Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

September 10, 2021September 9, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

“Okay, Lucy. Now explain this again.”
“It’s the sun coming through the living room windows to the porch.”
“You know how crazy that sounds, right?”
“I guess, but it’s true.”

It is Friday again. Yahoo. We can all use a Friday. This was a short week given the holiday on Monday. So, here we are, ready for a weekend.

I’m so glad football season is finally here. Since I have a tough time getting the Steeler broadcasts here in Texas, I have to be satisfied with the college team broadcasts that come our way. So I hunt down Notre Dame, West Virginia University, Michigan State, and Baylor. Those are the places where we went or sent money. I guess I’m pretty lucky to have such a choice.

COVID cases are at the highest level since March. I’m wearing my mask and will be getting a booster as soon as I figure out where to go and when. The information on boosters is very sporadic. The White House set up some additional vaccination mandates covering areas that the Fed can control. In addition, businesses with 100 or more employees need to have all employees vaccinated or tested. OSHA will do the policing for the mandate. States are likely going to challenge the mandate as it relates to business requirements.

Here is a list and link to all the California wildfires. We have to keep praying for some relief. The good news is the Dixie, and Caldor fires are over 50 % contained but more needs to be done. Sadly a firefighter from the Dixie fire succumbed to illness. (no other details)

The Taliban released a flight with about 30 Americans and 170 others on Thursday. This was the first release of stranded citizens and friends since August 31st. Let’s hope it is the beginning of 100% success for those who want to leave. Let’s also hope that this release came without paying a ransom. (no one is talking about that right now)

Today’s JohnKu talks about keeping positive. I hope you all have a great weekend.

Who controls your mood?

Directing positive or not . . .

Look in a mirror.

Thursday – A Little Personal – The Water Buffalo and The Puma

September 9, 2021September 8, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 92 Comments

“Hey, Lucy. How about a game of tug-o-war?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I was thinking of something rougher.”

“Like the puma takes the water buffalo by surprise?”

“Yeah, and the water buffalo prepares a defense.”

“There is no defense as the puma goes for the soft underbelly.”

“Which the water buffalo protects with sharp hooves.”

“The puma withdraws momentarily for another attack.”

“The water buffalo pummels the puma senseless.”

“The puna stikes again and this times hits paydirt.”

“The water buffalo gives the puma a whack with a powerful leg.”

“The puma is impervious to the pain.”

“The water buffalo uses her secret body hold.”

“Which the puma breaks in a second.”

“The water buffalo prepares for the final blow.”

“The puma rises up for the last attack.”

“The water buffalo is ready and deploys her jet black horns.”

“That was a good fantasy. Sure you don’t want to play tug-o-war?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

“If you want to play water buffalo and puma later, I’m willing.”

“I’ll be honest. Those fantasy’s wear me out.”

“I know what you mean. I think I’ll just chill with this tuggy.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 328 by Keith Channing

September 7, 2021September 6, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo

“Are you sure we want to do this?”

“You heard the man back there. We need to pass the test of courage.”

“Yeah, but it seems like a risk.”

“Do you really think they would do something to harms us? This is a fake.”

“A fake? It sure looks real to me. What’s that guy doing over there.”

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask. You are closer.”

“Yeah, by two feet. Not sure I want to know.”

“Oh, very well. Sir. Yes, you, sir. What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to reach my wife.”

“Your wife?”

“Yes, she took the same steps you are about to take and disappeared.”

“Oh my goodness. Blanch, don’t put your foot down. In fact, don’t move a muscle.”

“Okay. I’m not moving.”

“Did you hear that, man? His wife disappeared doing this stupid test.”

“I heard, and I, for one, am not going to do it. What’s the matter with those people back there anyway?”

“I’m sure I don’t know. You’d think you could trust a greeter, right?”

“I thought something was off the way he cackled after he told us we couldn’t come into the store without passing the courage test.”

“I think it would have been wiser for us just to wear a mask, don’t you?”

“The sign said it is voluntary.”

“Obviously, the greeter doesn’t think so.”

“Let’s go to Target.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on Labor Day

September 6, 2021September 5, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

This post ran on Labor Day 2015. I thought it was pretty good advice, so here it is again.

***

In honor of Labor Day, I’ve decided to boil the top ten list down to the most important items. Let’s all remember those who make our lives easier and more pleasant. Of course, the remembrance includes we authors.

Top Ten Things Not to do on Labor Day

10 through 1

On Labor Day, have fun but do not drink and drive. If you do, at best, you are a fool. At worst, you could hurt or kill an innocent person, not to mention your guilty self.

Happy Labor Day, all.

Views of the Neighborhood – End of Summer Potpourri and #Tinypies

September 5, 2021September 5, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 83 Comments

Hello again. Today we are going to wrap up the summer with a tour around the neighborhood. You can expect anything since this will be a random mix of some scenes from the last week.

Our catered brunch is from Tiny Boxwoods in Austin. Our entertainment is the Boss Bruce Springsteen.

Fruit & Yogurt Parfait

yogurt, house granola, berries, banana, honey
Santa Barbara Bowl

blended acai, strawberries, and banana, topped with house granola, goji berries, fresh fruit & honey
Blueberry Pancakes

blueberry compote, whipped honey butter, warm maple syrup, bacon, or sausage
Avocado Toast

smoked salmon, fried egg, sun-dried tomatoes, lime, salt, red pepper, honey, sourdough
Mother’s Breakfast

mother’s sausage or bacon, scrambled eggs, white cheddar grits, warm biscuit, strawberry jam, whipped honey butter
Southside

scrambled eggs, cheddar, avocado mash, tomatillo salsa, warm tortillas
Migas

scrambled eggs, cheddar, pork carnitas, onions, peppers, tomatillo salsa, warm tortillas
Chilaquiles

tortillas, pork carnitas, black beans, feta, tomatillo salsa, cilantro avocado crema, ranchero sauce
Our white wine today -Domaine de la Meulière Chablis 2018 – Burgundy, France
Our red wine today – Château Patrabet Saint-Emilion Grand Cru 2016 – Bordeaux, France
Top-shelf cocktails, soft drinks, endless coffee and tea

The bus is ready.

Our first stop begins a study in trash oddities. A comfy chair is no longer required.

An office chair on the way out.

Looks like work at home took its toll on this one.

Forget the shade.

Now a nice deer family. Mom, dad, and the kids.

“I love my geodome.”

“Mom. Quit scratching and look at that man over there.”

Getting ready for Halloween. Tree of ghouls and giant skeleton.

Whoops, like magic. A one-eyed minion and caldron have been added. We need to come back as the collection grows.

A big ole chunk of celestine on a mailbox.

For those of you who don’t live in the Austin area, the idea of a Tiny Pies moving into your neighborhood means little. But, for us, it is like the 21st century has finally reached our door.

These are, for the most part, one serving pies in savory and sweet selections. (We like to split ours) They do have select family sizes as well. (our favorite is King Ranch Casserole pie)

They are made fresh every day.

They have a take and bake option too. This is the way we used to do it when we had to drive 40 minutes each way. Now they are five minutes away, so maybe we’ll let them bake ours.

I hope you enjoyed the tour, and thank you for your patience while I raved about Tiny Pies. Sit back. Have some food and listen to the Boss.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Pin

September 4, 2021September 3, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

I opened a nice cold bottle of VooDoo Ranger and poured it into my chilled glass. I whistled for Twiggy and Lucy to follow me to the back patio. We all got comfy on the chaise and kicked back to enjoy the sun and the conversation of the birds. I took a sip of my brew, and something caught my eye in the deep robin’s egg blue sky. A Cessna 172 just came into sight after passing the tree line. I thought the plane was pretty low but didn’t believe there was any cause for concern since the Lakeway airport was less than a mile away.

My mind told me the plane was on a downwind leg of an approach even though he should have been about 500 feet higher. Feeling the draw of the cold, bubbly, hoppy beverage, I brought my glass to my lips while keeping an eye on the plane. To my surprise, just as the craft got overhead, the pilot’s door opened slightly, and a bright red object was jettisoned. Like many Warner Brothers cartoons, the object got bigger and bigger as its trajectory brought it closer and closer to the Earth. It became apparent the red sphere was going to impact the three of us on the chaise. I shouted to the pups to head for cover, and like all good dogs, they obeyed without question.

It was too late for me, and the sphere enveloped the upper half of my body. All I could see was red and felt the wetness that could only have been my life’s fluid splattered the length and breadth of the patio. Trying to breathe was difficult until I pulled the membrane away from my mouth. It was then I discovered I had been hit with a large water balloon. Stuck to my forehead was a soggy piece of paper with the following message. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “pin.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

If you would like to have, fun visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2021/09/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-4-2021/

Yes, Twiggy and Lucy were fine. Yes, my VooDoo Ranger needed to be replaced. Yes, there was the name ACME Balloon Works on the remnants of the balloon. No, I didn’t get the tail number of the plane.

“So again, you take up half the morning with your prologue.”

“Is that what it was?”

“Well, anyway, what are you going to do with ‘pin?'”

“I thought I would talk about college romance.”

“Huh?”

“You know where boy meets girl and gives her his fraternity pin as a show of his commitment.”

“You sure they still do that?”

“No, but it was an idea. Could be a terrific story.”

“Or maybe like a pin in the eye.”

“Come on. I thought it was unique.”

“If you can pin a date, maybe this could be a nostalgia piece.”

“Didn’t you mean pinpoint a date.”

“Yeah, sure, but that wouldn’t let me use the word ‘pin.'”

“I see. You don’t want me to pin the title of spoilsport on you.”

“Yes indeed. We are really in the swing now, but don’t pin your hopes on scoring bonus points.”

“I didn’t hear anything about bonus points.”

“Yeah, forget it.”

“How about we go to the bowling alley?”

“We don’t bowl.”

“They have beer, and hundreds of things that start with a ‘p.'”

“People?”

“I wonder if the plural of pin counts?”

“Oh, I get it. Each alley has a pin times ten.”

“You are a genius.”

“Which means you are buying.”

“Gladly. I have saved my pin money.”

“We can stop now.”

“The ball is headed for the pin. This could be a hole in one.”

“We can do without the golf tournament impersonation. Whispering Joe Wilson, right?”

“That was bowling. I was thinking of Chris Schkenel.”

“Pin the tail on the donkey.”

“You said it. Not me. Let’s go before they pin us as idiots.”

“Too late.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF

September 3, 2021September 2, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

“We doing sun bath today, Little One?”
“Yeah until Dad starts using the ladder.”
“He doesn’t make much noise.”
“He does when he falls off.”
“Good point.”

Another Friday has graced us with its presence. So good to see you Friday, you looker you. Have a seat. Soon it will be the weekend,, and we thank you for leading us there.

We all have to send prayers to those affected by Hurricane Ida. Having survived Harvey, I can tell you it will be a rough road ahead for everyone. Also, our friends on the East Coast are having their challenges with the rain resulting from the storm. Our hearts go out to them as well.

The thirteen Marines killed during the withdrawal from Afghanistan landed at Dover Air Force base. We pray their families will at some point come to some element of peace knowing they are back. I also hope there will be some justice for those responsible for these deaths. I applaud both sides of the Congressional aisle who are demanding answers. Since the administration wants to move the Afghanistan story off page one as soon as possible, I hope those with conscience keep asking for a detailed account of what caused such a mess.

Some politicians are crowing that the withdrawal was a big success since over 100,000 people were evacuated. I tend to think about the 10% of American citizens who are still trapped in the country and, of course, the thirteen who gave their lives. Yeah, call me old-fashioned,, but success would have been no lives lost and 100% of our citizens saved.

Texas finished the meteorological summer with the coolest weather in 13 years. Our temperature was down for the three-month period by 0.58 degrees, and we only had four 100 degree days. So we will have to see what September has in store.

Today’s JohnKu talks about the weather (What else?) I hope you have a wonderful Weekend.

It takes one who knows,

To guide us through the weather . . .

Or just flip a coin.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy Needs Entertainment.

September 2, 2021September 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 111 Comments

“Hey, Lucy. Do you want to play with Eel?

“Gee, I was just getting ready for a nap.”

“Yeah, but look how much fun we can have.”

“Call the boss; maybe he’ll play with you.”

“Ah, Dad. Let’s do the tug-o-war.”

“Sure, Anything you want.”

“That’s the ticket. Now drag me.”

“You sure your teeth can stand it.”

“Hey, Lucy. Look at me. Being dragged.”

“Let me just imagine it, Little one.”

“I’m coming back by you. Want to play too.”

“Goodness. What part of nap didn’t you get?”

“Okay then. I let go.”

“Sure your teeth are okay?”

“They are fine. Why do you ask?”

“Well, being hauled around with your whole weight on them.”

“You calling me fat?”

“No, I’m not. Just concerned about your teeth. Now remove yourself from my face.”

“I think she was calling me fat.”

“Was not.”

“What do you think?”

“Who are you talking to? The boss left.”

“My friends, Lucy. My friends.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 327 by Keith Channing

August 31, 2021August 30, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 69 Comments

In Keiths words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Everyone, please be careful. We have been working at this site for over a year.”

“I hear you have turned up nothing but this one artifact.”

“That is correct. It appears the civilization disappeared without a trace.”

“Except for this one artifact.”

“Quite true, Ambrose. We are almost certain others will be found, but so far, this is all the evidence we have that anyone existed here before.”

“So, how would you describe the artifact, professor.”

“You can see for yourself that it is green and make out of a substance that is hard and clear.”

“Do you have a guess as to its age?”

“It is tough to determine since we would have to take a piece of it and then do a dating process. However, given the low level of technology, I would put this object in the twenty-first century, say around 2021.”

“Wow, professor, that was five thousand years ago.”

“I know, er, what was your name again?”

“Tantius.”

“Ah, yes, Tantius, the son of Truntious. It is over five thousand years. You see, back then, humans used to walk around with sustenance in containers. These were made out of silica and were a very crude method of portability compared to our standards.”

“Why did they need to carry sustenance, Professor.”

“No one is sure Tantius. They had a term for it. They called it carry-out.”

“Wasn’t that what helped make them extinct?”

“Well done, Ambrose. Yes, their carry-out finally did them in. Unfortunately, they did not know how to dispose of these containers, so their rivers and oceans finally ran dry with the magnitude of the waste.”

“Yet this is the only artifact.”

“It is a little poetic, isn’t it? I suppose we will never know where all the dross finally went. However, we should be thankful that it is gone.”

“What are you going to do with this artifact?”

“We will wrap it and carefully transport it back to Tandox. They can study it more there and will be able to lift the traces of matter that will identify the last user of this container.”

“What then?”

“The matter can be used to replicate the user for further study.”

“I would love to see that. They say humans only had two eyes.”

“Yes, Tantis. They were definitely inferior to our race. If they hadn’t eliminated themselves, they would be no match for us. Unfortunately, we only have sketchy descriptions of them, but they seemed to be ill-equipped for survival. Well, are we ready to head back to the classroom?”

“Speaking for myself, this has been a fascinating discussion. I could really go for some lunch.”

“Lovely, Tantis, thank you. We have some fresh dung waiting for us when we get back, which I’m sure you will enjoy.”

Top Ten Things Not to do While Visiting a Doctor

August 30, 2021August 29, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 85 Comments

This post was originally run on August 15, 2014. I think it remains relevant today. Also, I’m at Story Empire today discussing Lewin’s Change Process if you care to pop over there too. Here’s the link.

* * *

Here is the 60th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. The inspiration for this came from sitting in several doctor’s offices this week.

Top Ten Things Not to do While Visiting a Doctor

10. If you visit a doctor, do not listen to your tunes with earphones while in the waiting room. If you do, at best, you will miss your name and have a few more hours wait. At worst, you will start humming one of your favorites and will be asked to wait in the hallway until your name is called.

9. If you are visiting a doctor, do not smile at the old lady sitting across from you even though she is smiling at you. If you do, at best, she will think you nuts since her smile will turn out to be gas. At worst, she will think you are being fresh and give you a nice whack with her cane.

8. If you are visiting a doctor, remember to turn off your cellphone. If you don’t, at best, you will get some annoying notifications. At worst, you will get a call from another doctor’s office wanting to discuss your last test results.

7. If you are visiting a doctor, do not touch anything in the office waiting room. If you do, at best, you will only catch a cold. At worst, you will be in line for the next case of Rona since the last case finished with the magazine you are reading now.

6. If you are visiting a doctor, do not attempt any doctor humor. If you do, at best, you will bomb like Henny Youngman at an NRA convention. At worst, you will keep wondering about not being able to feel your leg after the shot from the humorless one in charge.

5. If you are visiting a doctor, do not try to get in without paying your co-payment amount. If you do, at best, you will be called back to the front to the amusement of all the patients. At worst, you will meet the biggest medical technician who will hold you upside down until you pay up.

4. If you are visiting a doctor, do not go through any of the cabinets in the examination room. If you do, at best, you will see some unusual instruments that will make you want to leave immediately. At worst, the doctor will walk in just as you come across the samples of products designed to prevent sexually transmitted disease

3. If you are visiting a doctor, do not ask questions about the degrees posted on the walls. If you do, at best, you will find they don’t belong to your doctor. At worst, you will find out your doctor went to a rival school to yours and one known for its status as a party university.

2. If you are visiting a doctor, do not ask for samples of drugs. If you do, at best, you will be given a lecture about the evils of addiction. At worst, you will be escorted to the interrogation room of the local DEA office, where there will be difficult questions about what you know and when you knew it.

1. If you are visiting a doctor, do not forget to bring your medication list. If you forget, at best, your doctor will prescribe something similar to what you already take. At worst, your doctor will prescribe drugs that have contraindications to what you take, and you will be found tomorrow wandering naked in the middle of the street babbling something about the giant pink elephant.