Waiting for a lifesaving ten ounces of Columbia’s finest liquid personality can challenge the nerves. Sure, it’s only three minutes, but it can seem like a lifetime when the nerve endings scream for relief. Caffeine addiction is a prime reason to be on edge, as the mechanics of producing the soothing syrup seem to be moving in slow motion.

The aroma and the click of the message to ‘enjoy’ signals the pain is almost over. A sip of the crema and the inhalation of the curative vapors lead to the belief that one will live. A walk to the patio, cup in hand, completes the morning. Since the seasonal change from Hell’s Back Porch to I Think We Are Going to Live has lowered the temperatures from the 100s to the 90s, life outside is possible.

Recent rains have left the Earth smelling like life has returned, and the reoccurring circling of the vultures has given way to the happy sounds of songbirds. Yes, the Texas summer seems to be over, and now it is time to enjoy the outdoors.

Feet up, contemplating a relaxing day is a brief respite from the cares of the world. A small shadow begins to widen around me. Clearly, a rather large box has been jettisoned from an unseen flying machine. As the square shadow continues to expand, it occurs to me that movement away from the contact point might be a good idea.

Jumping up and screaming like a first grader saves my bones from a crushing introduction to a very well-fortified box from the ACME air delivery service. Attached to the box is an envelope on a string. The return address is Linda Hill. The message inside says, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “prime.” Use it as an adjective or a verb, use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others do with this prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link.https://lindaghill.com/2023/10/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-7-2023/

Prime by John W. Howell © 2023

“Another box?”

“Looks like it.”

“Your prime plot point.”

“Well it beats other things.”

“Like what?”

“Urns.”

“Yeah that one was a stretch for sure.”

“So who knows what is in that thing.”

“I’m surprised it didn’t smash apart.”

“I thought you would say something like ‘I’m gald you weren’t crushed.'”

“Look around.”

“What?”

“This is a blog not the real world.”

“I’m missing the point.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be crushed. If you were this puppy would be over.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Now if you want to talk real.”

“Uber so we can fill our gut with VooDoo Ranger Imperial IPA.”

“Already called he’s sitting right over there. The green car.”

“That 1952 Studebaker Commander State?”

“Yeah that’s the one.”

“Well at least we have a car this time.”

“About that.”

“What.”

“It has no motor so we have to push it.”

“Not even going to ask or argue. Let’s hope for a favarable down hill run.”

“Coming back hom might be a problem.”

“Yeah but then I’ll have fortification.”

“True that.”

The machine works its magic. No begging, threatening, cajoling, or tears were needed for a delicious cup of steaming stuff that makes life worth living. The first sip rushes the caffeine to the brain like cocaine on steroids. The brew’s intense flavor is conducive to several chews rather than a simple swallow. It is always love at first taste of the drink we choose.

After the sip has me centered, a loud noise sends Twiggy off on a barking jag that will eventually clear the neighborhood. Checking my phone, I see a big old box has been dropped on the front porch. There is a tag in the corner that gives me a hint that life is about to get more stressful. The tag has big block letters spelling ACME.

The security system must be shut down to investigate the box. The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts thrown.

The front door is carefully opened, and the box is examined. There is a string with an envelope attached. On the outside of the envelope, the printing says OPEN and READ ME. Following the instructions, there are two letters inside. The first is from Linda Hill and reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “chews/choose.” Use one, use ’em both, use ’em any way you’d like. Bonus points if you get ’em both in. Have fun! The second is from the President of Warner Brothers. It says simply, We hope you enjoy your gift.

To see how other bloggers have responded to the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/09/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-2-2023/

Chews/Choose by John W. Howell © 2023

“Well, you got the bonus points.”

“Yup. Sure did.”

“What are those bonus points used for?”

“Anything you choose.”

“What do you use them for?”

“I’m buying a Bentley Turbo Convertable.”

“Wow. You can do that?”

“Sure.”

“When do you get the car?”

“Well, it will be a while cause I have to buy it piece by piece.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I have four lug nuts so far.”

“Four lug nuts? At this rate, it will be forever. Sounds like a fool’s errand.”

“See, there marks the difference between us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have a dream and am working on it. You are more day to day.”

“But four lug nuts. That is almost enough to hold one tire on a nonexistent car.”

“How many Bentley lug nuts do you have?”

“None.”

“The journey starts with the first step. Before you know it, I will be cruising in my convertible.”

“If you can still get a license at that age.”

I’m going to change the subject. How about a VooDoo Ranger?”

“At last, you get to the essential parts of life. Uber is here.

“Can’t wait to see wait the sale vehicle is today.”

“It’s over there.”

“What is that thing?”

“It is a vehicle that paints lines on the street. Got a good price ’cause they need to paint the lines on the road that runs by the pub.”

“Where do we sit?”

“See that trailer with all the cones.”

“Yeah.”

“We sit there and place the safety cones next to the new lines on the way.”

“What fun.”

“I knew you would be thrilled. Here, take some of these tobacco chews. Goes with the job.”

 

 

 

Back home to the Jura coffee maker at last. Humming the tune Yellow Brick Road while waiting for the soothing syrup to make its way into my cup makes the time shorter. The tune has been in my head since it was the last duet sung with my daughter while away. Keeping it in my head also holds the memory of a very special time spent with her, my son-in-law, and the three grandkids.

You see, they are a music family, and when we get together, they cause me to believe that there is some music in my bones as well. Being a realist allows me to play along but not take my participation too seriously. They have a studio with all the sound equipment needed to make the experience feel real. It is so much fun.

So the coffee is ready, and the tune will stay for a while. Since this is Saturday, there should be some kind of delivery of a note from Linda Hill. The silence of the place raises the fear of being forgotten. Suddenly my phone rings and when answered a recorded message intones. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “tune.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

If you would like to see what other bloggers do with the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/08/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-26-2023/

Tune by John W. Howell © 2023

“Well, this was low-key.”

“I think I’m still getting over the trip.”

“Oh, come on. How could a little four-day vacation be that tiring?”

“You’d sing a different tune if you knew my family.”

“Type A’s?”

“Squared. Never a dull moment.”

“But fun?”

“Oh yeah. Ton’s of fun.”

“There must be a story connected with the Yellow Brick Road tune. Like, who played the munchkins?”

“This was the Elton John version. There were no munchkins. No story except we both wanted to do it together.”

“I see.”

“Time for Uber?”

“He’s already here.”

“I see a garbage truck over there. Is that him?”

“No. Of course not. It’s the gravel truck behind him.”

“What’s wrong with a simple car?”

“Hey, come on. Pulling up to the front of the pub in a T680 Kenworth is more fitting to our lifestyle.”

“Your lifestyle you mean.”

“Well okay. But still it turns heads.”

“In pity I’m sure.”

 

 

Tapping my fingers on the counter has no effect on the speed of delivery of the only elixir that can be considered by me as lifesaving. The machine must make the frothy, full-flavored coffee in its own time. That is understood but it does not make it any easier to wait or understand the wait when every nerve is screaming for caffeine. The mind is strong, but the flesh is weak. To quote the flesh, “Give me coffee or someone gets hurt.”

Finally, the machinations are over, and my cup runnith full. One sip and the insurrection going on inside the body is put down. All the minions go back to work, and the day has begun. During the second sip, a slight sound is detected by the Arlo security system. A quick phone check shows the message, Movement, at the front door. Snapping on the two-way communication system, the question of who is there is transmitted to the outside. The response is surprising. Special Delivery. A signature is required.

A huge sigh escapes just at the thought of disarming the security system. But since there doesn’t seem to be an alternative. The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts thrown. Easing the door open, no one seems to be on the porch. There is a buzzing like a hive of bees. In a flash, a drone drops down and meets me eye to eye, so to speak. A metallic voice asks for my signature, quickly scrawled on a glass plate. An envelope is thrust at me from somewhere inside the drone. I take it, and the drone shoots straight up and disappears.

I can see the envelope is from Linda Hill. I open it and read the message inside. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “envelope.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy! To see how others handle the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here’s the link: https://lindaghill.com/2023/08/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-12-2023/

Envelope by John W. Howell © 2023

“Well, that was easy.”

“It was like it was made for me.”

“You use  the word ‘envelope’ every week.”

“I know, right?”

“Maybe Linda decided to give you a break.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“So now that the prompt is nailed, what do we do now?”

“We could go to the library.”

“Um, why?”

“To pick up some books.”

“Books to read, you mean?”

“Yeah, that’s what you do with books.”

“Is there a chance it is on the way to the pub?”

“If you ask if we can stop at the pub after the library, the answer is yes.”

“How about before?”

“You’re pushing the envelope.”

“Okay, after is fine. I can hold out. Got Uber ordered.”

“Great. What kind of mess did you order this time?”

“Tell me you didn’t enjoy the other rides?”

“The road grader was a challenge.”

“Only cause it rained, and there was no room in the cab.”

“There was that too.”

“So the guy is here.”

“Where?”

“Over there.”

“All I see is a Good Humor truck.”

“That’s it. I must warn you he has a couple of stops before we arrive.”

“Did I ever tell you how much I dislike bells?”

“No, never. He going to throw in a Dreamsicle, too.”

“Just can’t wait.”

 

 

Thinking of the heat possibilities for the next ten days, the slow dribble of coffee and rising steam leads me to consider ice cubes in the brew. Shaking off the thought and taking the first sip causes the concern over hot stuff in the summer to fly out the window. Yes, it has been above 100 degrees F (37 C) for the last 28 days. The projection is for records in the above 105 categories (40 C) for the next ten days.

There is no choice but to hang on and pray that the power grid holds. This means dog walks in the morning and anything that needs to be done outside in the morning as well. We are expecting another stage of water conservation which will mark the end of watering any lawns that people have.

We have zero scape, so the water restrictions will not affect our garden. If this heat keeps up, though, I can imagine the time coming that will require a sponge bath in the sink. I think Twiggy will be the only one glad for the water reforms. Her love of bath is only surpassed by her love of a vet visit.

I am surprised that while watching the Weather Channel, the announcer breaks into the broadcast. “We have a message from Linda Hill,” is his lead-in. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “pick a number.” Choose a number—any number—and write about it any way you’d like. Have fun!”

Gotta wonder how Linda does it. Anyway, if you would like to see how others handle the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/08/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-5-2023/

Pick a Number by John W. Howell © 2023

“What number did you pick?”

“One hundred is the number.”

“I guess you are all too familiar with it.”

“Yeah. It’s like an old friend.”

“Not sure I would put it that way.”

“You know we call this part of the summer Hell’s Back Porch.”

“So I’ve heard. When’s it going to break.”

“I figure a day before the freeze.”

“What freeze?”

“They are projecting a colder than normal winter for Texas.”

“Does it ever end?”

“Well, beats the alternative as they say.”

“Lucky we still have VoooDoo Ranger.”

“Speaking of that.”

“Uber is here already. He’s right over there.”

“What is that thing?”

“A road grader.”

“Why?”

“You ever ride on a road grader?”

“No.”

“So, a new life experience. Will help you forget the heat.”

“It will be so cool in the pub once we get there. I’ll be grateful right?”

“Now you are getting it.”

“Notwithstanding, I’ll be soaking wet from sweat.”

“Nature’s cool down technique.”

“Fine.”

 

Serenity is having a cup of coffee and time to think of important matters. The machine has given up its addictive brew, and now, with feet up, the time seems right for those important thoughts. The first sip of nectar stimulates the brain into action. The first thought: One cannot live by bread alone. A good cup of coffee is the root of sustainable life.

Thinking that the important thought objective will be won congers the second: All things come to he who waits. A good cup of coffee is a virtue. Just as the third thought begins to bubble up from the subconscious, my ring doorbell detects a visitor. Grateful that the person heeds the “Do Not Ring the Doorbell” sign, a step over the sleeping Twiggy gets me to the security panel.

The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts opened. The front door is opened, and there stands someone who looks a lot like Bugs Bunny.

“Hi, Doc,” he says. “It’s my birthday, and I’ll cry if I want to.” He then hands me an envelope, which is from Linda Hill. “I was born on July 27th, 1940, and have decided you need some carrot cake.” Bugs then tosses a cake in my direction before turning and leaving.

Wiping cake from my eyes, I open the envelope. Inside is a message. It reads, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “one/won.” Use one, use them both, use them any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use them both. Enjoy!

If you want to see how others handle the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/07/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-29-2023

One/Won by John W. Howell © 2023

“Squeeked by on that one.”

“Come on. I won it. Also, I need to thank Tom Okragly and Dan Conti for the Bugs information.”

“Yeah, but you had to take advantage of Bugs Bunny’s birthday to do it.”

“I call that fair.”

“Like a robber would say, he is ‘liberating the goods he steals.'”

“Where did that come from?”

“Deep thoughts from coffee.”

“Anyway, I did get the prompt done.”

“I suppose you can count it.”

“And I won the bonus. This calls for a drink.”

“Uber is waiting. Right over there.”

“That Bently  turbo convertible?”

“No, the one behind it.”

“The truck with the sheep?”

“Got a good deal.”

 

 

Waiting for my coffee to begin its journey from the bean hopper through the press and down the twin spouts, my thoughts turn to how nice it is to be in my own place. The aroma of the coffee filling the mug causes a reflection on how great the simple things of life are and how often they are taken for granted. Our brains don’t seem to be programmed to record the simple stuff but tend to make ample notes of the complex.

Jessica brought home that the fight or flight response is the record the brain plays repeatedly. When fighting isn’t possible, then the concentration turns to flight. That big bun and the big guy convinced me to take advantage of anything at hand for a getaway. Sipping my brew brings the total picture into focus. There has to be more time spent on the small blessings that are all around.

Feeling satisfied with my conclusion and getting to the end of my phone vibrates. Pulling the phone out of my pocket, there is a new text message from Linda Hill. It says, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “record.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Have fun! Visit Linda’s blog to see what others have done with the prompt. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2023/07/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-15-2023/

Record by John W. Howell © 2023

“Wait a minute.”

“What?”

“No falling rocket or safe?”

“I guess not.”

“This has to be a record.”

“Well, you can’t have that kind of thing every day.”

“Yeah, but this is once a week, and I think I should.”

“Good thing this isn’t your blog.”

“Yeah, but I’m a reader and have rights.”

“What kind of right?”

“The right to be entertained.”

“And a falling safe does that?”

“You bet along with a cartoon character.”

“Anything else?”

“A description of your security system.”

“You sound like a broken record. I’ve done all those.”

“Yeah, so do more.”

“Or you find something else to read?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I know. I did. Maybe a hint. What do you think?”

“I already ordered a Uber. He’s over there.”

“That flatbed truck?”

“No, the limo behind it.”

“The white limo with six rear wheels.”

“Yeah, it was on special. It has a pool.”

“For the record, I object.”

“The fridge is full of Voo Doo Ranger.”

“Objection overruled.”

 

My blinking SOS with my eyes had no effect on the clerk. WTF went through my brain as the clerk handed me my temporary membership card. Making faces and rolling my eyes did nothing to alert the clerk that my condition was SOL. Jessica grabs my arm and pulls me away from the desk. “Let’s get to the statue,” she says through her teeth. Seeing that the clerk will be no help, there is no choice but to enter the store.

My mind is racing as the checker waves us on. The only thought that comes is to stall as much as possible. Pointing in the direction of the last row clear across the store, we start moving in that direction. Wishing the opportunity to grab someone and scream bloody murder would come up, my objective is to move as slowly as possible.

“Quit stalling.” Jessica seems to be on to me. We pass the clothing displays, and Jessica does not appreciate me pointing out the terrific saving on bib overalls. We come to a woman holding a tray of cream cheese on cracker samples, and again, Jessica takes exception to my offer of trying one. She grips my arm with enough pressure to turn my hand black. “I’m not afraid to use this gun right here. Unless you want to be DOA, my suggestion is you get to the statue proto.”

A sigh passes my lips, realizing that my goose is now in the oven. Wait, an idea pops into my head. All that needs to be done is to go to the rotisserie oven and grab a couple of hot birds. Tossing them at Jessica and the big guy might be enough of a diversion for me to start screaming like a girl and get some help. With the plan in mind, I steer them toward the hot chickens. Grabbing two birds and flinging them catches both Jessica and the big guy off guard. Jessica starts swearing. The big guy decides to start eating my contribution is a scream that could crack the crystal.

A security guy comes over, and both the big guy and Jessica book for the exit. The security guy looks at my membership card and lets me know there is a message from Linda Hill. He shows me the message on his iPad, and it reads; Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “acronym’.” Choose an acronym and use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

If you want to see what others have done with this prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2023/07/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-8-2023/

Acronym by John W. Howell © 2023

“SOL? Do you think anyone will know what that means?”

“Yeah. So Outta Luck.”

“That is the family blog meaning. I mean the real one.”

“We’ll just leave it at that.”

“DOA is Dead on Arrival, right?”

“You got it.”

“We all know WTF.”

“Yes, and no need to expand that one.”

“So where did this throwing chicken idea come from.”

“Where most of my hair brain ideas come from.”

“You know I feel a little cheated with that solution.”

“Come on, the whole idea of being hit with a lemon pepper chicken is pretty funny.”

“I suppose, but I expected some kind of gunfight or something.”

“Well, think of the chickens in that context.”

“That’s a stretch.”

“Think of something else then.”

“Like the Uber arrival text.”

“There you go.”

“That’s him over there.”

“In a Good Humor Ice Cream truck?”

“It’s the discount fare vehicle.”

“Can we fit?”

“Yeah, but you need to ring the bells.”

“Figures. Not a direct trip, I’ll bet.”

“Well, just a few stops.”

“OMG.”

“Nice.”