Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

August 22, 2018August 21, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again last time we went through an exercise with Larry and Andrew on how easy it was to remember something that was written down. (Not) We finally got to the point to learn that Andrew wrote stuff down on the Sandusky autopsy that he can’t remember and thinks it will be significant enough to try to get the deleted file restored. I see the head of IT is entering Larry’s office. Maybe he has some news.

“Hey, Larry. Andrew.”

“Hi, Paul. You have news?”

“I do. I spent the last couple of hours rummaging through the backup tape files and came across this tape.”

“Let me see that.”

“Help yourself, but there is nothing to see, Larry.”

“Yeah, okay. What is it then?”

“It is the backup tape used during the period of time when Andrew here was doing the autopsy on Sandusky.”

“You sure?”

“Well, yeah I’m sure. The dates on the box are a range, and the Sandusky autopsy falls right in there.”

“Oh great. What do we do now?”

“I’ve already checked the tape it is in perfect condition. We now need to get a reader.”

“How come we don’t have one ourselves.”

“Too expensive to keep around especially since this is the first time in ten years we have wanted to read a backup tape.”

“Okay, I get that. Who has a reader?”

“Our back up supplier has a reader we can use. In fact, I’m going there now to get this file read and printed.”

“Okay then. Don’t let us get in your way.”

“I’ll come right back after I get the file.”

“Thanks, Paul. We both would appreciate that. You need a ride or anything?”

“No, I’m good. Here is a neat little deli on the ground floor of the supplier’s office that is calling me for lunch.”

“See you soon.”

“Say what you want, Larry. Thant guy seems to know what he’s doing.”

“Hold on Andrew. Let’s make sure he’s gone. Yup, he’s gone for sure.”

“I was just saying I think he knows his stuff.”

“I agree. Let’s hope he can get that file back.”

“I have a deli on the brain.”

“Let’s go. I’ll buy.”

“Sweet words indeed.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #188 by Keith Channing

August 21, 2018August 20, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

Feeling better so I thought I would ease in with a prompt from Keith Channing. In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo

“Okay, that’s it. This shovel marks the line of demarcation.”

“Demarcation? What the heck are you talking about?”

“I’ve had it with your yellow plastic. I’ve had it with your empire building.”

“Reggie, what’s come over you? We have a job to do.”

“Maybe you have a job to do, but I am now throwing off the yoke of oppression and declaring this land to be free of big business and big pharma.”

“I think I’m beginning to see the problem. You stopped taking your medication didn’t you?”

“That has nothing o do with it. This land is my land and from now on it shall be called, Borkville.”

“For heaven’s sake. Let’s get back to work. The owner wants a garden here, and it is up to us to build one.”

“In Borkville this will be the common house. We will all live here in harmony.”

“Reggie. Tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“You’ve been watching the History Channel, right?”

“Yeah so?”

“And you are at the part where Columbus discovers America, right?”

“Well yeah.”

“And he plants the flag of Spain and claims all the land in the name of Queen Isabella?”

“Yeah, so cool.”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“Never happened.”

“Huh?”

“Fake news.”

“Fake news?”

“America was discovered by the McDonald brothers.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. They needed a place to expand their hamburger business, so they went there.”

“Seriously?”

“So you can stop your little charade about claiming land. It just doesn’t happen.”

“This is disappointing, to say the least. I feel so mislead. One question.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think the McDonald Brothers would mind if I claimed this land in their name?”

“Well, that depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not Harrods grants them permission to accept. Back to work shall we?”

Friday – JohnKu – AKA – TGIF and Update

August 17, 2018August 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 112 Comments

Well, it is Friday, and usually, I give Y’all some kind of update on whats going on. I will be very brief but think you should know how the surgery went. I had a small hiccup last Friday in that my Cardiologist didn’t like what he was seeing on the EKG done by the preop internist. He wanted to do one himself. This meant we had to drive to San Antonio (158 miles) Monday morning leaving the house at 7:30. Long story short we made the appointment and the EKG was excellent. We actually had some time left over to go to Costco thus eliminating a second trip.

I checked into the hospital and by 4:00 I am the proud owner of a new knee. I never asked what kind of knee so when people ask I say, “Stromberg 97.” For those in the know, that s the name of a carburetor popular in the late 50s. (yes, we are talking hot rod and mine had two under the hood. I was raised in Detroit after all.)

I came home yesterday after two nights and am now doing physical therapy at home with a tech who arrives each day. I am restricted on activities until the follow-up appointment with the surgeon on August 28th. The treatment takes about ten hours a day so you can imagine there isn’t much time. I’m writing this with my leg elevated and knee surrounded by ice packs. That is about the only free time there is.

As you can see (I hope) I am visiting your posts. I don’t intend to pick mine back up just yet. I have lovely medication, but it does leave me a little slow on the creative side.

So today’s JohnKu celebrates the skill and knowledge of those folks who cared for me and the concern you have expressed throughout the week. Thank you, and I hope you have a great weekend.

A wish by John W.Howell

That is all it takes,

One wish expressed from the heart. . .

Alleviates fear.

Top Ten Things Not To Do During the French Revolution

August 13, 2018August 12, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

The inspiration for this list was a suggestion by Maria KethuProfumo that perhaps I could do some historical Top Ten Things Not to Do. I asked Y’all if you would enjoy such a fantasy trip and the majority said, “Yes.” So here is the first edition. Thank you, Maria, and I hope you get some visits to your beautiful blog.

The Top Ten Things Not to Do During the French Revolution

10 If you were in France during the revolution, do not wear your best clothes while walking on the street. If you do, at best you will be suspected of being a monarch supporter. At worst, you will be arrested, tried, convicted, and face the guillotine. (You have to admit it, Frank. These folks have no patience with cleanliness or fine clothes. Get ready for a really close shave.)

9 If you were in France during the revolution, do not accept a ride on a two-wheel wagon driven by Tiny the Revolutionary champ who just got an award for loyalty. If you do, at best you sneak off before you reach the plaza. At worst, you have a difficult time trying to convince Tiny that you are not part of the monarchy and are now trussed up like a turkey. (Those wagons are for transporting prisoners to the guillotine, Felix. What were you thinking?)

8 If you were in France during the revolution, do not wear your “I Love Louis XVI” pin. If you do, at best most folks will think you are joking. At worst, a mob of villagers will ensure you are no longer a threat to the revolution. (What do all these people want, Fredrick. Why do they continue to yell “Off with his head?” This is not Wonderland.)

7 If you were in France during the revolution, do not take the tour of the Bastille even if you paid in advance. If you do, at best the tour will be quick, and you’ll be out before the storming. At worst, you will be mistaken for a defender of the Bastille by the storming crowds. (I would try to remember how to use that saber, Flynn. You are not going to convince that crowd that you are a tourist.)

6 If you were in France during the revolution, do not forget to wear your Liberté, égalité, fraternité T-shirt whenever you go outside. If you do forget, at best you’ll still look like a peasant. At worst, your judgemental air will get you into court. (There doesn’t seem to be a whole bunch of innocent until proven guilty thought around this place huh, Fabio. Next stop the ultimate haircut.)

5 If you were in France during the revolution, do not wear your “I’m With Robespierre,” shirt past the expiration date. If you do, at best you’ll be reminded that he is now thought of as a traitor. At worst, you and Robespierre will become fast friends before the blade falls. ( You gotta know when to hold em and when to fold em, Federico. Don’t be a fool let Robespierre go first. Who knows a miracle could happen.”)

4 If you were in France during the revolution, do not tell folks that you really prefer cake. If you do, at best you might be looked upon as a fool. At worst, those you talk to might think you are a supporter of Marie Antoinette. ( you know exactly where this is going to lead don’t you, Finlay?)

3 If you were in France during the revolution, do not continue to joke about wanting a Napoleon for dessert. If you do, at best you might need a steak for that black eye. At worst, you might need a priest for that long walk to the guillotine. (When no one laughed the tenth time you might have gotten the hint, Finian.)

2 If you were in France during the revolution, do not continue to tell everyone how beautiful you think the Palace of Versailles is in the sunlight. If you do, at best they will be too busy to take you seriously. At worst, you and one hundred of your closest Versaille resident friends will be marched into Paris. (Another trial, Finian. This is getting tiring. The good news is this is tip the executioner free day at the guillotine.)

1 If you were in France during the revolution, do not assume the flag you are flying is that of the revolutionists. If you do, at best you picked right. At worst, your three gold fleur-de-lis on white background although beautiful will attract bullets. (Never believe a guy on the street who sold it to you, Fitz. Now you need to take cover.)

As a reminder, this is my last post until I recover from surgery.

Views of the Neighborhood – Golf Carts

August 12, 2018August 11, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

This week I thought I would go out and see how the golf cart business is doing. Mid-week I went to Bron’s Beach Carts to take a photo of the lot. I did this so that I could come back on Saturday and take another shot. A lot filled on Wednesday and empty on Saturday means tourists are here. I know not very scientific but better than nothing.

Her is a far away shot of Brons. You can see some carts in the lot.

A closer look at the entrance. Looks like a guy has been waiting quite a while for public transportation.

Here is another shot of the lot. That sign advertises drinks to go. You can get frozen drinks in giant economy sizes.

Here is a shot of the entertainment area. Bron’s has live entertainment weekly. Also, they have a late night bonfire. Coupled with those frozen drinks can you spell fun?

Here is a lounge area

Another close-up. You can see the live music sign on the left. Bron’s has to be the most fun cart rental store on the island.

So here is a shot of the cart lot on Saturday. Nothing but automobiles.

A few carts left, but mostly all gone.

Certainly more cars than carts. I checked some other places, and the results are the same. Here is one example.

Before

After

Looks like the tourists are here for a few more final weekends.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Bodily Functions

August 11, 2018August 10, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “bodily functions.” Yup, you heard me right. Flipping bodily functions. Linda Hill says we can write about one or a whole bunch of bodily functions. If you would like to engage in frying your brain as I do each week, please visit Linda Hill’s blog and find out how easy it is to do just that. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-11-18/

“Why so glum chum?”

“I just went up the Hill so to speak and got my prompt for today.”

“You always love these prompts. Is this one different?”

“Not different just a big challenge.”

“How so?”

“The prompt is bodily functions.”

Bruuuuhahahahah. You have to be kidding.”

“No. I’m serious. We can write about one or a whole bunch. My problem is I can only think of one.”

“Oh come on. It can’t be that bad. What is the one?”

“Pooping.”

“Whoa. You can’t write about that. Yours is a family friendly blog.”

“Yeah tell me. I did think of another.”

“Okay with some caution I’ll ask what are you thinking.”

“Breathing.”

“Yeah, now there you go. Talk about breathing.”

“I feel better already. Let’s see there are different kinds of breathing.”

“Go on.”

“When you are running you breathe harder.”

“Good.”

“When you sweat and run your breath is different. Wait, another bodily function, sweat.”

“Excellent. I think you’re going to kill this.”

“When you are quiet and resting your breath is easy.”

“Almost poetic. Go on.”

“When you kiss someone your breathing can become deeper. I got it. Saliva production is another bodily function.”

“You are the master.”

“Where was I? Oh, yes kissing. Makes the heart beat faster. Heartbeat has to be another bodily function.”

“You are taking strange paths to get there, but I have to say you are getting there.”

“Then as the kissing gets more heated—”

“Stop.”

“What do you mean, ‘stop”‘

“You are now starting to concern me again. Where are you going with this?”

“I was going to mention goosebumps. What is wrong with goosebumps?”

“Okay. Nothing wrong with goosebumps. Proceed.”

“Then if all works well there’s the orgasm.”

“One toke over the line my friend. One toke over the line.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

August 10, 2018August 9, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 83 Comments

Friday is here, and we can look forward to a super weekend.

I want to let you all know that I will be taking a sabbatical from my blog, twitter, and Facebook beginning Tuesday, August 14th. My last post will be on Monday.

My leave is due to a needed knee replacement procedure on Monday, August 13th. I’ll be hospitalized for at least two days. I’m not sure how long my absence will be but want you to know, so you won’t wonder where I went. I don’t think I’ll be stopping by to leave comments on your posts until I’m sure my brain is clear. There is nothing worse than having to apologize for an incoherent response with the phrase, “That was the oxycodone talking.”

I hope my absence won’t be too long but in situations like this one never knows.

Thank you for your support and understanding.

Today’s JohnKu talks about absence. Have a great weekend.

We appreciate,

Those we are used to seeing . . .

And miss when absent.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy Needs Her Rest

August 9, 2018August 8, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

“Hi, Lucy. Why so glum?”

“Twiggy is under the sofa and won’t play with me.”

“Oh, I’m sure she is resting or something.”

“She says she is tired of playing”

“Tired? What’s that about?”

“We were running around pretty hard.”

“Well, there you are. She is tired. Give her some time.”

“You think so, Boss? I hope she isn’t coming down with something.”

“Twiggy. Come out of there and let’s have a discussion.”

“Good girl, Lucy. She will listen to you.”

“I don’t feel like playing, Lucy I need a little rest.”

“But we can take it a little slower.”

“Any ideas Bailey?”

“I’d get a treat and lure her out.”

“Okay. The rest is over. Here I am.”

“How about we do tug of war?”

“We can play whatever you want, Little stuff.”

“Aw. Thank you, Lucy.”

“I’m glad you feel better. I know we play a little hard sometimes.”

“It’s okay. I love playing with you.”

“I thought we were going to play.”

“How about we play I SPY with our eyes closed.”

“But you won’t be able to see anything.”

“I know Little Potato, but we can pretend.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

August 8, 2018August 7, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

Unique funny hump day memes Hump Day Dog memes quickmeme funny stuff Pinterest

It is Wednesday story day, and last week we left Andrew with the head of the municipal IT department. I think we were taken back with the IT manager being so full of himself. Well, I think our opinion doesn’t count if he is able to come up with a solution to the deleted file. I see Andrew and Larry are back in Larry’s office. We should go there to see what is going on.

“So you talked to the head of IT?”

“I did, and he is trying a unique approach to a solution to the deleted file problem.”

“Do tell.”

“He thinks there might be an old tape which was used as a backup. The big problem is if he finds the tape he will need to find a reader.”

“Any line on a reader.”

“Yeah, he thinks one of his suppliers might have a customer using a reader. If so we can use it and get the deleted file back in its original form.”

“Terrific. I do have a question though.”

“Yeah, shoot.”

“What do we have when we get the deleted file?”

“I’m betting my old notes will give us some forensic basis for determining how the heart was disintegrated. and maybe this will be a thread to the motive.”

“Can’t you just remember what you wrote?”

“You’re kidding, right? Tell me the last thing you wrote down on a piece of paper.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even if it was yesterday. Tell me the last thing you wrote. You know, pen or pencil in hand and a piece of paper.”

“Damn. I can’t remember.”

“You know why?”

“Not really.”

“It’s because when you write something down your brain knows it does not have to store that piece of information. So it remembers where you wrote it but not the content.”

“I get it. I remember making notes about another case but can’t tell you what I said.”

“There you go. So how can I remember what I wrote ten years ago?”

“Yeah, I see. So chasing after this deleted file is worth the time and effort.”

“I think so for sure.”

Then let’s hope the head of IT knows something about getting that tape to work.”

“He has to find it first.”

“Yeah, of course. I have faith.”

“I’m glad one of us does.”

Tuesday- Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #186 by Keith Channing

August 7, 2018August 6, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or website, next Monday.”

The photo