Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

 

 

Hump Day Twiggy
“What are you doing, Twiggy?”
“Waiting for Friday and my seal pup impersonation.”
“Okay. Carry on.”

It is Wednesday Story Day, and last week we were in the room when Pricilla started her interrogation of Lazar. We learned that Cortez and Taggert were the guys in charge of the illegal activities around Reno. We also learned that Nikola Stanković was not involved in the nefarious activities of Cortez, Taggert, and Lazar. Now the question is, do we believe lazar? I see Pricilla took a break from Lazar and is leading the discussion in the conference room with our gang. Let’s go and see what she’s thinking.

“Okay, guys, here are my thoughts. I think Lazar has a lot to lose by fingering Stanković, and so he might be hiding something.”

“Excuse me.”

“Sure, Larry. Go ahead.”

“Stankovic was the one who told us about Lazar. If he was involved, why would he do that?”

“I could think of a few reasons.”

“Well, he did say he wanted to eliminate the competition.”

“That sounds like a good front. Stanković knows Lazar won’t rat him out, so he has nothing to lose by throwing Lazar under the bus.”

“Okay, but let’s look at the other side.”

“Which is.”

“Suppose Taggert and Lazar are a pain in Stanković’s side. Suppose he wants to get rid of them. What better way than to use us?”

“Yeah, I get that. What makes him think we won’t come after him?”

“I can answer that.”

“Yes, Robert.”

“Half the city council, most of the state representatives, a few congresspeople, and one senator owe him a ton of favors.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I were. He has done a lot for those people. Believe me, if we go after him, all hell’s going to break loose.”

“You know I represent the Federal Government and could prosecute those folks as well.”

“The sad part is I don’t believe Stanković’s help could be classified as crimes.”

“What about bribery?”

“You would have to prove a quid pro quo, and I’m not sure there is one.” Most of these favors were legal contributions, charity donations, jobs for kids in his legitimate businesses. Would be tough to prove bribery.”

“You sound like a fan.”

“I worked in his auto garage all through college. I didn’t know it was his, though.”

“Has he ever mentioned it?”

“You looking for a case, madam prosecutor?”

“I guess it sounded that way. You do know Stanković pretty well.”

“Enough to respect when he says he wants to eliminate Lazar, Cortez, and Taggert, he means it.”

“Okay. Let’s assume he is not involved in this mess. Let’s go back in and find out how deeply Lazar knows about the Taggert and Cortez connection.”

“Good idea, Pricilla. I don’t buy that he is just a small-time distributor who took a payment from Taggert. I also don’t buy that his knowledge of Cortez is just cause he heard the name from Taggert.”

“I’m with you, Robert. I also want to know if he was the one who ordered those thugs to kill Andrew and me?”

“If so, Larry, this would be an interesting tie to your Sandusky. Case.”

“Thank you. Robert.”

“You gentlemen are going to need to fill me in on all of this. Let’s go and find out more about Cortez and we can talk more later.

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #277 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #277

Duck and Cover by John W. Howell © 2020

“Now, I have to ask.”

“Go ahead.”

“Why the jacket over your head? You been arrested?”

“No. Nothing like that. It’s this new camera.”

“What about it?”

“I can’t see the subject because the light is too bright.”

“You seem to be the only one with that problem.”

“So is everybody looking at me?”

“No narcissistic one. Everyone couldn’t care less about you.”

“That is good news.”

“Why are you so concerned?”

“Well, there is another reason I have this jacket over my head.”

“I certainly hope so. For the amount of money you paid for the camera, it should do everything, bright light or no.”

“Yeah, it’s not the camera. It’s me.”

“So, are you going to tell me?”

“I’ll show you. Make sure no one is looking.”

“Okay, the coast is clear no one is looking. OMG, what happened to your nose?”

“It grew.”

“I can see that. How did that happen?”

“I’m not sure. I was telling that young lady over there about picture taking, and it started to grow.”

“Wait a minute. Slow down. What were you telling that young lady?”

Uh…about my lens.”

“What about your lens?”

“That it takes great portraits.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And that being a professional photographer …”

“Hold it. Is that when your nose started to grow?”

“Not that I noticed.”

“I think I have the cause of the problem.”

“What is it?”

“It’s called the Pinocchio Effect.”

“What’s that?”

“Just one more question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Did you ask her to model for you?”

“Well, I er…”

“The nose knows.”

“What should I do now?”

“Go tell her you are not a professional.”

“Pretty embarrassing.”

“You’d rather have that nose?”

“Good point.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Great Moon Hoax of 1838

 

Top Ten Things not to do

This week marks the  185th anniversary of the appearance of the first in a series of six articles in the New York Sun newspaper announcing the supposed discovery of life on the moon. Now, we cannot miss going there to get a feeling of how folks back then could have been fooled by such a story. So that we don’t disrupt the time continuum we need to take the usual list of what not to do.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Great Moon Hoax of 1835

10 If you go, do not laugh out loud when you read the first installment. If you do, at best, folks will think you are reading about the latest divorces. At worst, the editor Benjamin Day will think you have caught on to the hoax. (You see, Macon the paper was founded in 1833, and the articles about life on the moon were written by Richard Adams Locke as satire in response to some other ideas put forward at the time. If Day knows you know, he might have to figure out a way to silence you. Oh, oh, who are those men in black suits?)

9 If you go, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ if he has seen any men form the moon. If you do, at best Tiny won’t be paying attention. At worst, Tiny, who has had one wrestling match over the line, will think you are teasing him. (One of the descriptions of men from the moon describes them as furry winged, bats. Tiny hates things that could get caught in his hair. He is planning to use you to swat them out of the air. Don’t worry Maddock, we all know they aren’t real. Yeah, you are right. Tiny might let you go if he gets tired, spinning your around while holding your legs. Yup, it might hurt.)

8 If you go, do not ask Benjamin Day how he can afford to sell his paper for a penny. If you do, at best he’ll ignore you. At worst, since he made the decision to appeal to the working class, he’ll consider you as a bourgeoise member of the leisure class. (So he didn’t answer your question, Madog. Don’t feel bad.  His price of a penny (26¢ today) was so working folks could have a paper. Other papers cost 5¢ ($1.04). He doesn’t like the leisure class much.)

7 If you go, do not ask Day about the other content of the newspaper. If you do, at best, Day will be busy. At worst, Day will think you are working for the New York Times. (Day decided that his low-income readership would like to know more about life than book reviews and the theater. He was the first to send out reporters to cover crimes, suicides, deaths, and divorces. He is now talking to those two big guys dressed in black, Maged. I don’t think your departure is going to be all that dignified)

6 If you go, do not question the so-called facts in the story. If you do, at best, the noise level in the room will drown you out. At worst, you could question the facts within earshot of the Reverand Thomas Dick. (Not only does the Reverand have an unfortunate name, Maher, but he has also published a number of best-selling books where he describes the moon as having 4.2 billion inhabitants. The story was written as a tongue in cheek jibe at the Reverand. Yes, I would say he is angry. Yes, that does look like a gun.)

5 If you go, do not start a Go Fund Me campaign for a trip to the moon. If you do, at best, everyone will think you are joking. At worst, Benjamin will want to put a quick stop to your efforts. (Day is very happy with the newspaper sales and views your efforts as potentially damaging. (If everyone decided to go to the moon, Mai, they would lose interest in the stories, and the sales would fall. Looks like the sheriff has been called. Something about unlicensed fundraising.)

4 If you go, do not start selling souvenirs from the moon. If you do, at best, you’ll get no buyers. At worst, you’ll be asked to authenticate the objects as being from the moon. (The articles in the newspaper detailed descriptions of the moon’s amethyst crystals. I guess you could use those descriptions as proof of authenticity, Mairtin. Just stay out of Benjamin Days way, though. He’ll want a cut of the profits.)

3 If you go, do not start describing how delicious a Royal Crown Cola and Moon Pie are together. If you do, at best no one will get it. At worst, everyone will want some. (Now you are in trouble, Majid. Royal Crown Cola was first made in 1905, and the moon pie was invented in 1917. Maybe you could whip something up before that crowd of hungry onlookers pay you a visit.)

2 If you go, do not demonstrate your version of Michael Jackson’s moonwalk. If you do, at best everyone will have left. At worst, you will shock the crowd into disbelief. (You also will have a tough time explaining just how you came to invent what will be known as Makani’s moonwalk, Makani. Whatever happened to trying to prevent a tear in the time continuum.)

1 If you go, do not try to help a group of Yale scientists who have come to review the information behind the stories. If you do, at best they won’t believe you. At worst, the scientists would learn from you enough to blow the whole story. (Calm down, Maklolm. Yes, the scientists did come to investigate. The New York Sun staff kept them so busy they went back to Yale, never knowing the stories were a hoax. So you did not cause a tear, and the paper admitted the stories were fake a month later.)

Views of the Neighborhood and a Surprise

Another slow day in the neighborhood, so I thought I would catch up on my top of the mailbox photo collection. Just as I was finishing up, I came upon a surprise.

Views of the neighborhood

The car in the foreground is a 1954 Cheverlot Bel-Aire. The one with the hood up is a 1967 Pontiac GTO. The green one is a 1956 Plymouth Belvedere. I was on a road with no pull-off and a truck behind me, so this was as good as I could get.

Views of the neighborhood

So, back to the mailbox toppers. Here is an eagle that made me cautious in taking the photo.

The sun makes it hard, but this is a bright metal bowl.

Here is a cute bowl of succulents.

Kind of mid-century modern.

Big ole yellow bowl. The sign says its a wildlife sanctuary. (In the middle of a subdivision? Right. I guess it makes the owner feel better.)

A non-descript rock. Looks almost like sandstone.

Here is that cute raccoon-like figure. I couldn’t resist.

Big gothic bowl. Looks like something used in sacrifice.

Perkey cat. Can’t help but smile.

An urn that looks like a fire should be burning in it.

Little white bird.

This is a pig but hard to tell. You can see I’m coming up on those cars.

I hope you enjoyed the tour. We had some rain today, and I wanted to take a photo of the rain gauge, but Twiggy kicked it over before I got to it.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Brush”

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. Here is Linda Hill carrying a valise. I hope she is here to tell us about the prompt this week. Hi Linda. Welcome. “Hello, John. Yes, I’m here with this week’s prompt. Let me set this case up on the table. You are in for a treat, but let’s get to the prompt first. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘brush.’ Use it as a noun, a verb, or an idiom. Have fun! ”

“Okay, Linda, that sounds pretty. Self-explanatory. What is in the case?”

“I have a deal for you. How many times have you wanted to clean something and didn’t have the right tool? Don’t answer that. Many times I’m sure. Well, now your troubles are over. I have, in this case, every kind of brush known to man.”

“Are you working for the Fuller Brush Company?”

“No, I have my own brush company, Hill’s Brushes. Our motto, “Brush up your life with Hills.”

“I think I’m all set in the brush department, Linda. Thank you for the prompt. By the way, how is ‘brush’ used as an idiom?”

“You gotta brush up on your idioms, John.”

“That’s why I’m asking.”

“No, you see I just used an idiom.”

“Oh, I see. We have also have used ‘brush’ as a noun.”

“Yup. Now all you need is a verb, and you’ll collect those bonus points for sure. Well, since you have no need for a brush, I guess I’ll be going.”

“Wait, Linda.”

“What?”

“You have something on your shoulder there. Looks like dog hair.”

“I can’t see it.”

“Here, give me that brush, and I’ll brush it off.”

“Here you go. How close are you to that Bentley Turbo?”

“Maybe a thousand points or so. There I got the hair.”

“Thank you, John. You just earned ten bonus points for the verb.”

“Verb? Oh, I get it. Thank you, Linda. Good luck in the brush business.”

“Another ten points.”

“Wow, What for?”

“Adjective. See ya.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

Twiggy and Lucy
“I’ll give you to the count of three to get away.”
“I won’t need three, Lucy. This is Friday after all.”

 

Yes, Friday is here, and with it, another week is history. I’m still working to get ready for the launch of Eternal Road – The final stop. The material is ready, and now I have to wait to get the links after I hit publish. I have decided to not do a preorder this time around so I’m trying to time the launch, so there is as little downtime as possible between the go-live and start of the promotions. Don’t we all love to have these problems?

I don’t know about you but when it comes to launching a book, I always get a crick in my neck from worrying about every detail. You would think after six books I would be used to it. Not a chance.

Today’s JohnKu tries to describe how a deadline feels. I hope you all have a great week.

 

Tense by John W. Howell © 2020

The details so many,

The minutes seemingly few . . .

The neck yells for help.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy Outside

Lucy and Twiggy

“Lucy. What’s up?”

“Trying to take a sun bath.”

“Well, at least you are out where the sun is. Too hot for me.”

“Oh, give it a try, Little One. You might like it.”

“Let’s see. If I do my pointer imitation, it doesn’t seem so hot.”

“You are close to making a fool of yourself.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Everyone knows you are a bulldog. Bulldogs don’t point.”

“Well, I never. Who says so?”

“It is just a well know fact.”

“I suppose It’s believed Bulldogs don’t hunt too.”

“Oh, no. People believe Bulldogs hunt. Some say that’s why they were bred.”

“In fact, Boxers were bred to hunt too.”

“Very interesting, Lucy. But I’m bored now.”

“So, where you going?”

“I think I’m going to the patio and order up a cool drink.”

“Now, you are dreaming. Who’s going to bring you a refreshing drink?

“You have to be kidding. Bulldogs make the best people trainers there are.”

“You won’t get the boss to bring you a drink.”

“I would place money on that, but Bulldogs don’t gamble.”

“Come back here. It is about time to go in. It is sweltering.”

“So why am I waiting for you? Bulldogs are very fast.”

“So I’ve heard. Old Boxers are very slow.”

“So I see.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

 

 

Hump Day with Twiggy and Lucy
“You wearing sunscreen, Lucy?”
“Umf. Uh. yeah.”
“Have to be careful. Two more days till Friday.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week, we met Pricilla Thomas, the Assistant District Attorney for the Federal judicial district covering Reno and Lake Tahoe. She also met Lazar and made it quite clear who was in charge. It looks like she is ready to start questioning Lazar, so I think we better get over there.

 

“Mr. Stennis, I will be recording this session, so that we have an accurate depiction of the conversation. This recording will not take the place of a signed affidavit and will be used to simply record today’s discussion for possible use in an affidavit. I hope you understand that this recording is in lieu of a court reporter. A court reported may or may not be necessary in the future, but for today, the recording will suffice. A copy of this recording will be made available to you. Let me advise though, anything your client says can and may be used against him in a court of law. Do you understand what I have covered?”

“Yes, ADA Thomas. My client and I understand.”

“Okay, then let me turn on the recording, and we can get underway. Ahem This is an informal discussion with Lazar Popović. Present is his attorney Jerry Stennis as well as representatives of the State patrol and Boston police department. I have explained that this recording could be used in a court of law, but that official documents would be generated should this become necessary. Council for Mr. Popović has agreed to the terms. My first question to you, Mr. Popović, do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

“I do.”

“You understand that lying to a federal officer is a felony and punishable by up to ten years in jail per count?”

“I was not aware but don’t intend to tell any lies.”

“Fair enough. For the record, please state your full name.”

“Uh Lazar Matija Popović.”

“And your address?”

“1663 Piney Woods Drive. Reno, Nevada “

“Thank you. Are you an American citizen?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, now to some more interesting stuff. Please tell me how you came to have all those drugs in your possession.”

“Objection.”

“Yes, Mr. Stennis.”

“It has not been established that Mr. Popović was in possession of any drugs.”

“Fair point. Let me ask you a different way, Mr. Popović. Have you ever been in possession of large amounts of illegal controlled substances or street drugs?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Were you in possession of the drugs seized in a raid on your warehouse yesterday?”

“It was my warehouse, and I knew the drugs were there.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Well, it is hard to answer your question truthfully.”

“How so?”

“I didn’t own the drugs.”

“I didn’t ask if you owned them, I asked if you were in possession of them.”

“Does possession mean that they are on my property?”

“Yes, it does.”

“Okay then, yes, I was in possession of the drugs.”

“Now to your other point. Who owned the drugs?

“See, I’m not really sure. I know who paid me to store them.”

“Okay, who was that?”

“Mr. Taggert.”

“The assistant city attorney for Reno Taggert?”

“The very same.”

“How did he pay you?”

“in cash.”

“You were paid how much in cash?”

“For that lot, three million give or take.”

“Where is the money now?”

“Still in my bedroom at my house. It’s a pretty big bundle.”

“I’ll bet it is. Back to Taggert.”

“Yes?”

“Do you have any idea who he is working for?”

“I do, but it would be conjecture. At least I know who Taggert said would be very disappointed it anything happened to the drugs before they were distributed.”

“Okay, who was that?’

“He mentioned Cortez.’

“Did he also mention Nikola Stanković?”

“He wouldn’t dare.”

“Tell me more.”

“Stanković has the power to eliminate Taggert just for saying his name.”

“So, he’s not involved in your deal?”

“Not to my knowledge.”

“Just Cortez and Taggert.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, let’s take a break for a minute. We’ll be right back.”

 

Tuesday – A Little Personal -Kreative Kue #276 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #276

Magic by John W. Howell © 2020

“You aren’t going to do that now, are you?”

“No one is looking, so why not?”

“Just seems like a risk is all.”

“Okay, now that I’m halfway there, tell me about your view of the risk.”

“First off, you are not sure where you’re going to land.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I can’t see anything right now.”

“So come on back and let’s talk about it.”

“Good idea. So I’m back.”

“What makes you decide to up and dematerialize for no apparent reason. You know how dangerous it is. What if we are discovered?”

“Oh, come on. Aren’t you being a little dramatic?”

“Talk about dramatic. What if someone had seen you half here? They would have a fit. You should see yourself with one leg.”

“I’ve seen you plenty of times. It doesn’t bother me.”

“You dope. That’s because we are the same species. We are not humans.”

“Speaking of that. Did you ever see one of them without garments? Talk about a fit.”

“No, and I don’t want to. Besides that is off the subject. You know very well the rules of dematerialization require absolute privacy before engagement.”

“Look around. It’s just you and me and those young ones over there.”

“My point exactly. The young ones can see you.”

“What do they know?”

“Enough to tell their parents.”

“And we just deny the whole thing.”

“That may work, but right now, I’m tired of this discussion.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I think I’m going to resume my own appearance and go home.”

“Wait, I’ll come with you.”

“Suit yourself. I just think it’s time.”

“You homesick?”

“Maybe. I think when you started to dematerialize for no reason, it reminded me of how much I miss being able to do that whenever I want.”

“So what form are you.”

“Oh, that’s right, you never met the real me.”

“No. Just the human-like you.”

“Here I am.”

“A toad? You’re a toad?”

“Disappointed?”

“Well, I never expected a toad.”

“Show me you.”

“Here.”

“You are a toad as well.”

“I know, right?”

“OMG, this is amazing.”

“Maybe we were meant for each other.”

“Hold on there toady. Let’s take it slow.”

“Can I buy you a fly.”

“I would love that.”

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Yukon Gold Strike in 1896

 

Top Ten things not to do
Pixabay image

This week marks the anniversary of the discovery of gold in the Yukon territory in Canada in 1896. This was the last big gold strike in North America. We don’t want to miss out on the opportunity. As always, we need to take the list to ensure we don’t make any errors that could cause a time continuum tear. Grab the list and a canteen, and we’ll be off.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Yukon Gold Stike in 1896 by John W. Howell © 2020.

10 If you go, do not buy one of those mining kits called “Yukon Outfits” that are being sold everywhere. If you do, at best, maybe something will come in handy. At worst, you will have spent a pretty penny on useless equipment. (Oh look, Malachi. You have a can of beans in that kit. It might be nice to have a can opener.)

9 If you go, do not cross that line in the sand drawn by Tiny, the WWF champ. If you do, at best, you’ll have a gift for Tiny. At worst, Tiny will assume you are trying to jump his claim. (The big problem with Tiny, Mika is his inability to restrain himself once he gets agitated. Sure, you can try to talk him out of tossing you into the bottomless ravine, but history says you won’t be successful. Oh look, I think you made Tiny smile. Nope, just gas.)

8 If you go, do not think you are the only one going. If you do, at best, you may find an unclaimed spot. At worst, you’ll get there and have nowhere to mine for gold. (You see, Milan. Once the word got out, over 50,000 miners converged on the scene in the first two years. There was minimal unclaimed land)

7 If you go, do not ask the young miner Jack London how his mining is going. If you do, at best, he will think you are talking to someone else. At worst, he’ll try to sell you his claim. (Jack London was 21 and not very successful as a miner, Monte. He did write his first book in 1900. It was a collection of short stories about his mining experiences titled  The Son of Wolf. You should have gotten his autograph.)

6 If you go, do not ask George Carmack how his claim is doing. If you do, at best he won’t answer. At worst, he will pull out his .44 and ask you why you want to know. (You should know Merrick that George Carmack, along with his brother in law Skookum Jim and nephew Tagish Charlie was the guy who went salmon fishing in the Yukon and first discovered nuggets of gold. He eventually pulled out over a million dollars worth. Which today would be worth $30,000,000.)

5 If you go, don’t tell anyone that you think the gold may run out. If you do, at best they won’t believe you. At worst, you might cause a panic among the miners. (In fact, Mac. several miners sold their claims to mining companies who continued to mine for gold as late as 1966. Today there are still 200 small mines operating in the area.)

4 If you go, do not forget your warm clothes. If you do, at best you can borrow some. At worst, no one will loan you anything, and it is 60 degrees below zero. (I would say you need to pull that lever marked “home,” MacGillivray. If not you are going to freeze to death.)

3 If you go by boat like most and land at Skagway Alaska, do not think you can ride to the goldfields. If you do, At best someone will set you straight. At worst, you won’t realize that it is a 550-mile walk. (Also, the Canadian government won’t let you cross the border without at least 2000 pounds of supplies. So here you are Machau. You need to figure out how to lug 2000 pounds and walk 550 miles before you can even look for gold. I think it is time to head home since the store seems to be out of mules right now.)

2 If you go, do not believe Nikola Tesla that his x-ray machine will find gold without digging. If you do, at best you still won’t buy it. At worst, you will purchase the device. (As could be expected Mackinley, the machine proved worthless unless the gold was sitting on top of the ground. Obviously, if it was on top of the ground, you wouldn’t need the machine. Now go ask Nick for your money back.)

1 If you go, do not think you are going to get rich. If you do, at best you won’t lose all the money you have. At worst, you’ll be one of those who sold everything they had to go gold mining and lost it all. (It may surprise you to know, MacLaren that of the 100,000 men who headed for the Yukon, only 50,000 made it to the goldfields. Out of that number, only 4000 actually found gold. Even so, the amount of gold discovered was over a billion dollars worth in today’s value.)