Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

January 19, 2018January 18, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

Another work week down. This one was quite chilly. We had temps in the 80’s on Monday. By Wednesday we were in the 30’s, and the schools were closed due to sleet. I think I have said we are not built for this kind of weather. Today is supposed to rain with a high in the fifties. We can use the rain so no complaints here.

The week saw a continuance of editing The Contract with Gwen Plano. We are so fortunate to have some outstanding Beta readers. They have given us meaningful input, and we are sure the story will be better as a result.

Today’s JohnKu talks about the weather. I hope you have a super weekend

The forecast is rain,

Then snow, sleet, below zero . . .

Can’t they choose just one?

Thursday – A Little Personal – Housebound

January 18, 2018January 17, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

“Hey, Lucy. Do you want to come up here on the couch you look a little down.”

“To tell you the truth, I wish there was something to play with.”

“I know it is boring when you can’t go outside.”

“Yeah, why can’t we go out?

“For heaven’s sake, Lucy. Can you take a look at the thermometer? It is 30 degrees F out there.”

“Whats that in centigrade?

“You tire me out, Lucy. You really do. We can’t go out there even in our blankets.”

“Why’s that?”

“Pops says the wind chill is too much for his old bones. Look at him. He looks zonked.”

“I heard that. I’m not zonked. Just resting my eyes. Mom is going to take care of you two.”

“What is that, Mom? Looks like a hedgehog.”

“These are pigs you two. Now go and have fun.”

“Hold on Mom. Not sure about this.”

“Okay, I’ll set it on the poof. You take your time.

“Hey, Bailey. Come sniff this thing.”

“Hmm. I don’t know about this funny looking thing. Look at the color.”

“Also check out those beady eyes. The thing gives me the creeps”

“Well, Bailey, there is only one thing to do.”

“What is that, Lucy?”

“Pounce, grab, shake, and kill it”

“Boy, you are an animal for sure.”

“Grrrr.”

“Mowaufff.”

“There, there, little piggy. I’ll protect you from the big bad Great White Shark. Can you oink for me?”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

January 17, 2018January 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Sheriff Seth Gibson storming out of Jason McDonnell’s office because he was thwarted from interviewing Lucas without the permission of Lucas’ doctor. My assumption is Jason will talk to the doctor and then get in touch with Seth. We really have to get back to Harriet Murphy’s house. As you will recall, Frank Plano the private eye was on Mrs. Murphy’s porch the last time we were there. The beauty of a serial like this is these characters are frozen until we get back to them. Oops as I sit here chatting Mrs. Murphy is opening the door. Let’s hurry.

“Mr. Plano. Please come in.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Murphy. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Oh no. After all, Alice called you. Would you like some coffee?”

“I sure would. It has been a while since I had my last cup and I could use the pick me up.”

“Very well. Follow me to the parlor. Oh, Here’s Alice. You remember Mr. Plano don’t you?”

“You can call me Frank. It is nice seeing you again.”

“Thank you, Mr. Plano. Why don’t we sit while Mrs. Murphy gets your coffee.”

“Thank you. When we talked on the phone, you mentioned that you and Mrs. Murphy were wanting to tell your side of the story before I turn in my report.”

“Yes, that is true. We think there has been a lot of misinformation and want to set the record strains.”

“I think that is a good thing, Mrs. Weston. Do you mind if I take notes and do you want to wait for Mrs. Murphy?”

“No I don’t mind, and we can go ahead.”

“Okay then. What is it you want to tell me.”

“First of all. . . Wait here is Harriet with the coffee.”

“Hello, all. I took the liberty of putting a plate of scones on the tray. Please help yourself.”

“Oh, my this coffee is delicious.”

“I’m glad you like it. Now here is what we want to say.”

“Shouldn’t you let the poor man enjoy his coffee, Alice?”

“For heaven’s sake Harriet. He can drink and listen at the same time.”

“Very well, I just don’t want to be rude is all.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Murphy, but Mrs. Weston is right. I can listen while I enjoy your fabulous Coffee. Did you make these scones?”

“No, they are from the bakery.”

“Well, they are indeed tasty. Now, what did you want to know?”

“Well, Harriet and I believe we know who killed the Severides.”
“Seriously? Now, who would that be?”

“Well you know we were at their house the night they were killed.”

“Yes, of course.”

“We were trying to score some smack. Well, I was trying to score some smack. Dear Harriet doesn’t believe in such stuff. I shot up and spilled some blood from pulling the needle out. I cleaned it up, and we left.”

“The Severides were alive when you left.”

“Absolutely. Mrs. Severide gave me the paper towels to clean up.”
“So now you are starting to get high.”

“That’s right. I told Harriet that we should get to the car before I nodded off.”

“So you left. Then what?”

“We got in the car which was down the block and then saw a person go into the house.”

“Could you recognize the person?”

“Yes. It was Seth Gibson.”

“You sure about this?”

“Pretty hard to miss him, Mr. Plano.”

“Could you swear to this in court.”

“Absolutely.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on a City Tour

January 15, 2018January 14, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

The inspiration for this post was thinking about super cities and the possibility of taking tours of them. There are not necessarily guided tours but just touring in general.

10 If you are touring Chicago, do not wear your Yankee baseball cap. If you do, at best people will believe you have just been released from the mental hospital. At worst, the police will arrest you for unlawful assembly. (The crowd that gathered trying to convince you to burn your cap did get out of hand right, Cnute?)

9 If you are touring New York City, do not hire Tiny the WWF champ as your tour guide. If you do, at best the only tour stop will be Golds Gym. At worst, you and Tiny will get into a principal argument about going to the 100th floor of the Empire State building. (You had no idea Tiny was afraid of heights did you, Colla? Now it doesn’t matter cause you all you are seeing now is the inside of Bellview Hospital Center.)

8 If you are touring San Francisco, do not shut the cell door on Alcatraz Island. If you do, at best you’ll hear no click. At worst, you will have picked the only cell that automatically locks when the door is closed. (The bad news is the guard with the key retired ten years ago. Yelling won’t help, Conell. Maybe the fire department can figure out a way to release you.)

7 If you are touring London, do not try to make the guard at Buckingham Palace smile. If you do, at best someone will ask you to leave. At worst, you are the 100th person to try today, and the guard’s Zoloft dose has just worn off. (So much for your ugly American imitation, Cruz. Now you have to run.)

6 If you are touring Berlin, do not try to cut to the front of a line. If you do, at best you will be politely told about your rudeness. At worst, you may be rewarded with a knuckle sandwich served without mustard. (I know you are used to doing that, Cyril. Here that is a big no-no.)

5 If you are touring Paris, do not walk down the street eating a croissant. If you do, at best you’ll collect a bunch of stares. At worst, passers-by will mistake you for someone who is mentally challenged and call the medics. (That straight jacket is only for your own protection, Cydney. Might as well relax.)

4 If you are touring Rome, do not speak loudly or in other ways draw attention to yourself. If you do, at best the locals will scowl. At worst, the police will mistake you for a Russian spy. (You can guess how this will turn out huh, Christiano?)

3 If you are touring Madrid, do not mention Francisco Franco, the dictator unless you know the people well. If you do, at best you’ll be forced to listen to a three-hour lecture on the evils of his regime. At worst, you might be mistaken for a follower and end up in a duel.(Why didn’t someone warn you, Crey? Well one would have thought you knew enough to avoid politics with people you don’t know.)

2 If you are touring Cairo, do not bring flowers to your host’s dinner. If you do, at best someone may tell you to dispose of them. At worst, the host will think you are offering condolences or wanting to get married which are the only reasons to bring flowers in Egypt. (Looks like you are getting hitched, Conyn since no one has passed away. Good luck.)

1 If you are touring Moscow, do not keep your seat on the bus if an elderly person has to stand. If you do, at best someone will give up their place but glower at you. At worst, you might be helped off the bus two miles before your stop. (You need to pay better attention to the local rules, Coltrane.)

Book Launch – The Hat by Craig Boyack – Lisa Burton Visits

January 14, 2018January 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

I want to welcome Lisa Burton, Craig Boyack’s personal assistant to Fiction Favorites. She is here to tell you about Craig’s latest book. As you may know, I love Craig’s work and can highly recommend his writing. It is always a pleasure to have her join me here on the coast. Hi, Lisa.

Hi, and thanks for having me over again, John. I love getting away from the cabin and promoting Craig’s books on occasion. It’s a long old winter out there, you know? (I know Lisa especially in the company of Craig)

Today, we’re touring around a novella called The Hat. This one is about a girl, Lizzie, who works hard to overcome the trials of everyday life. She winds up with an old hat that belonged to her grandfather, only this is no ordinary hat. It’s a being from another dimension, trapped in the shape of a hat for all time.

The story involves some baby snatchers and one of the victims is the newborn son of Lizzie’s friends. It turns out the hat has a few skills that might let Lizzie recover the missing babies. By acting in concert they are much more capable than acting as individuals.

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. They rise to the occasion and produce different outcomes. We look up to Superman and all he stands for. We might appreciate The Punisher, but look away because of his methods.

Lizzie and the hat are more like the latter. Without some kind of super strength, or being bulletproof, they don’t have a lot of options beyond hitting first and hitting hard.

It’s a fun story structure, because they start out as strangers, and it doesn’t go too well at first. They bond and form a symbiosis over music of all things. They try to save the children and fail. The important part for all heroes is they try again.

The Hat is humorous, serious, and heroic in its own way. We really hope you’ll give it a chance. It’s priced at 99¢, and since it’s a novella, it will only take an afternoon to read.

Now it’s time for my poster. I like to drop these off with the hosts that invite me. The hat can take the shape of any kind of headwear. This is all spelled out in the story, but there comes a time when the hero emerges from the darkness and steps into the light. This poster is designed to reflect that moment for Lizzie and The Hat.

Feel free to use it as your phone background or whatever you like. I hope in some small way it encourages you to check out The Hat, and maybe even leave a review.

Thanks again for having me today. Now what kind of trouble can a robot girl get into around here?

Blurb:

Lizzie St. Laurent is dealing with many of the struggles of young life. She lost her grandmother, and her living arrangements. Her new roommate abandoned her, and she’s working multiple jobs just to keep her head above water.

She inherits an old hat from her grandmother’s estate, but it belonged to her grandfather. This is no ordinary hat, but a being from an alternate dimension. One with special powers.

Lizzie and the hat don’t exactly hit it off right away, but when her best friend’s newborn is kidnapped by a ring of baby traffickers, Lizzie turns to the hat for help. This leads her deep into her family history and a world she’s never known.

Lizzie gives up everything to rescue the babies. She loses her jobs and may wind up in jail before it’s over. Along the way, she and the hat may have a new way of making ends meet.

Humorous and fun, The Hat is novella length. Wonderful escapism for an afternoon.

Purchase Link: http://a-fwd.com/asin-com=B078YYCNSF

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Views of the Neighborhood – Crochet Art

January 14, 2018January 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

Today’s view of the neighborhood is very unusual. Every year during the holidays an unknown person decorates the bollards that serve to keep cars away from certain parts of the beach. These decorations are hand crochets, and each one is unique. What is surprising is one day they are not there and the next they are. The same goes for when they disappear. I hope you enjoy this mystery. (Where else but in Port Aransas?)

This will give you an idea of what the bollards do. They keep cars from driving on the beach. The building on the right can be seen from a distance as part of the last photo.

A close up of the work put into the crochet.

A nod to Halloween.

Another close up of a character

This shot gives you a sense of the work.

This shot is to give you an idea of the scope.

Another character close up.

These run all the way back to the twin buildings on the left.

I hope you enjoyed the walk. I wish there were more information on who is responsible for this art. The person is anonymous and wants to remain so.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Different Kind of Prompt

January 13, 2018January 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is a little different. Linda Hill asked us to sit down at our writing place and pick up the nearest book, newspaper, note, or anything with words and choose the sixth, seventh and eighth word on the page and that is the prompt. The nearest thing with writing to me is an instruction sheet on making better characters. The sixth word is like the seventh yourself, and the eighth birthdays. So these are my prompt words. If you would like to run yourself ragged and join this fun please visit Linda’s blog and read how. It is easy to go insane. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan Daily Prompt, Jan. 13th, 2018

“Looks like we are in a real pickle.”

“How so?”

“This week is a matter of life and death, right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The prompt. We get it right or we die is what I heard.”

“Who told you that?”

“No one had to tell me. With a prompt like the one in the title, it is clear.”

“So explain it to me.”

“First of all the advice to ‘like yourself’ is something that sounds like a Dr. Phil moment. If that is the case then shoot me.”

“You are missing the commas my, friend. Those are two words like and yourself. Makes an easy prompt.”

“Easy for you. So what do you do with birthdays? Not birthday mind you, but birthdays.”

“You could build a story around how you have a like for birthdays. Not just any birthdays but those for yourself.”

“Oh man. I’m going to put something like that together and you think I won’t be laughed off the stage.”

“Okay then, how about this? When you ask yourself what you like about birthdays what comes to mind?”

“Are you serious. This is the big leagues of the prompt world. Do you know how many big-time bloggers read this stuff?”

“You sure they read it or just hit ‘like?'”

“Let’s assume they read it. I’m not in the mood to be a laughing-stock on Saturday. If you think this prompt is so darn easy why don’t you do it yourself?”

“Okay. Here goes. If you like birthdays, treat yourself to a lollapalooza the next time around.”

“Damn.”

“Damn what?”

“You’re good.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

January 10, 2018January 9, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we learned a little about why Lucas was painting houses. He also gave an opinion that Harriet and Alice were too incompetent to be responsible for the murder of his parents. The final piece of information is that Lucas thinks maybe Seth is involved. Speaking of Seth, i see him going into the lawyer’s office. This could be real interesting, so I think we need to leave Trish and Lucas and head over there.
“There is a Sheriff Gibson here to see you.”
“For heaven’s sake. I wonder what the hell he wants?”
“Shall I tell him you are busy?”
“No. That okay. Tell him to come in.”
“Thank you for seeing me, Jason. I want to advise you that I have a court order here demanding that your client meet me to answer some questions.”
“Why don’t you have a seat Sheriff.”
“Oh. Yes, well, thank you.”
“Now what is this about.”
“Your client is a person of interest in the slaying of his parents and Judge Jeremy has graciously granted me the right to question him.”
“You didn’t need that, Sheriff. I would have allowed you to question Lucas anytime you wanted. All I asked was that I am in his presence when you do so.”
“Yeah, but you got all high and mighty on me. I figured I would get something official so you can’t weasel out of a meeting.”
“Never my intent, Sheriff. I only want to protect my client’s rights. When do you want to see him.”
“I would like to question him as soon as possible.”
“Let me see the order, Sheriff.”
“Sure, here you go.”
“Hmm, says here that access to Lucas will not be unreasonably denied.”
“Yeah. The way I see it, that means right away.”
“Well, sir. The way I see it is you can have access to Lucas when his doctor says he is fit to be questioned. That is not unreasonable.”
“I think not. If I can’t talk to Lucas when I want I think it is an obstruction to the intent of the order.”
“You and I both know that order will need to go back to the judge if you decide to get technical. How about we just find out if Lucas’ doctor has a problem with him being questioned?”
“I think you are trying to delay.”
“If you have to go back to the Judge it may take days.”
“Okay, Mr. McDonnell you win. Give the doctor a call.”
“Hold on, Mr. Gibson. Let me call. Hello, may I talk to Dr. Naismith. Oh, I see. Yes, this is Jason McDonnell. He knows me. Tell him it is a legal matter and I would appreciate a return call. Thank you.”
“What the hell?”
“The doctor is in surgery right now. He won’t get back for a few hours. So what do you want to do?”
“Damn. I sure don’t want to sit around here. Call me when you are ready to meet with me.”
“Very good Sheriff. I will call you. Let me walk you out.”
“Forget it. I know my own damn way out.

Tuesday – Anything possible – Kreative Kue #156 by Keith Channing

January 9, 2018January 8, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The Photo.

“Can you hurry up?”

“One minute. I want to remember this moment with my friends.”

“You’ve taken about twenty photos already. It’s time to leave. We will miss our train if we don’t go now.”

“Do you see how the flower turns toward me when I start to take a picture?”

“No, I don’t see that at all.”

“I think these flowers would like to come with us.”

“You have got to be kidding me. They are planted here.”

“See that fence. Why would you have a fence if they weren’t trying to keep them here?”

“Uh. Maybe to keep nuts like you out of here. You see the no picking flowers sign?”

“Yeah, I saw it. That’s like putting a no touching the prisoner’s sign in a jail. They don’t want any escapes.”

“Listen to yourself. I think you need some help.”

“If we grab as many flowers as we can hold we might have a chance to free most.”

“Where do you get these ideas?”

“I hear voices.”

“Voices?”

“Yes, voices.”

“Okay, now I’m concerned. Where do these voices come from?”

“From the little leaves all around me. They say. “Take me home. Take me home.”

“You sure that’s not your phone.”

“I’m sure.”

“Well, I’m going to leave now. Coming with me?”

“Can I bring a friend?”

“No. It is against the law.”

“Even a little friend?”

“Like one of those leaves?”

“Yes.”

“Fine if you must.”

“Hear that guys? Who wants to go with me?”

“For heaven’s sake.”

“I can’t make up my mind. They all want to go.”

“Look. I’ll get you a package of baby spinach if we leave now.”

“That will do. Let’s go.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Have a Winning Mega Millions Ticket

January 8, 2018January 7, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

The inspiration for this post is the fact that this week there were single winning tickets sold for the Mega Millions and Powerball Lotto games. You and I don’t have to worry about how to handle these winnings so I guess this post is dedicated to those two winners of over $400 million each.

10 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not tweet “Yay I just won $400 million. If you do at best, you’ll only have ten followers. At worst, your tweet will go viral, and you will now have a million close and personal friends. (Looks like everyone needs a loan huh, Carmichael?)

9 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not hire Tiny the WWF champ as a bodyguard. If you do, at best you’ll have to hire another to watch Tiny. At worst, Tiny will not be able to resist helping himself to your winnings even though he is a graduate of an intensive self-help course for kleptomaniacs. (You should have known when he showed up at your door offering his services, Carswell.)

8 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not give a press conference on national TV. If you do, at best it will take you hours to get home because of the traffic jam around your house. At worst, you will be asked for money everyplace you go since you are now well-known. (Who’s bright idea was that conference, Casimero? Oh yeah the lotto company.)

7 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not answer your phone. If you do, at best it might be your aunt, Mary. At worst, it will be your cousin Vinny reminding you of the five dollar bet you had back in high school. (Vinny believes that the interest on the bet now makes it worth $500,000. Told you not to answer the phone, Cassian.)

6 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not claim your prize without consulting a tax attorney. If you do, at best you can afford the tax hit. At worst, the new tax laws will put you in a bracket called the 110 percent bracket. (Good luck in raising the extra $4o million you owe, Caster.)

5 If you have a winning Mega Million ticket, do not go out and buy everything on the planet. If you do, at best you’ll come to your senses while there is still money left. At worst, you’ll realize too late that there is no return guarantee on yachts, planes, castles, jewelry, and art. (Now that you have all this stuff, Cavan maybe it is time for a garage sale.)

4 If you have a winning Mega Million ticket, do not let the ticket out of your sight. If you do, at best it will still be where you left it last. At worst, the ticket will ride in your shirt pocket through the wash. (Those tickets sure come out clean don’t they, Chadburn? You would hardly know it used to be worth $400 million.)

3 If you have a winning Mega Million ticket, do not quit work. If you do, at best the ticket is genuine. At worst, though some computer error your ticket is not the winner. (So much for telling the boss where he could shove your job, huh Chiko?)

2 If you have the winning Mega Millions ticket, do not forget to look both ways before crossing the street. If you do, at best the traffic will be light. At worst, your heirs will be enjoying the fruit of your lotto win. (Hard to tell where that truck came from right, Cal?)

1 If you have the winning Mega Millions ticket, do not fail to set aside some for charity. If you do at best, you’ll be labeled a cheap skate. At worst, you won’t get a charitable deduction, and the world will be no better off having you in it. (You wonder why dogs growl and cats hiss when you come by, Scrooge?)