Top Ten Things Not to Do When William Tell Shot the Apple Off His Son’s Head in 1307

November 19, 2018November 18, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

This post continues the historical backdrop for the Top Ten Things Not to Do. Yesterday was the anniversary of William Tell purportedly shooting the apple off his son’s head in 1307. If you were there at the time, there are ten things that you should take care not to do.

10 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not sneeze at the critical point when he takes aim. If you do, at best William will bless you with a Gesundheit. At worst, your sneeze will throw him off, and you will be the next in line for the apple shot. (Lucky for you he missed his son’s head, Flavien. Now it is your turn, and William looks very angry.)

9 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ to stand in for you. If you do, at best Tiny will eat your apple. At worst, Tiny who just left his veterans of the apple shot near miss support group will be traumatized by the offer. (Tiny works out his trauma by doing body slams, Florian. I think you better start looking for a soft place to land.

8 At William Tell’s archery challenge do not start humming the William Tell Overture. If you do, at best someone will like the tune. At worst, you may be accused of being a warlock since Rossini did not write it until 1829. (A couple of dips in the dunking chair will help clear that music out of your head, Florian. Can’t imagine why you would give in to an earworm anyway.)

7 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not fail to bow in respect to the hat that the newly appointed Austrian Vogt, Albrecht Gessler, has placed on a pole. If you do, at best no one will see you not bow. At worst, you will be arrested for not doing the same thing William Tell did not do. ( I hope you know how to shoot a crossbow, Fonzo. It looks like you have to hit a crabapple off of Tiny’s head. If you miss Tiny is going to be very upset. Especially if you hit him.)

6 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not wear your Austrians Suck t-shirt. If you do, at best the Austrians will think you are joking. At worst, the Austrians will think you are a leader of the Swiss independence movement. (Now you’ve done it, Forseti. The next time you see daylight, it will be at your hanging. Enjoy the brief view.)

5 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not open a stand and begin selling swiss chocolate. If you do, at best the Austrians will like the chocolate. At worst, your chocolate will be declared contraband and you a revolutionary. ( I told you to stick with Speckknödel, Francesco. Now look at the fine kettle of fish you’ve gotten yourself into.)

4 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not ask William for his autograph. If you do, at best he will blow you off. At worst he might give you to the count of five to see if you can outrun a crossbow bolt. (Don’t forget, Frandscus, William just shot the apple off his son’s head. I don’t think he thinks of himself as a hero.)

3 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not offer William a contract to take his apple shooting show on the road. If you do, at best William will be in a good mood and ignore you. At worst, William will sign the agreement with the understanding that you will have the apple on your head. (Well a contract is a contract, Frannsaidh. Looks like you are signed up for a thirty city tour or one depending.)

2 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not start selling T-Shirts that say I’m the Apple of my Daddy’s Eye. If you do, at best William won’t see them. At worst, William’s sense of humor will have hit an all-time low and your T-shirts pushed him over the edge. (Looks like those shirts are going to make a nice bonfire, Franziskus.)

1 At William Tell’s archery challenge, do not start taking odds on whether William will hit the apple or his son. If you do, at best no one will tell him. At worst, William will find out what your activities and come looking for you. (I would stay under that table, Frazier. I don’t think you want to explain yourself right now.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Check In To Paradise Pond

November 18, 2018November 17, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

While community events are in a lull, I thought it might be a good idea to check in with The Paradise Pond to see how the Hurricane Harvey recovery efforts are progressing. It looks like the pond is making a nice recover except for the black willow trees.

Nice new sign

The vegetation has returned.

Bird sightings have returned. (Note the sighting of grilled chicken)

Funding for the recovery supplied by the Texas Ornithological Society.

This sign informs about the Saturday Bird Walk which happens each Saturday.

A statement of the recovery plan which concentrates on native plant replacement

Can see the black willows that have died as a result of the salt water.

You can see the lack of tree canopy over the pond. The replacement of the canopy is a priority.

Another shot of the absence of a canopy.

This grackle followed me around, so I decided to make him a portrait.

Hard to see but many new tree plantings.

Native plants returning.

Grasses

A lot of green

I could not help take this shot of Mrs. Woodys auto repair shop on the way back from Paradise Pond. Pink is the new olive drab

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Roll/Role

November 17, 2018November 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

It is Saturday Stream of Consciousness time again. This weeks prompt is “roll/role. Linda Hill says we can use one or both. I’ll go ahead and use both thank you. If you would like to join in, visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link

Roll/Role by John W. Howell © 2108

“Don’t bogart that joint, my friend. Pass it over to me.”

“Okay, what’s going on now.”

“I remember that song from the movie Easy Rider.”

“I’m surprised you can remember the movie let alone the song.”

“Roll another one. Just like the other one.”

“I get it you remember the song.”

“Yeah, and I loved that movie.”

“Why so?”

“Jack Nicholson had the best role.”

“What made it so good for you.”

“He was such a character. A drunk lawyer. Made me laugh.”

“You have a motorcycle?”

“No. Never did. I borrowed a friend’s once.”

“I think there is a story here.”

“Yeah. I did a neat roll in time to miss a truck that slammed on his brakes.”

“Lucky you weren’t killed.”

“Made me think twice about buying one for myself.”

“Sounds like you bought one for someone else.”

“Yeah, My friend. I totaled his.”

“Ouch.”

“Wanna see my roll scars?”

“No that is a voyeur role I want to avoid.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

November 16, 2018November 15, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

It is Friday and time to start preparing for the weekend. This is the last Friday before Thanksgiving. It is hard to believe the holidays are on us already. I’m not sure if we are ready or not. I guess there really is no choice since the day comes around and ready or not it will be Thanksgiving.

We have had another pretty challenging week with Bailey. She has had some difficulty with nausea. We have some new medicine, and so far it looks like it is working. Bailey, bless her heart, does not like to take medication. We have to grind pills and then get some media that she will accept. She used to take her medicine in baby food. Now she is on to us. The only way she will take it is in a suspension that I give her by syringe. No needle, just the syringe into the mouth behind the molars. Even as I write she has decided to keep a clamped jar. Well probably TMI, but all in all, Bailey is hold ing her own.

Thanks to everyone who has offered such kind words of support. Those words do help.

Today’s JohnKu talks about what words can do. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Words can encourage,

When all seems dark and hopeless . . .

Kind thoughts work wonders.

Thursday – A little Personal – Sunny Day in the Yard

November 15, 2018November 14, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

“So, Dad. Where are Lucy and Bailey?”

“They are coming, Twiggy.”

“Gee whiz, Lucy. You guys think I have all day.”

“Bailey is still finishing her lunch. What do you ve in mind?”

“I thought we could play some ball.”

“Yeah, That sounds good. This sun feels good.”

“You are wandering around. What’s the deal?

“I’m doing my stretches. I don’t want to pull a muscle chasing you.”

“That is a great idea. I guess I should do the same.”

“There you go Little Stuff. It’s good for the legs.”

“Wait, Lucy. You are going too fast.”

“A couple of times around the yard is good for the wind.”

“I have to stop, Lucy. My little legs have to work twice as fast as yours.”

“Good thing I have super brakes, Small Stuff. I could have run right over you.”

“I want to kiss you for helping me exercise.”

“Not on the lips, Little Potato. Not on the lips.”

“Hey, there’s Bailey. Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah me too. Pops was trying to give me a pill, but I out foxed him.”

“Bailey, did you toss that pill over here?”

“Don’t let Pops see it. He’ll do the gavage thing on me.”

“Lucy, Forget the pill. Where is Twiggy going with that jolly ball?”

“Beats me. Hey, Twiggy don’t you want to play with us?

“You better go after her. I think she wants to play keep-a-way.”

“This could be fun for sure.”

“Hey, Bailey. You going to play?”

“If you two come back here, yes. You know I’m not as strong, and we have to keep that in mind.”

“What do you think, Little stuff?”

“Yeah, let’s go where Bailey is. It will be more fun with all of us playing.”

“Good choice.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

November 14, 2018November 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were a witness to Louis and Larry discussing who had the knowledge to operate the equipment that killed Sandusky. The conversation ended with a declaration by Louis that there were only two people who knew how the machine worked. One was Louis and the other Sandusky. Let’s get back to the police station since Larry is having a discussion with Andrew. Maybe Andrew has another perspective.

“So, you say the only two that know how to work that wave machine are Louis and Sandusky himself?”

“According to Louis, those are the only ones he knows about.”

“Okay so let’s take a look at the facts.”

“What facts?”

“Aren’t you the one who keeps saying to look for motive?”

“My wife told me that.”

“Yeah, let’s not get into that too much. I’ll keep believing that you keep saying it.”

“Okay then. What about the motive?”

“Take Sandusky for instance.”

“What about Sandusky?”

“What motive would he have for killing himself?”

“I think you have me. I can’t think of one.”

“Right you are too. So, we can rule him out.”

“Agreed.”

“This leaves Louis.”

“You know, as hard as I want to believe Louis killed Sandusky, I just can’t get there.”

“What would be his motive?”

“Would be like killing his banker. Doesn’t make sense.”

“So, we agree that Louis is not the one either.”

“I think that is the only logical conclusion. Where does that leave us?”

“With a lot of hard work to turn up another suspect.”

“One who knows how to operate the machine and who has the motive to eliminate Sandusky.”

“Think your wife can help?”

“Wow, Andrew you sure took a one-eighty.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures. We are clearly out of options.”

“I guess I could go back to a fortune-teller who put me in touch with Ruth and see if she can help.”

“I don’t think we have any other options.”

“Man, Andrew you amaze me.”

“Just call me Renaissance man.”

“That fits. Let’s go.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt

November 13, 2018November 12, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy — “What is that, Bailey?”
“Could be a bird, a plane. No, it’s a ceiling fan Little Stuff”

As you may know, Keith Channing has taken the month of November to craft another Na-No-Wri-Mo 50,000 word novel. So again today I am promptless. GP Cox came up with a solution. He more or less said, “Why don’t you point a finger at a spot in a book and use that as a prompt.” He recalled a prompt on a Steam of Conscious Saturday where Linda Hill proscribed just that prompt method.

So thank you, GP Cox. Here it goes. I’m opening L is for Lawless by Sue Grafton and putting my finger on a page. It is page 143 and my finger sits on the phrase, I picked up the five and held it closer. This is the prompt today.

“Why are you sitting all alone?”

“Why not? I don’t know anyone here.”

“The idea was for you to go out and make friends.”

“So why are you here?”

“I wanted to make sure you would be okay.”

“I’m okay. I just don’t have anything to talk about with these people.”

“I don’t get that. You are surrounded by a number of folks that are just like you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know. Love comic books and Sci-Fi.”

“I guess that’s what a Comic-Con is all about. I still feel shy.”

“Talk to me. You are sitting here with a cosplay look of The Fly. Hasn’t anyone come up to you to comment on your fabulous costume?”

“Well, yeah they did?”

“They did? What did they say?”

“They thought I looked pretty natural.”

“So what happened? Did you talk to them?”

“A little. Then they got annoying?”

“Annoying? What did they do?”

“Made comments about my proboscis. One said it looked yucky.”

“How many were there?”

“Five in all.”

“So the others were cool, right?”

“Yeah, they were good.”

“So where are they?”

“Well. I picked up the five and held them close.”

“Then?”

“I ate them.”

“Oh no. You said the other four were good.”

“I guess I should have said delicious, but I didn’t want to shock you too quickly.”

“I guess I appreciate that. I think we had better go.”

“Yeah, I need to check my web. Might have caught something.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Sunday Football Game at Philadelphia in 1933

November 12, 2018November 11, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

This is a continuation of the Top Ten Things Not to Do list with a historical background. Today marked the anniversary of the first Sunday football game played in Philadelphia in 1933. If you were there, some actions are a no-no.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Sunday Football Game at Philadelphia in 1933

10 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not sit next to your parish priest unless you have been to church. If you do, at best you can take confession right there. At worst, you will be invited to a special service titled Miscreants of the Week. ( Of all the seats in the stadium you had to pick this one, Farzad.)

9 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not forget to tip Tiny, the WWF Champ and now stadium vendor, for your hot dog. If you do, at best that mustard stain on your back will come out. At worst, Tiny who believes tips are a showing of love will think you hate him. (The time to vacate your seat is now, Fedele. That large tray of hot dogs will not rest well when Tiny lets it go in your direction.)

8 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not try to eat a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich and cheer for your team at the same time. If you do, At best the guy in front of you is wearing a raincoat. At worst, your expelled cheesesteak bite goes down the collar of the police chief in the row in front of you. (I don’t think you will be able to explain this as an accident, Felicien. Good luck on your first night in jail)

7 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not cause yourself to be over-celebrating on your carry in hootch just because the blue laws in Pennsylvania allowed Sunday sports. If you do, at best you’ll find someone to take you home. At worst, you will need an ironclad excuse for spending the night in the bleachers. (Gotta wonder why none of the cleaning crew found you huh, Fenris.)

6 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not sit in the Chicago section wearing your Eagles jersey. If you do, at best the fans around you think you have a mental condition. At worst, as the game progresses someone may get the idea to remove you crowd surfing you over the lip of the Baker Bowl stadium. (It is a long fall from the top to the parking lot, Ferke. Flapping your arms may help a little.)

5 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not think you don’t have to pay off your bet because the score was tied at 3 and 3. f you do, at best the bookie consider your bet too small to collect. At worst, your bookie is the kind who believes any no pay a matter of honor. ( Those cement overshoes are styling, Fidal. Might prove to hamper treading water though.)

4 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not blow your large and loud horn to cheer on your team. If you do, at best you’ll be sitting alone. At worst, your fellow participants will tire of losing their hats, hair, and hearing and will stuff your horn where the sun don’t shine. (I know I’m surprised as well, Finnbar. I think that high decibel honk is terrific. Might be better on a MAC truck though.)

3 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not ask your neighbor to share their popcorn. If you do, at best the corn will be gone. At worst, your neighbor has just been diagnosed with the flu and is more than happy to share. (Don’t worry, Fionn. In the 30’s the flu only took maybe half of those diagnosed. Oh, look a guy in a black hoodie carrying a scythe. I don’t see any hay that needs cutting do you?)

2 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not run out and attempt to ring the Liberty Bell to count the first field goal points. If you do, at best the Liberty Bell Center in Independence National Historic Park will be closed on Sunday. At worst, your attempt at goodwill has been seen as a terrorist act. ( Well, you’ve earned yourself a nice cozy room in Guantanamo, Firmann. I have no idea why it is so dark here.)

1 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not dispute how the Eagles got their name. If you do, at best there was no money on the fact that they got their name from the Blue Eagle which was a symbol for economic recovery during the Franklin Roosevelt administration. At worst, you now need to walk home since you put your car up to back your bet that the Eagles were named after the great American Bald Eagle. (You could have been right too, Flanagan. You might try putting your thumb out. Maybe some hapless fool will give you a lift.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Pools . . .Yes Pools

November 11, 2018November 10, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

First, a note of appreciation to our veterans. Thank you so much for your service and sacrifice

I have to admit there was nothing going on in Port Aransas this week. I have wanted to do a pool feature for a while. Could I do it in the summer when the water is blue, the temperatures in the 90s, and there are tons of happy people around the pool? No, of course not. Needed to wait for a rainy, cloudy, and in the 50’s. Put on your overcoat and come with me.

Here is the entrance to the pool at Cinnamon Shores the biggest community in the area.

This is an infinity pool. There is a pond in the background.

Mustang Royale is a community next to where I live.

The pool is a little smaller than the last.

Another community in Port Aransas.

The entrance to their pool.

The pool.

Pioneer Park is the largest RV resort in Port Aransas.

The pool entrance.

The pool has a lot of decking tiles.

Sunflower resort.

Sunflower Resort pool.

The Palmilla Beach Resort.

This is one of the prettiest in the area.

The Port Aransas Community Pool

The community pool. There is actually someone in the 83-degree water.

This is our community.

Our community pool.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Mean(s)

November 10, 2018November 9, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “mean (s). Linda Hill says we can use the prompt with or without the (s). Maybe I’ll use them both. If you would like to participate in this fun go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.