Thursday – A Little Personal – Tempeste Gives a Demonstration

“Hey, Twiggy. I’ve been watching some WWF wrestling.”

“Okay. It is always good to get some experience.”

“Yeah, but I need to put what I’ve learned into practice.”

“Don’t tell me you have found someone to practice with?”

“Not really. I thought I would be able to practice with you.”

“Yeah, I was being facetious. Of course, you want to practice with me.”

“What does facetious mean.? Does that mean yes?”

“It means I was  more or less kidding you.”

“Oh please, practice with me.”

“Dear Lord, I know I will regret this. Okay, I will.”

You’re the best. The first is the neck hold.”

“Yeah, I can hardly move.”

“Then there is the step-over-head grip.”

“Your foot is in my eye.”

Oh sorry. How’s this half-body slam treating you?”

“I’m powerless.”

“Now the full-body slam. I’ve got you pinned.”

“Yes, you do. One…Two. ..three.”

“What does one, two, three mean?”

“You pinned me, and you won.”

“Where you going?”

“I need to go to the showers and shake off my defeat.”

“There is always a rematch.”

“I’m sure of that.”

Tuesday – Anything possible – Prompt – Kreative Kue #426

In Keith’s words:

” Using this image ( below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before the end of the week. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

A link to Keith’s post: https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2024/04/01/kreative-kue-426/

Fulfillment by John W. Howell © 2024

“Thank you for your trust in Marks and Spencer. How may I help you?”

“Yes. I believe I have received the wrong shipment.”

“I can certainly help with that. May I have your name?”

“Channing. Keith Channing.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Channing. Are you calling about your last order?”

“I most certainly am.”

“Very well, sir. Can you tell me the problem?”

“I am able to, yes.”

“Quite. Is there something wrong with the order?”

“Well, if you consider that I didn’t order a Jack Russel Terrier, I would think so.”

“You say there was a Jack Russel Terrier in your order?”

“That is all that’s in my order.”

“I see you ordered a number of other things. Are you saying none of them are in the parcel?”

“That is what I’m saying.”

“Oh, I do apologize. It looks like you received someone else’s order.”

“Since when does Marks and Spencer send live animals in their shipments?”

“Excuse me? Did you say live animals?”

“Yes, he is sitting looking at me.”

“I thought you were talking about a stuffed toy.”

“No, it is a dog. A live dog.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but Marks and Spencer does not traffic in live animals.”

“How did it get into one of your shipments then?”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I just can’t say.”

“What do you mean ‘you can’t say?'”

“I mean, I have no idea how a live dog got into a Marks and Spencer shipment.”

“So what can we do?”

“As far as Marks and Spencer is concerned, we don’t think it is our problem.”

“Do you have a supervisor?”

“Yes, I do. His name is Mr.Trevor.”

“May I speak to him?”

“I’m sorry, but he is out of the country at this time.”

“Of course he is.”

“Shall I have him call you when he returns?”

“When does he return?”

“By Christmas time, I expect.”

“Nine months from now?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do I do with Mr. Trevor’s dog in the meantime?”

“I would give it something to eat and let it go outside.”

“I can see where this is going.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

“No.”

“Before you hang up, there is a brief survey at the end of the call. Please be advised that a mark less than five will be looked upon by management as unsatisfied. Can I count on you to rate this call as a five?”

“I will ask Mr. Trevor’s dog about that. Good day.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Ask a Genius

 

 

This post was published on February 5, 2018. I think it is still current since there are many geniuses walking around.

* * *

I was inspired to write this post after pondering a discussion with a brilliant person. I wondered what it would be like to be that smart. One thing led to another, and the list was born.

Top Ten Things Not to Ask a Genius

10 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask them how it feels to be so smart. If you do, at best, you’ll get a laugh. At worst, you’ll be forcibly engaged in a Socratic analysis of what “smart” means. (Getting tired after a couple of hours, are you, Dante?)

9 If you are talking to a genius, do not mention the weather. If you do, at best, they’ll excuse themselves. At worst, you’ll be entertained by a recap of the correlation between black hole proximity and global warming. (You didn’t know that was the subject of the person’s doctoral dissertation, did you, Deon?)

8 If you are talking to a genius, do not make any sudden moves. If you do, at best, you’ll get a flinch. At worst, your genius will have Tiny, the WWF champ, as a best friend. (Tiny moves fast when he thinks there is a danger, Demetri. I think I would begin testing those Rockport shoes and see if they are a flexible as advertised.)

7 If you are talking to a genius, do not comment on their clothes. If you do, at best, they won’t understand what you are saying. At worst, they will provide you with the existential theory behind their choice of what to wear today. (Not only did it take two hours, but you still don’t understand how the stripes and checks relate to the world politic, do you, Dixon?)

6 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask them what they want to eat. If you do, at best, you will get an “anything” response. At worst, you will be taken down a probiotic path from which there is no return. (You’ll never look at a steak the same way again, Dacy.)

5 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask them about their favorite sport. If you do, at best, they’ll defer to asking you. At worst, after an hour,, you finally realize they are talking about a game that was played in ancient Macedonia. (The sad part is their team lost, and you now have a complete commentary on how the other team cheated with a deflated goat bladder and poisoned arrows.  Some fun, huh, Daelan?)

4 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask what they watch on television. If you do, at best, you’ll have to define the term “television.” At worst, you will be treated to watching the Nature Blog live feed of baby ants who were cloned from a prehistoric frozen egg hatching as viewed on an iPad. (Really glad you asked that one, aren’t you, Dagan? Wait! Is that an anteater?)

3 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask if they have a hobby. If you do, at best, they’ll be too shy to share. At worst, before you know it, you are hooked up to a worldwide XBox War of the World gaming competition. (So how many lives do you have left, Daileass? I think you better swing that broadsword at everything you see. Given the intensity of this game, I have a feeling that once your lives are finished, you are, too.)

2 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask if they belong to a club. If you do, at best, you’ll get a stare before they walk away. At worst, you will have to defend the idea of having a high affiliation need as it relates to your own insecurities. (Makes you want to go to a cabin in the mountains doesn’t it, Daire? Then you can prove you are not intellectually weak and, as a result, don’t need anyone.)

1 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask what they do for a living. If you do, at best, you’ll get a one-word answer, “work.” At worst, you will have a detailed description of the job but will not understand what it is in a hundred years. (Did you get the opinion that they were speaking in a different language, Dalbert? What the hell is a Spectrographic Survey Specialist anyway?

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Plain/Plane

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

If there was ever a need for coffee, it is now. Fingers drumming on the counter fail to rush the dreaded AI in charge of brewing the life-restoring beverage. Finally, a wheeze indicates that the aromatic liquid will begin its journey from the bowels of the fickle machine to my very welcoming cup. Yes, the trickle has started, and soon, the crema layer will form. Time for a sip and new awareness of the need for the clock.

Clock in hand set for March 30, 1924 for a duration of two hours. The plunger is pulled and we are tansported to Toledo Ohio. The US has enacted the eighteenth constitutional amendment that bans the sale and consumption of alcohol.

We have arrived in Toledo to witness the tradegy of 12 people poisened to death consuming denatured alcohol at a party. Denatured alcohol is used as a solvent and has additives that when injested are fatel. The police shief says it is a shame these folks didn’t know that they were drinking poisen. “It’s plain to see that whoever organized this party is responsible for these deaths.”

The alarm goes off and like a flying plane my carcuss is lofted to the couch for a soft landing. My text signal goes off and I see it is from Linda Hill. It reads:Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “plain/plane.” Use one, use ’em both, bonus points if you get ’em both in your post. Have fun! If you would like to see what other bloggers do with the prompt visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2024/03/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-30-2024/

Plain/Plane by John W. Howell © 2024

“Well you got the bonus points.”

“Yes I did.”

“You sure hauled out of there though.”

“I made a slight miscalulation on the time.”

“Well, that explains it.”

“Sad about those people.”

“Yeah. There was a lot of that.”

“It was plain stupid to drink that stuff.”

“Thos people ended up on a different plane.”

“Not like good old Voo Doo Ranger.”

“Speaking of which.”

“Ordered the Uber. It’s right over there.”

“Goodness what is that?”

“A 1906 Stanley Gentlemans Speedy Runabout.”

“How in the heck did you find that one.”

“The Stanley company went out of business in1924. I thought it would be a good tie-in to your post.”

“Okay then. Let’s go.”

“I call the running board.”

“Well if that’s what you want, you got it.”

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF Fri-Yay/Good News

Copyright Ville de Saint-Joachim

Wishing you all a peaceful Good Friday

Today’s good news comes from the Good News Network

A beautiful idea’: This French Town Is Making its Cemetery a Source of Solar Energy

A community on the Loire in France has come up with a solar-powered idea that will clear two hurdles in a single leap.

The town of Saint-Joachim is located near the Brière marsh, a peat bog that becomes easily inundated with water. The local graveyard rests at 0 feet above sea level, and standing water has become a major problem.

The mayor eventually proposed covering the graveyard to divert the rainwater into catch tanks to water the grass around the cemetery and nearby sporting complex in the dry summer months.

Solar panels—clear, see-through ones, were also proposed for the otherwise basic overhead covering, with each resident receiving a letter explaining the proposal and asking for their opinion on the idea.

97% of Saint-Joachim’s residents liked the concept, and a power-sharing scheme was quickly determined whereby each resident would pay €5.00 for a share of the power generated there, which might be enough to supply around 1,000 people with enough solar power to save a couple hundred euro every year on their electric bills.

The power company in charge of the project designed an algorithm that gathers data on energy usage and determines how much each home needs to meet a fixed percentile of its overall consumption. That way, everyone, from a supermarket to the hairdresser to a single-family home, receives the same energy savings from the cemetery solar power.

The municipality will fully finance the €3.35 million ($3.6 million), 1.2-acre installation using a 7% property tax increase.

“I think it is a beautiful idea,” Éric Broquaire, a local resident and president of Brier’energie, told Euronews. “The purpose was to make it simple, to avoid someone saying, ‘Why don’t I have electricity for free?’ Everybody, even companies, will have the same level.”

The good news in this article is that a community has figured out not only a new source of energy but also a way to distribute it to the residents on a fair basis. Today’s JohnKu talks about fairness. I’m wishing you all a peaceful Easter weekend.

Fairness by John W. Howell © 2024

The distribution,

Of a scarce commodity . . .

Needs fairness also.

 

Thursday – A Little Personal – The Puma and Panther Showdown Over A Bed.

“The panther sneaks up on the puma with the intent of taking the bed.”

“The puma is fully prepared to ward off the attack.”

“The panther makes the first move.”

“The puma is now fully alert.”

“With a giant roar, the panther attacks.”

“The puma prepares to deflect the move and returns a growl..”

“The panther outflanks the puma.”

“The puma parries the thrust.”

“Mmumm emmumm”

“The puma buries the panther.”

“The panther takes a deep breath and is ready to go again.”

“Excuse me, but did the panther say, ‘I give up?'”

“‘Never surrender,’ the panther shouts.”

“The puma laughs and gets ready to end it all.”

“Okay, okay I surrender.”

“A very smart panther you are.”

“The panther can’t stand the tummy tickle.”

“You will do my bidding.”

 

“Yes, I will if you stop.”

“Maybe just one more tickle.”

“Sure looks like affection to me.”

“Yeah. That was a fun game. Okay no more tickling.”

“How about one kiss.”

“How about another rukus?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #425 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words: “Using this image (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before the end of the week. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.

Keith’s post: https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2024/03/25/kreative-kue-425/

The photo:

Beach by John W. Howell © 2024

” You look like your thoughts are far away. What’s up?”

“Just wondering, is all.”

“About what?”

“Oh, I don’t know. The future, I guess.”

“Oh my. What started this path?”

“I think it was planning this vacation.”

“It has been glorious. You did a fabulous job.”

“I have enjoyed it too.”

“So why so glum.”

“I’m not glum. Just because I’m thinking of things doesn’t mean I’m unhappy.”

“You may say so, but I recall things differently.”

“Maybe your memory is flawed. You know that blast could have knocked a few screws loose.”

“Yeah, that was something, but I have all my facilities.”

“Look down the beach. It appears folks are rebuilding.”

“I’m amazed anyone is still here.”

“It is a miracle for sure. What was here before the blast?”

“You mean what city?”

“Yeah.”

“Los Angles.”

“Well, at least the beach is still here.”

“Ever the optimist.”

 

Views of the Neighborhood – Lakeway City Hall Art Show – Penny Jamrack – Artist

We are going to Lakeway City Hall to view Penny Jamrack’s art today. Her art is on display, sponsored by The Lakeway Arts District. Penny is originally from England but now spends time at her places in Australia, Montana, and Texas. She retired from software development to concentrate on her creative interests, especially watercolor and acrylic painting. She finds inspiration in the natural beauty of plants, birds, and animals. She is also very interested in portrait work, including those of famous musicians and political figures.

I have tried to take the best photos of the art. Sometimes, it is necessary to shoot at an angle to avoid light glare. I have not tried to capture the frames, so in some cases, they are cropped out.

We are catered today by Buenos Aires Cafe of Austin. Our entertainment is Rod Stewart.

Menu

Picture of an old time school bus

The bus is ready. Let’s go.

Penny Jamrack artist.

Mother Stork and Chick – Framed watercolor

Blue Jay – Framed acrylic on canvas

Monarch Feeding – Framed acrylic on canvas

Roseate Spoonbill – Framed watercolor

Puffin with Attitude – Framed watercolor

Red Shouldered Hawk – Acrylic on canvas

Bald Eagle on Branch – Framed acrylic on canvas

Hummingbird on Daisy – Acrylic on canvas

Snowy Owl Ice Dancing – Framed acrylic on canvas

Testing the Ice – Framed acrylic on canvas

Angry Tiger – Framed watercolor

Janis Joplin – Acrylic on canvas

Saguaro Sunset – Framed watercolor

Sir Elton John – Acrylic on canvas

Ruth Bader Ginsburg – Framed acrylic on canvas

Santa Fe Door – Watercolor

Andaman Sea Anemones – Acrylic

Weeping Desert – Acrylic

Well, that is the tour. Time now to relax, have some food, and listen to Rod Stewart

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Memories of the Room You’re In.”

Come on, Columbian soothin’ syrup. Flow out those two spigots and give me the help I need to enable the thinking process. Oh, look, the liquid happiness is flowing. All I need is a sip, and the memories of this glorious room will return. Here is the sip. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Here are the memories: The ceilings and windows give the feeling of the out of doors. When we moved in, the only piece of furniture we had was a futon. We sold our other place at the coast, which was fully furnished, so we had nothing. We bought the futon, knowing it would soon be gifted to the Salvation Army. Two people and two dogs were very cozy on that futon until the new furniture arrived.

We have been here for five years, and the room has changed slightly. The couches have been lowered twice: once for Twiggy’s rehabilitation from surgery and lately to keep Tempeste the puppy from running under them and doing things that should be done outside. The rug has been changed, and new art has been installed.

The room is the center of the home and is where we spend most of our time. The time clock is going to wait for next week since the word count is getting close to the limit. My text alert tells me Linda Hill has sent the prompt. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “Memories of the room you’re in.” Write about a memory of the room (or park, or gym, or where ever you are) you’re in when you write your post. Enjoy!

To see what other bloggers have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2024/03/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-23-2024/

Memories of the Room You’re In by John W. Howell © 2024

“How did you guys get along without furniture?”

“As weird as it sounds, we did quite well.”

“Where did you sit to eat?”

“We have a large kitchen counter that has room for seats. Our daughter loaned us bar stools.”

“Dishes?”

“Yeah, we brought a set from the coast.”

“Where did you sleep?”

“We bought a mattress and put it on the bedroom floor.”

“Why did you need a futon?”

“We didn’t have a place to sit, and it worked like a couch.”

“Was it long before the furniture arrived?”

“It was all special order, so it took some time. We found a couple of pieces by going to stores.”

“Sounds ghastly.”

“It was a good memory. Of course, being in my late 70s, getting up from the mattress was a challenge.”

“I can imagine.”

“Speaking of challenge, you haven’t mentioned VooDoo Ranger.”

“I guess I’ve been busy thinking of this old guy getting out of bed and trying to stand up.”

“Yeah, it was fun. I could have used a crane.”

“Speaking of.”

“Oh no.”

“Look at our Uber lift.”

“When you say ‘lift,’ that’s an understatement.”

“You like it then?”

“Dan Antion would love it. Yes, I like it. Looks like we both can ride in the cabin.”

“Can you imagine the looks when we get to the pub?”

“For fun, I think we should tell them we are here to raise the roof.”

“You know, for you, that was pretty good. Are you taking pills or something?”

“Just high on life, my friend. Let’s go.”

 

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

By Jason Leung

Today’s good news story comes from the Good News Network.

US Bookstores Coming Back as Barnes & Noble Celebrates 31st New Store and Indie Shops Dominating.

Ask most people around the country about the number of bookstores in their town over the last twenty years, and the answer will almost inevitably be that it’s gone down. However, the new Barnes & Noble in Papillion, Nebraska, is no anomaly—corporate bookstores are returning.

The new Nebraska location is part of a slate of openings envisioned to reach as high as 50 to 60 this year alone. These openings will follow up on the 31 openings from last year and match the booming book sales born during the pandemic and carried on into the post-pandemic world.

But the great news is that economic reports suggest that more than just corporate bookstores are flourishing; as the US book sales market continues to grow and diversify, the majority of the retail book market is controlled by small stores.

Yet further, this trend isn’t limited to the US but continues around the world, with 50% of all retail book sales, whether in Germany, India, or Nebraska, coming from the proverbial Shop Around the Corner.

“It’s so exciting,” said Janine Flanigan, Senior Director of Store Planning and Design with Barnes & Noble, when interviewed about the Papillion store opening. “We came to a screeching halt in terms of opening stores. We hadn’t opened stores in a very long period of time.”

Flanigan says the same thing about bookstores as Grand View Research, whose data were quoted above—that communities use bookstores as a gathering place to talk, meet, interact, and hold events.

“We opened 31 stores which is actually more stores than we opened in the past 10 years combined,” Flanigan told WOWT News 6, Omaha. “This year we’re looking to open somewhere between 50-60 new stores.”

While digital and technological forms of media such as eBooks, audiobooks, and long-form podcasts continue to grow at the highest paces, the physical book, bought in a physical store, has never lost its luster and continues to represent the largest chunk of book purchases nationwide.

The good news in this article is that we who write books should be glad to hear about the expansion of bookstores and that independent stores still hold the majority of book sales. Today’s JohnKu discusses readers. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Readers by John W. Howell © 2024

Chain stores expanding,

Is excellent news for us . . .

It means more readers.