
The inspiration for this list is living long enough to experience what happens when things are put off. Not all of these things have occurred but enough to give me the title of Consultant on What Not to Put Off.
10 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off buying an anniversary present. If you do, at best you’ll have to spend more to find what you want to give. At worst, what you want to give is no longer available and your second choice falls way short. (That pair of rubber dish gloves just didn’t have the same panache did it, Emanuele?)
9 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off paying Tiny, the WWF champ, the ten bucks you borrowed. If you do, at best you won’t run into Tiny. At worst, you’ll meet Tiny just after he left his financial planner with the news that he is broke. (Right now would be a good time to have that ten spot out where Tiny can see it, Emesto. There won’t be time once he grabs you by the throat.)
8 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off responding to that traffic ticket. If you do, at best you can cover the late fee. At worst, a rookie police officer will see you drive by and will have memorized the license plates of all the outstanding warrants for this week. (Yes, those lights and siren mean to pull over, Emo. Better hope someone can come and bail you out. Oh, and don’t worry about your new car. The wrecker folks got that name for a reason.)
7 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off paying that final notice on the water and electric bill. If you do, at best you might get a grace period. At worse, you planned on filling the bathtub and buying some candles but were caught by surprise. (How do those shins feel after hitting that coffee table five times, Enceladus?)
6 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off filing your taxes. If you do, at best you will remind the IRS agent of his father. At worst, you will remind the IRS agent of her ex-husband. (Why do the terms ‘delinquent, fine, and jail term’ keep coming up in the discussion, Eoin?)
5 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off renewing your auto or driver’s license. If you do at best a wait at the DMV is the only penalty. At worst, just when some eyewitness of a bank robbery described a car like yours, a state police officer pulled in behind you. (Don’t think these guys aren’t going to have guns drawn, Eren. The bank robber will probably get a lighter sentence than driving with expired plates and license.)
4 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off sending your house insurance premium. If you do, at best your agent will remind you. At worst, the rare piece of space junk entering the atmosphere and landing on your house will remind you of the forgotten check. (Don’t worry, Erin. Insurance companies have huge hearts and will likely forgive your oversight. Believe that, and I have an underwater lot I think you would like.)
3 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off making those airline reservations to attend the mandatory company seminar. If you do, at best you’ll have a center seat on a packed plane. At worst, you’ll be on standby, and as luck would have it, there are no seats available. (Who would have thought that Dubuque Iowa was such a popular destination, Erskine? You can tell by the tension in the voice that the boss is not going to forgive and forget.)
2 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off paying that credit card bill. If you do, at best you’ll rack up a big late fee. At worse, just when you are trying to impress someone by grabbing the dinner check, the waiter comes back and tells you in a loud voice that your card has been denied. (You can try all you want to explain a bank error, Eske. Your soon to be ex-client isn’t believing your story.)
1 If you have a number of things going on, do not put off double checking your parachute before your skydive this weekend. If you do, at best it was done right. At worst, you will find yourself in a position of having to hope the spare will do the job. (After all, Estanislao you have gained a few pounds. Oh, and that go cam recording should be hilarious so let’s hope you are there to enjoy it.)