Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Have a Winning Mega Millions Ticket

~ John W. Howell

Top Ten things not to do

 

The inspiration for this post is the fact that this week there were single winning tickets sold for the Mega Millions and Powerball Lotto games. You and I don’t have to worry about how to handle these winnings so I guess this post is dedicated to those two winners of over $400 million each.

10 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not tweet “Yay I just won $400 million. If you do at best, you’ll only have ten followers. At worst, your tweet will go viral, and you will now have a million close and personal friends. (Looks like everyone needs a loan  huh, Carmichael?)

9 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not hire Tiny the WWF champ as a bodyguard. If you do, at best you’ll have to hire another to watch Tiny. At worst, Tiny will not be able to resist helping himself to your winnings even though he is a graduate of an intensive self-help course for kleptomaniacs. (You should have known when he showed up at your door offering his services, Carswell.)

8 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not give a press conference on national TV. If you do, at best it will take you hours to get home because of the traffic jam around your house. At worst, you will be asked for money everyplace you go since you are now well-known. (Who’s bright idea was that conference, Casimero? Oh yeah the lotto company.)

7 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not answer your phone. If you do, at best it might be your aunt, Mary. At worst, it will be your cousin Vinny reminding you of the five dollar bet you had back in high school. (Vinny believes that the interest on the bet now makes it worth $500,000. Told you not to answer the phone, Cassian.)

6 If you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, do not claim your prize without consulting a tax attorney.  If you do, at best you can afford the tax hit. At worst, the new tax laws will put you in a bracket called the 110 percent bracket. (Good luck in raising the extra $4o million you owe, Caster.)

5 If you have a winning Mega Million ticket, do not go out and buy everything on the planet. If you do, at best you’ll come to your senses while there is still money left. At worst, you’ll realize too late that there is no return guarantee on yachts, planes, castles, jewelry, and art. (Now that you have all this stuff, Cavan maybe it is time for a garage sale.)

4 If you have a winning Mega Million ticket, do not let the ticket out of your sight. If you do, at best it will still be where you left it last. At worst, the ticket will ride in your shirt pocket through the wash. (Those tickets sure come out clean don’t they, Chadburn? You would hardly know it used to be worth $400 million.)

3 If you have a winning Mega Million ticket, do not quit work. If you do, at best the ticket is genuine. At worst, though some computer error your ticket is not the winner. (So much for telling the boss where he could shove your job, huh Chiko?)

2 If you have the winning Mega Millions ticket, do not forget to look both ways before crossing the street. If you do, at best the traffic will be light. At worst, your heirs will be enjoying the fruit of your lotto win. (Hard to tell where that truck came from right, Cal?)

1 If you have the winning Mega Millions ticket, do not fail to set aside some for charity. If you do at best, you’ll be labeled a cheap skate. At worst, you won’t get a charitable deduction, and the world will be no better off having you in it. (You wonder why dogs growl and cats hiss when you come by, Scrooge?)

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Published by John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

61 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Have a Winning Mega Millions Ticket”

  1. Oh gosh, I forgot to buy a ticket — again. Well, I don’t have to worry about these ten points, but it might have been fun to do so. Next week maybe… 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Would you believe I’ve never purchased a lottery ticket?? A big part of me just doesn’t believe in laying out good money for something that’s beyond my control.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. My dad used to say if we won big ‘it would ruin everything.’ I think there is a lot of truth in that, I like the idea of having a ticket and dreaming of the win. Thankfully here we don’t have prizes of the obscene amount you listed above. Its a terrifying amount to be responsible for isn’t it.

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  13. These are great, John, but so far, I have nothing to worry about. 🙂 I will say, though, that more people should win a million than one person winning $400 mil. That is just too much money for any one person. It can either benefit or ruin life. It is fun dreaming though, and I play once in a great while when I remember. 🙂

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  14. This past weekend, not only did I enter the weekend thinking I would win Mega Millions on Friday night, I also thought I would win Powerball on Saturday …. so I can’t believe I didn’t win anything!

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  17. All good sound advice. The lawyer especially. I’d set up a charitable foundation, after making sure my retirement is secure. That way if people need money they can apply to the foundation! Lovely dreaming, isn’t it?

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  19. I’d also add ‘if you have a winning Mega Millions ticket, make sure it is all six winning numbers you have and not just two that get you a lucky dip.’ Should have had that party at The Savoy, London after getting your winnings”. 😀
    If I ever did get all the winning numbers on one line, would I carry on blogging, John? 🤔

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