Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Deployment of Mobile Phones in 1947

June 17, 2019June 23, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Southwestern Bell inaugurates the first mobile phone service in St. Louis on this day in 1947. If you were there, it is hoped you took some precautions in order not to create a scene or more importantly a tear in the time continuum. For fun, let’s pretend we were there and use this list to stay out of trouble. Grab that time machine lever and set it for June 17th, 1947.

10 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not line up in front of the Bell office hoping to be the first to get a phone. If you do, at best you might get a nice Bellperson to talk to you. At worst, since the equipment weighs 75 pounds and takes up the entire trunk area, someone may actually hand you a set. ( Well now what are you going to do, Hazen. You don’t even have a car. This wasn’t how you expected it to turn out was it?)

9 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ to hold your equipment while to try to find a car. If you do, at best Tiny will just say no. At worst, Tiny who just finished his group therapy session on not knowing when to say no, will accept the equipment and then abruptly remember the lessons he learned. (Well, Heathcliff. Looks like you have a big mess where Tiny slammed your stuff to the sidewalk. Might be hard to replace. Oh-oh here comes a Bell technician and it looks like he is outraged.)

8 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not ask for unlimited talk and text. If you do, Bell will think you are joking. At worst, the Bell employee will call the supervisor since you are being viewed as a threat. (After all, Hedwig the service costs in today’s dollars $175 a month and about $4.46 for a call.)

7. At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not mention dialing a number to connect. If you do, at best you’ll confuse the person since there is only talk and listen buttons on the receiver. At worst, you’ll attract attention to the fact that you are not from around there. (You see, Heinroch, you need to wait until the line is clear and then the mobile operator will connect you. Only three people can make a call on the mobile system at one time in all of St. Louis. Is that the police headed this way?)

6 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not ask questions about the app store. If you do, at best the clerk will misunderstand you, and you’ll be wise enough not to repeat the question. At worst, the clerk will mistake you and direct you to the hardware store. (Of course, you now repeat yourself, Helios and the under the counter red button is pressed since the clerk thinks you are insisting upon an ax. The security force has been waiting to try out their new stun bomb devices. Oh, get up. You are only stunned.)

5 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not ask how many pixels in the camera. If you do, at best the clerk will go to the back to find out an answer and not return. At worst, your question will be handled by the senior tech rep on duty. (After four hours of confusing back and forth descriptions of what you each think is the question, Henley, you finally tell the rep you understand if nothing else but to get to visit the men’s room. Of course, the tech rep is delighted he could help you. He goes on in life to found the concept called customer service.)

4 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not drive around pretending you and on the phone to impress others. If you do, at best, no one is looking. At worst, most will have no idea what you are doing and will believe you work for the government. (So it was you who gave rise to the rumors of government agents in black cars searching for aliens, Henrich. Nice job.)

3 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not lecture the company on the evils of driving and talking. If you do, at best the person you are teaching won’t want to stop you. At worst, you will lecture someone who will yell and tell you to leave. ( So riddle me this, Henrique. What good is a mobile phone if you are not mobile? I think the guy who threw you out was yelling the same thing.)

2 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not try to pay your bill with your Visa credit card. If you do, at best the clerk will think you are funny. At worst, you will be arrested for trying to pass a counterfeit note. (You should have done your homework, Hephaestus. The first credit card designed for general use was Diner’s Club, and it was launched in 1950. Looks like the treasury department and the Central Intelligence Group have an interest in your card. The CIG was founded in January 1947 and is eager to find the foreign source of your Visa card.)

1 At the inauguration of mobile phone service, do not ask if the phone comes in colors. If you do, at best you’ll get a smile and a statement about basic black. At worst, you will give some tech an idea on which to act. (Since colored phones weren’t introduced until 1954 you may have created a tear in the time continuum as the tech rushes to develop a colored phone. Of course, it could be argued that if you hadn’t mentioned it, Herman colored phones never would have been designed.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Book Fair McKinney Texas

June 16, 2019June 16, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

Today’s neighborhood visit is in McKinney, Texas, which is a four and one half hour drive from my neighborhood. The book fair is sponsored by Texas Authors as part of the Texas Author Book Fair Network.

I decided to stay in an AirB@B in McKinney. It was in the country and very quiet. I loved the bench backrest. It was a tailgate.

This is the welcome tray. Made me feel at home.

Other authors and I got together for dinner. Award-winning author Jan Sikes and I got a chance to catch up. She and I are both members of Rave Reviews Book Club. It was great seeing her again.

The auditorium where the event was held.

I thought it would be interesting to take a shot of the room before it was set up. You can see it is a lovely room.

Here is the room almost filled.

Another shot of the floor

A shot of my booth. I had a great location next to the stage.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Social.”

June 15, 2019June 14, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “social.” Linda Hill says we should have fun with it, so I guess that’s what I will do. If you would like to have fun with it too just go to Linda’s blog and read how easy. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 15/19

“Oh look an ice cream social.”

“What the heck is that?”

“You go there and eat ice cream and be social with the folks who are there.”

“Social? What does “be social” mean?”

“I forgot you were raised in the city. Probably in a dumpster.”

“Now, now country boy. Let’s not let our jealousy show.”

“To be social is to interact with the gathered folks. Let them see what an exceptional being you are. ”

“Do I have to like them?”

“No, but you have to be cordial.”

“Another strange word.”

“You have to be nice.”

“I’m not sure I know how to be nice.”

“Well, for instance. You don’t cut in front of someone waiting for ice cream.”

“Ice cream is food, right?”

“Yes. Delicious food.”

“And there is a lot of it by appearances.”

“That is true.”

“So why cut in front of someone?”

“See you are beginning to understand being nice.”

“What I mean is. Why not just buzz around and then when the time is right just land on the side of the dish. You know the side opposite those two big eyes.”

“Well, that would be nice and kind.”

“Kind? How so.”

“You know how humans react to us when we land on their food?”

“Yeah, you would think there was something wrong with walking around in cow dung all day.”

So your method would get you the ice cream, you’d be kind, and social all in one movement.”

“And avoid that fast-moving swatter too.”

“A bonus. You have learned well cricket.”

“Excuse me the last I looked I’m a fly.”

“Matter of speech. You never see Kung Fu?”

“Every time I get near a TV that swatter thingy follows me so no thanks.”

“Okay you lead, and I’ll follow.”

“This should be fun.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

June 14, 2019June 13, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy — “Hey what are you two doing?”
“It’s Friday Dad. We are waiting for the UPS guy.”
“Be kind to him.”
“Yes, Dad.”

Friday is here. I know we were all wishing Wednesday was Friday, but it was only a false alarm. The rain here is scheduled to stop for the next three days. That is a good thing. We went through some pretty stiff storms on Sunday, but even with a tornado warning, everything is fine. There is no going into the back yard, though. The landscape architect went back there on Wednesday, and I’m not sure she came out. Her car is gone, so I have to assume the best. We did receive the information that gutters need to be put up before the landscape work begins. Oh, joy another delay.

I’m heading to McKinney, Texas this weekend. There is a book fair there, and I want to meet the reading public. It is a 41/2 hour drive. So I’ll be pretty much out of pocket Friday and Saturday. Please excuse me if I miss a visit or comment. Know I’ll be shaking the bushes and begging folks to buy my books.

I’ll be having dinner with some Texas authors on Friday night, so that will be fun. Big thanks to Jan Sikes for setting it up. I’ll also give you a photo recap of the fair on Sunday.

Todays JohnKu talks about putting yourself out there. I hope you all have a great weekend.

There’s always a time,

To meet and greet your readers. . .

You have to seek it.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy’s Day Off

June 13, 2019June 12, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

“Hey, Twiggy. What’s up?

“It is Lucy’s day off, and she won’t play with me.”

“Maybe I can talk to her.”

“Oh, Dad, that would be swell.”

“So, Lucy. I know it’s your day off but how about a game with Twiggy?”

“Well, you see Boss. A day off means not playing with Twiggy.”

“Maybe a quick toss with cow?”

“Nope. Will only lead to a chase scene.”

“Look, Chippie. You love Chippie.”

“On any other day, sure.”

“Lucy. Just one game of hedgehog?”

“Sorry, little one. I have a nap scheduled.”

“You can chase me with fox.”

“You can do that with the boss.”

“Let’s take ears for a spin.”

“You go right ahead.”

“You are a poop. You know that?”

“I’ve been told that, Little Potato.”

“So none of these, Lucy?”

“Gee, boss. It’s tempting, but I have to pass.”

“One last chance. How about gotcha cake?”

“It’s playing my song, but I’m late for my nap.”

“Well, Twiggy. What can I tell you? Lucy has a day off which we have to respect.”

“I have to wonder who made up a day off for a dog? Thanks for trying anyway.”

“Wany to play fetch?”

“No, thanks. I’ll think I’ll take a day off too.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

June 12, 2019June 11, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we got a little hint of Larry’s fears regarding the possible red tape that might be involved with the local police. It didn’t take long for the sergeant to ask questions regarding who shot first. So Larry is off to the hospital to have his wound attended to, and Andrew is driving to meet him there. Let’s go into the ER where Larry is waiting for an attendant. Andrew was pretty quick in getting there as well.

“you pick up my ID and gun?”

“The sergeant kept the gun. I asked him, ‘why.’ And all I got was some mumbled thing about evidence. Here’s your ID.”

“Damn, Andrew. I knew these locals were going to be pissed about shooting some of their constituents.”

“Maybe those thugs were from out of town.”

“Yeah, let’s hope so.”

“Anyone see you yet?”

“One of the nurses says the Doc will be here shortly.”

“You have stopped bleeding, which is good.”

“You better not be caught looking at my wound. They might charge you with practicing medicine without a license in this state.”

“That’s funny. Who’s this guy coming up the hall?”

“A suit? Not the doctor, I’m sure. Looks like someone from the DA’s office.”

“Excuse me, gentlemen. Would one of you be Larry Dunfee?”

“Yeah, that’s me. The one with the bullet hole in the shoulder.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Well, I have been better, Mr. uh. I don’t believe I got your name.”

“My apologies. Spenser Taggett, Assistant District Attorney for Reno. Here’s my card.”

“Nice to meet you. What can I do for you?”

“I was contacted by the Reno police and decided I would look into this case myself. You know professional courtesy.”

“I can appreciate that, thank you. By ‘case,’ I wonder what you mean?”

“Well, Mr. Dunfee. Two of Reno’s citizens have been murdered, and the police believe you are the shooter. We need to do an investigation to determine if your lethal force was justified.”

“Reno huh. These guys weren’t from out of town?”

“We have yet to determine their specific living arrangements. They both hold Nevada driver’s licenses with a Reno address.”

“Same address?”

“Yes, why?”

“I’ll bet the licenses are counterfeit.”

“Yeah worth looking in to.”

“Have you contacted the chief in Boston?”

“No, not yet. I wanted to get some information from you first.”

“Okay. What do you need?”

“Tell me why you shot those guys?”

“They were trying to kill Andrew and me.”

“How do you know?”

“This wound gave me a heads up.”

“You sure it was the same guys trying to kill you?”

“What do you mean?”

“The report says you were shot on the highway and then got down to the access road. How were you sure the guys were the same?”

“The SUV was the same and coming at us like a freight train.”

“We do know that these guys work for a construction contracting company with no priors or arrest record.”

“You check on the owner of the company?”

“Yes. The SUV is registered to Worldwide Enterprises.”

“Check into who owns the company. I’ll bet it doesn’t exist.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I believe these were guns for hire, and the construction company thing is a front.”

“Interesting. Okay, I’ll take that under advisement.”

“You gonna charge me?”

“Not at this time, Mr. Dunfee. If I get additional information that may change. For now, I’m going to ask you to stay in the neighborhood. I’m listing this as possible self-defense, but if I have reason to change it, I don’t want to try and find you.”

“How long do you think?”

“A week ought to do it. “

“Can we go to South Lake Tahoe?”

“Yes. I would appreciate a call with your temporary location and check-in once a day.”

“No problem. How about my weapon.”

“We would like to keep it for you until you are completely cleared.”

“Fair enough.”

“Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Dunfee. Your attitude goes a long way in making me want to believe your story.”

“Thank you, Mr. Taggett. I think you’ll find my story to be the truth.”

“I must admit the bullet wound does go a long way. What does the doctor say?”

“Haven’t seen him yet.”

“I’m going to need a copy of his report just so you know. He’s going to ask you to sign a waiver for that.”

“No problem.”

“Okay, then. I hope you heal fast. We’ll be in touch.”

“Want my phone number.”

“I have it from the police report.”

“Okay, then. I look forward to your final decision.”

“Goodbye, Mr. Dunfee.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #221 by Keith Channing

June 11, 2019June 11, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Merciful heaven, Mary. When was the last time we picked salad greens?”

“It’s been a while. Just see if you can find some young leaves.”

“Young leaves?”

“Yes look under the plant. Those top leaves are way too big.”

“Okay, but I’m not holding my breath.”

“Yes, please breathe. Makes the work go easier.”

“Yeah, pretty funny. Whoa, what’s that?”

“What?”

“I’m not sure. It looked like a dog with big ears.”

“Probably a bunny.”

“A bunny? I thought bunnies were small and furry.”

“What do you mean?”

“This was big and hairy.”

“Oh, stop. You said you would help me with the harvest. We have a lot to go before nightfall. These boxes won’t fill themselves.”

“I’m not kidding. This guy was huge. He had red eyes too.”

“Please. Just keep picking. Whatever it is it is more afraid of you than you are of it.”

“It must be plenty scared then. Ow.”

“What now?”

“He bit my behind.”

“I’m sure. No matter what you say I’m not going to stop the picking is that clear?”

“Crystal. Can I go get my gun?”

“No, you may not. You have fallen behind with your foolishness. Keep picking.”

“I heard a snarl.”

“Probably your deviated septum.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“Fine. Go get your gun but I swear you are more of a danger to yourself then that animal.”

“I wish I could believe you. I’ll be right back.”

“I have to wonder about him.”

“Okay, I’m back, Mary. Mary?”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at Janis Joplin’s First Live Concert in 1966

June 10, 2019June 9, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

Since today is the 53rd anniversary of Janis Joplin’s first live concert held in the Avalon Ballroom in San Francisco, I thought it would be fun to go there. Of course, we need a list of things not to do to make sure we don’t make a mistake that could cause trouble later. Time travel can be tricky, so every precaution taken is worth the time and trouble. I hope you enjoy the list and if you should happen to end up at the concert, I hope you stay out of trouble.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at Janis Joplin’s First Live Concert in 1966

10 If you go to the concert, do not accept little squares of litmus paper from someone named Tim Leary. If you do, at best, he’ll give you a placebo. At worst, you’ll end up on the ride of a lifetime. (Have you not read of the LSD experiments, Hovsep? I hope you enjoy the view of Jupiter from way up there.)

9 If you go to the concert, do not attempt to convince Tiny the WWF champ that you are a good friend of Janis and deserve a visit backstage. If you do, at best Tiny has not met Tim Leary yet. At worst, he and Tim have been conducting side experiments on the treatment of Tiny’s aggressive behavior. (Whelp. Another experiment gone off the rails, Hrimfaxi. Looks like Tiny thinks you are a character from a Godzilla movie and intends to help you through that brick wall. This may hurt so get ready to call 911. Oh, sorry there is no 911 in 1966.)

8 If you go to the concert, do not start waving your cell phone in time to the music. If you do, at best those around you will be too preoccupied to notice. At worst, the security team made up of the Oakland Chapter of the Hells Angels will help you out. (It looks like none of these guys care about the phone, Hrut. They just enjoy pounding folks and throwing them out the back door. They thought your phone was a flash camera and delighted in seeing you airborne. Yeah, that landing could be rough.)

7 If you go to the concert, do not yell out a request for “Me and Bobby McGee.” If you do, at best no one will have heard of it. At worst, you’ll give your self away as a time traveler since the song by Janis was released in 1971. (Here comes the Hells Angels again, Hud. This time just lay back, and maybe they will crowd surf you to the exit.)

6 If you go to the concert, do not inhale the smoke that is all around you. If you do, at best it will be a weakened batch of inferior weed. At worst, you will be on the breathing end of some Maui Wowie, and you can see the lights dimming quickly. (No there are no munchies available, Hughson. You’ll just have to deal with the side effects. No, that person is not talking about you. Paranoia is another side effect.)

5 If you go to the concert, do not drink from that bottle of Southern Comfort being passed around. If you do, at best it is Southern Comfort, Janis’ favorite drink. At worst it is some homemade concoction that is guaranteed to make you lose all inhibitions. (Okay, Hugues you need to put your pants back on. No one is interested in your Sponge Bob SquarePants boxers. They don’t even know Sponge Bob since the premiere of the show was in 1999.)

4 If you go to the concert, do not get overly excited to see the Grateful Dead sitting in for a set. If you do, at best people will think you are a rabid fan. At worst, you will raise some suspicions since the band is a regular feature at the Avalon. (Be sure and not spill the beans about how popular they will become, Hula. You’ll only attract the Angels again.)

3 If you go to the concert, do not try and sing along with Janis. If you do, at best, you will be ignored. At worst, those around you will beg you to stop and then call security. (It was not so much you sang off-key Hyacinth. it was the fingernails on the chalkboard tone that got to them.)

2 If you go to the concert, do not decide to visit in the moshpit. If you do, at best everyone is smaller than you. At worst, before you know it, you will be jumping up and down in time with everyone hoping to get a breath. (If only you had had the list with you. Hyman. You could have avoided all this. You say you might faint? Oh I wouldn’t do that if I were you.)

1 If you go to the concert, do not forget to bring back a program. If you do, at best you’ll simply forget what went on. At worst, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to have a rare souvenir of that one-time event. (Not to mention the possibility of selling it on E-Bay, Hawiovi. Oh well. Easy come, easy go.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Country Clubs

June 9, 2019June 8, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

This week I thought it would be fun to go and visit the Country Clubs that are in Lakeway. Not that I would join any, but I thought it would be fun to go and see what they looked like.

The first is named Yupon. Here is a shot of a fairway with some golf carts on it.

This is the outdoor eating and drinking area. The practice tees are in the background.

This is a shot of the clubhouse lounge. (A step back to the ’60s for sure.)

Here is the pro shop.

The next is Flintrock Falls. Unfortunately, I was stopped at the gate and couldn’t enter. W. C. Fields comment came to mind. “If a club would have me as a member, it’s not worth joining.” Maybe this one is worth joining.

The next is The Hills of Lakeway. This is a shot of the putting green.

This is a photo of the entrance.

Looks like a wedding later.

A shot of the bar and casual dining area

The fifteenth tee.

This water lies between the 18th fairway and the green. I imagine there are a ton of waterlogged balls in there.

The 18th green.

The 18th Green looking back toward that water.

I hope you enjoyed the little trip.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Point”

June 8, 2019June 7, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. I have to quote Linda Hill exactly on this week’s prompt. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “open book, point, write.” Pick up the closest book to you when you sit down to write your post. Close your eyes, open the book, and place your finger on the page. Whatever word or phrase your finger lands on, write about it. Enjoy!” I have to run off and find a book.

So there you have it. If you would like to join in visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 8/19

To prove my intent here is a photo of the exercise.

“What was that whole point to the book thing you just did?”

“Part of a prompt. Linda made me do it.”

“And if she said to jump off a cliff.”

“Long way down. It would make a good story, though.”

“So what are you going to do with the word Cubans?”

“I could have cheated and said I hit on Cubans from Miami.”

“But knowing you, that is not possible.”

“So I could talk about cigars.”

“Are they legal yet?”

“You can bring them in for personal use, but they are not available in the US.”

“So a story about running cigars might not be that interesting.”

“Yeah. I could also talk about a sandwich.”

“Oh. A good Cuban sandwich can’t be beat.”

“But how much can you say about a sandwich.”

“How about rum.”

“How about ho-hum.”

“Good point. Maybe a discussion about the island itself.”

“Could offer some interest. You know Trump just put the kibosh on travel there.”

“Yeah he did kill the cruise line business there, but there are still a few other ways.”

“Maybe you should talk about them.”

“Well, there are eleven categories still allowed. Most everyone would fit the one that calls for support of the Cuban people.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to promise to stick to people-oriented events and not support the government or military events.”

“That seems easy.”

“It remains to be seen. Don’t forget cruise lines could deliver thousands of folks to the island at one time. Now all those folks will have to find there own way there.”

“A swim is not in the cards I suppose.”

“Ninety miles? You tell me.”

“What else could you discuss?”

“Music?”

“You have a lot of explaining to do, Lucy.”

“Oh, Ricky. Can you say Copacabana?”