Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Mean(s)

 

Stream of Consciousness

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “mean (s). Linda Hill says we can use the prompt with or without the (s). Maybe I’ll use them both. If you would like to participate in this fun go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Nov. 10/18

Mean(s) by John W. Howell © 2018

“What does that mean?”

“I think it is pretty clear.”

“If it were clear I wouldn’t ask.”

“You ask a lot of questions so how am I supposed to know if something is clear to you or not?”

“It’s not clear to me.”

“Okay. The sign means to keep off the grass.”

“Why does it say, ‘Touch Not?'”

“I figure that would cover everything. Feet, hands, body. You name it, ‘Touch Not’ means no part of anyone should be on my grass.”

“You are a mean mother. You know that?

“Why would you say I’m mean?”

“Who cares if someone steps on your precious grass. It is meant to be walked on.”

“Oh no, it is not meant to be walked on. Grass means green visual. Nothing else.”

“Green visual. Did you just make that up?”

“Maybe. I think that is what grass means to me.”

“What about picnics, flying kites, lawn bowling, and crochet?”

“On someone else’s grass.”

“I can tell you this attitude means a potential for a lonely old age.”

“If those who want to visit me mean to walk on my grass, I would be happy being lonely.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean that. My ‘Touch Not’ sign goes up tomorrow.”

“Why not today?”

“It would mean postponing my lawn party.”

“You are a disturbed person. You know that right?

“Talk about mean?”

 

44 comments

  1. Haha, fantastic John. It reminds me of Miss Trunchbull from Matilda by Roald Dahl.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Robbie.

      Like

  2. harmonykent · · Reply

    Love this, John! Have a great weekend 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You as well, Harmony.

      Like

  3. Gwen Plano · · Reply

    Excellent, John, one of your best and, I mean that! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Thank you , Gwen

      Like

  4. You know what’s clear to me, John?
    You’re a brilliant bugger, man.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a nice thing to say, Hook. Thank you.
      😀

      Like

  5. Enjoy today, for tomorrow you’re banished to the sidewalk. Nice job with the promt, John and nice twist at the end. I know you don’t mean this because Twiggy seems to like laying in the grass.

    Have a great weekend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. This was a riff on a childhood neighbor. She would call our parents if we stepped on her lawn. Mrs. Burkhard. Very mean.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ours was Mrs Quinn – evil woman.

        Like

      2. Ours was Mrs. Stokes. And she’d keep any ball that made it’s way to her yard by accident too.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yeah. We all had one. Lots of eggs on her new aluminium porch awning though. (I hope)

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Definitely sounds like suburbia. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha haha. It does. Thanks, Charles.

      Like

  7. Great job with this one, John! Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you. *sung to the tune of Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

      Liked by 1 person

  8. She means it…she means it not. 🙂 Great one, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Welp, you know what they say. It’s all in the timing!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So…how do your pups figure into the grass thing? I mean they touch it all the time and leave little brown piles for you to pick out of the grass. They must have an exemption of some sort, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They own our home. We are the ones with exemptions. Thanks, Mary.

      Like

      1. Interesting. I thought it was only cuts who claimed ownership. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nope. In numbers these guys get to set a strategy.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Haha! You know, the “Touch not” sign is bound to be followed up by a “Pee not” sign.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I liked the PooP Not one as well Thanks, Linda.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I agree with Hook, John. Fun post. I hope it’s a satisfying Saturday. Great big hug!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Teagan. Big Hug to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. D.L Finn, Author · · Reply

    I’ve met people like this…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  14. She means it, means it not – she should be part of the Ways and Means Committee!!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Trying to come up with something where “mean” is used for average. I got nothing, because none of your posts are average.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw. What a nice thing to say. You could go with the calculated mean where there are 50% above and 50% below the mean.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Haha! Lawn party first. Well done, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Traci.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John!

        Liked by 1 person

  17. This is great, John, and I didn’t expect that ending. Thanks for the smiles!

    Like

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