Tag: Our Justice

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #182 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #182

Camouflage by John W. Howell © 2018

“Sush, someones coming.”

“I don’t hear anyone.”

“I have this super sense of hearing. Trust me. Stop chewing that gum.”

“How did you know I had gum in my mouth. I barely chewed it.”

“I could hear your molars coming together. If I can hear them so can they.”

“Okay, then. I’ll spit it out.”

“No don’t. The sound of you spitting can carry for miles.”

“For you maybe. How many people do you think have your hearing sensitivity.”

“You want to take a chance there is one?”

“You make a good point. I’ll not chew.”

“Thank you very much. Can you hold your breath?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. Now you are going too far.”

“Sush. Your blabbing is going to get us killed.”

“You really think those folks are going to kill us?”

“Do you know what they do to others like us?”

“No, I can’t say I do.”

“I have heard sometimes they cut off your skin while you are alive.”

“My God. That is horrible.”

“Also they put you in hot water after cutting you in half.”

“In half. That’s barbaric.”

“One guy told me, and he swears it’s true that he witnessed a group being drawn and quartered.”

“Okay, I’ll stop breathing. How close are they?”

“I can hear their young ones screaming as they run ahead.”

“Why do they do that?”

“I don’t know I think they use their young to draw fire in case of an ambush.”

“So how close?”

“A few hundred feet. They are also carrying baskets.”

“Baskets what the hell for?”

“Prisoners.  Those they don’t kill and eat immediately they take as prisoners to torture and kill later.”

“I think I’m going to cry.”

“They could miss us if we keep quiet. Who knows, they may be more into those poor apples in the next forest. If so we will be spared.”

“Where are they now?”

“I think they are going for the apples.”

“Thank God. We pears live another day.”

“Yeah, they are hitting the apples. I can hear them screaming. We dodged the bullet today. Long live the pears.”

“Long live the pears.”

“Sush. Whisper. The hairless apes could still find us.”

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are in a Dentist’s Chair

~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

 

 

Top Ten Things not to doThe inspiration for this list was a routine visit to the dentist. Like all dentist offices, I could hear what was going on in several offices around me.  I heard some funny things, and also I made up some of my own. I hope you enjoy this list

10 If you are in a dentist’s chair, do not try to answer the dentist’s questions while their hand is in your mouth. If you do, at best your answer will be garbled and not understood. At worst, the dentist may come up missing a tool. (Yes, it is strange the dentist asks a question while you are incapable of speech, Elijah. Try to resist since that lost tool may be with you for a long time.)

9 If you are in a dentist’s chair, do not listen to Tiny the WWF champ whimper in the next room. If you do, at best it may unnerve you. At worst, Tiny may catch sight of you as he leaves and will want to make sure you won’t gossip about his lack of fortitude. (That shadow passing over you as you go from the dentist office, Evan, is Tiny coming up from behind. Don’t think. Just drop and roll.)

8 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not ask about the cost of a procedure while it is underway. If you do, at best you won’t like the answer. At worst, the dentist may decide to give you a discount provided you can endure the procedure with no painkiller. ( You have to wonder, Ezekiel, why he keeps asking, “Is it safe?” from the movie Marathon Man. Yes that is you making all that noise.)

7  If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not try to read your chart when the Dentist leaves. If you do, at best you won’t understand a thing. At worst, the hygienist will walk in just as you are leaning over backward with the chart in your hands. (How do you explain yourself, Edgar? You could have just asked to see your chart.)

6 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not think about the Italian sub you had for lunch. If you do, at best you won’t open your mouth. At worst, you will try to explain your faux pas all while the hygienist continues to spray mouthwash each time you open your mouth. (You wish the “ew” sound were as a result of a different source huh, Elliott?)

5 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not fool around with the controls. If you do, at best you won’t get wet. At worst you will cause possible complications from the polishing tool function being replaced by a drilling tool function. (That hole in your front tooth is charming, Emmett. Maybe you can get a diamond to fit in there.)

4 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not think the dentist will be right in to see you. If you do, at best your waiting time will seem even longer. At worst, you fell asleep and drooled all over that lovely napkin under your chin. (How do you explain the wet spot to the hygienist, Edwin? Try your Quasimodo impersonation. “Here. Take whistle. Only thing I hear. Blow if in trouble.” They will love it.)

3 If you are in the dentist chair, do not remind yourself about that 32-ounce Big Gulp soda you finished on the way over here. If you do, at best you will forgive yourself for not making a restroom stop. At worst, the dental staff will think you are a crack addict given the amount of twitching and jumping you go through as you try to manage the specter of an accident. (Why is that little voice in your head still talking about Niagara Falls, Easton? Pretty self-defeating I would say.)

2 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not acknowledge the rumbling inside of you. If you do, at best your explanation of the sour kraut and corned beef sandwich will fall on unsympathetic ears. At worst, you may give your body permission to vent off the building pressure. (Nothing pleases people more in a closed room, Edmund.)

1 If you are in the dentist’s chair, do not ask to hold a teddy bear before the procedure. If you do, at best the staff will think you are joking. At worst, you will get the bear and a chart notation to watch for an emotional break in the future. (Ever wonder why everyone talks in a whisper when you visit the office, Ezequiel?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Fourth of July Parade

~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

Our neighborhood has a Fourth of July Day day parade. The neighbors decorate, wagons, bikes, and golf carts and have a parade.

The parade was led by four National Guardsmen who volunteered to be with us on the Fourth

Followed by a decorated cart and bicycle.

More bikes and a blue golf cart.

A green cart and a tricycle and a baby tram.

A wagon, a white cart, and an orange bicycle.

After the parade, everyone gathered at the organizer’s house for watermelon and ice cream.

The parade wasn’t big but packed an enjoyment punch. Thanks for coming along.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Sup.”

~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

Stream of Consciousness

 

t is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is, “sup.” Linda Hill advises that we can use it as part of a word or any other way we want. If you would like to join in and try your hand at these prompts, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-7-18/

Sup by John W. Howell © 2018

“Sup bra?”

“What are you doing?”

“Whatchew mean?”

“Talking like a hip-hop vocal group member.”

“I’m just tryin’ to expand my cultural knowledge. Don’t get all up in my grill.”

“Stop it.”

“All righty then.”

“Cut the Pet Detective bit as well.”

“Man you are no fun. You act like my supervisor at work.”

“Please don’t tell me you were pulling some of your antics with your boss.”

“I did my famous imitation of Steve Reeves.”

“Superman? Do you know how superficial that kind of thing looks?”

“Naw, he loved it.”

“How do you know?”

“I got an award as the Most Supercilious Employee of the Week.”

“Do you have any idea what supercilious means?”

“Well, any word that has “super” in it can’t be all bad.”

“Kill the W.C.Fields impersonation and listen to me.”

“Of all the gin joints in this world you had to step into mine.”

“Thanks, Bogy. Would it help to know that supercilious means thinking you are superior to everyone?”

“Well, maybe as Superman I was.”

“Your boss was pointing out your superficiality with a word he was pretty sure you wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t think he would do that to Superman.”

“Would you please come back to reality.”

“Sure Doc.”

“Forget Bugs.”

“Sufferin’ succotash.”

“Drop Daffy.”

“T-T-That’s all folks.”

“You’ll be superb at the unemployment office.”

 

Quest of the Brokenhearted – New Book by Charles E. Yallowitz – On Sale for $0.99 for the Month of July

~ John W. Howell ~ 23 Comments

A battered soul faces a city of monsters in
Quest of the Brokenhearted!

Cover Art by Sean Harrington

As Windemere moves forward, a broken spirit falls into the shadows.

Two years have passed since Luke Callindor was lost during the champions’ battle against Baron Kernaghan. Many mourn the loss, but none have been hurt more than the fiancée he left behind, Kira Grasdon. Plagued by grief and determined to prove he is alive, she has sacrificed her business, her reputation, and her hope. Surviving on the streets of Gaia, she has become an emotional husk of her former self. It is only by chance that Kira crosses paths with an old friend and learns of a path, which will either end her suffering or revive her shattered soul. As the rumors state, hundreds of adventurers have flocked to Lacarsis and none have returned.

Will Kira meet her death in the City of Evil or will she thrive among the monsters?

*****

Book Excerpt: The Farm

The blast of warm air hits and swirls around the area to make all those in metal armor feel like they are about to faint. As the wind billows out, it carries the fog away to reveal broken fences and an abandoned farmhouse. The porch is partially collapsed with a swing sitting in the mud, its chains still connected to the fallen roof. The front door is closed, but a large hole is in the middle as if something tried to punch its way inside. Rusty pots and tools are scattered about the ground, some of them having been plunged into the ground. Not far away is a large barn, which shows no sign of damage beyond peeling paint and cobwebs dangling from the eaves. A crooked weathervane sits above the hay loft, the bat-shaped object spinning wildly even though the wind has died. Wilted crops stand in the fields among those that have already rotted into mush. Piles of hay dot the landscape, each one having turned black and become surrounded by swarms of thumb-sized flies. When the last of the fog clears, the entire area is bathed in a sickly orange light that causes the adventurers’ skin to crawl.

An animal call erupts from a nearby pasture, the grass a light brown and showing signs of being repeatedly trampled. In response, the sounds of chickens drift from the farmhouse and they are soon joined by other familiar noises. The ear-wrenching symphony continues to grow as the adventurers spread out across the road and into the fields. Most are focused on the farmhouse door, so they are caught off-guard when the attack begins. Zombified pigs, horses, goats, and sheep burst out of the barn to charge the nearest warriors. With acidic foam flying from their mouths, the undead livestock crash into the armored figures and rip into whatever flesh they can reach. The goats and pigs cause the most damage, their teeth breaking through metal and bone while the horses do more harm with their hooves. Flapping wings from the farmhouse are a slight warning before a flock of chickens and ducks explode from the windows. Lacking teeth, they have a harder time killing their prey, who swing wildly and blindly cast spells that miss half of the time. Chaos is consuming the crowd when the first animal call erupts from the right and four knights are sent hurtling through the air. Flesh dangling from its horns and blood splattered across its rotting face, the zombified bull barrels into the adventurers. The grunting beast tramples everything in its path as it crashes into one of the fields and sends a broken cart rolling away. Turning around, the animal ignores the arrows that stick into its hindquarters and charges back into the crowd.

While the others try to retreat, Kira swings her sickle at the bull’s side and gets the weapon stuck between the exposed ribs. She holds on while she is dragged and uses the blunt end to swat chickens out of the air. As she passes a stallion, she swings her kusari-gama to get the chain wrapped around its hind legs. With the horse galloping away from the bull, Kira plants her feet and pulls hard on her weapon. Her strength combined with that of the zombified steed allows her to shatter the larger animal’s ribs. Spinning around, she whips the sickle into the side of the stallion’s head and uncoils the chain as it crashes to the ground. Without turning back, the adventurer dives to the side and narrowly avoids getting gored by the bull. The moment she hits the ground, she pounces to grab the jagged hole in its body and pulls herself close enough to punch inside with the blunt end of her weapon. Kira continues striking the rotting heart until the confused animal rears back and exposes its stomach for a pair of spearmen to impale it. They are unable to support its weight and are promptly crushed while the young woman flips up to slam her sickle into the base of its skull. Hanging onto the bucking bull, she violently twists the blade until the zombie finally falls over and rapid decays. The others are about to cheer when the call of another bull bursts from the pasture.

“They just keep coming,” Kira mutters as she watches more animals pour out of the buildings.

Grab your copy on Amazon for 99 cents throughout the month of July!

*****

Interested in more Windemere? Then don’t forget to check out Charles E. Yallowitz’s first series: Legends of Windemere

All Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Or more interested vampires? Then check out War of Nytefall: Loyalty:

Cover Art by Alison Hunt

About the Author:

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

LET THE TOURNAMENT OF LACARSIS BEGIN!

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

TGIF

 

Friday is here, and the Fourth of July is history. It is good to celebrate the birth of our country. This year I was quite surprised that there were no disruptive fireworks anywhere near our house. This has to be a first.  Even though the possession of fireworks is against the law in our town, outsiders still have come in and littered the beach with burned out rockets. Maybe since we called the police as did several neighbors when last week some yahoo was setting off what sounded like dynamite they decided to patrol our area. Whatever happened it was a blessing. This brings us to today’s JohnKu. It talks about peace.

Peace by John W. Howell © 2108

Compared to the noise,

That always disturbed our sleep . . .

The silence was blessed.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Fourth of July – With Twiggy, Lucy, and Bailey

~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

“Hey, you guys. Come to see this.”

“What are we looking at, Little Stuff?”

“That Red, White, and Blue thing.”

“That’s our flag. Humans call it the Star Spangled Banner.”

“Can I hold it? Or better yet, get my mouth on it?”

“No Twiggy. This flag represents the land of the free. It is not for teething.”

“I do love how it smells though. So much like freedom.”

“I have one that is my size, Lucy. I know all about freedom cause I was born in freedom.”

“I know Little Stuff. Your mom was rescued from a breeder and here you are.”

Twiggy, Lucy, and Bailey

You guys want to take the flag.”

“No little stuff. This is your first Fourth of July so you keep it.”

“Good idea Bailey. In fact, you ought to run with your flag, Twiggy.”

Twiggy

“Okay, here I go.”

“Run, Twiggy, run.”

“You go, girl. Celebrate your freedom.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #181 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The photo.

Kreative Kue #181

Pop Quiz by John W. Howell © 2018

“Now class. Since we all have been off for a few days, I think it is time for a pop quiz.”

“Aw teacher.”

“You have something to say, Johnnie?”

“Well, you know how hard it is to remember stuff over vacation. I think everything I learned fell out of me at the beach.”

“This is precisely why a pop quiz is in order. It would show what we need to learn again if we forgot.”

“But, teacher. What good does all this stuff do?”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that, Johnny. Just before vacation, you put your knowledge to excellent use.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Oh come on. You don’t recall standing at the top of the stairs encouraging the rest of the class to follow you.”

“I recall that, but don’t see how learning fit it.”

“Didn’t you learn to navigate the stairway?”

“Yes but—”

“And didn’t you learn to measure your pace so you could last?”

“I did but—”

“When you reached the top what did you do?”

“Thanked you for helping me get there.”

“Exactly. So about that pop quiz?”

“Okay teacher. I guess it won’t hurt.”

“Thank you, Johnny. Alright, class. For today’s pop quiz we are going to run to the top of the stairway. The last one up gets a failing grade.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Have Fallen Behind on Social Media

~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

 

 

The inspiration for this list came from Linda Leinen who is the author of the terrific blog Task at Hand. 

We were commenting on one of my Top Ten posts, and she wondered, “have you ever done a Top Ten Things To Do for people who are trying to get caught up online?” I indicated that I could do the reciprocal of that thought and here it is today. Thanks, Linda for the question.

Linda has had amazing experiences, and a visit to her blog will be rewarding.

Here is the list. (Anyone who might think this list is serious please be advised, it is a broad satire statement regarding our phobic belief that social media is indispensable)

10 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not make up an excuse like, “I have been so busy being successful with my new bestseller, I just haven’t had time for you little people.” If you do, at best you’ll lose a few followers. At worst, you might wake up to the sound of crickets on all your social media accounts. (Where did all those followers go Ermanno?)

9 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not panic and accept a friend request from just anyone. If you do, at best you may have a long list of people you don’t know. At worst, you might accept a friend request from Tiny the WWF champ just after his online romance fell apart. (You gotta hope the one hundred direct messages from Tiny is just a fluke for today, Ervin. Heaven knows you don’t want to unfriend him.Ever.)

8 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not think by posting more you will be back sooner. If you do, at best it will just make the problem more intense. At worst, now your followers will think you are having some kind of psychological break and will hit unfollow faster than a duck on a June bug. (Never thought more is less did you, Esbjorn?)

7 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not just delete all the comments to which you are unable to respond. If you do, at best some will not notice. At worst, a large group of followers will think you passed away and will start a go fund me campaign for a memorial. (That is if you are well-liked, Eskil. More than likely there will be a host of unfollows)

6 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not check yourself into a treatment center. If you do, at best you’ll be discharged immediately as a nothing wrong here person. At worst, you’ll inadvertently make up some mental problem which will take ten weeks of group therapy before you are set free. (That will teach you to run away from your problems, Este. Now what?)

5 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not run away to a cabin in the woods. If you do, at best you’ll aggravate the bears. At worst, while you are off the grid, a new social media form will be invented and when you return you will be hopelessly behind this one as well. (Ever hear of Moore’s Law, Eumaeus. You are now in the dark ages.)

4 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not attempt to compensate by eating ice cream. If you do, at best the time spent eating gets you further back. At worst, your ice cream bill and your extra pounds go up in equal proportions. (It doesn’t help to eat ice cream while you are on a stationary bike, Eurypylus.)

3 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not call the suicide hotline. If you do, at best they will hang up. At worst, you’ll get someone who has a difficult time understanding the severe nature of your angst and will start cracking jokes about your condition. (You have to admit, Eustis. Your problem is pretty minor compared to that of other folks.)

2 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not place a 911 call for help. If you do, at best the line will be busy. At worst, the officers dispatched to your house will hand you a citation for a false emergency. (Of course, Everard there could be a minor miracle where one of the officers is behind in social media as well. If so you are saved.)

1 If you have fallen behind on social media, do not think all those busy folks who stay current with you are going to simply ignore your faux pas. If you do, at best you will experience the sound of silence. At worst, you will have to curry forgiveness by inventing an excuse that is ironclad. (The only reason that is not debatable as to its harmful interference with your social media obligations is to tell everyone you are recovering from brain surgery. Of course, Evyn you can’t fall behind again.)