Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Nerve”

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday, and I got a message attached to a snowball from Linda Hill. Here is what she said.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “nerve.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!”

If you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 20, 2021

Nerve by John W. Howell © 2021

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.”

“Who you talking to?”

“The curbside food delivery people. Hold on. Okay, then just eliminate the light fluid but keep the antifreeze. Can’t do that either? Well, cancel the order then. Bye.”

“What was that all about?”

“I decided to order this week’s groceries on-line. After I placed the order, I got a notice that a couple of things weren’t authorized for curbside pick up.”

“Lighter fluid and antifreeze?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you need those?”

“Well, the fluid is so I can light my candles with my lighter.”

“And the antifreeze?”

“So I can protect my car engine from freezing.”

“Seems odd that you would wait for cold weather to protect your engine.”

“I drained some of the antifreeze and put it in my toilets.”

“What kind of insane person does that?”

“I didn’t want them to freeze.”

“Who said they would.”

“No one, it just makes sense.”

“To who?”

“Whom.”

“I mean, the heat in your house would keep them from freezing.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Tell me about the heat.”

“You know I have natural gas.”

“I didn’t, but go ahead.”

“The lines froze.”

“So your heater doesn’t work.”

“Right.”

“What about your pipes?”

“Might be frozen too.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Ask to stay with you.”

“Sure, no problem, but I meant about the frozen pipes.”

“Buy bottled water. Take a shower at your house.”

“The pipes are going to break with the expanding ice.”

“Nah.”

“Why ‘nah?”‘

“Drained out the water and filled them with some of that noxious liquor you gave me over the years.”

“The 25-year-old bourbon?”

“Yup, ten bottles filled them up, right beautiful.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I could have used beer, but I didn’t have the nerve.”

“Okay, I give.”

“It would have been a big sacrifice. Besides, beer does freeze. Want one while it is still liquid?”

“Yeah, maybe. I keep thinking of that 1000 dollars floating around in your pipes.”

“It will still be there in the spring.”

“Never thought of that.”

“I saved the bottles.”

“Good man. Here’s to ya. You ready to go?”

“Got room for five cases of Bud?”

“Not at one sitting.”

 

69 comments

  1. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    Hilarious, John. 😂 People can do crazy things during natural disasters, and you’ve got the nerve to capitalize on that possibility. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Gwen. Had to poke fun at the whole situation. I was going to bring in the late arrival of generators but didn’t have the nerve to rile the cancel culture haters. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gwen M. Plano · ·

        Wise decision. 🤣

        Liked by 1 person

  2. 25-years-old-burbon… ouch! 😂 well, the story is crazy, I’ll tell ya, but suits our situation in the world right now 😉👍💙

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is crazy but you are right. Real-life is crazier for sure. 😁 Looking for spring. 🌷

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Why do I think both the antifreeze and alcohol ideas have been attempted by at least one person in history?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That was my thought as well, Charles!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha. Thanks, Liz. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re welcome, John.

        Like

    2. I’m sure you are right. When I Googled how to stop pipes from bursting there was a warning not to put antifreeze in toilets. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wouldn’t be a warning if it hadn’t been tried.

        Like

  4. Hi,
    I am really sorry about what is happening in Texas. You all made international news. Here in Germany, we had about fourteen days of cold weather 30 degrees below zero and that was enough for me. Our pipes and everything were okay though. Germany was prepared for such cold weather.
    I think I would have cried at the 25-year-old bourbon being poured down the drain. That hurts my heart.
    I hope you have an enjoyable weekend.
    Shalom aleichem

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As a bourbon drinker, I chose something that would hit my nerve. Thanks, Pat. Shalom.

      Like

  5. Delightful! If antifreeze is a no-no, the gun shop probably won’t respond to my curbside order. Darn!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you will be surprised, Susan. No dynamite though. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. HA! I just crossed it off of my list.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Good thing. Grenades still on the list though right?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No… just half a dozen landmines.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. They work quite well. Makes the neighbors behave.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. HA! Makes the neighbors be gone in my neck of the woods. LOL
        This has been fun. Let me know if Homeland Security knocks on your door. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Sacrilegious! $1000 worth of bourbon down the drains? You couldn’t do it with cheap rubbing alcohol?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well….sure but where’s the stupidy in that? 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Lol! Nice one, John. This was better than those Super Bowl commercials! Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you *sung to the tune of Good Morning Starshine by Oliver.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. “Not at one sitting. ” I live that, John. What a waste of bourbon though. You could have used some of that hand sanitizer you’ve been hoarding.

    Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is true about using bourbon, Dan but where would the cringe factor come in?

      Liked by 1 person

  9. […] “Well, since my shoulders are fine, I’ll go with something lighter, say a glass of John Howell’s Bourbon.” […]

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Antifreeze in toilets is a new one to me. Creativity in Snowmageddon is at an all time high. I chuckled at “To who?” “Whom”. I never get that right.

    Glad for the warming temps. Happy Saturday John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jill. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  11. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Lol. I would have never thought of alcohol in the pipes. Of course now I’m wondering about so many other possibilities.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. It is a thing to wonder. Thanks, Denise.

      Like

  12. Oh dear! The bourbon down the drains got to me. 🙂 Good one, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Got to me too, Jan. Never happen at my house. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  13. The master at work! ‘Beam me down to the pipes, Captain’!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes sir, Scotty. On tap. Thank you, Billy Ray.

      Like

  14. Hysterical, John, and a new perspective of money down the drain. Only you could find humor in these situations. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lauren

      Like

  15. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    Whatever works—I’m open to all options. Are things finally warming up?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, we are looking at 69 degrees today. 😁

      Like

  16. Use the vinegar. Keep the bourbon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It does freeze at 28 degrees. Good idea, though. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  17. You mean THE John Howell bourbon down the drain? Does Dan know about this? Poor David at the bar might have a heart attack. 1-800-CHERYL.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahaha. I think you hit the nail on the head with all of these. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think I probably did! 😅

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Just wait till Marc reads this. It’s gonna bring a tear to his eye for sure!
    Best to laugh at the crap you guys are living right now, instead of cry, I say.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so true, Dale. Thanks. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. 😊

      Like

  19. Not the good bourbon!!! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No. Only kidding. Jim Beam. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Yes, about ten bottles of bourbon should do it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Wow! Bourbon down the drain! You have to make the best of the worse even with vintage bourbon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, Karen. Don’t worry no bourbon was harmed in the making of this post. 😊

      Like

  22. I was all set to remark about how the antifreeze trick works and then . . the bourbon. Just the thought of it makes me want to grab a pipe cutter . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just open the faucet. (Put a glass under first.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That would be a dream come true . . .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha. Yes, it would. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

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