In Keith’s words. “Using this image (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before the end of the week. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.
This was posted on January 26, 2016. Since we just finished the playoffs, this looks like good advice.
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The inspiration for this list was this season’s NFL playoffs. There were enough punches thrown during the various games and enough trash talk to fill a stadium. Although I was not a party to any of the conversations, my imagination went to the point of asking the question, “What could one player say to another that would warrant an attempted punch to the nose. (I say attempted since most players are guarded by a facemask, and it would be tough to make a fist-to-nose contact.) Also, I know none of us play American football, but what if we did? I hope you enjoy the post since we are now in the last moments of this season.
The Top Ten Things Not to Say to an Opponent on the American Football Field
10 If you are on the football field, do not tell another player that you heard they were losing their Nike endorsement. If you do, at best, the player will think you are joking. At worst, the player will assume you have the endorsement and will try the fist-to-nose maneuver. (You know those endorsements don’t come easy.)
9 If you are on the football field, do not ask another player about last night. If you do, at best, you’ll get a stare. At worst, the player will assume you know something and will court a penalty to take you out. (Last night is something players never mention. Right?)
8 If you are on the football field, do not tell a player he looks cute on the jumbotron. If you do, at best, the player will avoid you for the rest of the game. At worst, the player will finally get that you wanted to tempt him to look continually at the jumbotron and will take you out with a chop block. (It was a good try and pretty funny when he went downfield for a pass and couldn’t take his eyes off himself.)
7 If you are on the football field, do not make fun of another player’s Ferrari color. If you do, at best, he will tease you about not having one. At worst, the player will start to become self-conscious about his choice of purple and take it out on you. (The dealer did call it Red Cassis, though)
6 If you are on the football field, do not mention the nasty tweet that the player made, which required a huge apology. If you do, at best, the player will give you a knuckle sandwich warning. At worst, just when you thought you were going to catch that game-winning touchdown, you wake up in the hospital instead. (Never saw it coming, did ya bunkie. Oh, and by the way, your team lost.)
5 If you are on the football field, do not ask a player if that is his mother in the stands. If you do, at best, he won’t have time to think about it and just smile. At worst, he will realize you are talking about his latest date and will make a tackle you’ll remember well into the next season. (You should always be respectful. Right?)
4 If you are on the football field, do not tackle a player and then say, “That was easy.” If you do, at best, the player will throw you off. At worst, you and the player will look like children on the playground punching each other on the ground in front of thirty million viewers. (Why won’t the press leave this one alone, you wonder?)
3 If you are on the football field, do not put your face mask into another player’s face mask and tell him he’s ugly. If you do, at best, you know a fist-to-nose attempt is on its way. At worst, you will wonder what happened right after your helmet went airborne and the lights went out. (No way to talk to a 350-pound tackle)
2 If you are on the football field, do not tell another player that you heard his Super Bowl ring is in a pawn shop. If you do, at best, you will be on the ground on the next play. At worst, you will be the center of attention on a time-out and cart ride back to the locker room. (Learned a lesson about finance, didn’t you)
1 If you are on the football field, do not tell another player that your agent is the same as his. If you do, at best, the game will be a series of who can outdo who. At worst, since you both behaved so poorly, your agent has now cut you both loose. (A bit of discretion could have avoided all this angst.)
We are going to the Lakeway Activity Center for sizzling salsa dancing today. This is part of the Lakeway Arts Brown Bag Concert Series. The idea is to bring your lunch and enjoy the entertainment. We are catered by Nixta Taqueria of Austin. Our entertainment is Gloria Estefan with Daniel Rosas & Jasmin Benfreha.
Salsa flight – 1oz serving of salsa cruda, salsa Morita, lacto-fermented hot sauce, creamy habanero. A delicious addition to chips, tacos, or tostadas! (contains fish sauce)
A big gulp of coffee reaches the brain in less time than is reasonable to hope. With the cobwebs gone, it is time to fire up the clock. The choice is to continue to make 1923 mistakes or finally move into 1924. Someone needs to make the call, and it has to be me.
Okay, the clock is set for January 27, 1924. The location is Moscow and the time allowed is two hours. When the plunger is pulled, we find ourselves in Moscow. Dressed like it is Texas with flip-flops and shorts, the temperature turns my knees blue. It is currently -35 degrees F (-37 C), and someone should have reminded me that we need to dress for the destination and not the origin. Lesson learned for next time.
We are in Red Square, and thousands of people gathered for the state funeral for Vladimir Lenin, the co-founder of the Soviet Union. Lenin’s body is delivered to Red Square, accompanied by martial music. The crowds listen to speeches from Mikhail Kalinin, Grigory Zinoviev, and Joseph Stalin, but notably not Leon Trotsky, who had been convalescing in the Caucasus. Later, it is learned that Stalin had given Trotsky the wrong date for the funeral on purpose.
Lenin’s body is embalmed for long-term viewing and placed in a mausoleum on Red Square. He died on January 21, 1924, at 18:50, in Gorki, at age 53, after falling into a coma. The official cause of death was recorded as an incurable disease of the blood vessels.
As the funeral is completed, the alarm goes off, and back on the sofa is my destination. My test tone tells me Linda Hill has sent this week’s prompt. Here it is. Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 27th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “make the call.” Use it as an idiom, or use it literally. Have fun!
Today’s good news comes from station KDFW, which serves Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas.
Screengrab of Eban Barns from FoxNews 4
Royse City Boy Scout builds doghouses for Dallas Animal Services
by Lori Brown
ROYSE CITY, Texas – An eighth-grade Boy Scout from Royse City is working toward the prestigious Eagle rank by helping save the dogs’ lives in Dallas.
He built and delivered 20 dog houses to Dallas Animal Services this week to be given out to families in need.
Eben Barnes is only 13 years old but already making a big difference
“I really enjoy being around dogs, and I found out that they can be removed from their homes because they don’t have a shelter,” he said. “So I wanted to do a project for that so that dogs wouldn’t be removed.”
Eben reached out to Det. Michael Bono with the Dallas Police Department’s animal cruelty unit to find out how he could help animals in a city that is struggling with shelter overcrowding.
There are almost twice as many dogs in the shelter as there are in the kennels, forcing the shelter to euthanize adoptable pets.
“One of our biggest challenges we have in the animal cruelty unit is individuals that don’t provide a means of shelter,” Bono said. “Whether it’s they just don’t have the means to do so, or they choose not to. But animals in North Texas are at risk based on not having shelter.”
Eben researched how to build a doghouse, but that had its challenges. His prototype broke after the first try. He contacted businesses to collect donations for the supplies he needed.
Eben’s mom, Brooke Barnes, said she was proud of his perseverance.
“He sets a goal and sticks to it,” she said. “So to see him build the prototype, see him get everything organized, and then to see him oversee the work day and the delivery of the doghouses yesterday, it was really exciting.”
And now it’s 20 dogs that will soon have the excitement of their own.
“We’ve seen animals come in because the families just couldn’t provide,” Bono said. “And I think through Evan’s Eagle Scout project, he’s able to help 20 of those families.”
The hope is others will be inspired to follow Eben’s lead.
“I think Eben really nailed this project. I think the doghouses turned out excellent. I think it’s the tip of the iceberg,” Bono said. “I think a lot of other scouts and individuals could do this, and it could greatly impact the greater Dallas and North Texas area.
Eben has now completed all of the requirements to become an Eagle Scout. The next step is his board of review to verify his work.
The good news here is a young man saw a need and did what was necessary to satisfy that need. Today’s JohnKu talks about action. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
10. If you are walking your dog, do not stop at a neighbor’s nice grassy place and let your dog do its thing. If you do, at best, your neighbor will nicely ask you not to do that again. At worst, you will wake in the morning to a load of manure on your driveway with a note, “Sorry about my elephant’s mistake. I’ll be back to pick it up later.” (Don’t hold your breath for the pickup, Buster. But do for the stink.)
9. If you are walking your dog, do not think other dogs would be fortunate to meet and play with yours without the other owner’s concurrence. If you do, at best, the other dog’s owner will be nice enough to be patient and not sock you. At worst, the other owner’s dog is a rescue from a dog fighting ring and has been in a twelve-step program designed to stop aggressive fighting behavior and, up to this moment, has been doing beautifully. (Shredded clothes are the least of your worries, Bunky.)
8. If you are walking your dog and find you do not have a litter bag at the moment of truth, do not simply leave it there. If you do, at best, someone will remind you of proper behavior. At worst, you may run into Tiny the WWF Champ, who is in a very bad mood and has just left the couples counseling session with the knowledge that he is considered a pushover and now has your dog’s mess on his shoe. (You may want to consider picking up the pooch and booking for home, Baylor.)
7. If you are walking your dog, do not think it is cute to let it run free with no leash. If you do, at best, you will get unapprovingly stern looks from other dog owners. At worst, you may lose your dog around the corner and come to realize the animal control officer pulling away has it and the lion mix it was fighting in the back of the van. (Hopefull you can cover the fine, Bosco. If not, maybe you can trade adopting the lion mix for the ticket.)
6. If you are walking your dog, do not think you can leave it tied up outside a store for long. If you do, at best, your dog will bark and draw a crowd of unappreciative animal lovers. At worst, you will need to explain to animal control why you left your dog in the sun with no water while you are swinging from a tree upside down where the crowd left you. (Calling for help is futile, Bryce. It will only bring the crowd back.)
5. If you are walking your dog, you need to remember that the pavement gets hot in the summer. If you forget, at best, your dog will get tired enough of having hot paws and will jump into your arms to be carried for the rest of the way. At worst, the dog in your arms weighs over one hundred pounds, and you will struggle to stay on your feet as you slowly return home barefooted, followed by the patrol car with the police officer who threatened to ticket you for animal cruelty unless you gave him your shoes. (How do you like the hotfoot, Brandon?)
4. If you are walking your dog, do not forget to bring water for the dog to drink. If you do forget, at best, your walk will need to be cut short. At worst, your dog will beg passersby to be adopted into foster care. (Will work for a good home is what the sign says, Buford. It is sad that your dog is smarter than you.)
3. If you are walking your dog at night, don’t think everyone can see you if you don’t have a light. If you do, at best, you may find yourself jumping into a ditch to avoid the near misses of those who can’t see you. At worst, you may find yourself riding out of town on the front of a huge truck whose driver has no idea you and your dog are there hanging on for dear life. (The noise of the engine is drowning out your pitiful cries for help, Bruce. Sit back and enjoy the ride.)
2. If you are walking your dog, don’t forget to keep an eye out for coyotes or other animals that might consider your dog a tasty treat. If you do, at best, you may have to make a run for it unexpectedly. At worst, you might be in a position of having to go to a primal position and challenge the leader of the pack to a showdown while keeping your frightened pooch safe in your pants. (your howling is very convincing, Bradly. In fact, I think the leader thinks you are cute.”
1. If you walking your dog, don’t forget all is well, and it is a beautiful day there is no more rewarding time. Keep your dog safe on a leash. If you do, at best, you will enjoy your friend for years, and there is no worse. (Nice smile, Beauregard. You are a lucky person)
Today, we are off to see the Asian watercolor art of Gail Threinen, whose work is displayed at Lakeway City Hall. This type of painting is deep in history and symbolism. Unlike traditional Western-style painting, it is meant to capture the spirit of the subject rather than its photographic reality. The ink and paper are unforgiving and cannot be retouched once the brush is stroked on the paper. Yet, many happy surprises come of that water-ink-brush-paper interaction.
We are catered by Asti Trattoria. Our entertainment is Don Mclean
Lakeway artist – Gail Threinen can be reached at gail.threinen@gmail.com
A word about the photos. The lighting in the Art Center is excellent for viewing the art in person but terrible for photos. Also the art pieces are displayed in varying heights which makes straight on photos difficult. I had to take the shot from a side view to avoid the lights so some pictures would look off-center. I have cropped the pimagesto feature the art and paid little attention to the frames.
This piece is titled Spring Moon and is ink and pigment on xuan paper
Peace Blossom village – Ink and pigment on xuan paper
Peonies in Pink – Ink and pigment on xuan paper
Just Fishing – Ink and pigment on xuan paper
Quote by Yoko Ono – ink on xuan paper
Vineyard and Friends – Ink and pigment on xuan paper
In The Moonlight – Ink and pigment on xuan paper
Calm – Ink on xuan paper
Jucy Grapes – Ink and pigment on xuan paper
In Praise of Second Chances – ink on xuan paper
Water Village – Ink and pigment on xuan paper
I hope you enjoyed the show. Now relax, have some brunch, and enjoy the music.
When the coffee machine knows the need and desire for the relief the beverage promises, has reached an apex, it then decides it needs a cleaning. Empty Grounds is the message blinking to get my sore eyes to notice. In a nutshell, no empty, no coffee. With unsteady movements, the grounds receptacle is emptied, washed, and replaced. In gracious appreciation, the two spouts pour forth the life-saving elixir.
Once the caffeine has hit the brain, the clock is set for January 19th, 1923. The location is the University of Copenhagen in Denmark. The time is set for two hours, and the plunger is pulled.
We arrive at the university just in time to see physicist Dirk Coster of the Netherlands and chemist George de Hevesy of Hungary read from the journal Nature about their discovery of the 72nd element, Hafnium, Latin for Copenhagen. Hafnium is not found as a free element but is dispersed in Earth’s crust to the extent of three parts per million and is invariably found in zirconium minerals. Dirk and George did not know it then, but the metal is very useful for controlling rods in nuclear power plants because of its high melting point.
As champagne is being served, the alarm goes off again. The couch is my landing spot. The tone on my phone is the expected text from Linda Hill. It reads:
Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 20th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “in a nutshell.” Use it as an idiom, or use it literally. Enjoy!
It’s not referring to a tropical disease to say that someone has an EGOT. It means they’ve got a mantlepiece at home where stand an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony—the four major pop culture awards in America.
Only 18 entertainers have achieved this quadruple, and now Elton John stands among them as the 19th, having recently won an Emmy for his concert film, Elton John Live: Farewell From Dodger Stadium.
John was not able to attend the ceremony because of needed recovery from knee surgery, “which isn’t surprising if you think of the number of pianos he’s jumped off from in platform heels,” said John’s husband, David Furnish.
John has collected two Oscars: one for The Lion King’s Can You Feel The Love Tonight? and another for Rocketman’s (I’m Gonna) Love Me Again.
For the ‘T’ in EGOT, he won a Tony for scoring the musical version of the opera Aida.
For the ‘G’—the Grammy, it’s a case of take your pick, with John having collected quite a few over his decades as a musician.
“I am incredibly humbled to be joining the unbelievably talented group of EGOT winners tonight,” said John in a statement. “The journey to this moment has been filled with passion, dedication, and the unwavering support of my fans all around the world. Tonight is a testament to the power of the arts and the joy that it brings to all our lives. Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout my career; I am incredibly grateful.”
According to Smithsonian Magazine, the term EGOT was first used on Miami Vice. Its imaginary alumni include Richard Rogers, Hellen Hayes, Rita Moreno, Whoopi Goldberg, Viola Davis, John Legend, Alan Menken, Mell Brooks, Audrey Hepburn, John Gielgud, Marvin Hamlisch, Johnathan Tunic, Mike Nichols, Scott Rudin, Robert Lobez, Andrew Lloyd Weber, Tim Rice, and Jennifer Hudson.
It seems appropriate that the acronym would be finished on Elton’s final show ever on tour in North America, the curtain call of all curtain calls, and a tremendous achievement to mark the end of a long chapter in a tremendous career.
WATCH Tiny Fey and Amy Pohler present the award along with peers…
The good news in this story is that a man who has invested his life and energy into entertainment has been recognized for his achievement and hard work. Today’s JohnKu talks about recognition. I hope you have a wonderful week.
