In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
This post was run on December 8th, 2014. We were living on the coast then, and now that we are in a more citified environment, we don’t see many Winter Texans. However, I’m sure this list would still be handy to those living by the Gulf.
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This week’s top ten list is inspired by the fact that we on the South Texas coast are in the process of the annual migration of the northerners, which we call Winter Texans. We like to be friendly to those who choose to winter over here, but it is sometimes tricky. Not all the temporary Texans are the kind of people you want in the community, but since it is almost impossible to weed out the less desirable, we have to take the bad with the good. Interestingly, most of these people are retired, and one would think they learned something in their sixty-five-plus years on this Earth. Since you are not a Winter Texan, I hope you enjoy the list. If you are, then see if it applies to you.
Top Ten Things Not to Do as a Winter Texan
10 If you are a Winter Texan, do not drive your fifth wheel and trailer at forty miles per hour in a sixty-mile speed zone on the main two-lane road. If you do, at best, you may have to put up with the glares and tailgating of those trying to get around you. At worst, you could cause some hothead to take unnecessary risks trying to pass with possible tragic results.
9 If you are a winter Texan, do not fail to respond to a local greeting of “Good Morning.” If you do, at best, the locals will take note of your state and never visit there. At worst, you will convince all locals who come into contact with you that Winter Texans should be avoided and unfriendly. (We Texans put a lot of stock in returned kindness and Good morning is the least of kindnesses)
8 If you are a Winter Texan on a fixed income, do not help yourself to the salt & pepper shakers and sugar packets when you visit a restaurant. If you do, at best, the next person will have to do without. At worst, you will convince the local restaurateur to keep all condiments behind the counter for on-demand use creating an environment of inconvenience for others.
7 If you are a Winter Texan, and want to fish, do not fail to get a license. If you do, at best, you will not contribute to the preservation of coastal fishing that fees provide. At worst, you could find yourself handcuffed over the hood of a Wildlife Ranger’s truck which will be the beginning of a very annoying process that could mean spending some portion of your golden years in jail.
6 If you are a winter Texan, do not go over the catch limits. If you do, at best, you will contribute to declining numbers of certain species. At worst, you could end up like number seven.
5 If you are a Winter Texan, do not allow your dogs or yourself to use the beach as a private outhouse. If you do, at best, you will be contributing to polluting the environment. At worst, you will be breaking the law and could find yourself fined for littering or arrested for indecent exposure. You would have to admit the sight of an unclothed senior citizen would indeed be indecent.
4 If you are a Winter Texan shopping at the local stores, do not slip items into your farm overalls and then forget about them. If you do, at best, you will contribute to higher retail prices to cover shrinkage. At worst, your pants may let go just as you pass the town constable, and the unavoidable noise of products hitting the floor may be too much to ignore, not to mention the view of those “greatest grandparent” boxers.
3 If you are a Winter Texan, do not try to build the biggest bonfire on the beach. If you do, at best, you will need to stay up all night to watch it. At worst, you neglect to stay up all night to watch it, sparks from your conflagration jump to the dunes, and you are responsible for wiping out the west side of town.
2 If you are a Winter Texan, do not drive your dual-wheel pickup near the waterline. If you do, at best, you will contribute to the demise of delicate creatures who come in contact with your heavy tires. At worst, you may start an ecosystem chain reaction that could cause the abandonment of the area by those animals and birds that relied on the delicate creatures as a food source.
1 If you are a Winter Texan, do not leave anything behind. If you do, at best, the locals will spend additional tax money cleaning your mess. At worst, your trash, old fishing line, beer cans, cigarette butts, and six-pack carriers could end the life of a precious being that might be the final straw in the ecological balance. Then folks will really be pissed, and you don’t want that.
Well, here we are on the last Sunday before Christmas. This means we need to tour the neighborhood to view the holiday decorations. The Producer and I previewed the decorations and selected the final choices. There were nine categories of the display. The tenth is one for you to describe and is at the end of the post. We are doing some hot chocolate on the bus because, believe it or not, it is cold outside. We found some suggested combos for the chocolate, so all the makings are available for you to make your own. Our entertainment is She and Him. (Don’t miss this one)
Menu suggestions.
So get on, and let’s go.
The first category is Best Mailbox Display – Perfect Texas tie-in.
The Second category is the Best Use of a Vehicle.
Next is Best Traditional Display
The Fourth is Best Candy Cane Display. This is the Lakeway police station.
The Fifth is Best Runway Light Display
The Sixth is the Most Overdone Inflatable Display. Can you count them?
The Seventh is The Best Crossover Holiday Display.
The Eighth is The Best Cultural Display.
The Ninth is the Best Completely Over the Top Display.
And finally, here is the one that you choose the category. Just let us know in the comments.
So that is our tour. Time to relax and enjoy the music and hot chocolate. Wishing you a terrific week
Anyway. It seems like a long wait for the machine to build that delicious, frothy, steaming cup of soothing syrup. Other activities can occur while hoping for a total lack of technical hick-up that delays delivery. Shopping online can go uninterrupted while the snorts and creaks of the machine verify continued operation. Finally, the aroma of the liquid fills the air as the cursed AI master delivers the goods.
Grabbing the cup and the first sip reminds me of the continued worry in the backyard. Pepe has been working for a week on setting up the ballista to launch the rocket out of the yard. Then, last week, the comments section produced Resa’s suggestion that the Trebuchet could launch the skunk after the missile is gone.
Such a possibility will bring welcome relief to my sanity and olfactories. The only flea in the ointment is devising a plan to get Pepe to sit in the Trebuchet for a moment before release. Also, a consideration must be made for Pepe’s safety since he will fall at a velocity that could produce injuries. A parachute of some kind would do the trick. So, the next problem will be getting Pepe to put on the chute before sitting on the Trebuchet.
As the furrows in my brow threaten my vision, the warm scent of Pepe fills the living room air. “Pardon, Monsieur, but the ballista is loaded and ready for take-off.” Trying to keep as much distance from Pepe as possible, I nod. He places an envelope on an end table and raises his eyebrows. “Let me read this. and then we will go out to inspect the ballista. Holding my breath and moving slowly, the envelope is scooped off the table. Once opened, it reveals a message from Linda Hill. It reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “start your post or one paragraph with the word ‘anyway.'” Bonus points if you start your post with “anyway” and regular points if you use it in a paragraph somewhere else in your post. Enjoy!
End-of-year bonuses are always a welcomed sight, but these smiles bear witness to an extraordinary act of corporate generosity.
Ruppert Landscaping gave bonuses of between $7,000 to $200,000 to all employees with a tenure of over one year “as a thanks for the role they’ve played in the company’s growth and development.”
A total of 1,200 workers, excluding those in top leadership positions, received the enormous thank you presents which added up to be $28 million.
The company says normal end-of-year bonuses were not deducted or altered by the gifts, which were announced at staff meetings, nor were any of the other benefits, which include 401(K) matching, health insurance, paid time off, and holidays.
“Everyone receiving this bonus was instrumental in helping create the value that we’ve been able to realize,” said CEO Craig Ruppert. “This bonus is money that is well-deserved and a way for us to acknowledge the value of our teams’ contributions and the essential role that they will play in our company’s future.”
The company’s history dates to the 1970s when Craig Ruppert, then a teenager, began cutting his neighbors’ yards to earn money. From those early and humble beginnings, the company has grown dramatically and now includes a talented management team with projects that have grown in scale and complexity.
Residential lawns turned into developments, parks, and corporate campuses, while the focus on hustle and efficiency expanded to include horticultural knowledge and technical specialization. Today, the company serves commercial clients in over nine states from 30 locations and continues its tradition of charitable giving at the local level.
The good news here is a company recognizes the contributions of its employees. Today’s JohnKu talks about recognition. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
I’m pleased to say The Last Drive is now available on Amazon in paper and Kindle formats. I have a full tour beginning on January 4th, but to prepare, it was necessary to secure the links by publishing. I didn’t want to do a pre-order, so I went live. Also, this means that the tour hosts will be getting the material within a week.
I am thrilled that twenty-two bloggers will be participating and consider them a grateful abundance of attention for this book. I will be using my blog space to announce the locations. Normal posts will be on hold until after the tour, so your inbox won’t suffer. I hope you will support the tour with visits since each post will be unique and carry a different excerpt.
Blurb
In the sequel to Eternal Road – The final stop, Sam and James are reunited to look for two souls, Ryan and Eddie. Ryan was killed in Afghanistan, trying to avoid a schoolyard with his crippled plane. Eddie Rickenbacker, Ryan’s hero, is to guide Ryan to his Eternal Home, and now both are missing.
The higher-ups believe that there has been some interference in Ryan and Eddie’s journey by Lucifer, so Sam and James have the task of finding Ryan and Eddie to get them back on the road despite the evil interference. Unfortunately, the machinations designed to prevent Ryan and Eddy from completing their journey takes the pair to horrifying testing grounds. The places visited represent the best work of the Devil. They are the trenches of World War I in France, gladiators at the Roman Coliseum, the sinking Titanic in 1912, Hiroshima 45 minutes before the bomb, and the Auschwitz concentration camp in 1943.
This book is for you if you like plenty of action, strong characters, time travel, and a touch of spiritual and historical fiction. So, join Sam and James as they try to find the missing souls while staying one step ahead of the Prince of Darkness, who is determined to destroy all that is good.
In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really, even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
This post originally ran on August 8th, 2014. I still like the advice and hope you enjoy it.
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Here is the 59th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. The inspiration for this came from standing in several lines Hope you like it.
Top Ten Things Not to do if You Find Yourself Waiting Your Turn
10 If you are in line at a ferry, do not turn off your car. If you do, at best, the minute you do, the line will start moving. At worst, your car won’t start, and the friendly folks behind you will figure out a way to heave your vehicle over the side of the access terminal into thirty feet of water.
9. If you are in line at the pharmacy, do not try to eavesdrop on the confidential medical briefing of the person in front of you. If you do, at best, you may hear something that your ears won’t forgive or forget. At worst, the store will hit you with a HIPPA violation and send you to the back of the line again.
8. If you are in line at the ten items or less express checkout at the supermarket, do not comment on the twenty items the person ahead of you has just laid on the counter. If you do, at best, you will hear the old excuse, “Oh, I didn’t notice that this was ten items or less.” At worst, you will be savagely attacked by a seemingly quiet, unassuming person who (unknown to you ) was just released from a psychiatric hospital due to the lack of funding.
7. If you are in line at a movie theatre, do not groan loudly when the person in front of you wants to know the movie’s rating. If you do, At best, you will need to suffer through other questions like, “How long does it run?” At worst, you will be faced with the spouse of the person in front of you wondering what your problem is and asking you kindly to cut them some slack while showing you a close-up of a fist.
6. If you are in line at a convenience store, do not make any comments about a person in front of you who wants to pick out the specific scratch–off ticket but can’t make up their mind. If you do, at best, you make have to explain your problem when asked. At worst, you will need to apologize for your impatience when you learn that the ticket is being purchased as a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary present.
5. If you are in line at the bank, do not prompt the half-asleep person standing in front of you behind the wait here line that a teller is open. If you do, at best, the person may pop awake and think you are being fresh. At worst, the person will take offense since they were not paying attention and ask you something about “Where’s the fire?”
4. If you are in line at the doctor’s office, do not complain to the receptionist about how valuable you consider your time. If you do, At best, you will be waiting twice as long since the receptionist just had an argument with the doctor about how little she makes. At worst, the receptionist will somehow lose your place, and you will still be there when the doctor and the receptionist leave for the night, asking you to come back tomorrow.
3. If you are waiting to be served at one of the hottest bars in town, do not wave at the bartender. If you do, at best, he will simply wave back and wait on others. At worst, the bartender will finally give you the old what’ll you have and then tell you they don’t have it, and maybe they will across the street.
2. If you are waiting to be seated in a trendy restaurant, do not think you will be seated without tipping the Matre D. If you do, At best, you will finally have to break down and either tip or go elsewhere. At worst, you will get a seat in the bar just as they are starting the fastest cigar smoker contest and there are twenty-four contestants all lighting up at the same time.
1. If you find yourself waiting in line at Starbucks, do not try to cut the line. If you do, at best, you will be chastised by the teenage barista. At worst, your double decaf, soy, low foam latte will have a taste resembling the faint essence of dirty socks, and you should not ask why.
