Warlord of the Forgotten Age – The Final Legends of Windemere Volume by Charles E. Yallowitz

December 26, 2017December 23, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

I am so pleased to be part of the launch of Charles Yallowitz’s final volume of the Legends of Windemere series. Welcome, Charles.

A big thank you to John for letting me write a guest post to celebrate the release of Legends of Windemere: Warlord of the Forgotten Age. This is it. The final volume of my fantasy adventure series that I’ve worked on for . . . carry the 1 . . . divide by pie . . . 19 years!? Wow, I finally did that actual math on that and caught myself by surprise. Anyway, one of the more common subplots I used in this series is romance. Characters fall in love, have their hearts broken, make mistakes, plan futures, and lock lips. I enjoyed writing these because it felt like rewards and promises to my beleaguered heroes. They also ended up being some of the biggest headaches of my writing career. So, what are some things I learned?

Let’s get the cynicism out of the way. No matter what you do, somebody will hate the pairing, relationship, or existence of romance in the first place. There are many people out there who feel that romance has no place in genres like fantasy and science-fiction. Especially if it’s not the main plot. The thing is that if you want characters to be more human then a relationship is one of the best things to give them. Most people fall in love or get close to others at some point, so it’s one of the easiest points of relation.
You don’t need to write a sex scene to get your point across that characters are in love or lust. Body language like hungry stares and handholding can reveal more than the actual act of procreation. Personally, I see no reason to go beyond the initial kiss and then showing the ‘afterglow’ where the characters are talking, snoring, or raiding the fridge. There’s really no reason for this unless you’re writing erotica or intending to get the reader heated.
There’s only so long that you can play the ‘will they/won’t they’ and ‘who will he/she choose’ game. In Legends of Windemere, I have both situations. One pairing stayed iffy for about 7 volumes because they characters were split up for 2 of them. It was mostly one was open with their feelings and the other was too scared to be honest. The readers knew what was going on, so I had to be careful with how to play it out. Eventually, the audience would think I’m just being a jerk and lose interest in the relationship. When things start to feel stretched and it’s the fourth time they’ve done the ‘so close’ thing then you may have missed your opportunity. As for the love triangle . . .
I don’t know what to tell you here. What I personally learned is that I never want to do one of these again. At least not one that gets this complicated. The problem with a love triangle is that it forces readers to take sides, so you end up creating enemies for the characters involved. People also seem to expect it to be clear from the beginning who will get together. You remove the mystery and risk, so they don’t get invested in a relationship that will fail. I didn’t do that at all. This was a love triangle with an open relationship, three emotionally immature characters, fantasy cultures, and no true hate/malice between those involved. As much as I and others enjoyed this subplot, it was a mess to handle, which is why I brought it to a close earlier than I originally planned.
Love at first sight is a tough card to play, but it’s doable. People talk about how it’s unrealistic and lame. Yet, there’s the chance of two characters having that spark as soon as they met. It can happen with friends, so why not potential lovers? One way I found to make it more palatable is to not go right to the lovey dovey stuff. Such emotions are strong and hit without warning. So, I had one character be overly eager to be honest and another be plain terrified. At least to me, that feels a lot more realistic.
These subplots are perfect targets for villains. Yes, this is a cliché, but what bad guy would pass up the chance to hurt a hero by attacking and possibly destroying their relationship? Many main villains work for psychological victories even if they can’t get the physical one. You stopped my plan to take over this village? Well, the ring you bought from that vendor actually has a memory wipe spell that will go off as soon as your girlfriend puts it on? Villains are cruel and going after loved ones is like stabbing at the heart without actually hitting the heart.
Romantic subplots can change the mentality of a character because they now have something more to live for. With romance comes the possibility of marriage, kids, settling down, and being with someone into old age. Prior to this, a hero might not consider much beyond their final battle or even be okay with dying. Love changes this perspective because it’s something that will last beyond the finale. It’s like a promise to the character that they can have a normal life as long as they survive their adventures.

Again, thank you to John for letting me be a guest and also being there to help support me from early on. It’s been a really long road and it’s great to have people who travel the whole thing with you. Please check out Legends of Windemere: Warlord of the Forgotten Age and I hope you enjoy the adventure.

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Book Launch – Ritual of the Lost Lamb by Charles Yallowitz #Fantasy

May 12, 2017May 11, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 15 Comments

Dark times are waiting for the champions in
RITUAL OF THE LOST LAMB!

Death is a blessing that the Baron is not ready to bestow upon his new toy.

In the chaos surrounding the Spirit Well, Luke Callindor has disappeared and the only clue the psychic scream of agony that Dariana cannot ignore. Knowing that a journey to Shayd will result in their ultimate battle, the champions have devised another way to rescue their friend. With permission from the gods, Nyx has begun the Ritual of the Lost Lamb. It is a long and exhausting spell, which is made even more difficult by a new threat that is out to make all of the Baron’s enemies suffer.

It is a race against time where every minute lost brings Luke Callindor one step closer to a fate worse than oblivion.

Grab it on Amazon!

Add it to your Goodreads ‘To Read’ List!

Excerpt: Audience Granted

Having said her piece, Nyx gnaws on a hunk of jerky and sips at a waterskin while the others discuss her idea. She refuses to admit that she is having second thoughts about breaking a god seal even with permission. The last time she accomplished such a feat was by accident and resulted in her magic being sealed for days. Nyx shudders at the memory of feeling so many lives ending at her hands and takes a sloppy drink of leathery water to steady her nerves. The result is a full body convulsion of disgust and a hacking cough as the liquid goes down her windpipe. Flicking a green beetle off her shoulder, the channeler impatiently paces in a circle and wonders why the others are taking so long.

The hairs on the back of Nyx’s neck rise and her arms become covered in goosebumps as a pulse of energy ripples through the clearing. She is about to ask her friends if they feel anything, but stops when she sees that they are frozen in time. The half-elf’s heart pounds in her chest as she fears that the Baron is about to attack. More terror seeps into her mind when she expects to turn around and find Luke’s tortured body dangling before her eyes. Not wanting to be caught by surprise, a flaming disc appears in her palm and hums as she searches for the source of the powerful spell. The snap of a twig to her left causes Nyx to hurl the fiery circle, which splits into a swarm of deadly copies that would destroy any normal enemy. Against the ebony platemail of Gabriel, the discs puff into balls of harmless smoke that remain hovering in place.

“Your friends have agreed to your idea,” the Destiny God states, ignoring the mortal’s amusing attack. He removes his black cape, which becomes a vague chair for the nervously bowing channeler. “Now, this is unique. In fact, it is quite unheard of, which is why I am granting you an audience. The Law of Influence says I cannot get involved, but nobody has ever asked for permission to do something like this. Needless to say, all of us are very curious to see how all of this plays out.”

“I want to unseal the Ritual of the Lost Lamb,” Nyx politely requests while she takes a seat on the cape. An enchanting warmth rises from the cloth and she nearly falls asleep from the blissful energy that infects her body. “This is the only way to save Luke without marching into the Baron’s territory. We both know that is what he wants. With the forbidden ritual, I can gather my little brother’s residual energy and bring him home. None of us will be at risk since it’s a combination of a summoning and teleportation spell.”

“Strange that you know about a spell designed by channelers. Especially since it has not been used since the ancient Race War,” Gabriel says with a nod of his head. Urging voices in the back of his head causes the god to hum with his mouth closed, the spell jolting the sources of his rising irritation. “The Ritual of the Lost Lamb was taken from mortals before my time, but I understand the reason it made the gods worry. Such a thing could be the first step into summoning a deity against his or her will. Possibly even stealing immortality. Though I believe times have changed and we should reconsider the sealing.”

“Time is also running out,” the channeler replies, shying away when the powerful deity stares at her. A flickering realization that the Baron’s power might be on the same level of Gabriel gives her the courage to meet the man’s piercing eyes. “I apologize for sounding like I’m rushing you. Yet, it has been said that the gods and goddesses have no concept of time since you exist forever. That means I have to push even though I want to speak with respect.”

“In other words, you want a decision now.”

“That would be best, sir.”

“Sadly, I cannot agree to your terms.”

“I haven’t made any terms.”

“Exactly.”

Need to catch Legends of Windemere from the beginning? Then click on the covers below!

You can start for FREE . . .

Or grab the $4.99 ‘3 in 1’ bundles!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Also Available in Single eBooks:

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover art by Jason Pedersen

Interested in a new adventure? Then grab your Kindle & dive back into the world of Windemere! Don’t forget an apple for Fizzle.

About the Author:

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Legends of Windemere: The Spirit Well is Now Available #NewBook

December 9, 2016December 9, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 12 Comments

Return to Windemere in THE SPIRIT WELL!

Born from the light and darkness, Dariana can no longer avoid her fate.

The final corrupted temple stands between the champions and Baron Kernaghan having their great battle. Only one problem: the Compass Key refuses to work with Dariana, who long ago wiped all memories of the Spirit Well from her mind. Now, they are forced to follow a trail of clues that Dariana’s former self left behind centuries ago. It is a path that will lead the champions into a part of their friend’s past that could tear them all apart.

Will the bonds of friendship be stronger than the call of blood?

Grab it on Amazon!

Add it to your Goodreads ‘To Read’ List!

Excerpt: I’m Sorry . . . Again

“I’m sorry, but I told you that my powers make the Compass Key argumentative when it comes to the Spirit Well,” Dariana sheepishly explains while rubbing her clear ring. She smiles when Fizzle lands on her head, the drite’s cool tail running down her spine. “This is very scary for me. None of the champions have made it to this temple, much less the final battle with my father. It’s hard to take in after this destiny being my entire life for so long. I used to always dream of how I would handle my temple, but things are different now that it’s no longer a distant dream. What if I make a mistake and get someone killed?”

“We trust you, my friend, and know that you will not fail,” Timoran whispers as he slides the Compass Key across the table. He is confused when the relic sparks at her touch and gets pushed back into his hand. “That is fairly disheartening. If you cannot use the Compass Key then there is no way to find this Spirit Well. Perhaps it does not like your physical touch and will respond to your telepathy. I wonder why the gods would create this obstacle.”

“It’s possible that we did this,” Delvin suggests while using one of his enchanted rings to create a delicious cup of coffee. He gestures for the barbarian to throw the relic over to him, but the red-haired barbarian refuses. “You’re right, Timoran. Probably not a good idea to toss something like that around. Anyway, we had the Compass Key warded against agents of the Baron. They aren’t able to see it, which means they can’t find or use it. The decision made sense at the time, but things are different now. Maybe our spell has a small effect on Dariana. Not saying you’re working with the Baron, but there could be enough of an aural touch to cause this problem. Do you think we should cancel the spells, Nyx?”

The channeler heats up a cup of tea, which she sips at while considering the possibility of her magic being the issue. “They should stay because I don’t think they’re the problem. Dariana said this has happened before, which means the gods made a mistake. Sorry for how that came out. Gabriel, who better not get angry at this conversation, created the Compass Key first and then turned Dariana into a champion. He couldn’t fix the problem thanks to the Law of Influence, so it’s remained all this time. Though he had to have created something to help us move on.”

“Maybe we have to find Isaiah and he’ll lead the way,” Sari says from the couch. Flipping to her feet, she joins her friends and immediately takes a strawberry off Luke’s plate. “He hasn’t been much help since the first temple, so one has to wonder what his purpose is. I doubt we need his protection any more, which means he has to have another role to play. What do you think, Dari?”

The telepath rubs her temples while scanning the city for a sign of the fireskin, part of her praying he is not nearby. Dariana finds evidence that Isaiah has been spying on them until recently, but the caster is long gone. She considers tracking the faint trail and goes as far as the outer wall, which is where the psychic tracks make an odd leap into the sky. The strain of following Isaiah any further makes Dariana pull back and return to find that everyone is staring at her again. Realizing that she can no longer delay the inevitable, she gets out of her chair and kneels to her friends. Fizzle is still clinging to her head, which makes the apologetic bow both amusing and awkward.

“I know I say this a lot, but I really am sorry, my friends,” Dariana states while keeping her forehead pressed to the stone floor. She looks up at the sound of rustling feet and is surprised to see that everyone is approaching her. “Long ago, I managed to avoid being put back to sleep long enough to track down the Spirit Well. My curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to know where my path would meet its end. I was still forced to wipe my memory of the location, but I do know that I left a map behind. There are a few clues that I buried in my subconscious where even I could not dislodge them after erasing the original discovery. More may come to me as we get closer, but all I know now is that we should go to Rodillen. I was hoping the Compass Key would work and we could avoid this extra journey.”

“Like our luck would be that good,” Nyx mutters while she helps Dariana stand.

Need to catch Legends of Windemere from the beginning? Then click on the covers below!

You can start for FREE . . .

Or grab the $4.99 ‘3 in 1’ bundles!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen 3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics — Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

.

Also Available in Single eBooks:

Interested in a new adventure? Then grab your Kindle & dive back into the world of Windemere! Don’t forget an apple for Fizzle.

About the Author:

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Introducing Charms of the Feykin by Charles E. Yallowitz

September 17, 2016September 14, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

Return to Windemere in Charms of the Feykin!

To make a champion fall, one must wound their very soul.

Nyx is leading the charge to rescue Delvin and Sari, who have gone missing in the southern jungles of Windemere. Battling through the local predators, the champions are surprised when they reunite in the Feykin city of Rhundar. Instead of captives, the missing heroes have become the city’s rulers and are on the verge of starting a war with those that want to exterminate their new followers. Even with such a noble cause, Delvin and Sari have changed into brutal warlords that may kill each other and their friends long before they step onto the battlefield.

Have Delvin and Sari really changed for the worst or is there a greater threat pulling the champions’ strings?

Grab it on Amazon!

Add it to your Goodreads ‘To Read’ List!

Excerpt: Broken Bonds

Sari draws two daggers and sprints at Luke, slashing at his sabers in an attempt to cut his hands as he unsheathes his weapons. Instead, the forest tracker unclips the scabbards from his belt and spreads his arms to avoid the gypsy’s attack. The swords still sheathed, he does his best to deflect his former friend’s strikes while harmlessly smacking her in the sides. When a dagger slices his arm, Luke kicks out to knock Sari back. A hint of a grin on her face causes him to slow his attack, his foot aching as it bounces off her immovable body. Knowing he has to trick her, the half-elf runs backwards to get the gypsy to charge. Before she falls behind, the warrior lets her gradually catch up while remaining out of slashing range. Once Luke reaches the riverbank, he lunges forward and aims a swing at the sprinting woman’s knee. Forced to decide between taking a blow that would surely break bone or risk a similar injury by turning her power on while running, Sari tries to twist out of the way. She lands on her back at the forest tracker’s feet and curses when he pins her arms by jamming his sabers against her wrists.

Before Luke can tell the gypsy to stop struggling, an arm of water bursts from the river and bats him away. Phelan leaps out of the rapids and sprints at the prone warrior, his daggers lengthened by keenly edged liquid. The weapons sink into the muddy earth when their target rolls away, the ringing of drawn steel revealing that the champion is no longer restraining himself. With a flurry of stabs and slashes, the half-elf drives his new opponent back and whittles away at the watery daggers. Trying not to kill the Feykin, Luke delivers an echoing hilt punch to Phelan’s head every time the other warrior attempts a counterattack. Faced with the full speed and skill of the agile forest tracker, the outclassed hunter has various watery weapons fly out of the river. None of them hit the champion, who remains close enough to continue his barrage of muscle-rattling strikes.

Ducking to the side, Luke slashes at the other man’s exposed flank in what he hopes will be a crippling, but non-lethal, blow. The saber clangs off a patch of icy armor and a freezing tremor makes the half-elf’s arm go numb. A searing pain erupts from his lower back and he whirls around, the motion preventing Sari’s dagger from doing more than a long cut across his side. His first saber swings an inch over her head, but his second weapon leaves a gash up the middle of her chin. Enraged by the pain, the gypsy moves out of Luke’s reach and summons a massive hammer of water. She freezes the forest tracker’s feet to the ground before he can move, which allows the large weapon to connect. It repeatedly comes down on the warrior, breaking several ribs and one of his arms. Sheathing his sabers and remaining on the ground, the half-elf draws the stiletto and hurls it into Sari’s thigh. A look of shock is on her face and she stares at Luke’s battered form as if seeing such injuries for the first time.

Need to catch Legends of Windemere from the beginning? Then click on the covers below!

You can start for FREE . . .

Or grab the $4.99 ‘3 in 1’ bundles!

.

Also Available in Single eBooks:

.

Interested in a new adventure? Then grab your Kindle & dive back into the world of Windemere! Don’t forget an apple for Fizzle.

About the Author:

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Thursday – A Little Personal – The Launch of Tribe of the Snow Tiger

May 26, 2016May 24, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 12 Comments

I am using my Thursday – A Little Personal space to announce the Pre-Order Status of another in the Legends of Windemere. The reason I call it personal, I have known Charles from the first book and have participated in each of his launches. So I am so proud to be one of his supporters, and it gives me personal pleasure to help in each launch. Here is the information

Now Available on Amazon for Pre-Order!
Coming to your Kindle on June 1st!

Timoran Wrath has a shameful secret that is about to see the light of day.

The noble barbarian has always been a constant source of strength and wisdom for his beloved friends. His loyalty has been unwavering, and they know that he would never hesitate to lay down his life for them. Even in their darkest hour, the champions know that Timoran will come through and fight to the bitter end. Now they must return the favor as he reunites with his tribe and willingly faces the executioner’s blade.

Is it possible that the honorable Timoran was nothing more than an illusion?

Don’t forget to add it to your Goodreads ‘To Read’ List too!

Excerpt: The Snow Tiger

“The snow is too bright and level for me to see anything clearly,” the barbarian growls. The sound of shuffling and mild cursing draws his attention to Nyx, who has sunk up to her nose in snow. “What are you doing, fire sprite?”

Nyx shivers while squinting into the distance, her eyes coated in bronze energy. “The reason you can’t see anything might be because you’re too tall. I’m trying to see if there’s anything that breaks the level ground. My eyes are enhanced right now, but I don’t . . . wait a second . . . I think there’s something buried out there. A beast of some kind? It’s a very subtle up and down motion that reminds me of something breathing. It just stopped moving, but I don’t know what that means. I’ll lead the way.”

Not waiting for a response, Nyx pushes through the thick snow and uses wind magic to gradually shift the powder out of her path. She does her best to move quietly and avoid disturbing whatever they are approaching, but the crunch of frozen grass beneath her boots makes the half-elf cringe with every step. A violent sneeze threatens to erupt from her nose, stifled quickly by a silence spell around her nostrils. Rubbing at her cold legs, Nyx is thankful when Timoran puts a vest made of black fur over her. The Ifrit hair warms her body and drives away the looming cold that has been brewing in her chest for the last few minutes. With renewed energy, the channeler walks a little faster and adds a simple heat spell to the wind that is steadily clearing the path.

“Wow. Such a beautiful creature,” she whispers when she steps into a circular clearing that surrounds the dead beast.

The enormous snow tiger’s blue and black fur is thick, the hairs sparkling when touched by direct sunlight. It has long incisors of glistening white that jut out of its mouth due to their size and sharpness. A slender tail lies limp in the exposed grass and still twitches as the muscles continue to lose their tension. Powerful legs and massive paws are splayed on the ground, giving the body the appearance of having peacefully died in its sleep. The gaping wound in the gorgeous snow tiger’s side is the only sign of an attack, the surrounding fur matted with aromatic blood.

Timoran’s rage boils when he spots the three cubs that are mewling and pushing against their dead mother. Judging from their size and faint, black stripes, he assumes they are no older than three months. Rusty manacles are attached to their back legs, the chains running to a stake that has been driven into the muddy earth. Restraining his anger, the barbarian moves within reach of the animals and gently breaks the metal bindings that are bruising their ankles. Scared and confused, the cubs cower against the still warm corpse and hiss whenever one of the adventurers comes close. One of the snow tigers bravely charges at Timoran and bites his boot, proudly returning to the others when the towering figure moves away.

Need to catch Legends of Windemere from the beginning? Then click on the covers below!

You can start for FREE . . .

Or grab the $4.99 ‘3 in 1’ bundles!

Also Available:

Interested in a new adventure? Then grab your Kindle & dive back into the world of Windemere! Don’t forget an apple for Fizzle.

About the Author:

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Top Ten Things Not to Do With Book Promotion – Guest Post with Charles Yallowitz

April 25, 2016April 24, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

Normally I post my Top Ten Things during this time. Today I am so pleased to have a guest “Top Tenster.” Charles has put together a laugh out loud list for you today. Charles is a gifted author, and his Amazon Author page will give more detail on his books. If you are unfamiliar with Charles Yallowitz and his fantasy series Legends of Windemere (I think maybe you have been in solitary confinement for the last three years), then I hope you will have the incentive to check out his first book. After all, the price is right and here is the cover.

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

So Charles, welcome, and the post is yours.

Thank you to John for letting me attempt a Top 10 list. Recently, I made the first book of my series, Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero, permanently free. A tough choice to make after it being 99 cents for three years. Though there are worse ideas and here are ten book promotion methods that I wouldn’t recommend:

Do not offer free flu shots with every purchase of your book. You are not a trained physician, and I don’t think your friend Scruffy is a pharmacologist. He may own a white lab coat and know how to spell ‘influenza’, but I’m pretty sure his degree is in Sandwich Artistry. Also, you’d lose money on traveling to all of your readers.
Do not promote your book by skywriting an excerpt. Yes, it’s a unique idea that’s never been done. Though the reason is because you would run out of smoke before you get through the first paragraph. Not to mention the beginning will fade long before you get to the end. Does that say ‘dork and scurry right’?
Do not brand your readers with a booby-trapped book. It doesn’t matter if it puts the Amazon URL on their forehead. Seriously, you need to be kept away from all of mankind until you get professional help.
Do not tie a promotional kite to yourself and streak through a major sporting event. The cameras will all be on you getting tackled in your pixelated glory. Your precious kite will end up in a tree or trampled by the entire NY Giants defensive line and part of the Philadelphia Eagles offensive line.
Do not try to get a celebrity endorsement by harassing them on social media and begging for permission to put them in your book. More than likely, you’ll make a public spectacle of yourself and get no reaction. Though there’s always the chance that they’ll respond with a restraining order.
Do not make and maintain a Twitter account for every single character in your book. It might sound like a good idea for the main character, but nobody cares what Marcel the Blacksmith is doing after being mentioned in one sentence. Not to mention you’ll never leave Twitter to write your book and give Marcel a second sentence.
Do not hold a raffle for your firstborn child and enter every reader into it. For one thing, it’s rude, and not everybody wants a child. More importantly, your spouse and their new friend in a white coat might have issues with this. Let’s not forget that it’s illegal too.
Do not print out multiple cover slips for your book, go to the local bookstore, and put them on all of the bestsellers. For one thing, you never put a barcode on your creations and the cashier can simply write it up with a discount for damages. There’s also that security guard approaching to ask why your clothes are stuffed with cover clips. Enjoy the collection of paper cuts in uncomfortable places.
Do not promise to include a copy of your sex tape with every purchase. There are many reasons why this is a bad idea. The biggest one is that it will result in your spouse saying, “What sex tape?”.
Do not run for President of the United States to get attention as an author. Seriously, you could win and be put in charge of the red button. We both know how that will end, and cockroaches only read graphic novels.

Links

Legends of Windemere

Twitter

Facebook

Grab Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero for Free!

Top Ten Things Not To Do If You’re A Mercenary in Windemere #newbook

January 11, 2016December 30, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

As you may know, I have a great deal of respect for the talent of Charles E, Yallowitz. He is a prolific writer of prose and poetry and has a marvelous sense of humor. We were discussing a guest post in support of the launch of his latest book The Mercenary Prince and I casually suggested that he do a Top Ten Things Not to Do list. To my surprise and delight, he did one. This is a list that made me laugh out loud and decided to run it on my regular feature day. I think you will enjoy it and know you would like Charles’ fantasy stories. So here is Charles and his list.

Thank you to John W. Howell for hosting this guest post, which I hope is entertaining. I step into the realm of the master with a ‘Ten Things’ list that relates to the latest volume of Legends of Windemere. So here we go with ‘Top Ten Things Not To Do If You’re A Mercenary in Windemere’.

If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t challenge Selenia Hamilton the former Mercenary Queen to a duel. Sure it sounds like a good idea because she’s been headmistress of her academy for years and must be rusty. Just realize that all of her students are smirking, the healer is already getting a bed ready for you, and Selenia has claimed a broom for her weapon.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t drink heavily before a big job. Your Dwarven friend might be able to do his job with a hangover, but you weren’t born with his constitution. Few things ruin your reputation more than throwing up on the feet of your enemy. Then again, some species consider that a marriage proposal.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t make fun of the local guards and soldiers. It might seem like a good idea at the time because you don’t have to follow orders and probably get paid more. Yet there’s that highly decorated archer in the corner who will not be held responsible if you’re standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t volunteer to man the front line of a dragon hunt during your first week. It may feel like you’re being ambitious, but everyone is getting the sense that you don’t know what a dragon is. The proud smile on your face isn’t helping and now people are taking bets on if you get stepped on, eaten head first, eaten feet first, burned to death, or run away after wetting yourself.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t track down the current Mercenary Nobles to prove you can beat them. They have their titles for a reason and might not be in the mood to let you walk away under your own power. No, you don’t get points for bravery because you need to know when not to pick a fight.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t moon an ogre from the middle of your allies and from a mile away. Ogres are known for throwing boulders over long distances with precision and your pale keister is just asking for it. On the plus side, you get your name on a list of warriors who have died the same way and will be forever remembered as part of the ‘Flatten Arse Army’.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t stand in the way of a caster’s spells. You sat through the explanation from the captain, heard the caster explain that fireballs do not magically miss allies, and even heard stories from friends about accidents. Yet there you are charging ahead while your friends stay in formation because a volley of attack spells was supposed to soften the enemy. Good job.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t steal the company priest’s holy wine. It is sweet and has a hint of cherries with no threat of a hangover. It has been blessed by the Goddess of Purity. Yet, you didn’t ask permission or give any prayers of thanks, so somebody is going to learn that the Gods and Goddesses of Windemere can be rather petty. Try not to get hurt in the next battle.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t eat what your Orc allies are having. It might smell good, but it has enough spice to make the eyes of your future grandchildren cry. They claim it hardens their body before a battle, but you think it has more to do with giving off toxic sweat. At least you would think that if you weren’t laid out in the healer’s tent hearing that you no longer having stomach lining.
If you’re a mercenary in Windemere, don’t go it alone. Mercenaries aren’t like adventurers and there is success in numbers. Join one of the mercenary armies or team up with others that are looking for a group. Maybe you’ll make friends and a fortune at the same time. Just don’t join up with the creepy guy in the corner. Never work with the creepy guy in the corner.

Check out my newest book

LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE: THE MERCENARY PRINCE

And visit me at

LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE

@cyallowitz

#fantasy, #newrelease – The Mercenary Prince By Charles E. Yallowitz

January 5, 2016December 30, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 9 Comments

Now on Amazon for $2.99!
LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE:
THE MERCENARY PRINCE

Delvin Cunningham has left the champions.

Lost to his tribe in the Yagervan Plains, fear and shame have kept the former Mercenary Prince away from his homeland. With his confidence crumbling, he has decided to return and bring closure to his past. Reuniting with his old friends, Delvin’s timing could not be worse as a deadly campaign is brewing within Yagervan’s borders. Dawn Fangs are on the march and these powerful vampires are determined to turn the entire region into a graveyard.

To protect his family, friends, and two homelands, Delvin will have to push his doubt away and become the cunning Mercenary Prince once again.

Please feel free to put this on your ‘To Read’ list on Goodreads by clicking below:

The Mercenary Prince on Goodreads!

Excerpt from The Mercenary Prince

With the hint of a smirk, Selenia quickens her pace and unleashes a barrage of blows on her former student. Each strike and stab is deflected by the sweat-covered champion, his speed increasing to match her every time. At one point, the half-elf leaps forward and is struck in her stomach by his shield, which forces her to flip over his head. The headmistress lands in a crouch and whirls around to block the counterattack, the point of Delvin’s sword gently running along the leather patch over her stomach. Realizing that he is still holding back, Selenia bats his next attack away and delivers a painful kick to his exposed side. The blow knocks him against the fountain and he comes dangerously close to falling into the water.

While rubbing his bruised side, Delvin circles the headmistress who turns to continue facing him. He makes a few feints that she refuses to acknowledge because they are clumsy and pathetically amateurish. The gathered students and teachers shout for more action, all of them believing the brown-haired warrior to be afraid of the legendary woman. None of them realize that his circles have been getting tighter and his fake attacks have caused Selenia to misjudge his distance. It is something she realizes when Delvin makes a quick swing for her hip and their weapons strike closer to their hilts than she expects. The moment the half-elf steps back to gain some space, her former student pushes forward with precise strikes that mirror the onslaught she previously unleashed. Without a shield, the headmistress finds it more difficult to block every attack and has to twist her body away from several attacks. The movements prevent her from throwing a kick or punch, which would probably hit the shield that he has yet to include in his advance.

Selenia eventually catches Delvin’s blade and slides her weapon along its edge to step within his swinging range. The pair push against each other, their muscles straining to gain the upper hand. Every time one of them is about to gain ground, their opponent shifts enough to continue the frustrating stalemate. With a grunt of exertion, Delvin moves his shield in front of the headmistress’s face and blocks her view. Knowing she is expecting him to push forward, the warrior falls onto his back and lets the surprised half-elf’s momentum slam her face into the wooden disc. The back of his head bounces off the ground as he flicks his wrist to deliver an extra shot to Selenia’s chin. She rolls away from him to recover her senses, but Delvin scrambles to keep her in reach and continue his attack as they stand.

“You actually hit me,” Selenia states when she notices that her nose is bleeding. She ducks under her opponent’s swing and aims her hilt for his stomach, the blow only grazing his shirt. “I think you’ve achieved two firsts for this academy, Delvin. Nobody has ever drawn my blood or made me dizzy during a match.”