Today, I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 141. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger was “document.” This is our prompt.
“They won’t let me stay there until I get a complete bill of health.”
“You look healthy.”
“I know. The parents are pretty upset.”
“About what?”
“Well, they wanted me to go to camp, as you know.”
“You still can after the doctor’s visit.”
“That’s just it. The doctor can’t see me until next week.”
“So?”
“The camp starts this week.”
“Still, you can go to the next session.”
“That’s true, but the parents had planned to go on a trip while I was away.”
“Can’t they postpone a week?”
“I heard them say something about no refunds on the tickets.”
“Yeah, that does hit hard. You wanna come stay at my house?”
“You’d better ask your parents before the offer.”
“Nah. Here’s how we play it. We’ll go to my house, and I’ll look all excited to have you there.”
“What does that do?”
“My parents will feel sorry for you and let you stay until they can contact your parents. Once they do, hopefully, your parents will let mine know the fix they are in. My parents will offer to keep you. Problem solved.”
“Sounds great. Just one hitch.”
“What’s that?”
“How will they be able to contact my parents?”
“Your collar.”
“Huh?”
“Your phone number is on your collar. Now, let’s go.”
This post was published on April 14, 2014, by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Opening day is coming, so we’d better get prepared.
Top Ten Things Not To Do When Attending the Opening Day of Baseball
10. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not dress like you would at the playoffs. If you do, at best, a Good Samaritan will loan you a coat. At worst, you might need to be treated for hypothermia, frostbite, or both.
9. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not sit in an uncovered seat, even if you consider yourself a bleacher bum. If you do, at best, you might just get rained on. At worst, you will get caught under a ton of snow or hailstones and will require rescue by the ski patrol.
8. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not start a fire to keep warm. If you do, at best, you’ll be pressed by a bunch of strangers all trying to get warm, too. At worst, the league might just present you with an invoice for $100M to replace the stadium, which burned to the ground before the end of the game.
7. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not think Brandy will help keep away the cold. If you do, at best, you may only forget where you came in. At worst, you might see yourself on the nightly news being dragged off the field by several policemen while you yell, “Hey, ump, you blind?”
6. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not think you can hide from your boss since you told a fib about where you would be. If you do, at best, your boss will be in the next row, and you’ll have to spend the entire game hunkered down and quiet so you don’t get his attention. At worst, it will be your luck to be featured as the fan of the day on the nightly news, which your boss never misses.
5. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not attend the game with anyone of the opposite sex without telling your significant other. If you do, at best, you will run into a neighbor who will wonder who is with you, which will remind you to text your significant other, so there will be no unpleasant surprises when you get home. At worst, the giant gametron will catch you both sharing a laugh and will surround you with one of those annoying hearts demanding that you kiss, which, if you do because you both indulged in the brandy of #7, will be featured on the nightly news your partner never misses.
4. When attending the opening day of baseball, as a company team building function, do not force everyone to join you in eating a bag of peanuts just because it is mentioned in the song. If you do, at best, you might have problems with co-workers at work the next day. At worst, you might be named in a class action suit by those who are grossly allergic to peanuts.
3. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not bring a mitt thinking you will catch a ball. If you do, at best, people will think you’ve lost your mind. At worst, you may be the subject of an intervention by family members concerned with your ability to grasp reality unless you actually catch a ball.
2. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not root against the home team. If you do, even if you like the visitors, at best, you will have some grumpy people around you. At worst, you could find yourself wishing you had a warm towel to go with the ice-cold beer on your head.
1. When attending the opening day of baseball, do not think the players can’t hear your insults from the stands. If you do, at best, you might get a classic gesture from one of the players that implies you should be mated. At worst, you might encounter a phalanx of very big players in the parking lot, all interested in giving you a personal remembrance of the game in the form of eyes that resemble the Raccoon mascot.
Today, we are celebrating the arrival of signs of Spring here in the neighborhood. We are catered by Restaurant François of Austin. Our entertainment is Elvis.
The distance to the coffee machine feels like a climb of Mount Everest. The low caffeine warning klaxons in my brain, accompanied by a flashing red sign that screams, “Warning, Will Robinson.” The machine finally gives up the coffee, and the first sip turns off all the warnings. As we know, the second sip will start a whole new problem with Westminster Chimes and the Hounds of Baskerville. The decision is made to put off the second sip in favor of watching the security monitor for an intruder. After a few minutes, it seems safe to take the second sip. The cacaphony of chimes and barking hits immediately. A big bone thrown into the soundproof room and a slam of the door put an end to the high-pitched, eardrum-destroying St Louis barking.
A look at the monitor shows the idiot who pushed the doorbell. It is the robot from Lost in Space. There is no question that the door needs to be opened. With a sigh and a chug of the rest of my coffee, the shutdown process begins.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The MH-60 Jayhawk Helicopter hovering over the house is diverted. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The Tasmanian Devil is directed to the food in his cage, and the door drops. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
“Attention, John Howell, there is an envelope here for you. Please sign where indicated.” The robot hands me a clipboard and an envelope. After signing and passing the board back, the robot says, “Thank you, John Howell. An appropriate tip for the service is five dollars.” “I have no cash,” is my response. “VENMO or PayPal are accepted, and I just read your account from your phone. Thank you for the tip.” With that, the robot turns and makes its way to the street. The door is shut, and the system is rearmed. Inside the envelope is a message from Linda Hill, which reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “distance.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
A small dog left behind at a busy Las Vegas airport earlier this month has found a new home with the police officer who helped rescue him. This closes a case that sparked widespread attention online and across local news outlets.
Abandoned Airport Dog ‘JetBlue’ Finds Forever Home
The dog, a 2-year-old goldendoodle/mini poodle mix named JetBlue, was adopted by a responding officer from the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. This comes weeks after the pup was discovered alone at a ticket counter at Harry Reid International Airport.
Airport staff reported the abandoned animal to police, prompting an officer to respond to the terminal. Authorities said the dog appeared healthy but had been left without food, water, or supervision. Animal control later transferred JetBlue to a rescue organization for evaluation and temporary care.
According to local reports from KSNV, Officer Skeeter Black, the officer who handled the initial call, stayed in contact with rescuers throughout the process. After JetBlue was medically cleared and placed on adoption hold, Officer Black formally applied to adopt him. The parties involved finalized the adoption days later.
Officials described the outcome as a positive resolution to a case that initially raised concerns about animal welfare and passenger safety inside one of the nation’s busiest airports. Photos shared by police showed the dog settling comfortably into his new home.
How JetBlue Was Found Abandoned at the Airport
JetBlue’s story began when airport employees noticed a small dog tied near a ticketing area without an owner present. Surveillance footage reportedly showed a woman leaving the terminal without the animal.
Police said the dog had been left with a collar and leash, but no immediate access to water or care. Officers secured the area before removing the animal from the public space. Authorities then coordinated with animal services to ensure proper handling and medical checks.
Rescue workers later identified the dog as a designer breed mix, often sought after for its hypoallergenic coat and friendly temperament. Veterinarians confirmed JetBlue was not microchipped at the time he was found, which complicated efforts to identify the owner quickly.
The case drew attention on social media, where users shared images and updates in hopes of locating the person responsible. Local animal advocates also used the exposure to highlight the dangers of abandoning pets in public places, especially high-traffic transportation hubs.
Owner Arrested in Airport Abandonment Case
Image: @lvmpd via Instagram
Law enforcement later identified and arrested the suspected owner in connection with the incident. Police said the individual faces charges related to animal abandonment and cruelty under Nevada law.
Investigators used surveillance footage, travel records, and witness statements to track the suspect. Officials allege the person attempted to board a flight without the dog and left the animal behind when airline policies prevented travel with the pet.
Animal welfare organizations noted that abandonment cases often increase around travel periods, when pet owners encounter unexpected airline restrictions or fees. Authorities urged travelers to plan ahead and confirm pet transport rules before arriving at airports.
The good news in this story is that the dog found a loving forever home. Today’s JohnKu talks about big-hearted people. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Today I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 121. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. My finger fell closest to the word “hands,” which is our prompt today.
“They play it all the time where I work. Well, where I used to work.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“No, it’s okay. I left voluntarily.”
“Why did you leave?”
“The work environment was getting more and more hectic.”
“How so?”
“Well, we used to put on two shows a day.”
“Wait a minute. Shows?”
“Yeah, I work in the entertainment business.”
“So, go on.”
“We also had Mondays off.”
“What happened?”
“Our place was bought by a huge company, and they needed more revenue.”
“What did they do?”
“The first thing was a move to three shows a day.”
“Oof. That is tiring.”
“Then Mondays off went away.”
“Wow. So what did you do in the show?”
“The usual. High dives, waves. Played the horn, juggled balls.”
“You were a clown then?”
“I felt like one.”
“Not to get too personal, but how did you get away?”
“It was easy. I waited until everyone was gone and then went from the big pool, down a water slide, into the little pool, then to the beach, and here I am.”
“You are not afraid to be on your own?”
“Not having to sit up, clap my flippers, and honk for fish? I am delighted to be on my own. Besides, I met you, and life is good.”
“Just watch out for the sharks, and you’ll be okay. Let’s hit the kelp. There is a nice school of redfish that hangs out there.”
This post ran on March 24th, 2014, and was written by Marie Ann Bailey and me. I hope you like it.
Top Ten Things Not To Do When Choosing To Adopt a Pet
10. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not go to the animal shelter without your significant other to help you make a decision. If you do go without your significant other, at best, your significant other will forgive you for bringing home a cat with an ear-piercing howl and buy you both a lifetime supply of earplugs so you can at least sleep through the night. At worst, your significant other may start talking about the need to “see other people, particularly people without cats.”
9. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not assume that just because Newfoundland puppies are cute and a perfect size for cuddling, they will always be a perfect size for cuddling. If you do, at best, you may learn to not mind when you get pushed off the bed when your grown-up, 130-pound Newfoundland stretches out next to you. At worst, you may have to design a harness and pulley system to get your grown-up, 130-pound Newfoundland off your lap.
8. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not think that just because the ferrets at the pet store were all asleep during your visit, the one you picked will spend most of its time sacked out. If you do, at best, you won’t mind playing daily games of hide-and-seek as your ferret playmate finds new places to hide in your home. At worst, you may find that the new places to hide involve the ferret eating holes in your upholstery, forcing you to buy a new suite of living room furniture every week.
7. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not think that your regular vacuum cleaner will suffice for cleaning up the hair shed by the white Himalayan cat you desire. If you do, at best, you will be properly advised, causing you to purchase a top-of-the-line model. At worst, you may have to learn to live with your brown velour furniture looking like it’s been blanketed in snow.
6. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not think that bringing home a python will do much to improve your social life. If you do, at best, you and the animal control officer who was called out to your house after your neighbors complained may fall in love, and together you will find a proper home for the python. At worst, you may be confronted by a mob of your neighbors after your python repeatedly escapes and the small animals in your neighborhood disappear.
5. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not think that cats are more hygienic than dogs. While that may be true in general, at best, you may find your new cat poops outside its litter box only when you provide food it doesn’t like (and thereby quickly trains you to give it what it wants when it wants it). At worst, your cat may eventually eschew the litter box altogether, causing you to invest heavily in wee-wee pads and kitty diapers and daily meditations of “Fluffy is a good kitty. Fluffy is a good kitty.”
4. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not assume that little Fido’s incessant yipping is something he will simply outgrow. If you do, at best, you may wind up deciding that you no longer need a security system for your home since Fido emits a series of high-pitched yips at every movement behind your door or window. At worst, you may invest in a series of expensive sessions to train Fido not to yip only to learn that Fido is as Fido does—YIP!
3. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not assume that simply training your German Shepherd Gunther to obey commands gets you a pass at keeping your dog on a leash in public places. If you do, at best, joggers will quickly learn to stop running when they see Gunther, so he will not chase them as you call in vain for Gunther to “Heel!” At worst, the next jogger whose crotch Gunther sticks his nose into will be an employee of the police force who will be more than happy to write up a series of citations against you and to confiscate Gunther for conscription into the police dog unit.
2. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not assume fish would be a good choice if you live in an apartment where pets are not allowed. If you do, at best, your landlord never visits your apartment, and you manage to keep your relationship with George, your Oscar cichlid, a secret. At worst, your landlord may catch you in the elevator with the new aquarium for George, which you had to buy because he doubled in size, and your landlord doesn’t buy the story that you plan to use the aquarium for a sitz bath.
1. When choosing to adopt a pet, do not think you will be able to stop at just one. If you do, at best, you may learn to accept the fact that animals will gravitate toward a warm heart and a safe home, meaning you and yours. At worst, you will find yourself having to make accommodations for your pets in your will, since, as you get older, your willingness to rescue abandoned animals has grown.
Today, we are going to take a brief walk in the park to celebrate Black History Month. Lakeway has 27 stations on the walk. Time and space will only allow us to give you a taste of what is available. If you want to see them all, you can go hereand here. We are catered by Corner Restaurant of Austin.
Menu
All American – scrambled eggs, crispy breakfast potatoes, sausage or bacon, sourdough toast
