I am back from my break and want to say I accomplished plenty. I was able to complete my manuscript and got a long way into the first edit. I also had a scare on Thursday. I fired up my Mac, and my Word app was missing, along with a whole week of edits. (No, I didn’t save it in several places like I usually do.) Panic was replaced by research by The Producer, and by reinstalling Word, all was recovered. (Whew)

It is good to be back. I missed you all, and I’ll be around to see you as usual.

This post ran on April 23, 2018. I think it still might be helpful.

Top Ten Things to Never Throw Away When Organizing

The inspiration for this list is wondering why we hang onto things in case they may come in useful someday. This list tries to understand the motivation for holding onto items that may be past their point of usefulness.

10 When organizing, do not throw away that eight-track cassette player. If you do, at best, you’ll hate yourself in the morning. At worst, you’ll see that very same model for sale on eBay, and the last bid is $10,000. (Well, that will teach you to be impetuous after twenty-five years of storage, huh, Eric?)

9 When organizing, do not throw away that autographed photo of Tiny, the WWF champ. If you do, at best, it will be well hidden in a black plastic bag. At worst, Tiny just started as your garbologist after being released from self-esteem therapy and discovers the photo at the bottom of your trash can. (I’ll bet you can guess why he is pounding on your front door, can’t you, Emmanuel? Here is a hint. Grab those running shoes and head out the back door. Your house and belongings can be replaced.)

8 When organizing, do not throw away that hand-knit Christmas turtleneck sweater Aunt Helen gave you when you were thirteen. If you do, at best, no one will know. At worst, you realize your mistake at the reading of Aunt Helen’s will where she leaves you her entire fortune if you wear the sweater once a week for a year. (Looks like she suspected you didn’t like it, Edward. Too bad you tossed it last week.)

7 When organizing, do not throw away those naked pictures of you at the beach. If you do, at best, you shredded them first. At worst, you suddenly discover them on Tumblr on a site called “Naked and Crazy.” (Better think of a good story, Elias, since HR wants to talk to you about a “morals clause” violation in your employment contract.)

6 When organizing, do not throw away old tax records. If you do, at best, your town’s dump is very secure. At worst, you realize when you are shopping at the food store, and your card is denied that you no longer are the only person with your social security number. (It looks like those stocks, bonds, and bank accounts are gone, too, Eugene. It looks like you need to call the police.)

5 When organizing, do not throw away all your children’s school drawings and report cards. If you do, at best, they won’t care. At worst, your children will want those items to relive their experiences with their kids. (Now, what are you going to do, Erik? I suppose you could try to recreate the drawings from memory. Better yet, ask the neighbor if you can borrow theirs.)

4 When organizing, do not throw away that old portable TV. If you do, at best, you’ll never miss it. At worst, you’ll need it to see the last half of the Final Four Championship game since your internet and cell service went down. (Now, aren’t you sorry you relied on twenty-first-century technology, Enzo? Just think, you could have seen the game finish on that twentieth-century set with the rabbit ears. Now you have to wait to read the news.)

3 When organizing, do not throw away that almost new tire that you had to take off your 1978 Chevrolet to replace the front two. If you do, at best, your current car will have bigger wheels. At worst, you will have a blowout on your new vehicle, which has no spare. (See, you could have at least used that tire as a temporary solution, Earl. Well, maybe not.)

2 When organizing, do not throw away that power tool that quit working twelve years ago. If you do, at best, your new device will keep working. At worst, your new gadget will need a small clip that broke, which is unavailable at the parts store but was intact on the one you threw away. (Come on, Emiliano, this would never happen in a million years.)

1 When organizing, do not throw away those worn-out shoes. If you do, at best you’ll enjoy the closet space. At worst, once they are gone, you realize you have nothing to wear to mow the lawn and work in the garden. (Well, now, Elvin, you have a triage problem on your remaining shoes. I know there are some favorites in there, but you gotta make a choice.)

This post ran on April 30th, 2018. It still provides good advice on handling Murphy’s law.

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Top Ten Things Not to Do According to Murphy’s Law.

The inspiration for this list was thinking of all the things we do on a daily basis that someone else has done before. This naturally brought up the idea of mistakes and how often they are repeated throughout history. Then, the thought turned to specific laws governing natural phenomena. An example would be Newton’s law of gravity. “What goes up, Must come down” was inspired by an apple falling on Newton’s head. (or so the story goes.) Finally, turning to other laws prompted the inspection of specific laws, particularly Murphy’s. The law, “What can go wrong will.” After all, some of the laws of science are way too boring for this kind of blog. I hope you enjoy it.

10 According to Murphy’s Law, do not drop a much-needed and irreplaceable hex screw being installed in your current project. If you do, at best it will roll under the bench. At worst, it will drop into a drain opening, never to be seen again. (Might as well buy another widget for $300.00, Etienne. You’ll never be able to buy a replacement screw that would be ten cents if available.)

9 According to Murphy’s Law, do not buy that horse. If you do, at best, you love it forever. At worst, you’ll want to sell it, and there are no buyers. (The sad part, Emeril, is it will outlive you.)

8 According to Murphy’s Law, do not pick a fight with Tiny, the WWF champ. If you do, at best, Tiny has achieved a new state of Nirvana and will bless you. At worst, you have to come to grips with the fact you are no Bruce Lee. (Looks like those running shoes will get another great workout today, Ellison. You go, man.)

7 According to Murphy’s Law, do not handle that expensive crystal vase. If you do, at best, you catch it before it hits the floor. At worst, before you can even think of an excuse, you hear, “What was that breaking sound?” (You should have memorized Murphy’s constant, Eduard. “Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.”)

6 According to Murphy’s Law, do not park your car on the street. If you do, at best, you‘ll only have bird-dropping problems. At worst, that Russian Satellite reentering the Earth’s atmosphere conveniently has your car coordinates as a landing site. (You could never imagine this happening, Earvin. That piece of space junk was supposed to burn up. Murphy’s law of falling objects had this covered with “A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.”)

5 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to paint a room without an adequate cover on the carpet. If you do, at best, you’ll catch every drip. At worst, you’ll only discover the dried paint drips after being pointed out by the person who told you to use an adequate cover. (Good luck, Emil, at the carpet store and that overnight arrangement in the spare room.)

4 According to Murphy’s Law, do not be careless with that expensive power tool while on a twelve-foot ladder. If you do, at best, when it falls, the cord will hook on something and prevent ground contact. At worst, you’ll be working over concrete, and the cord does not hook to prevent ground contact. (So Father’s Day will be here before you know it, Edmond. Of course, maybe the family is tired of replacing expensive power tools.)

3 According to Murphy’s Law, do not think you can make up time on the freeway because you are late. If you do, at best, there will be light traffic. At worst, that eighteen-wheeler turned over, blocking all lanes, is just ahead —after you enter the freeway. (Well, now, Eachan. You might as well turn off the car and relax. The traffic central says the police need to investigate before moving anything. That job interview can be rescheduled. Aw, too bad your phone is dead, and you forgot your charging cord.)

2 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to explain the now quiet noise in your car’s engine to the mechanic. If you do, at best, you will cause more confusion. At worst, your mechanic will replace the most expensive element of your engine using your noise as justification. (You are not surprised that the noise returns after you get a block from the mechanic’s garage, are you, Eagan?)

1 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to tear that paper towel with one hand. If you do, at best, you’ll end up with shreds. At worst, that spill you are trying to contain will have seeped onto the floor to form a permanent stain in the wood. (I guess you should have known, Eamonn, that according to Murphy’s law, paper is strongest at the perforation.)