
Bucket lists will be with us forever. Here’s a list I published on March 5th, 2018. I think it still may be helpful for those planning a bucket list. I should have labeled this list the Top Nine since the last one is a recommendation of one to do.
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Top Ten Things Not to Include on Your Bucket List
The inspiration for this post came from the website https://www.bucketlist.net/
While looking around, I came upon one list of the top ten crazy things to put on your bucket list. This list started me thinking of what not to put on your bucket list for fear of having the list prematurely remain unaccomplished. I did borrow a couple from the list.
10 If you are making a bucket list, do not include swimming with great white sharks. If you do, at best, they will have eaten before you show up. At worst, they have all given up their vegan diet, and you are the first animal protein they’ve seen for weeks. (Looks like those extra long flippers might come in handy, Dayson.)
9 If you are making a bucket list, do not include asking Tiny how he got his name the next time you see him. If you do, at best, he will have his Airpods in his ears and will miss the question. At worst, you will remind him of the teasing he took in the fourth grade when he stood six feet tall. (This might be a good time to try out those nunchucks, Deavon. Be careful, though, and don’t let Tiny take them away from you.)
8 If you are making a bucket list, do not decide to ski the Alps. If you do, at best, you’ll sober up before the trip. At worst, you’ll get to the mountain and ignore the fact that you really weren’t an excellent skier in the first place. (That thrill of being airborne doesn’t last very long does it, Delbert? Don’t worry; the ski patrol will be waiting for you at the bottom of the mountain. It is a very short trip to the hospital.)
7 If you are making a bucket list, do not add breaking the world freedive deep dive record. If you do, at best, your first try will give you a hint to stop. At worst, you will realize that the 122-meter (400+ feet) record is safe with your ten-foot dive. (Yes, Delsen, you need to hold your breath for over four minutes to break the record. So far, your best shot was twenty seconds)
6 If you are making a bucket list, don’t include quitting your job to try something new. If you do, at best, your boss will hire you back. At worst, something new is something that ten million had tried before and failed. (I give it to you that a mail-order catalog seemed like a good idea, Donte. It’s just that it has all been done before. Why not try to corner the aluminum can market?)
5 If you are making a bucket list, don’t consider a solo skydive. If you do, at best, you will take all the training. At worst, you’ll go up in a plane and then have to actually step out the door. (The first thing to remember is when to deploy the chute, Dorian. The second is how to use the other chute. Let’s not worry about the third right now you have enough to deal with.)
4 If you are making a bucket list, don’t think taking your life savings to Las Vegas would be fun. If you do, at best, the casino will have caught on fire. At worst, all those blackjack lessons and theories went out the window when you took a card on fifteen, and it was a ten. (The hotel will be happy to comp your room tonight, Dorrin. It seems you are the most prominent loser today.)
3 If you are making a bucket list, do not include running with the bulls in Pamplona. If you do, at best, you will be able to outrun the guy behind you. At worst, your strategy of running up a tree will backfire as six bulls all hit the tree. (You forgot that those horns are pretty tough, Draupnir. Put away that red hanky. Nothing can save you now.)
2. If you are making a bucket list, do not make a note about cooking fish at home. If you do, at best, someone who loves you will talk you out of it. At worst, you will finish the cooking and realize you have ruined a twenty-dollar fish and a fifty-thousand-dollar kitchen. (I think you have learned your lesson, Drewes. Now call the bank and get that home improvement loan fast.)
1. If you are making a bucket list, include becoming a best-selling author. If you do, at best, it may happen. At worst, you will live forever trying to complete your bucket list. (Just keep working on it, Drystan. Ninety-two is the new sixty-two. There is plenty of time.)