Thursday – A Little Personal – More Lessons for Twiggy

Twiggy, Lucy, and Bailey

“So Twiggy. We have a couple of things to show you today.”

“Really Lucy? I can’t wait.”

“You have to get up and follow me.”

“Where we going?”

“Oh nowhere. I thought I heard the sound of the UPS truck and wanted to check.”

“What’s the UPS truck?”

“Remember the FedEx lesson? It’s a truck like that only brown. Okay not here. Let’s go up on the porch.”

“Wait, Lucy. I can’t get up there.”

“Sure you can. You have to do a little jump. Like this.”

“Oh, I get it.”

“Hey, Twiggy.”

“Hi, Bailey. Lucy just showed me how to jump up on the porch.”

“How nice. So now you can get up on the porch. Nice going, Lucy.”

“Oh hush, Bailey. You are such a grump.”

“Twiggy you have your own bowl over there.”

“I know, but I want to drink out of the big dog’s bowl.”

“Well help yourself. Then we have to show you the Jolly ball.”

“Twiggy. That orange thing is a Jolly ball.”

“What do you do with it?”

“You take that handle. Pick it up and run with it.”

“Ummm. This is hard.”

“You’re supposed to grab it by the handle.”

“It’s too heavy for me.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Forget the ball you two.”

“What’s happening?”

“It’s the UPS truck. Hurry.”

“Let me at em.”

“You go, Bailey. Twiggy. Bark your head off.”

“Why do we bark?”

“Not sure. It’s a custom. All dogs bark at the UPS person.”

“That was fun. What do we do now.”

“Well, Twiggy. We take a sunbath.”

“Sunbath?”

“Don’t let Lucy kid you, Twiggy. We take a nap. After all, we worked pretty hard today.”

“Good idea, Bailey. I’m beat.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Last week we saw the conclusion of the saga around Lucas. This week is a new story and the only introduction needed if to let you know our protagonist Larry Dunfee is heading into a small shop in the heart of China Town. The sign above the door says, “Fortunes, Tarot, Spiritual Readings.” Let’s follow Larry in.

“Hello anyone here?”

“Yessir. I’m in the back. Take a seat, and I’ll be right with you.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“Are you here for a reading?”

“Uh, I think so.”

“Well, here I am. Let us just see what I can do for you.”

“Erm. I just want to know a couple of things, so I am not sure how we go about it?”

“Does this have to do with a family member?”

“Uh no.”

“Do you want to contact someone who has passed?”

“That is an interesting concept that might be useful, but not right now.”

“Okay, twenty questions are over. Tell me what you are looking for?”

“Can you give me an idea of how my life is going?”

“How do you think it is going?”

“Kinda messed up if you want to know the truth.”

“Have you consulted a psychologist?”

“God no. That’s for crazy people. I’m not crazy. Just confused.”

“So…you think I can—”

“Look in a crystal ball and read my fortune.”

“Why didn’t you say that in the first place? Of course, I can.”

“Excellent!”

“Come with me. We need to go in a different room.”

“Wow, this is nice.”

“Close the door, Larry.”

“How did you know my name?”

“It’s on your name tag detective. Please sit.”

“I always forget I have that thing on.”

“Now Larry. Just relax. Let me concentrate a minute.”

“Sure.”

“Hush.”

*

“Okay, I’m ready. I see by the ball that you are involved in a difficult case. You have no idea on how to proceed. You are thinking of asking for a transfer. How am I doing?”

“I’m amazed. How did you know all that?”

“To be honest, I pulled out the transfer part just looking at your face. Your picture and the story of the killing was on page two of the newspaper. I must say that photo must have been taken ten years ago. The way you are looking now, tells me you do not have a happy life.

“So I’m wasting my time?”

“I wouldn’t say that, Larry. Let’s chat.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #173 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #173

The Audition by John W. Howell © 2018

“Okay, sir. What is it you’re doing today?”

“I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to join the Wildlife Club.”

“This is a tryout, sir. We will determine if you are qualified for the Wildlife membership after your audition.”

“Oh, I know that. You’ll have to excuse me. I’m really excited about becoming a member.”

“Yessir. We are very excited about that prospect as well. Again, what are you doing for your audition?”

“Ah, very good then. Today I’m going to demonstrate various calling techniques.”

“Calling techniques?”

“My first is hawk calling.”

“Excuse me. I missed that. Did you say hog calling.”

“Ha ha ha. I know it sounded like that. No, hawk, that is h-a-w-k calling. C-a-l-l— ”

“I get it. Looks like you already have a hawk.”

“Oh, that is just a decoy.”

“What are the dogs doing?”

“They are ready to go after the groundhog.”

“Groundhog?”

“Yes, see this little puppet on my hand?”

“Hadn’t noticed it before, but now I do.”

“It’s a groundhog lure.”

“Groundhog lure? How does it work?”

“You wiggle it like so while blowing this whistle.”

“Pardon me, but you have a funny smirk on your face. Is this for real?”

“Oh please don’t think I’m not sincere. It’s just when I blow the whistle, so many groundhogs show up it is comical.”

“Okay. You can start any time.”

“First the hawk call. Sooooouuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee. Now the whistle.”

“Mr. Peters?”

“Yes?”

“Where did all these pigs come from?”

“I’m sure I couldn’t tell you. They are in the way of the groundhogs though.”

“Thank you. We’ll be in touch.”

“Did I make it?”

“Don’t call us. we’ll call you.”

 

 

Views of the Neighborhood – Time for a New Header Photo

It is that time of year again. I need to replace the header photo and am asking for your help. I have a poll below the photos, and if you would vote for your favorite, it will help me make the selection.

Here are the candidates.

 1. Summer afternoon

2. Summer Dawn

3. Tropical Summer Sunrise

4. Summer Morning with Coffee

5. The Jetty and Friend

The winner will be the header next week.

 

Thank you, all.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Letter

 

Stream of Consciousness

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “letter.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want.(The horror) If you would like to get involved, it is effortless. Take a big gulp of that margarita and go to Linda’s blog to read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/05/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-5-18/

Letter by John W. Howell ©2018

“This post is brought to you by the Letter C.”

“Hold it.”

“What?”

“This is not Sesame Street.”

“I know. I just thought I would liven up the place a little.”

“By doing what?”

“Adding a little pizzazz with something fun.”

“Okay genius. Go ahead add some pizzazz.”

“Thank you. Hey there reader. Are you anxious, run down, have no energy? Do your friends and neighbors all think you’re a dud? Well if you are not a writer, we have the solution for you. Be the first ten callers, and we will rush a month’s supply of the letter C right to your door.”

“Hold it again.”

“Yes?”

“What does the letter C have to do with being run down?”

“Well, nothing.”

“Then why do an advertisement as if it can help?”

You said to add some pizzazz.”

“You need to tell the truth, though.”

“Uh okay. How’s this? Hey, readers Are you anxious, run down, have no energy? Do your friends and neighbors all think you’re a dud? Well, you probably are a writer, and there is no help for you.”

“Can we drop this now?”

“I’ll need a letter from our legal department.”

“What kind of letter?”

“Where I’m indemnified against the liability of pushing the letter C on an unsuspecting consumer.”

“But it was your idea.”

“All the more reason for a letter.”

“I would be glad to help you out.”

“You would?”

“Yeah. Where did you come in?”

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF – Call for Volunteers to Help Launch The Contract

The Contract

Award-winning author Gwen M. Plano and I are launching our Inspirational Thriller, The Contract between heaven and earth, on June 4th. We would like to do an announcement tour beginning on June 4th through June 17th. If you would like to help, please send an e-mail to johnhowell(dot)wave(at)gmail.com. All the material will be sent, and for those of you on WordPress or other blogs that accept HTML, all you’ll have to do is copy, paste, and schedule. For others, we will include the text and media in an e-mail.

My JohnKu that talks about help.

Dependence by John W. Howell © 2018

The old saying goes,

No person is an island . . .

We value your help.

*

To help make up your mind, here is the blurb.

The earth is under the threat of a catastrophic political event which could result in international warfare and destroy all life on the planet. In heaven, a divine council decides that extraordinary measures are essential. They call for an intervention that involves two souls returning to earth. The chosen two sign a contract that they will work to avert the disaster.

Brad Channing, a Navy SEAL, and Sarah O’Brien, a teacher, become heaven’s representatives on earth. The story follows them as they individually and then together face overwhelming obstacles and eventually end up on a strategic Air Force base in California. It is there that they discover a conspiracy to assassinate the President of the United States. The terrorists have a plan for global dominance, and they are determined to complete their mission. Although military leadership appears to have the President’s best interests at heart, it is not clear who can be trusted and who should be feared. The action is rough and tumble as Brad and Sarah try to figure out the culprits of the plot that will turn into a worldwide conflagration unless stopped.

If you enjoy thrillers, this is one with enough twists and adventure to keep you riveted and guessing. If you like your thriller along with a good romance, Brad and Sarah’s initial attraction and eventual love will sustain you as they live out their heavenly and earthly desires.

Thank you in advance and have a great weekend.

John and Gwen
 

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy, Lucy, and Bailey Hit the Yard

Twiggy

“So Twiggy. What are you doing?”

“Huh?” Oh, Nothing.”

Turn around and tell me.”

Twiggy

“I was just wondering if I could play with the big dogs?”

“Sure you can. You do have to be careful, and so do they.”

“Can you get my leash?”

“Sure. But why?”

“Gives me a little something to talk about.”

Lucy and Twiggy

“Hey, Lucy. Check out my leash.”

“Well, Little One it is certainly pink.”

“Looks okay though, right?”

“I kinda like going commando in the yard.”

Twiggy

“How’s this?”

“Much better. Run over to the fence.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to romp with you.”

Twiggy and Lucy

“Okay, here I am. You’re not going to play rough are you?”

“For heaven’s sake, Twiggy. You are such a dweeb. Why would I play rough?”

Lucy and Twiggy

“Dad said to be careful.”

“I get it. Okay here’s what we are doing. I’m going to run, and you chase me.”

“That sounds pretty much fun. I’ll give you a head start.”

“Okay ha ha ha.”

“Thanks for the game, Lucy. Do you think Bailey wants to play?”

“Hey, Bailey.”

“What?”

“Get up and run like a madwoman and let Little stuff chase you.”

“Thank you, Baily. That was terrific.”

“You are fast one Little Stinker. Next time give me a better lead.”

Twiggy

“So how did it go, Twiggy?”

“I learned it is better to go commando than with a leash.”

“Not a surprising lesson from your sisters.”

“And running with the big dogs is a lot of work.”

“That it is Twiggy. Would you do it again.”

“In a heartbeat, Dad, I had so much fun. Nap time now.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day – Conclusion

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we attended a gathering of the characters in this novella. It was there we watched Frank circle the room with his comments until he made a strange statement in which he used the phrase, “soldier of the Lord.” We need to get back because Frank is continuing his discussion.

“So Henry. What does Soldier of the Lord mean to you?”

“To me? Why absolutely nothing.”

“Oh, come on Henry. You are a devout believer aren’t you?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Don’t you just hate sin?”

“Sin is the devil’s work if that’s what you mean.”

“What I really mean is don’t you just hate people who do nasty things like selling illegal drugs?”

“It’s against the law if that’s what you are saying.”

“Isn’t it a fact that you hated the Severides.”

“They were scum.”

“And you have been spreading all kinds of lies to take the spotlight off the fact that you were involved in a plot to have them killed as a form of revenge?”

“You have no proof.”

“Would you like to know what is in this envelope?”

“What do I care?”

“It is a copy of your bank statement showing the deposit of sixty thousand dollars in your savings account.”

“That is private. You have no right to invade my privacy.”

“Maybe so, but the fact that I did will be overshadowed by authorities issuing a subpoena for all your finances. Seems like you have been running an interesting little business in the drug trade. Sheriff do your duty.”

“Not so fast, Sheriff. You know full well that if I go down, you are going with me. So far this private dick has nothing. You need to make sure it stays that way.”

“All I ever did with you Henry is to buy a couple of ounces of Cocaine. That doesn’t stop me from doing my duty. I’ll take the hit on that. Right now you are under arrest for the murder of the Severides.”

“How about you Mr. Big lawyer McDonnell. You going to stand there and let them do this?”

“Shut up Henry. As your lawyer, I’m advising you to be quiet.”

“Yeah and take the fall for you? You wanted all that insurance money and talked the Severides into making you executor of their estate. You figured by getting the Severides out-of-the-way you would have a clear shot at the money. Well, the laugh is on you. Old man Severide hid all the cash and the big policy. No one knows where it is now.”

“Henry. You are upset, and your lies are not helping you. Please be quiet.”

“Then you got chummy with Trish thinking that she might know something. You better watch your neck, Trish. This man is evil.”

“Henry you willing to swear all this is true?”

“You bet, Sheriff. Can we talk deal? ”

“Jason McDonnell you are also under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder.”

“Sheriff you are making a big mistake. My only involvement here is trying to clear Lucas.”

“Makes me wonder, Jason, why you did such a good job given Frank’s expertise.”

“Because I’m an innocent man, Sheriff. Tell ’em, Frank.”

“Sheriff I have other evidence to the effect that Jason was not only responsible for the Severide murders but is the kingpin of one of the largest illegal drug operations in the US. He didn’t kill the Severides for money like Henry suggested. He did it for the pure pleasure of eliminating competition.”

“Bold words Frank. You’ll be truly sorry for your part in this miscarriage of justice.”

“See you in hell, Jason. I would cuff these two Sheriff and call the State police. I have a lot of information for them.”

“Thanks, Frank. Alright, you two. Let’s go.”

“I’m shocked.”

“I know Mrs. Murphy. It is shocking.”

“What happens to me?”

“Well Trish, I think you better find a new boyfriend.”

“Seth bought that cocaine for me. He is innocent.”

“I’m sure he will be cleared, Alice. Don’t worry. He’s a good man.”

“Did I miss anything?”

“No Lucas, you’re innocent. I can also tell you where your father buried all that  money and the policy.”

“Can you donate it to charity? Seems like it’s dirty.”

“It’s going to be tough  eliminating Jason as executor, but I think it can be done given his involvement in their deaths.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Plano.”

“Just doing my job, Lucas. Just doing my job.”

That concluded this novella. Tune in next week for a new story.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #172 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, (below) write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #172

Who’s on Board? by John W. Howell © 2018

“Hold on Reggie.”

“What Sean?”

“I don’t remember a train track in this part of town.”

“How often do you come this way?”

“Not very. Usually to visit the Pig and Whistle.”

“The pub you mean?”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“Well, no wonder you don’t remember a track here. You’re usually pissed when you leave a pub.”

“Aw Reggie. You know me so well. So what is with this train anyway?”

“Beats me. It does look a little different. Hey you.”

“Who?”

“You the engineer.”

“What can I do for you mate?”

“Where’s this train bound?”

“To Glory my man.”

“Glory? I never heard of a town named Glory.”

“It’s not a town. It’s a state of mind.”

“Okay, Sean. I get it. This is one of those preach, teach, and reach outfits. They get you on a vehicle, and pretty soon you’re dunked in a tank or river and yelling that you’ve been saved.”

“Not like that at all governor. This is the real deal. You can get on board and ride this train to Glory.”

“Not on your life. Mr. preacher man.”

“I think you may want to think about life for a moment. What are you going to do now?”

“What do you mean now?”

“Now that you have passed.”

“Passed? What are you talking about?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Driving Sean here and myself to this town.”

“Did you ever enter the town?”

“Well, let me think.”

“Reggie, we were passing that truck, remember?”

“Yes, I do. The bounder wouldn’t let us back in. . .Oh my gosh. We hit a tree.”

“And so here you are at the first stop of the Glory Train. Hop on board.”

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do According to Murphy’s Law

 

The inspiration for this list was thinking of all the things we do on a daily basis that someone else has done before. This naturally brought up the idea of mistakes and how often they are repeated down through history. Then the thought turned to specific laws governing natural phenomena. An example would be Newton’s law of gravity. “What goes up, Must come down,” was inspired by an apple falling on Newton’s head. (or so the story goes.) Finally turning to other laws prompted the inspection of certain laws and most specifically Murphy’s. The law, “What can go wrong will.” After all, some of the laws of science way too boring for this kind of blog. I hope you enjoy.

10 According to Murphy’s Law do not drop a much-needed and irreplaceable hex screw being installed in your current project. If you do, at best it will roll under the bench. At worst it will drop into a drain opening never to be seen again. (Might as well buy another widget for $300.00, Etienne. You’ll never be able to buy a replacement screw that would be ten cents if available.)

9 According to Murphy’s Law, do not buy that horse. If you do, at best you love it forever. At worst, you’ll want to sell it, and there are no buyers. (The sad part, Emeril, is it will outlive you.)

8 According to Murphy’s Law, do not pick a fight with Tiny the WWF champ. If you do, at best Tiny has achieved a new state of Nirvana and will bless you. At worst, you have to come to grips with the fact you are no Bruce Lee. (Looks like those running shoes will get another great workout today, Ellison. You go boy.)

7 According to Murphy’s Law, do not handle that expensive crystal vase. If you do, at best you catch it before it hits the floor. At worst, before you can even think of an excuse, you hear, “What was that breaking sound?” (You should have memorized Murphy’s constant, Eduard. “Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.”)

6 According to Murphy’s Law, do not park your car on the street. If you do, at best you ‘ll only have bird dropping problems. At worst, that Russian Satellite reentering the Earth’s atmosphere conveniently has your car coordinates as a landing site. (You could never imagine this happening, Earvin. That piece of space junk was supposed to burn up. Murphy’s law of falling object had this covered with “A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.”)

5 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to paint a room without an adequate cover on the carpet. If you do, at best you’ll catch every drip. At worst, you’ll only discover the dried paint drips after being pointed out by the person who told you to use an adequate cover.  (Good luck, Emil at the carpet store and that overnight arrangement in the spare room.)

4 According to Murphy’s Law, do not be careless with that expensive power tool while on a twelve-foot ladder. If you do, at best when it falls the cord will hook on something and prevent ground contact. At worst, you’ll be working over concrete, and the cord does not hook to prevent ground contact. (So father’s day will be here before you know it, Edmond. Of course, maybe the family is tired of replacing expensive power tools.)

3 According to Murphy’s Law, do not think because you are late you can make up time on the freeway. If you do, at best there will be light traffic. At worst, that eighteen wheeler turned over, blocking all lanes is just ahead —after you enter the freeway. (Well now, Eachan. You might as well turn off the car and relax. The traffic central says the police need to investigate before moving anything. That job interview can be rescheduled. Aw, too bad your phone is dead and you forgot your charging cord.)

2 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to explain the now quiet noise in your car’s engine to the mechanic. If you do, at best you will cause more confusion. At worst, your mechanic will replace the most expensive element of your engine using your noise as justification. (You are not surprised that the noise returns after you get a block from the mechanic’s garage are you, Eagan?)

1 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to tear that paper towel with one hand. If you do, at best you’ll end up with shreds. At worst, that spill that you are trying to contain will have seeped onto the floor to form a permanent stain in the wood. (I guess you should have known, Eamonn that according to Murphy’s law paper is strongest at the perforation.)