 If you celebrate, Do not think el dente means raw. If you do, at best, no one will show up for your meal. At worst, your guests all decide to go to the spaghetti house for dinner. (Seems a shame they all left you, Miska. That advice to read the box cooking directions was especially hurtful. )

4 If you celebrate, do not try to serve Five-Way Chili as an authentic spaghetti original. If you do, at best, there will be no spaghetti experts at the meal. At worse, you have invited Bobby Flay to dinner. (So what are you going to do now, Mace? Bobby keeps looking at his bowl of chili over spaghetti as if there should be more. I think carry out might be the best option.)

3 If you celebrate, do not try a new goat sweetbread pasta recipe. If you do, at best, your guests love sweetbreads. At worst, all your guests have to leave early. (The sad part, Mikhael, is your guests are all together in the ER. I don’t think you should join them for an after-dinner drink. It is ipecak all around)

2 If you celebrate, do not try to serve spaghetti for dessert. If you do, at best, you make it sweet. At worse, you’ll serve up your garlic special. (If your guests haven’t left by now, Mablevi. This concoction of spaghetti and garlic will drive them from the room. No, that chocolate sauce just makes it worse.)

1 If you celebrate, do not make funny animal pictures on everyone’s plate out of the spaghetti. If you do, at best, the sauce will cover them. At worst, your guests will slowly get the feeling that they should leave. (Funny thing about adults, Macbeth. Not many like having their food manipulated into characters. It’s that uncomfortable feeling about not knowing where your hands have been. Oh yes, and that spaghetti giraffe is positively creepy.)

Views of the Neighborhood – A Walk in the Park

January 3, 2021January 2, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

It is a pretty slow week in Lakeway, so I decided to get the bus ready and prepare a spread and have a picnic in the park. No moaning. I have prepared roasted chicken served with fingerling potato salad, chilled asparagus, hollandaise sauce, and charro beans to get you in the mood. For dessert, we are serving assorted napoleon pastries and homemade apple crisp. We have top-shelf drinks and Aubert Pinot Noir Sonoma Coast UV Vineyard 2018 for the red and Kistler Chardonnay Russian River Valley Vine Hill Vineyard 2017 for the white. Today’s entertainment guest is Mary Hopkin.

So let’s get on the bus and be off.

Views of the Neighborhood

Whoa. Stop the bus. Look at the buck just standing by the road.

Well, we can tell we are here. Everybody needs a mask.

In case you wonder how far is six feet.

Here we are by the lake. It will take a moment to set up the tent, lights, and sound system. So let’s all get off and take a stroll.

Looks like plenty of room for volleyball.

Getting closer to the lake, we can see an artist hard at work. A reminder not to dive off the cliff. Yeah, who would do that?

Here is another artist. Looks like a good day to paint.

There is the bandstand where mary Hopkin will perform.

Have a nice jungle Jim for those who are interested.

So make yourself at home. The drinks and food are ready, and Mary’s ready to sing. I hope you all have a great week, and thanks for coming to our picnic.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “In the Corner”

January 2, 2021January 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. If you would like to join this group, visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2021 Daily Prompt – Jan. 2nd

My goodness, Linda Hill, fresh from New Year’s Eve, is here. She is carrying a big envelope, which I assume is the prompt for this week.

“You are right, john. Happy New Year, and here it is.”

“Thanks, Linda. Can I open it?”

“How else are you going to know the prompt?”

“Well, at Christmas, I lost out on a Bentley Convertable.”

“But the note said do not open. There is no note this year.”

“I still feel like I’m in the corner, though.”

“Go ahead, open it.”

“Okay. I’ll read it out loud.”

“Don’t make any mistakes.”

“Gee, whiz. You know how to put someone further in the Corner.”

“My job. Read it.”

“Ahem. Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: ‘in the corner.’ Write about whatever the image or thought of ‘in the corner’ brings to mind. Have fun!”

“Would you look at that.”

“I didn’t need an image I had you.”

“There you go. Well, my job is done here. Have a good week.”

“I think my job is done too. Thank you, Linda.”

“Oh, about that Bentley turbo.”

“Yes?”

“You need to work harder.”

“Good advice. Sheesh. Watch that screen door.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – A Brand New Year

January 1, 2021December 31, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

“Happy New Year, Twiggy.”
“Gee Lucy. It doesn’t seem much different out here.”
“But it is a New Year.”
“That’s true. Happy New Year, Lucy.”

Well, here it is at last. The new year with all the hope that the crap from 2020 has been wrung out of our collective crying towel.

Yeah, it feels good to have a new slate. We have to remember that change is not a matter of flipping the calendar. It will take time to ease into what I hope will be the NEW NORMAL. You know where we can all move around without fear. Where we stop calling each other names. Where the radical left and right just go away. Where world peace becomes a priority. Where we can think and plan on the future. Where Congress pulls its collective head out of the place where the sun don’t shine. Where people are viewed as individuals and not generalities. Where opportunity is available to all, who are willing to invest to reach their dreams.

Well, it’s a tall bit of expectation for the new normal. If you share the ideal, I hope you will work to make it happen. Happy New Year

Today’s JohnKu talks about the new year. I hope you all have a great weekend.

It’s not just champagne,

Nor blowing horns with gusto . . .

The New Year is change.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy – New Years Eve

December 31, 2020December 30, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 82 Comments

“What are you doing, Twiggy?”

“I thought I would wake Lucy, and we could go outside and play.”

“Come on, you and I will go out.”

“You want to run and let me chase you?”

“I’m pretty sure you could catch me in an instant.”

“Okay. There was a ball down there last time I checked. We could play ball.”

“Good idea. The ball is right behind you.”

“I’m not talking about the soccer ball. There is a green ball.”

“I don’t see a green ball.”

“Well, see that is the ball Lucy and I like to play with. Why won’t she come out?”

“It is New Year’s Eve, and Lucy is resting up for the big show.”

“Show? What show?”

“At midnight, there is a big ball that drops in Times Square, signaling that a New Year has arrived.”

“Can’t people just look at their watch to know it is after midnight? Okay, throw the soccer ball, and I’ll chase it.”

“Hmmm. Come to think about it, that is some distance. If I’m going to stay up till midnight, I will need to rest too.”

“So you aren’t going to get the ball.”

“Nah. I think I’ll join Lucy.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Well I hope you rest up you two. We certainly want to make sure 2020 is gone.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

December 30, 2020December 29, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

“So why are you sitting on a mat by the Christmas tree?”
“Trying to figure out how to get in there. The mat was just here.”
“Getting in there is not going to happen soon.”
“Soon is not forever.”

It is Wednesday Story Day, and last week, we found out Andre was killed by having his throat cut. As a few of you pointed out, there should be enough blood on the participants to raise suspicions. Let’s hope that is the case. Pricilla puts some stock in the idea that Carolyn could turn on her phone and then be tracked. If so, that would be a direct lift of the most obvious trope on the planet. No, my friends, I think we are stuck till something breaks. Pricilla went to make a call last week, and now she is back. Let’s go and see if anything has come up.

“Before you go, Mr. Stannis, you should be aware that I talked to my contact, and it appears there was another body found in the train station.”

“What? Who was it?”

“So far, it is a John Doe, but we think it is the kid who was in the back seat. His hands and arms are covered with blood, and he took one shot to the head.”

“Oh, my God. These guys are not fooling around.”

“Yeah, it looks like the kid killed Andre and then was disposed of before anyone could grab him. He was found on the tracks under one of the train cars. He didn’t make it into the terminal.”

“He was shot, you say?”

“Yes. Real professional. So far, no one knows anything or saw anything.”

“Makes you wonder why the French didn’t lock down the station.”

“Yeah, Larry. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Too late for that now.”

“How about cameras. Any surveillance available?”

“Yes. Everyone who goes through passport control is photographed.”

“Well, maybe something will turn up there.”

“I wouldn’t count on it. If these guys could shoot and hide a body, it would be a no-brainer for them to stow Carolyn away somewhere in their vehicle.”

“You know they had a vehicle.”

“Well, no. It doesn’t make sense that they would be on foot-dragging a resisting victim.”

“Why didn’t the French check every vehicle leaving?”

“Another good question. They had decided to let all the cars that were in front of the blue Mercedes leave to minimize any colleterial injuries. My guess is Carolyn and her abductors were in one of the first cars to leave. The Mercedes did not move, and only after the agents saw the problem were all the other cars searched. “

“So, Carolyn and Cortez’s men are probably gone from the terminal.”

“My guess? Yes.”

“Now what?”

“I think we have to wait to hear from Cortez’s people.”

“Who are they going to call?”

“Again, I’m guessing, but I think Mr. Stennis here.”

“Me? Why would they call me?”

“With Mr. Popović in jail, I think they are smart enough to know he won’t have a phone.”

“How do they know I’m his lawyer?”

“You’ve represented him in the past, right?”

“Yes.”

“They know. You said you were going to leave. I think you should hang around to see if they call.”

“That fast? You think they will work that fast?”

“It could go either way. They might want to let Lazar know they have Carolyn and to keep his mouth shut.”

“Or?”

“They already know we are on to them and will want us to sweat a while. If we don’t hear pretty quick, you can go.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – “Compliment”

December 29, 2020December 28, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

Since Keith Channing is on a break, I thought it would be fun to make another finger point prompt. Today I randomly opened Eternal Road – The final stop and eyes wide shut pointed to a page. The word that was closest to my finger was “compliment.” That is the prompt for today.

“My you look nice today, sir.”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘my you look nice today.'”

“I heard what you said. I’m just a little confused as to why you said it. I don’t even know you.”

“I’m paying you a compliment. My name is Jim.”

“Yeah, okay, Jim. Any reason you are paying me a compliment?”

“I have made a New Year’s resolution to say something nice to everyone I meet.”

“Uh. That sounds like an admirable objective. It is a little offputting, though.”

“How?”

“With no context, when someone says, ‘My you look nice today,’ it is like you want something.”

“I was only paying a compliment, but now that you mention it.”

“What?”

“Could you loan me ten bucks.”

“See. This is exactly what I mean. You give me a compliment only to get what you want.”

‘Well, it is much better to be nice.”

“But the end result is the same.”

“I guess you are right. Okay, then does this make a difference?”

“W-what’s that?”

“Last time I looked a Glock 9mm. How about your wallet?”

“I think we should go back to nice.”

“Nah. You are right. This is a better way. I’m not even going to say thank you. It is the last of 2020. Maybe I’ll try my approach in 2021.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Opening of the Flamingo Hotel by “Bugsy Siegle in 1946.

December 28, 2020December 27, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 74 Comments

This week marks the 74th anniversary of the Flamingo Hotel opening in Las Vegas by Bugsy Siegle in 1946. Since Bugsy is a colorful character, we will want to go to this grand opening. We need to take our list of things not to do to avoid a tear in the time continuum. We have James’s Oldsmobile all gassed up and ready to go.

James Wainwright’s 1956 Oldsmobile from Eternal Road – The final stop. You should read this one on Amazon. Just click the car to go there. Hurry back.

10 If you go, do not pretend to be a gangster. If you do, at best, you won’t run into one. At worst, you’ll be playing the big shot only to run into George Raft. (A little secret, X. George is an excellent friend of Bugsy’s. Be careful he is reaching into his jacket. It might be for a cigarette case or a .45. Let’s hope for the coffin sticks. Oooh, bad choice of words.)

9 If you go, do not ask Tiny for a complimentary room. If you do, at best, Tiny never heard of that before. At worse, Tiny has skipped his last ten group sessions on customer service. (Don’t look now, X, but Tiny is going to treat you to an all-expense-paid trip to the curb. I hope your landing is softer than the last guy who asked for a complimentary room.)

8 If you go, do not call Bugsy by that name. If you do, at best, he won’t hear you. At worst, he’ll remind you that his name is Benjamin. (You see, X, Bugsy got the nickname for his volatile nature in his old days in Murder Inc with Meyer Lansky. He wants people to believe he is a businessman. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Bugsy wants to see you in his office. No, I wouldn’t go either.)

7 If you go, do not get chummy with Virginia Hill. If you do, at best, she won’t tell Bugsy. At worst, Bugsy will want to know all about it. (Virginia is Bugsy’s girlfriend, who he nicknamed Flamingo for her red hair and long legs. Does that name ring a bell, X? I would not accept a ride to the airport in Bugsys car if I were you.)

6 If you go, do not take the chair with Charles Luciano’s name card on it. If you do, at best, Charles couldn’t make it. At worst, Charles did make it and is looking at you. (For your information, X Charles’s nickname is Lucky. I think you have heard of Lucky Luciano, who heads the Eastern Mob Syndicate. He’s now wondering how you would like to tread water in Lake Mead wearing cement overshoes)

5 If you go, do not mention that you don’t recognize the headliner for tonight’s show. If you do, at best, people will think you are from the backwoods. At worst, Bugsy will start to get suspicious about where you came from. (Jimmy Durante and Xavier Cugat were among the biggest names in entertainment, X. Bugsy is now thinking you were complaining about the entertainment. Looks like his pals are inviting you out for a car ride. I would take a pass.)

4 If you go, do not complain to Billy Wilkerson, the current owner of record of the Flamingo, about Bugsy’s curt demeanor. If you do, at best, Bugsy doesn’t hear you. At worst, you are complaining while he is standing behind you. (Bugsy is the flamingo’s actual owner, X. It took a little money and some direct talk to persuade Billy to turn over control to Bugsy. There are those two guys again offering you a lift to the airport. I would take Uber. Wait, what am I saying?)

3 If you go, do not ask Bugsy how the grand opening is going. If you do, at best, he will be too busy to answer. At worst, you’ll cause him to look at the books. (In the first week of operation, the casino lost $300,000, X. That would be like $4,235,835.16 today. So no wonder Bugsy has that wild look in his eye. I think he blames you for asking the question.)

2 If you go, do not ask Bugsy what a “square count” is. If you do, at best, he will think you are joking. At worst, Bugsy will think you are working for Lucky Luciano. ( A square count, X is an honest report of actual costs and earnings. You now have Bugsy concerned in that he pretty much overinflated the cost of building the casino. It was supposed to cost $1,600,000 and ended up at over $6,000,000. You can bet Bugsy will want to keep you quiet. You have to wonder why that guy is hauling in that bag of cement.)

1 If you go, do not think you can stay at the Flamingo. If you do, at best there will be a room at another hotel. At worst, there are no rooms available in all of Las Vegas. (When the Casino opened, X, all the rooms were not finished. This was one reason the casino lost so much money. Gamblers who didn’t have a room took their winnings to a hotel on the strip and continued to gamble and mostly losing at another place. Bugsy closed the casino and then reopened in May of 1946, which made the difference.)

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Box”

December 26, 2020December 25, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday, and this week’s prompt is “box.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to join this outrageous group of using words any way we want, visit Linda’s blog, and you can read how easy it is. Here is the link.

/https://lindaghill.com/2020/12/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-26-2020/

“What are you doing?”

“Merry Christmas to you too.”

“That was yesterday. So what’s up.”

“I’m trying to figure out what to do with this box.”

“It is a big one for sure. Did your present come in this box?”

“I thought it was my present, but when I unwrapped it, there was nothing inside.”

“Not even a piece of coal?”

“Very funny.”

“Who gave you the present?”

“I don’t know it was sitting on my drive Christmas morning.”

“Any note?”