Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Creation of the Colorado Territory in 1861

March 1, 2021March 7, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

This week marks the 160th anniversary of the establishment of the Colorado territory in 1861. Normally on our time travel, we go to the point of the historic anniversary. Since the actual establishment was done in Congress and there is the potential of catching a rash when we go near Washington, we will travel to Colorado. We want to observe how the population is taking the news. Since most of the Colorado people are involved one way or another in gold mining, we will be seeing a lot of miners. We don’t want to cause a tear in the time continuum, so we need to have our list handy.

James Wainwright’s 1956 Oldsmobile from Eternal Road – The final stop. You should read this one on Amazon. Just click the car to go there. Hurry back.

10 If you go, do not stand in a minor’s claim on Pike’s Peak. If you do, at best, the miner will be at the saloon. At worst, you’ll be taken for a claim jumper. (You know how it is, Marlin. These guys are jumpy around strangers. That shotgun looks like it’s loaded. might be time to go.)

9 If you go, do not ask Tiny, the WWF champ, if he ever played for the Denver Broncos. If you do, at best, he will be busy panning for gold. At worst, he will think you are teasing him. (Tiny has missed that last seven group sessions on positive self-image, Marlyssa. He thinks you are wondering if he ever played with horses and has taken offense. Don’t worry, the way down isn’t very long. Oops didn’t know he was tossing you off of Pike’s Peak.)

8 If you go, do not ask the saloon keep for a Mountain Brewed Coors. If you do, at best, he’ll just wait on someone else. At worst, he’ll deploy the famous mallet that he keeps behind the bar. (You see Marq, Adolf Coors began brewing beer in 1873, so the saloon keeper never heard of it. Like Tiny, he can’t believe he doesn’t know something, so your head being kissed by the mallet explains it all.)

7 If you go, do not ask for a cheeseburger at the local restaurant. If you do, at best, no one will know what you mean. At worst, you’ll be served something you can’t identify. (The reason is, Marquise, although you heard the cheeseburger was invented in Denver, it wasn’t until 1935. Go ahead and eat that ground cheese.)

6 If you go, do not ask for directions to the rodeo. If you do, at best, you’ll get puzzled looks. At worst, those you ask will wonder where you call home. (Although the first rodeo was held in Deer trail, Colorado, in 1869, Marsh, you are a little ahead of your time. A couple of those roughnecks are wondering if you are going to ride that bull. Saying no does not look like an option.)

5 If you go, do not ask if anyone found a gold nugget. If you do, at best, folks will think you are nuts. At worst, they may think you are a con man. (The largest piece of gold found in Colorado was a 156 troy-ounce ( 10.76 pounds) piece of pocket gold found by Tom Groves in 1887 in Breckenridge. Most of the Denver area’s gold was placer gold in small pieces or dust, Mattainn. Looks like the Sherrif wants to talk to you.)

4 If you go, do not mention the total output of all the mines in Colorado. If you do, at best, they won’t believe you. At worst, they will think you are from another planet. (You should have kept your mouth shut, Martinien. Telling everyone that total gold production from the area would be over 1,155 tons made you look like an idiot. Here comes a gang of well-wishers with torches. Hope you like rail riding with tar and feathers.)

3 If you go, do not try to sell Pike’s Peak or Bust t-shirts. If you do, at best, no one will be interested. At worst, you’ll sell hundreds. (You now have a big problem, Marven. The T-shirt was not invented until after 1898, when the Navy issued them as standard underwear. How are you going to find someone to make them? I think you better give refunds pronto.)

2 If you go, do not do any strenuous exercise until you are used to the altitude. If you do, at best, you’ll just faint. At worst, you’ll get a case of altitude sickness. (You don’t want to fall off a mountain, Masoud. That first step can be a long one. Can you scream for 10,000 feet?)

1 If you go, do not argue with anyone about being able to stand where four states come together. If you do, at best, there is no money placed on a bet. At worst, your new BMW is now owned by a grisly miner. (It is possible to be in more than two states at the same time, Matchithew. In Colorado’s southwest corner, the state borders three others, Arizona, New Mexico, and Utah. The Four Corners Monument is where to stand in Arizona, New Mexico, and Utah at the same time. I wonder how that guy is going to get your BMW. It is sitting back in 2021. No, he’s not coming with us.)

Views of the Neighborhood – A Gloomy Day

February 28, 2021February 27, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

Views of the Neighborhood

Well, today is certainly gloomy. Here’s a shot of the fog in front of the house. Today’s trip is to see if we can find any trace of spring after our 144 hours of freezing temperatures. It looks like we will need to amp up the food, so we have hired The French Laundry in Yountville, California, to cater to our trip today. Thomas Keller has prepared a Chef’s tasting menu for your enjoyment.
“OYSTERS AND PEARLS”
“Sabayon” of Pearl Tapioca with Island Creek Oysters and Regiis Ova Caviar
GOLDEN BEET “GAZPACHO”
Tomato Water “Gelée” and Fragrant Basil.
“BREAD AND BUTTER”
Bitter Cocoa Laminated Brioche and Diane St. Clair’s Animal Farm Butter.
CHILLED DUNGENESS CRAB
Brokaw Avocado Mousse, Cilantro Infused Olive Oil, “Salsa Cruda,” and Toasted Brioche.
SAUTÉED FILLET OF “LOUP DE MER”
Garden Broccoli “Ravioli” and Spanish Caper “Velouté.”
APPLEWOOD SMOKED LIBERTY FARMS PEKIN DUCK
Wilted Arrowleaf Spinach and “Sauce Diable.”
or
HAND ROLLED RICOTTA “AGNOLOTTI”
Cheese Rind “Consommé” and Shaved Périgord Black Winter Truffles.
ALL DAY BRAISED ELYSIAN FIELDS FARM LAMB
Rancho Gordo Pinquito Beans, Kettle Garlic “Béchamel,” San Marzano Tomato Marmalade and English Thyme Jus. or
“STEAK AND POTATOES”
Charcoal Grilled Japanese Wagyu, Russet Potato “Darphin,” La Ratte Potato Purée and Caramelized Onion “au Jus.”
“GOUGÈRE”
Andante Dairy “Etude” and Preserved Périgord Black Winter Truffle “Fondue.”
ASSORTMENT OF DESSERTS
Fruit, Ice Cream, Chocolate, and Candies.

For the red wine, we have a Napa Valley cabernet sauvignon Araujo, “Eisele Vineyard” 2009, and the white also from Napa Valley Kongsgaard, “The Judge” 2018. Today’s entertainment is Bob Seger.

Hop on, and let’s get going.

The agaves took a real hit in the freezing weather. If you squeeze these points and they are solid, then your agave will survive. All the dead leaves need to be cut off.

This is new grass that was planted last month. Looks like it is doing well.

We need to go to the greenbelt to see the effects of the storm.

Ah ha. Some gladiolas are pushing up.

Here are some daffodil plants making an appearance. The deer have no doubt eaten the other blooms.

A broken juniper.

Here is one of my favorite places to contemplate.

I thought you would like to see and hear the water.

A cut juniper.

The origin of the cut.

Some lovely green moss on an oak tree

The lily pads are still there.

I never noticed this accommodation of the tree by the fence before.

Spillways look fine.

Looks like the bluebonnets have come up.

The poor cactus community was hard hit.

Here is an example of how the agaves need to be cut.

Here is a palm that has been given a haircut for survival.

A couple of trimmed sago palms.

That is the tour for today. Stay, eat and drink and listen to Bob. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Sty”

February 27, 2021February 26, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and I looked up in time to see a balloon floating down into the yard. Not being cautious, I ran over since I could see an envelope attached to a string on the balloon. Sure enough, the return address was Linda Hill’s. I ripped open the envelope to find out the prompt this week. To my surprise, here’s the message. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “-sty.” Find a word that ends in “-sty” or use the word “sty.” Enjoy!”

If you would like to participate, visit Linda’s blog and see how easy it is to lose your grip[ on reality. Here’s the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 27, 2021

“I don’t even have to ask. You got the prompt for this week.”

“Why don’t you have to ask?”

“You have the ashen look of a person who is flummoxed.”

“I’m not flummoxed. I just can’t decide the direction.”

“What is the prompt?”

“Sty.”

“Like in the eye?”

“Well, that could be one but words that end in s-t-y or the word itself.”

“Describe your bedroom, and you’ve got it.”

“Meaning?”

“Pigsty.”

“Yeah, very funny, that is a different word.”

“Okay, you got me. What are you going to do?”

“Ask a friend for help.”

“You have one?”

“I think I need to do this myself. Honesty is not your strong suit.”

“Ah, don’t be testy. I was just kidding. Let me help.”

“Okay, I’ll give you amnesty. Any ideas?”

“How about talking about modesty?”

“Um. I would have to get into immodesty descriptions, and that might get me into trouble.”

“Okay, maybe discuss your rhinoplasty.”

“Nose job? I haven’t had a nose job. That would be an element of dishonesty.”

“Was an idea that came to be looking at your nose. Maybe a nice story of the desert. Your hero could be thirsty and out of his mind.”

“And then he becomes a bloodthirsty killer as a result.”

“Now you’re cooking. I’ll leave you in this feisty mode. You’ve got this.”

“Thanks for your help. I was too hasty judging your input.”

“Now that your prompt problems are over, how about a frosty one?”

“At the Zesty Pig Pub?”

“I think you are pushing it, but sounds tasty.”

“After you, your majesty.”

“Stop it.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

February 26, 2021February 25, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 113 Comments

“Where you going Little One?”
“Gonna find someone who will ruckus with me. It’s Friday.”
“I will.”
“You have to move to ruckus.”
“Good point.”

It is Friday, and what a difference in the neighborhood. Now that the power is back and the temperatures have gone from below freezing into the high 70s, I have to say I’m a happy camper.

The investigations into the cause of so many homes without power are underway. Six board members of the Electric Reliability Council of Texas, or ERCOT, the industry nonprofit that operates the grid that supplies power to 90 percent of the state, have resigned. The governor has stated that those resignations do not represent the end of the issue. He has asked the Stare legislature to conduct a full investigation of the root cause of the problem and develop solutions to prevent it from occurring again. He has also called upon the Travis County District Attorney to investigate any basis for criminal charges. This situation needs to be rectified, and it will.

Those most unsympathetic bloggers have used the unfortunate situation to rant about how Texas people should now be sorry they didn’t vote out elected officials and vote in their candidates last November. This is the most insulting shoulda, woulda, coulda imaginable. It’s like telling a flood victim that they should have known better than to live in a flood plain. Such comments directed at the Texas voting population are a disgusting example of political blindness and a total lack of knowledge of the true facts.

One needs to remind these know-it-alls (the most vicious live outside of Texas) that the deregulation of Texas energy in 2002 was supported by Texas’s citizens. They should also know that before this unprecedented weather, Texas’s energy system had been functioning very well under the stress of the extremely high temperatures so common here for most of the year. Although deregulation has not reduced the cost of energy, it has ensured its availability.

Texas tends to take care of its own, and as big a deal non-Texans want to make of Texas’s flaws, we will overcome this current problem. Also, for all those who continue to harp on Ted Cruz’s lack of judgment, let me say he is our problem, and we thank you for sharing your opinions. His future looks bleak and we will have to ride out his term in the Senate.

Today’s JohnKu is a reminder to be careful about criticism. I hope you have a super weekend.

It is so easy,

To criticize someone else . . .

Look at yourself first.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy Warm Again

February 25, 2021February 24, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 107 Comments

Lucy and Twiggy

“Whoa, Lucy. This ground is warm.”

“Yes, it is. The temp is 81 degrees F today. That’s 27.2 C for our metric friends.”

“Why are you laying there staring at the fence.”

“No reason. I just wanted the sun on my back.”

“I’m not buying it. There must be something over there.”

“There isn’t anything, I promise you.”

“Well, that’s disappointing. I thought you would have a reason for laying that way.”

“Nope, just catching the rays.”

“You lay here if you want. I’m going to check out the patio.”

Lucy and Twiggy

“Hmm, the snow didn’t leave any marks.”

“What? I can’t hear you.”

“Nothing. I was just admiring the vincas. Are these edible?”

“You are mumbling. Come where I can hear you.”

“Okay, I’m here. What’s that over there?”

“Weren’t you saying something about the patio, and now you are wondering what is over there?”

“Well, yes. That’s what I do. Attention isn’t my strong suit.”

Lucy and Twiggy

“Where you going?”

“I need a drink. I’m going into the saloon.”

“Very funny. What’s wrong with a little deficit in the attention department?”

“Huh? I was looking at that shiny thing on the porch.”

“Okay, I get it.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

February 24, 2021February 23, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy — “This grass smells good.”
“Don’t you miss the snow, Little One?”
“It’s 70 degrees and Hump Day. I don’t miss it at all.”

It is Wednesday Storytime again, and last week, we were there when the tech felt he could get a court order and intercept calls that were being made from Stennis, the lawyer, to phones which had numbers that had been previously assigned to three dead undertakers. (you still with me?) The reason the numbers needed to be live is Stennis was involved in some kind of deal that the other side wanted him to believe they were real people with identities. (You still with me?). So Stennis has made calls to the numbers, and we will be able to find out what was discussed. The tech said it would take about a week, and the week is up. Oh, look, he is coming back into Pricilla’s office. Let’s not miss a thing he says.”

“Ah, Agent Moore. You are back with the information, I hope.”

“Yes, Agent Thomas, I am. Afternoon detectives.”

“Good afternoon.”

“Okay, so what have you found out?”
“No big surprise on the fact that the three phones had different conversations.”

“Okay, so what were they?”

“Well, I’ll call them to phone one, two, and three.”

“So far, I’m following you.”

“Phone one carries the most conversation. Phones two and three were just verification calls as I had previously believed.”

“So tell me about phone one.”

“really interesting. It appears Mr. Stennis is actually working for Cortez’speople.”

“How do you know that?”

“One of the conversations was about his fee.”

“His fee? Like he was hired by them.”

“Exactly. I must say his fee is pretty high too.”

“Can I butt in here?”

“Certainly, Mr. Dunfee. What is it?”

“I know we think this is a Cortez-run operation. Is there any proof he’s involved in any of these conversations?”

“I think so.”

“Hold on, agent Moore. What do you mean I think so?”

“Well, Agent Thomas on the call, Cortez’s name was not mentioned, but they kept referring to Mr. C. That has to be him.”

“No direct evidence, though.”

“No direct evidence.”

“So that means we still need Lazar.”

“I’m just a tech, ma’am. I wouldn’t know.”

“I was speaking out loud, Agent Moore. I don’t expect you to know.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Anything said about anyone else?”

“Stennis did mention the local DA.”

“In what context?”

“He asked if there would be any legal problems with Spenser Taggett. I looked him up, and he’s the city attorney.”

“He mentioned him by name.”

“Oh, yes, he did.”

“So what are these people up to?”

“It looks like they are going to exchange Lazar’s daughter for Lazar.”

“Any reasons were given?”

“Other than keeping him quiet. None.”

“Okay, so everything we guessed would happen is going to happen. We need to formulate a plan.”

“One more thing.”

“Yes, Agent Moore.”

“Your name came up.”

“And what was said?”

“Not so much what was said but the context in which it was said.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Well, Stennis asked about what is going to be done about the investigation that you are conducting.”

“And?”

“He was told you would be taken care of.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 300

February 23, 2021February 22, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

This is the 300th post that Keith Channing has created as a prompt. I joined his prompts after the 36th. So this means I have been enjoying and participating in Keith’s prompts since August 4th, 2015. Boy, time flies when you are having fun. Congratulations Keith on a fine job.

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo,

Kreative Kue #300

Westward Ho by John W. Howell

“Amos. Come here and look at this.”

“What is it.”

“There is someone out in the south pasture on a lawn tractor.”

“I told you to make sure that gate was locked.”

“Never mind that. What is she doing there.”

“From my view, she’s mowing the hay.”

“We don’t want that do we?”

“I’ve thought it’s about time. I was just looking over the baler yesterday.”

“But she is cutting the hay, and look how it is blowing out in little pieces.”

“I think you’re right. That’s not the kind of thing we want. Hey, you on the tractor. in the pasture.”

“Me.”

“Are you on a tractor?”

“I think so.”

“Are you the only one in the pasture?”

“Besides you?”

“Yes.”

“I guess so.”

“So what are you doing here.”

“Heading West.”

“Heading West? On a lawnmower?”

“It’s the only vehicle I have.”

“But you are making a mess of my pasture.”

“I thought you would appreciate getting it cut.”

“The pieces are so small I won’t be able to pick them up.”

“Oh, I never thought of that.”

“You from around here.”

“No. I’m from New York.”

“New York City?”

“Yes.”

“And you came all the way to Iowa from there?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I have to give it to you. I couldn’t imagine doing that myself.”

“You want me to finish the mowing?”

“Maybe you need a break. What’s your name?”

“Jenny. Jenny Deere.”

“You wouldn’t be related to-”

“John Deere? Yup, he’s my dad.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on National Margarita Day (Which is Today)

February 22, 2021February 28, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 87 Comments

It is National Margarita Day today, and I would be remiss in allowing that kind of day to pass without providing some helpful advice. The top ten list won’t help prevent a time continuum disruption, but it might keep you out of jail.

10 On Margarita Day, do not begin the celebrations with breakfast. If you do, at best, you are still working at home and have no meetings. At worst, by ten o’clock, it is clear on your Zoom calls that something is amiss. (Your boss keeps asking you to be quiet, Mar. Might be a tip-off that the old tequila friendship is about to go south.)

9 On Margarita Day, do not stand between Tiny, the WWF champ, and his first margarita. If you, at best, he will go around you. At worst, he’ll think of you as a strip of asphalt. (When you get up off the floor, Marceau, do yourself a favor and go sit in the corner. Tiny has skipped several of his anger management classes, and he looks like he is one margarita over the line.)

8 On Margarita Day, do not ask for a virgin margarita. If you do, at best, the bartender will think you are kidding. At worst, the server will give you what is thought to be the right drink. (After your lips unpucker, Marcellin, and your hair returns to its normal flat on your head position, you will realize you were given a glass of pure lime juice. The thought was you were deficient in vitamin c.)

7 On Margarita Day, do not forget to tip the mariachi band. If you do, at best, they will play across the room. At worse, they will keep playing next to you until you cough up a tip. (You see, Marcely, this is how they make their living. If you don’t tip, they won’t get paid. No, a quarter is not enough.)

6 On Margarita Day, do not think you have to eat one taco for every margarita. If you do, at best, you’ll only have two. At worst, you managed to eat six tacos and drink six margaritas. (You don’t have much to worry about, Mardel. In a few minutes, your taco’s and Margarita’s will be joining each other in what is called a technicolor yawn.)

5 On Margarita Day, do not challenge everyone to guess which plant tequila comes from. If you do, at best, the room is too noisy for anyone to hear you. At worst, everyone knows it is the blue agave. (Don’t look now, Mardon, but people are starting to move away from you. Try not to go to your next quiz on agave nectar.

4 On Margarita Day, do not challenge everyone to a tequila shooter contest. If you do, at best, you will be ignored. At worst, someone will take you up on it. (Just your luck, Mariam, you have challenged the only guy in the room who has an immunity to the effects of alcohol. I see you are starting to drool and calling for the tender bar. It might be time to capitulate while you are still conscious.)

3 On Margarita Day, do not bother the bartender with your recipe for the perfect margarita. If you do, at best, they may be too busy to listen. At worst, they have been instructed to make the margaritas according to the house formula. (I can see they are getting a little irritated with you, Marino. If those daggers coming from the eyes are an indication of displeasure, just take the margarita as offered and go away.)

2 On Margarita Day, do not go into the health risks of salt on the rim. If you do, at best, the bartender will not be listening. At worst, the bartender is a very busy person right now. (They want to know with or without salt, Marji. Any other information is likely to earn you the status of cut-off.)

1 On Margarita Day, do not even think of having a good time with your margaritas and then getting behind the wheel. If you do, at best, someone will stop you. At worst is not something any of us want to think about. (Get out of that car, Marland before someone gets hurt. Let me call you a cab, and don’t say, “Okay, I’m a cab.”)

Views of the Neighborhood – After the Storm

February 21, 2021February 28, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 83 Comments

It is in the 50s, and the snow is almost gone. Today’s tour of the neighborhood will be a mixture of some sad things and some to make you smile. We will take the bus even though it is a short ride.

Of course, we need to take food, but since most food stores have minimal supply, we will be forced to make do with what we could find. For an appetizer, we have some Cheetos that are only a day past expiration. The main course will be a choice of hot dogs and beans served on whole-wheat toast with canned green beans or scrambled powdered eggs and spam served with canned peas. For dessert, we have a choice of an orange popsicle or Hostess Ho ho’s. We still have plenty of top-shelf liquor, and our wine today is Carlo Rossi red or Franzia chablis.

Today’s entertainment is Buck Owens.

Jump on the bus, and off we go.

Views of the Neighborhood

The first stop is not too far from home. The mountain laurel in our backyard took a hit.

The ice was in the trees yesterday morning with a wake-up temperature of 21 degrees F. ( -6.1 C)

Ice on the bushes. Then the temps went to 57 degrees F (13.8C)

Looks like someone had a hard time stopping before hitting the stop sign. The road was covered in ice.

A bunch of broken juniper limbs.

A snowman still left.

In honor of Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras.

Here’s the mountain laurel all trimmed. The Producer put a tag on its toe, but I got a stay of execution until after the sprig bloom to see what it does.

Palm trees took a big hit.

The deer love the sunshine.

An oak with broken limbs and glare in the photo.

A succulent broken into two pieces. It looks like the weather is going to get better from here and out further.

The tour is finished. Stay and have some more food and drink. Listen to Buck. Enjoy all you Buckaroos. Have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Nerve”

February 20, 2021February 19, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 69 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday, and I got a message attached to a snowball from Linda Hill. Here is what she said.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “nerve.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!”

If you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 20, 2021

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.”

“Who you talking to?”

“The curbside food delivery people. Hold on. Okay, then just eliminate the light fluid but keep the antifreeze. Can’t do that either? Well, cancel the order then. Bye.”

“What was that all about?”

“I decided to order this week’s groceries on-line. After I placed the order, I got a notice that a couple of things weren’t authorized for curbside pick up.”

“Lighter fluid and antifreeze?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you need those?”

“Well, the fluid is so I can light my candles with my lighter.”

“And the antifreeze?”

“So I can protect my car engine from freezing.”

“Seems odd that you would wait for cold weather to protect your engine.”

“I drained some of the antifreeze and put it in my toilets.”

“What kind of insane person does that?”

“I didn’t want them to freeze.”

“Who said they would.”

“No one, it just makes sense.”