Today I randomly opened The Last Drive to page 133. I closed my eyes and pointed to the page. The word nearest my finger is fly. This is our prompt today.
This post was published on November 25th, 2013, by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Since Thanksgiving is almost here, it could prove useful now.
Top Ten Things Not to Do with Your Thanksgiving Turkey
10. If you get a live bird for Thanksgiving, do not let your kids dress it up as a pilgrim. If you do, at best, the bird might actually look good. At worst, you’ll probably be having carry out for dinner after the kids discover what is going to happen to their new best friend
9. If you decide to get a live bird for Thanksgiving, do not listen when it starts singing “gimmie three steps… gimmie three steps, mister… Gimme three steps toward the door.” Chances are that your kids are playing Lynyrd Skynyrd too loud, and you’ve already had too many celebratory drinks.
8. If you decide to get a live bird for Thanksgiving, do not watch the “Presidential Pardon” ceremony on TV with your kids. You will likely end up with the same problem as item #10.
7. If you decide to go hunting for your Thanksgiving turkey, be aware that the turkey population has ways of fooling you into shooting a cow or your hunting partner. The turkey won’t care who gets hurt as long as it’s not a turkey.
6. If you plan on deep-frying your Thanksgiving turkey, do not drop a cold, icy bird into a giant vat of hot peanut oil. If you do, at best, you will have an overflow of hot liquid that will take a lot of elbow grease to clean up. At worst, you may burn down your house.
5. If your turkey is still frozen on Thanksgiving, do not invent a game where the turkey is used as a bowling ball with empty beer bottles as pins. It may sound fun after you’ve had all those before-dinner drinks, but the clean-up of thawed bird and broken glass will be hell.
4. If you plan to serve fresh turkey on Thanksgiving, do not let the bird sit out as you would a frozen one. If you do, at best, you’ll wind up with a precooked bird. At worst, you will all wind up seeing the friendly ER doctor in the early morning hours.
3. If you plan to serve tofu turkey for Thanksgiving, do not try to dress it up to look like an actual turkey. Your guests won’t be fooled and might actually wonder if you have lost your mind.
2. If you find that your turkey is too big for the refrigerator, do not put it out in the cold garage on the roof of the car. If you do, at best, your cat may help itself, and you’ll have shredded turkey for dinner. At worst, you may forget the turkey is there until you’re making that frantic dash to the store for eggnog, at which point you slam on the brakes, your turkey rolls off the hood and into the street, and then is run over by a Hummer.
1. If you have leftover turkey for Thanksgiving, do not try to disguise it in other forms. You are not on “Chopped,” and good ole turkey is best served as itself.
Earlier in the summer the City of Lakeway dedicated the new playscape. At the time, other events were going on, so today we are going to visit the playscape. We are catered by Luties of Austin, and our entertainment is Rod Stewart.
Brunch menu
Fruits de Mer – east coast oysters, poached shrimp, crudo
A slight pop sound while getting out of bed is a reminder of the aging process. Who knows where that sound comes from, but it showed up one day, and it has become part of the morning routine. “COFFEE,” screams the brain, and the rush is on to supply the caffeine to put out the blinking red warning light and the Klaxon horn. Finally, the first sip provides a covenant with the screaming senses, and the warnings cease.
The new sound is the Westminster chimes of the doorbell. Another idiot who cannot read. A quick toss of two squeak toys and a slam of the door on the soundproof room put an end to the eardrum-bleeding cacophony of two dogs sounding like Igor’s baying hounds. Next, a check of the security monitor shows the images of what looks like Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog. The usual conversation about a delivery and signature is needed, so with a sigh, the security shutdown process is begun.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
Ralph hands me a clipboard and an envelope. I sign where indicated and return the clipboard. Sam steps between me and Ralph with his paw out in the universal way of asking for a tip. Thinking of what Serena Williams once said, “You have to believe in yourself when no one else does,” is my tip as I slam the door.
The envelope contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “pop.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
There’s something truly wonderful about the sympathy we humans have for dogs—such that when a rambunctious stray grinds traffic to a halt in a Massachusetts tunnel, the reaction is just that—to stop and wait for police to rescue it.
The wrong-way rover was spotted foxtrotting along the side of the Ted Williams Tunnel in Boston during rush hour.
The black-and-white j-walker managed to avoid being hit long enough for police to respond to the call of a Good Samaritan, who informed them about the tragedy waiting to happen.
Surveillance video from the Massachusetts Department of Transportation shows several police cars and other motorists stopped in a staggered group as a policeman alights to try and coax the dog into the back seat.
After a short game of “will I won’t I,” the dog hops in the car and traffic flow resumed unimpeded. The police said that a notice was issued regarding the dog, in case an owner had been looking for it.
Here’s the video.
The good news in this story is people cared to protect a living thing who was in danger. Today’s JohnKu talks about responsibility. I hope you have a peaceful weekend.
Today, we should pause to remember and thank those who served in the armed forces. Because of their service, we live and enjoy our freedoms.
If you know a vet, thank them for us. If you know a vet who is no longer with us, remember them and what they did for you. If you are a vet, thank you so much for your service and dedication to this great country.
This list was first published on September 16, 2013, by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Since American football is going strong, and you might be invited to a viewing party, this list may come in handy.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Invited to an American Football Viewing Party
10 When invited to a football party, do not show up in your favorite team’s uniform if the game that is being watched does not include your team. You will immediately let your host know that you have no interest in the game and that you only came to drink up the beer and eat as much of the food as possible.
9 When invited to a football party and asked to bring a dish, do not think you are fulfilling the host’s wish by hauling in a big bag of store-bought popcorn and a liter of diet soda. Actually, you won’t be fulfilling anyone’s wish with that contribution.
8 When invited to a football party and you are welcome to bring a guest, do not think this includes a stranger you grabbed off the street or a distant member of your family. The host probably intended you to bring a date or spouse and won’t appreciate feeding extraneous random people.
7 When invited to a football party and the host has no intention of starting a gambling pool, do not think it is your duty to correct what you think is an oversight. The host probably doesn’t want to put his guests on the spot to cough up a twenty, which they will ultimately lose.
6 When invited to a football party and none of the guests seem to understand fantasy football, allow them to remain blissfully unaware of the intricacies and complexity of the game that you and your office mates play every week.
5 When invited to a football party and you see that the host does not have a fifty-inch HDTV, do not offer to buy everyone a drink at the local sports bar just because it has four such TVs. Your tab may end up being more than you can afford, and your host may end up wrapping one of the TVs around your head.
4 When invited to a football party and the host does not have your brand of beer, do not turn up your nose and declare loudly: “Well, if you don’t have any, I’ll just have water.” Go ahead and sacrifice your delicate taste buds to the beer that resembles carbonated defrost, which your host is serving. After all, you don’t need to drink a barrel of it, although a barrel may be what you need to forget why you cared.
3 When invited to a football party and you need to describe a great play, do not pick up a curio and ask the crowd to imagine it as a football. It may be that the curio you just passed into the kitchen, which was dropped by your wide receiver, was a Fabergé egg handed down by your host’s great-great-great-grandmother.
2 When invited to a football party and you realize the game is the most boring thing you have ever watched, do not pick up the remote and change the channel to a movie. You may just offend not only your host but also the rest of the party. They may be reminded of the time the TV network cut off the last two minutes of the Super Bowl to air the movie Heidi. You take a chance on vigilante action.
1 When invited to a football party and the game is over, it should be your signal to leave. Do not wait for your host to switch off the TV and start clearing the living room of empty beer cups, pizza boxes, and paper plates of gnawed chicken wings. Your host is not making room for you and your guest to spend the night on the couch. They really want you to return to your own couch, no matter what they say.
We are returning to Lakeway City Hall to view the remainder of artist Adriana Peña’s collection, which is on display there. If you missed last week HERE is a link. We are catered by La Calamar of Austin. Our entertainment is Coldplay.
Menu
GOLDEN TILEFISH – almond, guajillo, brown butter
PAN ROASTED CHICKEN – sauce vin jaune, chestnut mushroom
24OZ LAMB BARNSLEY CHOP – magda squash, green olives
WAGYU FLAT IRON STEAK – cafe d’austin butter, poivrons
WAGYU HANGER STEAK – au poivre
ROASTED OYSTER MUSHROOM – bearnaise sauce
There’s the bus. Let’s go.
Here’s another view of the full installation.
Rising – Mixed Media.
Metallic Gold – Acrylic on paper.
Motion – Acrylic.
Big Bend Roar – Mixed media.
Golden Vision – Acrylic on canvas.
Canyon Country – Acrylic on canvas.
Canyon Land – Metallic
Big Bend Trip – Acrylic on canvas.
Tha artist.
That is the collection. Time now for food and drink. I hope you have a beautiful week.
