Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Nerve”

~ John W. Howell

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday, and I got a message attached to a snowball from Linda Hill. Here is what she said.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “nerve.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!”

If you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 20, 2021

Nerve by John W. Howell © 2021

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.”

“Who you talking to?”

“The curbside food delivery people. Hold on. Okay, then just eliminate the light fluid but keep the antifreeze. Can’t do that either? Well, cancel the order then. Bye.”

“What was that all about?”

“I decided to order this week’s groceries on-line. After I placed the order, I got a notice that a couple of things weren’t authorized for curbside pick up.”

“Lighter fluid and antifreeze?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you need those?”

“Well, the fluid is so I can light my candles with my lighter.”

“And the antifreeze?”

“So I can protect my car engine from freezing.”

“Seems odd that you would wait for cold weather to protect your engine.”

“I drained some of the antifreeze and put it in my toilets.”

“What kind of insane person does that?”

“I didn’t want them to freeze.”

“Who said they would.”

“No one, it just makes sense.”

“To who?”

“Whom.”

“I mean, the heat in your house would keep them from freezing.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Tell me about the heat.”

“You know I have natural gas.”

“I didn’t, but go ahead.”

“The lines froze.”

“So your heater doesn’t work.”

“Right.”

“What about your pipes?”

“Might be frozen too.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Ask to stay with you.”

“Sure, no problem, but I meant about the frozen pipes.”

“Buy bottled water. Take a shower at your house.”

“The pipes are going to break with the expanding ice.”

“Nah.”

“Why ‘nah?”‘

“Drained out the water and filled them with some of that noxious liquor you gave me over the years.”

“The 25-year-old bourbon?”

“Yup, ten bottles filled them up, right beautiful.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I could have used beer, but I didn’t have the nerve.”

“Okay, I give.”

“It would have been a big sacrifice. Besides, beer does freeze. Want one while it is still liquid?”

“Yeah, maybe. I keep thinking of that 1000 dollars floating around in your pipes.”

“It will still be there in the spring.”

“Never thought of that.”

“I saved the bottles.”

“Good man. Here’s to ya. You ready to go?”

“Got room for five cases of Bud?”

“Not at one sitting.”

 

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Published by John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

69 thoughts on “Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Nerve””

  1. Hilarious, John. 😂 People can do crazy things during natural disasters, and you’ve got the nerve to capitalize on that possibility. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi,
    I am really sorry about what is happening in Texas. You all made international news. Here in Germany, we had about fourteen days of cold weather 30 degrees below zero and that was enough for me. Our pipes and everything were okay though. Germany was prepared for such cold weather.
    I think I would have cried at the 25-year-old bourbon being poured down the drain. That hurts my heart.
    I hope you have an enjoyable weekend.
    Shalom aleichem

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: It’s Not the Shovel’s Fault – #SoCS – No Facilities

  10. Antifreeze in toilets is a new one to me. Creativity in Snowmageddon is at an all time high. I chuckled at “To who?” “Whom”. I never get that right.

    Glad for the warming temps. Happy Saturday John!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Just wait till Marc reads this. It’s gonna bring a tear to his eye for sure!
    Best to laugh at the crap you guys are living right now, instead of cry, I say.

    Liked by 1 person

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