Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

June 24, 2020June 23, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

“Did you set the alarm for Friday, Lucy?”
“I did, Little One.”
“ZZZZZZ”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week, we learned from Nikola Stanković (A dominant Serbian underworld boss) that Lazar Popović (Another Serbian underworld boss) may be behind the attempts on Larry and Andrew’s life. We also found out that Lazar Popović’s sister was married to Igor Sandusky. So now that we have so many names we can’t pronounce, we should get on with the story. The gang has had their second drink of Stanković’s private vodka stock, so it looks like they are getting down to business.

“So, Mr. Dunfee, I have a proposal for you.”

“I’m all ears, Mr. Stanković.”

“Ha. ‘All ears.’ One of those American idioms, Yes?”

“Yes, sir. Means I’m listening.”

“Okay, then. You have a major enemy in Lazar Popović, yes?”

“I only have your word for that.”

“You. Can trust my word.”

“Okay, let’s just say that Lazar Popović is trying to kill Andrew and me for reasons unknown.”

“Good. Now let’s say Lazar Popović has some problem with the law, Yes?”

“Problem? What kind of problem?”

“Oh, maybe he is caught trying to distribute some illegal drugs or something like that.”

“How would we find out about illegal drugs?”

“Well, let’s assume you have a friend that has that information and can pass it to you.”

“Do you know such a friend?”

“It all depends.”

“On what?”

“On how much that friend can trust that you and your team will make a good case against Lazar Popović.”

“You know we will need probable cause to even enter a facility.”

“I’m pretty sure I will be able to supply that as you say, ‘probable cause. I know someone who is working for Lazar Popović who would be willing to exercise his good citizenship by coming forward at the right time to provide an eyewitness account of the illegal activities.”

“A solid citizen?”

“But of course.”

“What do you get out of all this?”

“An excellent question, my friend. I mentioned that an enemy of Lazar Popovic is a friend of mine, yes?”

“You did say that.”

“So, without Lazar Popović messing in my business, I stand to control all of Nevada.”

“Please don’t tell me what that means.”

“Ha. You are a knowledgeable man, Mr. Dunfee. Do we have a deal?”

“What about you, Lieutenant. You’ve been pretty quiet.”

“What did you say, Larry. I’m sorry, but I haven’t been paying attention. Sure, I’ll have another drink.”

“Okay. I get it. I guess we have nothing to lose Mr. Stanković. Let’s do it.”

“Ah, my friend. You will not be sorry. Here let me fill your glass.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Production of the Last Packard Automobile in 1956

June 22, 2020June 21, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

This week marks the anniversary of the production of the last Packard automobile in Detroit, Michigan in 1956. The Packard was, at one time, the hallmark of luxury production cars. The company used the slogan, “Ask a man who owns one,” for many years. Since this is the passing of an icon, it seems only right to go and watch the last machine to roll off the production line. Take your top ten list so you don’t stumble inadvertently into a situation that could cause a tear in the time continuum. So pack your bag and let’s go.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Production of the Last Packard Automobile in 1956.

10 If you go, do not mention the name Cadillac while in the factory. If you do, at best you may not be heard over the noise. At worst, the production crew who have just been told that Cadillac is the reason for shutting the plant will hear you. (Time to try and make them believe you didn’t say Cadillac, Latinus. How about golf? “You know my caddy lacks enough skill to be helpful.” It doesn’t look like it’s working. Hit the fire drill button.)

9 If you go, do not tell Tiny the WWF champ that he missed a spot while polishing the car. If you do, at best, he is thinking of the lunch hour and will ignore you. At worst, Tiny, who just finished being admonished for careless work, will take your comment to heart. (One thing you should know, Lauren, is that Tiny does not take criticism well. In fact, his foreman has been on long term medical leave since he told Tiny to be more careful. Yeah, he’s coming this way. Tine to try out those Nike’s)

8 If you go, do not blow the words to “See You Later Alligator” by Bill Haley and the Comets. If you do, at best the other workers will be singing so loud they won’t notice. At worst, you will be discovered not knowing the words to the number one song. (Not really a big deal, Law, but you can’t make any more mistakes. Better hope you can handle “Blue Suede Shoes” by Elvis. That one is next.)

7 If you go, do not talk about having a McDonalds Big Mac for lunch. If you do, at best, no one will know what you are talking about. At worst, you will draw attention to the fact that you are not from around here. (The first McDonalds opened in Michigan in 1957, Leal. It opened in Lansing, which is eighty miles north. Don’t worry, the workers just think you are weird, not dangerous.)

6 If you go, do not ask if the car comes equipped with a stereo radio. If you do, at best, no one will understand you. At worst, you will be talking to an engineer who will catch the concept and wonder where you came from. (Stereo radios were not installed in cars until 1969. I think that engineer is in love with you, Leandros.)

5 If you go, do not ask for a color wheel to help decide the color of the last vehicle. If you do, at best you will be ignored. At worst, you will sound like you are mocking the final selection. (You see, Leeroy, it has been decided that the last Packard made would be a black Packard Patrician four door. I think those guys with wrenches want to see you. Yeah, I would ignore them too.)

4 If you go, do not scoff at the price tag of $4190 for the loaded Packard Patrician. If you do, at best everyone will think you are rich. At worst, the production crew will think you are saying the car is too cheap. ( You have to remember, Legolas that $4190 in 1956 would be worth $39, 495 today. So the car was far from cheap but not as expensive as some. The production crew would like to see you outside. No, I’m not going with you.)

3 If you go, do not forget some of the plots of the shows that were popular on TV. If you do, at best, the crew will think your memory is shot. At worst they’ll think you are nuts. (so let’s hope you remember I Love Lucy, Gunsmoke, Jack Benny, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Res Skelton, and You Bey Your Life cause these guys just watched a few last night. No Leighton? That’s too bad.)

2 If you go, Do not tell the workers what is in store for the company. If you do, at best they won’t believe you. At worst they will take out the bad news on you. (The company merged with Studebaker, who was in bigger financial trouble. By 1958 although an attempt was made to produce Packards in South Bend Indiana the brand was totally discontinued. Aren’t you glad you didn’t tell them this, Lemuel.)

1 If you go, do not even think about sitting in the last Packard. If you do, at best no one will be able to find the keys. At worst, you will sit with a spot of grease on your pants. (The shop steward is demanding that you pay for the car Leodegan. I think your Visa card will not be accepted. He doesn’t look like someone who you want to argue with right now. Hit the way back button.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Happy Father’s Day

June 21, 2020June 20, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 69 Comments

Since this is Father’s Day, I want to wish all you fathers a happy joy-filled day. For the views this week, I thought I would share where I’ll be spending some time.

views of the Neighborhood

One place is out in the side yard, relaxing.

The other is the back porch. I had hoped to be able to show my new matte black grill that will go on that blank wall. Unfortunately, it is still with the manufacturer. It seems Covid-19 caused some delays. It was supposed to be delivered in May and now is scheduled for July.

I hope you all have a great day.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt- “ZZ”

June 20, 2020June 19, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and here is Linda Hill to explain this week’s prompt. “Thank you, John. I have to say that long hair gives you the appearance of a mad scientist. It’s a good look. I would keep it. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “zz.” Find a word with double-z in it and use it in your post. Enjoy!”

Yeah, thank you, Linda. If you would like to have fun too, just visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 20/2020

“You and a dictionary? What gives?”

“Our prompt this week is a word that has a double z. Linda said to look up a word with. a double z and use it.”

“I’m guessing no first names like Izzy or ZZ Top.”

“She never said anything about that.”

“There are a ton of words. Gizzard, pizzazz, pizza, sizzle, drizzle.”

“Come on, this is my prompt. Let me do it.”

“Sure. We have all day.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No offense, but sometimes you are the dizziest when it comes to making a decision.”

“Yeah, nice thing to say. So sometimes I get puzzled. No one’s perfect.”

“I think the word to describe your condition is frazzled.”

“Okay, I got it. I’m going to talk about the Grizzley bear.”

“Careful. Make sure that thing has a muzzle.”

“Ha ha, very funny. Thanks for the razzing.”

“All these double z words makes me thirsty for a guzzle.”

“You thinking of getting sozzled?”

“Could be on the list. Want to help me swizzle.”

“You bet. When I’m sufficiently fuzzed, I’m coming home to jump in the Jacuzzi.”

“You have to stop now. I think you are done.”

“For shizzle. Fizzy barley pop here we come.”

“Just shoot me.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA- TGIF

June 19, 2020June 18, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

It is Friday once again. Hopefully, everyone is safe and well. It is becoming more difficult to stay safe and well for sure.

Today the governor approved a workaround for requiring the wearing of masks here in Texas. A county judge in San Antonio found a loophole whereby the state and local municipalities cand enforce the wearing of masks in retail establishments. It is quite simple. Retailers are now required not to let anyone in the store without a mask. As we all know, social distancing and masks are very effective in stopping the spread of Covid-19. With people jamming into bars and onto beaches the new case and hospitalizations of Covid-19 victims has skyrocketed. So far voluntary compliance has not been effective. Let’s hope the new retail requirement can make a difference. For the life of me, I don’t understand why folks take this disease so casually especially when the young are getting sick.

In other news. There has been no response from the agent community on my queries. I guess I’ll have to send follow up notes to extract a decision.

Today’s JohnKu talks about individual rights in a pandemic. I hope you have a super weekend.

Good health is a right,

Which supersedes most others . . .

Put on the damn mask.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy and a Nest Doorbell

June 18, 2020June 17, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

Lucy and Twiggy

“Hey, what’s all this stuff, Dad.”

“I’m installing a Nest doorbell.”

“A doorbell for birds? Can’t their visitors knock?”

“It is not for a bird’s nest. That’s the name of the product.”

“You people have some strange names for things.”

“I think you are right, Little One. I didn’t name it, though.”

“Okay, Boss. What did I miss?”

Nothing, Lucy. Well, maybe a funny comment by Twiggy.”

You going up on that Ladder, Boss?”

“Yup. The ringer is way up there.”

“Gee, Dad. That is almost out of sight.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.”

“What’s the doorbell for anyway?”

“So we can keep track of who comes to the door.”

“I would think you could look out the window for that.”

“You are right, Twiggy. This gives us a video record of who has been to the front door.”

“This ladder tastes funny. Why do you need a record?”

“It is a matter of safety. Let’s say someone tries to break in. We will have a way for the police to identify them.”

“Other than the large bite mark on their backside, you mean?”

“Let’s just say we think it’s a good idea.”

“Okay, Lucy. I’ve heard enough. Let’s go play. Man, that ladder tastes funny.”

“So, you don’t need us chasing burglars around the house, Boss.”

“We’ll save you two for bigger stuff, okay?” Like lions and bears.”

“Oh my.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

June 17, 2020June 16, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

“Why are we so wide awake on a Wednesday, Lucy?”
“We want everyone to know the boss is over at Story Empire today.”
“You have a link?”
“Here it is. Keep smiling Little One.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again and last week we met Vlado who is Nikola Stanković’s bodyguard. He took our hero’s weapons and has escorted them into Stanković’s conference room. By the way, Stanković is one of the most notorious thugs that ever graduated from the Slobodan Milošević school of thugdom. Ooops here he comes. I hope he didn’t hear me.

“Gentlemen. Please have a seat.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stanković. I want to introduce a fellow police officer. This is Larry Dunfee, a detective from Boston. Also, with us is his associate Andrew Cummings.”

“Thank you for hosting, Lieutenant. I’m pleased to make your acquaintance. What brings two of Boston’s finest into my humble conference room?”

“Well, sir—”

“Excuse me, Larry, but let me outline some background for Mr. Stanković.”

“Oh, sorry, Lieutenant. Go ahead.”

“Larry and Andrew have not been treated very well since they arrived in Reno. They are wondering if you might know of anyone who has a desire to see them depart this vail of tears.”

“Vlad has told me of some attempts on your life, gentlemen. He gave me this information before your arrival. I have since had the opportunity to discuss this matter with some of my associates and can confirm that my organization holds no wish to see you harmed.”

“That is comforting for them to hear.”

“Yes, very comforting.”

“Thank you, Larry. We are also wondering if you may have heard who is behind the attempts on these two men.”

“I have heard some rumors, but first, I must apologize for being rude. I did not offer you, gentlemen, some refreshments. Would you care for some tea, coffee, or perhaps some of the finest vodka from my private stock?”

“I think speaking for my associates, we would love to taste some of your private stock.”

“Ah, excellent. I think you have made the best choice. Here is Vlad with a tray. Please take a glass. Vlad will leave the bottle and some fresh Beluga caviar from the Caspian Sea. You must try it as well. A toast. To new friends.”

“To new friends.”

“Whoa, this is not your average Stoli.”

“I see you know quality, Mr. Dunfee. I like that in a man.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stanković.”

“Now, try this caviar with just a little egg, onion, and a caper.”

“Truly outstanding, sir.”

“Lieutenant. I am impressed with your associates. Another drink and we can get down to business.”

“I think I could get used to this hospitality.”

“I do have an opening on my staff, Mr. Dunfee if you are interested.”

“Thank you, but I have a fulfilling job.”

“Yes, but there are those who want you removed. If you worked for me, all that would go away.”

“So, you know who is trying to ‘remove’ me as you say?”

“Well, as I said, I have heard rumors.”

“Care to share?”

“Does the name Lazar Popović mean anything to you?”

“No. I’ve not heard that name before.”

“His sister was married to Igor Sandusky.”

“I know that name for sure.”

“I thought you would. More vodka?”

“I think I need a clear head. Why is he out to kill us?”

“Maybe you are getting close to something he doesn’t want you to get close to. By the way, any enemy of Lazar Popović is a friend of mine. Na Zdorovie.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #267 by Keith Channing

June 16, 2020June 15, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #267

“My goodness. Come here m’love.”

“What is it, Reggie?”

“I’m just reviewing our doorbell video and didn’t realize it before.”

“Realize what?”

“The mountains.”

“What mountains?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“I hope I haven’t had a stroke cause I’m not understanding anything right now.”

“Here, look at this video.”

“Okay, what. am I seeing?”

“It’s not what you are seeing it’s what’s not there.”

“Tell me what’s not there?”

“Darling for heaven’s sake. The mountains.”

“The mountains.”

“Quit sounding like a magpie. There are no mountains.”

“I can see that.”

“Where did they go?”

“Huh?”

“Earth to Major Dan. Hello.”

“Okay, Reggie. You need to take a chill.”

“What do you mean ?”

“You keep talking about the mountains.”

“That is what I’m trying to say. The mountains are missing.”

“They are not missing, Reggie. We have no mountains.”

“But they were there this morning.”

“This morning?”

“I woke up and saw them.”

“Before you took that fall?”

“What fall?”

“You caught your heel on the stair. You said you were all right. I believed you. Now you are acting strange.”

“I don’t remember a fall, Blanch.”

“It was right after breakfast. Never mind that now. I think we have more to worry about than the fall Reggie.”

“What’s that?”

“What town is this?”

“Where we live?”

“Yes.”

“For heaven’s sake. It’s Zurich, Blanch. What are you doing?”

“Calling 9-1-1.”

“Why?”

“We are in the UK.”

“So, a little mistake.”

“My name is Beatrice.”

“A big mistake.”

Also if you haven’t, go check out Story Empire. There is an announcement over there that makes me very happy. Here is the link.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Dedication of the UNIVAC , The First Commercially Produced Electronic Digital Computer in 1951

June 15, 2020June 14, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

Top Ten Things not to do

This week marks the anniversary of the dedication in 1951 of UNIVAC, the first commercially produced electronic digital computer. The computer was designed and built for the Census Bureau. The engineers that developed the UNIVAC, J. Presper Eckert and John Mauchly sold their company to Remington Rand in 1950 before the launch. If you want to go and be part of the dedication, please take this list with you. We all know we must be cautious when time traveling to prevent any tears in the time continuum.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Dedication of the UNIVAC computer in 1951.

10 If you go, do not make comments regarding the size of the computer. If you do, at best, no one will pay attention to you. At worse, you are overheard by Eckert. (Yes, the machine is enormous, Lancelot. It weighs 16,000 pounds, but Eckert looks a little upset since this model is about a quarter the size of his last. I think you might apologize quickly.)

9 If you go, do not try to teach Tiny the WWF champ any programming language. If you do, at best he’ll think you are kidding. At worst, Tiny will realize that he is not teachable. (You have a bit of a problem, Landry. You see, Tiny has been ordered by the court to attend self-esteem group sessions. The last session got him to know that he was okay. Your attempts to explain basic programming just set him back four years. He’s looking for someone to blame. Point at John Mauchly quick.)

8 If you go, do not scoff when J Presper Eckert brags about the ability of the machine to perform 1905 instructions per second. If you do, at best, he will think you have hay fever. At worst, he’ll call upon you to explain your scoff. (You are on the spot now, X. See when you scoff knowing your iPhone can do 3.2 billion instructions per second you are going to have a tough time explaining your way out of this one. Maybe you should just admit to hay fever.)

7 If you go, do not make jokes about the heat from the 5000 vacuum tubes. If you do, at best, one or two may get the joke. At worst, John Mauchly will ask you to take your marshmallow stick and leave the premises. (Now you have made him angry, Langley. Of course, he doesn’t know that transistors would be available within five years. If he did, he would think you were a genius instead of ending up upside down in the alley.)

6 If you go, do not take your iPad. If you do, at best, people will think it is a clipboard. At worst, J Presper Eckert will spot you doing some calculations on it. (Don’t worry, Laochailan. Just hit the screen hide and show him your clipboard screen saver. He’ll never know.)

5 If you go, do not ask Eckert about punch card inputs. If you do, at best, he will be flattered since there are none. At worst, he ‘ll be insulted since he and Mauchly worked hard to make a digital electronic input system without the need for punch cards. (Now you have Eckert yelling at you, Laramie. He thinks you are a punch card fan and too dumb to recognize his achievement. Just tell him you were kidding and to put that chair back under the desk.)

4 If you go, do not ask to speak to someone from the computer science department. If you do, at best no one will be available for weeks. At worst, you will talk to a person who will speak a different language. (Not to worry Largo. Here is a handy reference for talking to computer science people. There are three columns and twenty rows of words. All you have to do is pick a word from one column, add it to another word in the next column, and finally tack it on to a third word. Put it all in a sentence, and you are good to go. For example. “Can you guys integrate bipolar terminals and publish a report on the results?” The guy will say he’ll look into it but is totally impressed.)

3 If you go, do not mention IBM around anyone in the room. If you do, at best, you will be near the coffee server. At worst, you’ll be taken as a spy. (Well, Larue, how does it feel sitting here with the eggshells?)

2 If you go, do not ask Eckert if the computer can predict presidential elections. If you do, at best, he’ll laugh. At worst, he’ll want to know where you got the information on his secret pet project. (Of course, Laszlo you didn’t read your history. You didn’t realize the UNIVAC surprised the world by predicting the outcome of the election of Dwight D. Eisenhower’s unexpected landslide victory in November of 1952. You now have a lot of explaining to do.)

1 If you go, do not ask Eckert and Mauchly why they sold their company to Remington Rand. If you do, at best, both will be talking to someone else and not hear you. At worst, they will help you out to the ally, which has been your home away from home, it seems. (The problem is Lathan these guys are terrific engineers but horrible businessmen. They were lucky to see before they went bankrupt.)

Views of the Neighborhood -Check on the Flora and Stuff

June 14, 2020June 13, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 86 Comments

I’m glad you could come on a little walk around the neighborhood. Today we are going to look at some blooms and any unusual things we come across. Glad you can join me.

Views of the Neighborhood