In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
The inspiration for this list came naturally from having decorated several houses over the years. I guess I could be guilty of some of these, but not all. I hope you enjoy it.
10 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not ignore the number of lights on a continuous string instruction on the lights. If you do, at best, you will trip a circuit breaker. At worst, you may take down the Eastern seaboard grid. (Who’s going to pay that bill, Caelan? Don’t forget the lawsuits that range anywhere from unwanted pregnancy to being trapped in an elevator.)
9 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not hire unlicensed contractors, especially if they are named Tiny, the WWF champ who just got out of confined anger management care. If you do, at best, you may get off with a broken window or two. At worst, you may find your lights wadded in a ball in your neighbor’s living room. (How were you to know your neighbor would yell at Tiny and tell him to turn down the rap music, Cane? Also, how would you know Tiny would jump through your neighbor’s roof and take out a floor and ceiling on his way to the living room. The big question to be answered now is where is Tiny and your neighbor?)
8 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not use the twenty-four-foot ladder to reach the peak of the roof. If you do, at best, you’ll be stopped by someone who loves you. At worst, you’ll plant that corner star just before your free fall to eternity. (Man. that was a mammoth first step down, wasn’t it Calder?)
7 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not think all garland is alike. If you do, at best, you’ll have a mismatched mess. At worst, just as you finish with the final strand and just before frostbite sets in, you will be told to change it. (You had the courage to go up on that ladder once, huh, Caly? How about now?)
6 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not think you must out-decorate your neighbor. If you do, at best, you’ll end up spending too much money. At worst, your neighbor increased his light and display capability last year when all the decorations were seventy percent off. (He has way too much stuff for you to finish on top, Carlton. You may take a lesson and wait for the sale and catch him next year.”
5 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not think everyone in the neighborhood likes all green lights. If you do, at best, there will be no comments. At worst, you will find a picture of your house on Facebook with the caption, “The most non-original decoration on the planet.” (Kinda hurts your feelings, doesn’t it? Cartland? Green is your favorite color.)
4 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not forget to fasten the decorations well. If you do, at best, there will be no wind. At worst, your decorations will be at the mercy of the nighttime winter winds. (It is no problem collecting your lights from the next-door neighbor, right Chadwick?)
3 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not forget to double-check the timer. If you do, at best, the lights will come on too early. At worst, the lights will come on at the right time but burn throughout the night (What would be even worse is they come on at six am and go off at six pm, Chas.)
2 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not use blow-up lawn decorations. If you do, at best, they look like piles of plastic during the day. At worse, the blow-up machine could get a short, and your blow-up decoration looks like an entry in the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. (Whoever thought Rudolf could get that big just before he exploded, Clemens?)
1 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not have Holiday music on an outdoor speaker. If you do, at best, your neighbors will complain. At worst, you unknowingly violated the town noise ordinance. (Not a good idea to tell the SWAT team to get off your property, Cleveland. Too bad about that new storm door.)
Today, we are visiting Lakeway City Hall, where an exhibit of artist Gordon A. Phillipson is underway. In fact, we are in time to attend a reception in his honor. We are being catered by L’Oca d’Oro of Austin. Our entertainment is Peter Paul and Mary.
A word about the photos. The lighting in the exhibition area is great for viewing the art but challenging for photographs. Please excuse the odd angles and what will appear to be uneven photos. I intended to get the best shot of the art, avoiding blub glare and ignoring the frames.
So, let’s all get on the bus
There is city hall. We need to go inside.
Refreshments are set up for the exhibit.
I want you to meet Gordon A. Phillipson – The talented and award-winning artist.
His bio is very impressive.
Titled: Sea Fury over Giza – A Hawker Sea Fury WWII British fighter
Titled: SB2c Helldiver over the Golden Gate Bridge – The Curtiss-Wright SB2c was an aircraft carrier-based bomber used by the Navy in WWII
Title: Mosquito Over London – The British De Haviland DH98 Mosquito was a multipurpose warplane used in WWII and was the fastest airplane in the World then.
Title: US Airmail Over the South Rim – The Swallow OX5 was built in 1928 and used for airmail stops in Idaho, Nevada, and Utah.
Title: Mikoyan-Gurevich Over Red Square – The Russian-made MIG 15 brought advanced swept wing design into the air combat role. Used during the Korean War with advanced versions as late as VietNam.
Title: Super Constellation Arrives in Paris – The Lockheed L-1049H flew on November 20, 1956. Called “Super H” and “Husky,” the L-1049H was a convertible passenger/freight aircraft
I hope you enjoyed the show. It is now time to relax, have some food, and enjoy the music.
The brew machine delivers a cup of steaming stuff faster than usual. There is more time to fool with the clock. The clock is in the pantry, and the pantry door closes after fetching it. Another dial appears on the back of the clock for the first time. There is a small clock face and a dial. The word ‘alarm’ is beside the face. Looking at my watch, the local time is nine o’clock. So if the alarm is set for Ten o’clock, it will give me an hour in the past.
The alarm is set, and the day and year are chosen: November 24, 1923. Now, to pull the pin to engage. Whoa, that was fast. According to the stadium sign, the location is Forbes Field. That’s a stadium that was in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It looks like the game is over since most are leaving. Inside is a giant scoreboard with the names Carnegie Tech and Visitor. It looks like the visitors won the game 23 to zero.
A program is on one of the seats, and the visitors have been identified. It is Knute Rockne’s Notre Dame football team. It looks like the game was a little one-sided. The local folks don’t look too happy, but the Notre Dame folks are all singing and laughing.
A guy from the radio station is interviewing Rockne, saying that the game didn’t reflect his team’s strength. He mentions that they could have done more but decided to allow some first-year members to get some experience. That seems reasonable since, for Notre Dame, the score seems modest indeed.
A bell goes off, and my living room replaces Forbes Field. In my hand, the program has turned into a message from Linda Hill. It reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “something that closes.” Write about the first thing that pops into your head that closes. Enjoy!
Unrelated teenage surfers rescued swimmers from drowning off the south coast of Australia on two separate occasions last week, proving that while the stereotype of young surfers is one of laxness, it isn’t all a bad thing.
It was November 18th when six friends aged between 12 and 15 were boogie boarding on Kiama Beach in the Australian state of New South Wales. Just 20 minutes after rescue personnel finished their shift and went home for the day, they became aware via screaming that 6 people had been swept hundreds of meters out to sea in a rip current.
A mom with her three young daughters and two young women were all caught in the violent water, leaving buddies Max Laird, Braith Davidson, George Griffin, Harrison Smee, Alex Norris, and Zach Marsden as the only entity on the beach able to affect a rescue.
Luckily, these strapping young lads are all members of the Kiama Surf Life Saving Club, and Harrison, the oldest of the crew at 15, led them back to dry land on their boards to save some lives.
George described the event as “shocking” but told ABC News Australia that “we just had to do what we could.”
“I got to an 8, 9-year-old kid called Matt, and by the time I got to him, he was completely underwater, just his hand above the surface of the water, so I was pretty worried,” said George.
Harrison, George, and their comrades rescued all 6 girls, just nights after another group of surfers on another beach rescued another person—this time a distressed teenage boy swimming alone after safety patrol hours.
Rescue on Jones Beach – supplied to ABC by Lucas Mak
This rescue, which took place on Jones Beach about 2 miles north of Kiama Beach, was carried out by high schoolers Lucas Mak, George Kalajzich, and Dax Cairncross, who used a surfboard to reach the drowning fellow who had also been caught in a “rip” as they call it Down Under.
Lucas and his friends – supplied to ABC by Lucas Mak
“We met the guy out in the rip and started paddling back to the shore slowly. He couldn’t really walk, so his mates picked him up,” Lucas said.
A spokesman for the Surf Life Saving Club said that the rescues were a testament to the awareness, bravery, and focus that can be shown even by young people when given the proper training, as the youngest rescuer was 12 years old.
The good news here is that the stereotyped behavior of teens is just that, a stereotype. Today’s JohnKu talks about stereotypes. I hope you have a great weekend.
“Twiggy is in her soft prison cell with her Benny wishbone and has a wish for you.”
“Thanks, Dad. I am speaking from my position of exile here in my place of incarceration. Even though I’m denied some of the finer things of life, I am grateful for the gourmet food, the roof over my head, and my two times-a-day exercise periods. I know this isn’t forever, so I keep smiling and pestering the jailers as much as possible.
My wish for you today is that you have a very Happy Thanksgiving surrounded by those you love, just like me. Dad has closed comments, and we all hope you enjoy the day.”
Last week, Teagan Geneviene posted a delightful challenge, which was to have a character post a diary entry. The reason for the entry was to develop the character further and add to the author’s understanding of the character’s personality. By clicking on Teagan’s name, you can go see the post. It is really worth the visit.
As many of you know, my last two books, Eternal Road and The Last Drive, have Lucifer himself as a central character. He has to be the penultimate protagonist. Like most characters, Lucifer has a side of him that even the author may not know about. I thought it would be fun to look in his Diary (hopefully without being caught) to see if there is something about Lucifer we may learn.
Thanks to Teagan for the prompt.
November 2023
Dear Diary,
Here, we are facing another bleak holiday season. I don’t know about you, but if I had my way, I would eliminate all the humans and their overdone attempts at mirth. However, I always need to remind myself when I think of such a drastic measure that eliminating humans would leave a paucity of souls to torture. I guess I can only dream. Ha.
On another note, Dear Diary, I must make an appointment with my psychologist. I was a bit harsh when I stormed out of his office and banned him to the lower ring. He is such a nudge, though. I don’t think he knows how annoying those “So how did that make you feel?” questions are. I know how the hell I feel. I want him to tell me what it is I should be feeling. I’ll tell you that Sigmund Freud was lucky he squeaked into heaven. I would have him by the neck right now.
Am I that difficult to get along with, Dear Diary? Almost everyone I run into can’t wait to get out of my sight. Do you think I should do something about my appearance? Maybe it’s not me at all, but their insecurities about having blown the Earthy test. I just wish I could have a conversation without all the shaking and knee-knocking. I almost feel sorry for them.
I’m wondering if I should have some kind of office party. No, Dear Diary, not in celebration of you know who’s birthday but just to get to know folks better. I mean, if we all had a chance to meet informally, maybe the knee-knocking and shaking would become a thing of the past. Of course, who am I kidding? I’m the Lord of the Underworld, and folks should be afraid. In fact, if I go on like this next year, please remind me of my place.
I wonder how long some mistletoe would last in this heat? Enough for now, Dear Diary. I hear the arrival horn indicating a new set of miscreants needing a welcome. I think I’ll put on the Hermes red suit. I find folks are much more calm when they see that. That snake with wings outfit really shakes them up. No, Dear Diary, we will leave the pitchfork for another day. I might do a silk pocket square, though. Got it at Neiman’s.
“Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
The inspiration for this list is the fact that this week is Thanksgiving here in the US. There have been several Thanksgiving situations that I personally witnessed, and I thought it would be fun to capture them and provide ample warning for your occasion this year. If you have ever done any of these things, it might be a nice change to sit back and let others have center stage this year.
10 On Thanksgiving, do not try to prepare the perfect Turkey. If you do, at best, you’ll have reason to cry. At worst, not only is this year’s turkey not perfect, it is the worst one ever. (Nothing like eating what resembles dry balsa wood, huh, Chandler?)
9 On Thanksgiving, do not invite your cousin Tiny, the WWF wrestling champ, to your house for dinner. If you do, at best, you’ll possibly get by with only a broken dining room chair. At worst, Tiny and your uncle Jim will continue the feud that began last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. (Who is going to clean up what looks like a movie bar fight scene in your living room, Cohen? Not to mention reviving Aunt Helen.)
8 On Thanksgiving, do not try out that experimental stuffing recipe on the family. If you do, at best, you’ll have plenty left over. At worst, the family will feel cheated out of a traditional dinner. (Who started the food fight is not a question that needs an answer right now, Canyon. It is probably more important to get that stuff off the walls before it hardens.)
7 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can deep-fry your Turkey in the kitchen. If you do, at best, your place will smell like an oil derrick for a month. At worst, the fire department will declare what’s left of your house and lot a hazardous waste site. (Who is going to cover the EPA bill for clean-up, Channing?)
6 On Thanksgiving, do not think it is a good idea to start serving mimosas at eleven o’clock. If you do, at best, you’ll run out of Champaign before everyone is blitzed. At worse, all your guests have lost interest in the dinner and are out in the yard trying to work off the Champaign with touch football. (Don’t worry, Cortez. Sooner or later, they will be back for the leftovers.)
5 On Thanksgiving, do not try some unnatural seating configuration, thinking it will liven the conversation. If you do, at best, you won’t seat sworn enemies next to each other. At worst, since you now have strangers all having to talk to strangers, the sound of crickets is deafening. (That magazine suggestion doesn’t seem all that good right now, does it, Cord?)
4 On Thanksgiving, do not think everyone in the world would enjoy a tofu turkey. If you do, at best, the polite ones will give it a try. At worst, you will wonder why all your guests are on the phone ordering Domino’s delivery. (The fact that you were looking out for everyone’s health doesn’t seem worthwhile now, Cable.)
3 On Thanksgiving, do not think because you hate pumpkin pie, everyone else does as well. If you do, at best, your banana creme will be well received. At worst, the traditionalists will find an excuse to leave early so they can pick up a frozen Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie. (Hare to believe you only have one guest remaining, isn’t it, Cacey?)
2 On Thanksgiving, do not think sharing leftovers is not expected. If you do, at best, you’ll get some strange looks as people leave. At worst, your loudest relative will ask out loud, What? No leftovers to take home? (Maybe you should have put together some to-go containers, Cadell. Well, there is always next year if any return.)
1 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can turn off the football game. If you do, at best, you’ll have some complaints. At worst, you will discover most of the guests in your bedroom watching the game anyway. (It is shocking that people want to watch a game even if it is the two worst teams playing. Right, Cadell?)
