Top Ten Things Not to Do While Women Prohibitionists Smash 12 Saloons in Kansas in 1901

January 28, 2019January 27, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 69 Comments

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. This week is the anniversary of the 1901 smashing of twelve saloons in Kansas by women prohibitionists lead by Carrie Nation. If you have the ability to time travel to that event this list is designed to keep you out of trouble.

10 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not try to sneak a sip from your flask of Jack Daniels. If you do, at best you’ll be unseen. At worst, the prohibitionist will be tempted to treat you like a piece of the bar. ( You should have thought about that drink, Garbhan. Maybe the fact that everyone was wielding a hatchet might have given you a hint. Lucky you got hit with the dull end.)

9 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not try to hold on to your bottle while Tiny the WWF champ is attempting to pull it from your hand. If you do, at best it will slip out. At worst, Tiny who just lost his last marble in a game has no intention of losing a tug of war over a bottle of bourbon. (Best to let him have it, Garet. His big hand is on your head, and he is getting ready to squeeze. I’ve seen him open cantaloupes this way)

8 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not wear your “One Man One Vote” T-shirt. If you do, at best you can talk fast and save yourself. At worst, it will be assumed you are not in favor of women’s suffrage. (That would be like wearing a honey coated shirt to a bear convention, Garrard. Just not done.)

7 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not shed a tear as all those bottles of booze get smashed. If you do, at best they may think something got in your eye. At worst, you might be mistaken for an anti-temperance person. (Getting tossed out of the bar on your ear is better than a lot of possibilities, Garrson. Consider yourself lucky.)

6 If you are there with Carrie Nation, do not try to sing hymns if you don’t know the words. If you do, at best someone may find you a hymnal. At worst, the group may consider you an outsider and want you gone. (If you had only hummed the tune, you would have been home free, Garton. BTW it is “Bringing in the Sheaves” not “Hide the Shives.”

5 If you are with Carrie Nation, do offer to order take out after the “hatchetations.” If you do, at best no one will understand what you mean. At worst, you will give your time traveler status away. (There are still a lot of people who believe in witches, Garwood. Looks like a big pile of firewood is left from the bar. I think I would book out of there.)

4 If you are with Carrie Nation, do not start talking about the Kansas City Chiefs while chopping up saloons. If you do, at best you will be ignored. At worst, someone will ask you what you are talking about. (Since the Kansas City Chiefs were named in 1963 you are a little ahead of yourself, Gavino. Also, Ms. Nation wants to speak in private. Never a good thing.)

3 If you are with Carrie Nation, do not mistakenly call her Lizzy Bordon. If you do at best, she never heard of Lizzy. At worst, since Lizzy became famous in 1892, Carrie is well aware of who she is. (Good luck trying to explain it was the hatchet that made you make the mistake, Gearald. You see Lizzy was accused of using an ax to commit murder.)

2 If you are with Carrie Nation, do not argue with her when she claims to have invented the airplane. If you do, at best she will tire of trying to convince you. At worst, she will tire of you. (You have to remember she is the one with the hatchet, Gedalyahu. You’ve seen that look in her eye before.)

1 If you are with Carrie Nation, try not to be arrested by the police. If you do, at best you are only charged with a misdemeanor. At worst, the police have decided to make an example of the Carrie Nation and her band. (The judge has given you a fine that amounts to over $15,000 in today’s money, Gennadi. I think you should hot the time travel button and get out of there. I hope you didn’t give them your real name.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Potpourri

January 27, 2019January 26, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Today is a sampling of some things. I started with the idea of face boards and then got a little distracted with other things along the way. I hope you enjoy today’s tour.

Here is a face board for a storage facility. You can also see their Farley boat.

This is in front of our vet’s office

Stingrays is a restaurant and bar

This is the Gaff’s face board. Notice that annoying fender in the way.

The fender belongs to the Gaff staff car

Of course, there are belt sander races this weekend. No, we are not going.

I love this blessing box.

A little lending library too.

The front of a gift shop.

Oceans of Seafood. A bar and restaurant.

A reminder of what can happen if you are not careful.

Coastal Ed’s Gold Cart rental

The tackle shop

The souvenir shop

A dolphin in the parking lot. Blown off the building by Hurricane Harvey.

A giant chambered nautilus sharing the fate of the dolphin.

Wilton’s Candy board

Winton’s door showing the water line of Harvey.

This one is for Craig Boyack and his Voyage of the Lanternfish pirate fantasy story.

A lovely story of the Sand Dollar.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “ad/add/AD (Anno Domini).”

January 26, 2019January 25, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again and this weeks prompt is “ad/add/AD (Anno Domini).” There is good news, Linda Hill says there are bonus points if we use all in the post today. I’m all over the bonus points cause this week’s points added to the three years previous points get me that Grande Mocha Latte I have been wanting. If you would like to have your wants fulfilled, go to Linda’s blog and find out how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 26th

“I bet I can beat you at dominos.”

“What are you doing?”

“Preparing for church.”

“What’s with the domino challenge.”

“Its part of the service. It’s going to be in Latin.”

“You cannot be that dumb.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dominus stands for The Lord like in Dominus vobiscum. The Lord be with you. Not dominos.”

“I suppose you also know what Anno Domini means.”

“I do but what does that have to do with what we were talking about?”

“Well, I hear it a lot in history class.”

“Good grief and you never asked?”

“Don’t want to look like a fool.”

“I get that, but would amend it to ‘Look more like the fool I am'”

“That’s cold. So what does it mean?”

“In the year of Our Lord.”

“When?”

“Please stop.”

“Okay, I’ll just add that to my list.”

“What list?”

“Of new things I’ve learned.”

“Good idea.”

“You see that ad on TV?”

“What ad.”

“The one where you can learn a language in thirty days.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I want to take English.”

“You may actually be successful with that.”

“You think?”

“No.”

Now I gotta go get that latte.

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

January 25, 2019January 25, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

“Lucy. It’s Friday.”
“I’m ready Little One.”

Ah, another Friday which is another word for par-teee. Always nice to see the eve of the weekend. I hope your week was a good one. Gwen Plano and I received our manuscript back from the editor and were both impressed with the quality of work. She did a marvelous job taking our text and helping the story. Of course, Gwen and I tried to write a book all while having surgeries. I would not recommend that profile to anyone.

As we say, all is well that ends well and we are now hopeful of having a book that folks will enjoy reading. We decided to go with a mystery story rather than a thriller.

The title is The Predator a world domination fight to the finish.

Here is a preliminary blurb:

After the death of Brad and Sarah, it is apparent that a force is behind a plot to take over the leadership of the world. The murder of the two becomes only one small piece of a sinister plan to eliminate world leaders and take control.

Governments are infiltrated with the perpetrator’s allies and minions so no one can be trusted.

A small band of Brad and Sarah’s admirer’s vow to stop the evil expansion and eliminate the leader. The group comes under attack, and the question becomes will they survive and stop The Predator before the word is lost?

Today’s JohnKu talks about trying to do too much. I hope you have a great weekend.

When your body talks,

It is telling you to stop . . .

Take time to listen.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy and Twiggy Play Tag

January 24, 2019January 23, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

“Hey, Lucy…. LUCY.”

“Huh? I was looking at that bumblebee.”

“You want to play tag?”

“We always play tag. How about another game?”

“Ha. You’re it.”

“Oof. My goodness kid.”

“Can’t catch me.”

“I’m still trying to catch my breath.”

“Okay. I’ll wait for you.”

“You are so kind, Little one.”

“OMG for a big moose you sure are fast.”

“They called me the freight train at the shelter.”

“Shelter? You are a rescue, Lucy?”

“Yes, Little One. My old family didn’t want me anymore.”

“Oh gosh. Who wouldn’t want you, big sister.”

“Well let’s just say, some folks deserve to be alone. Now, you are it.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

January 23, 2019January 22, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

“Lucy. I think I see Friday from here.”
“Sorry Little Potato that is Wednesday wearing a Friday hat.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again and last week we were there when Andrew and Larry discussed what to do as a result of Larry insulting Cortez to his face. The best Larry could come up with is to “find somebody who really knows what went on.” I think we all did a double take on that one since it would require finding someone who would be willing to rat out the biggest killer on the planet. Let’s get back to Larry since he is walking into Micki’s fortune telling shop.

“Why hello detective. Glad to see you again.”

“Hi, Ms. Lee. I think I need some help again.”

“You can call me Micki. What’s the problem now?”

“Gloria told me to follow the motive and I would find the suspect in the Sandusky murder.”

“So?”

“We think we found the motive.”

“Okay. Who is the “we?’”

“Andrew and me.”

“Oh, that too handsome for his clothes, Andrew?”

“Er. I suppose.”

“We had such a nice cup of tea.”

“Yes, well. I wonder if we can talk to Gloria?”

“I think that could be arranged. Come with me.”

“Thank you.”

“Make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes and I’ll see if Gloria is available.”

“Oh, my goodness, detective. Gloria is on holiday.”

“On holiday? How do you know that?”

“There is a note on her ethereal portal.”

“Ethereal portal? What the heck is an ethereal portal.”

“It is the place where I go to summon a spirit. Each spirit has their own.”

“You say Gloria is on holiday.”

“Yes, she will be gone for two of our weeks.”

“Where the heck did she go for a holiday if she is in heaven?”

“She really didn’t say. I’ll read you the note. Hello all. Thank you for stopping by but I have gone on holiday and will be back next lune day. Love, Gloria.”

“Hello, all. Who is she talking about?”

“I’m sure it is a message for her heavenly friends.”

“Well, that just takes the cake. I may not be alive in two weeks.”

“My goodness, detective. What is the problem?”

“It is a long story, Ms. Lee. I’m sure you have better things to do than hear my troubles.”

“Would it have anything to do with that horrible man Cortez?”

“How on Earth did you know.”

“It’s not Earth where I get my information. I have other sources.”

“So, what am I to do.”

“If it were me, and it is not me, you understand. I would get the goods on one of his closest associates and see if you can get him to turn against Cortez.”

“I had the same idea, and Andrew pooh-poohed it.”

“He’s good looking but not always far-sighted.”

“Okay then. You’ve made me feel a lot better. I think a lot of folks thought I had lost it.”

“You had better work quickly though. I can feel the wrath of Cortez starting to build.”

“He killed Sandusky, right?”

“I’m not that sure. If you can get someone to tell you what went down that night, I think you can make a case. Now, how about a nice hot cup of tea before you leave?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #203 by Keith Channing

January 22, 2019January 21, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Captain Tom this is Houston.”

“Go ahead Houston.”

“Is this Captain Tom?”

“Excuse me but are you new to the team?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Do you know how many of us are here?”

“Where?”

“In outer space.”

“Well, I’m quite sure we are not alone if that’s what you mean.”

“Okay let me start over. You called for Captain Tom. I answered. You then asked if I were Captain Tom.”

“Yes so?”

“Who the heck do you think I am?”

“No need to be prickly. I was just following protocol.”

“I’m sitting in this cramped capsule which as far as I know is the only cramped capsule orbiting the Earth right now. You called me and then have the cheek to ask if I am Captain Tom.”

“I’m beginning to see your point. You are on a mission, and the only one on that mission, and I called you.”

“What does that tell you?”

“Since we are on the same frequency I would guess that you are Captain Tom.”

“So why did you ask? I know I’m making a mountain out of a hillock but with nothing else to do and it being so damn cold, I am curious.”

“That is an interesting saying you have there.”

“Which one.”

“Mountain out of a hillock.”

“Yeah, so?”

“The saying we have is “mountain out of a molehill.”‘

“For heaven’s sake. What’s the difference?”

“Also you mention the cold.”

“Yes, I did. It is freezing up here.”

“What have you done with Captain Tom?”

“Here we go again.”

“It would not be cold unless the integrity of the capsule has been compromised.”

“If that were to happen you would see it on the telemetry.”

“Unless someone knows how to intercept the signal. Now before I hit the abort button tell me what you did with Captain Tom.”

“I ate him.”

“What?”

“He was just too tempting. Like a sardine in a can. In case you wonder, he was delicious. Go ahead and abort. I’ll just be waiting up here for the next one. TTFN.”

“TTFN? Your call sign?”

“No. Ta Ta For Now. Zoraggeue out.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Publication of an American Novel in 1789

January 21, 2019January 20, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. Today is the 230th anniversary of the publication of the first American novel. Its title was “Power of Sympathy,” and it was written by William Hill Brown. If you were there when this event happened, there are some things you should not have done. In case you have a time machine and plan to go here is a list of the Top Ten Things Not to Do to keep you out of trouble.

10 If you are there when published, do not complain about the nine shilling price. If you do, at best you’ll come off like a cheap skate. At worst, the publisher will take your name and vow never to publish anything you write. (I guess you can take this guy off your query list, Gael. Of course, you never got a response to the ten you did send already.)

9 If you are there when published, do not try to take more than one bookmark being handed out by Tiny the WWF champ. If you do, at best Tiny will merely take the extra back, At worst, Tiny, who has just been expelled from empathy school, will assume you are challenging his authority, (Looks like it is time to head for the door, Gino)

8 If you are there when published, do not wear your I love New York t-shirt. If you do, at best no one will notice. At worst, since the book was published in Boston, you might have to deal with rabid Bostonians who hate New York for whatever reason. (Don’t try to write it off as loyal Red Sox fans, Griffith. Baseball is still not played. The first game was in 1846 fifty-seven years from now.)

7 If you were there when published, do not write a review before you have read the book. If you do, at best no one will read it. At worst, the author will have his second call upon you. (The subject at hand is a duel, Gabian. I hope you know your way around flintlock dueling pistols.)

6 If you were there when published, do not ask when the Kindle edition will be available. If you do, at best you’ll get puzzled looks. At worst, once you explain the Kindle, you’ll be spending some quality time in the stocks. (They don’t exactly believe in witches, Gadhi, but you are as close to one as they can imagine. Look forward to some moments of panic in the dunking chair. I would just tell them you are a witch.)

5 If you are there when published, do not say to the author that you are thinking of writing a book as well. If you do, at best he’ll just laugh. At worst, you’ll experience the weightlessness that comes from falling through a trap door leading to the swamp. ( Now you know why the author stood in that one location with his arm resting on a lever, Gaelan. Authors hate it when folks think writing a book is so damn easy.)

4 If you are there when published, do not ask for an author autograph on anything but the book. If you do, at best he might sign your paper with the name of his carriage driver. At worst, the people behind you who are holding a book will shame you into a purchase. (By shame we are talking about that musket in your face, Gairbhith. These people really love the author)

3 If you are there when published, do not ask the author if he has been thinking of getting a real job. If you do, at best you will be shown the door. At worst, you will have asked the question that the author’s spouse asked over breakfast this morning. (This seems to be a sore spot with the author, Galeun. Time to think of a graceful way to get out fast.)

2 If you are there when published, do not ask the author when his next book is coming out. If you do, at best the author has another book coming out. At worst, the author has a bad case of writer’s block and is near insanity with worry. (Yes he is holding the cleaver that used to be on the sideboard, Galton. Yes, he has a fiery look in his eye. Yes, he is coming for you.)

1 If you are there when published, do not suggest a plot that you believe the writer will want to write. If you do, at best you will get a kind smile. At worst, the author, having heard ten other plot ideas already today, will walk away. (I wouldn’t call it rude, Galyn. I would call it your life-saving technique.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Bollard People

January 20, 2019January 19, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

Last year I featured the bollard in Port Aransas being covered by crochet wraps. There were about thirty the previous year and more than one hundred and thirty this year. The creator of this display is Diana Vondra and a host of helpers. They are being called the “Bollard People for reasons you will see in a moment. There are some photos, and I could not put them all in this post. Also, the sun was at an Eastern angle so for you to see the faces I had to manipulate the photos a little.

Here’s one that looks like a superhero.

This is a view of the way they look when you drive up.

Another shot of a group of them.

Wise one.

Pink.

Looks like an ode to Saturday morning.

Mama in her curlers.

Delighted.

Dignified.

Lost.

Happy.

An author I’ll wager.

Hates to wear glasses.

“May I take your order?”

“Put all the money in this bag.”

Frosty’s youngster.

The sister.

Do Bee.

Ladybug.

Grandma.

Of course, they are from Minnesota.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Television”

January 19, 2019January 18, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is ‘television.” Linda Hil says we can write about our favorite programs of about the apparatus itself. If you would like to join in on this mind-bender visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.