I was lounging in the backyard, thinking pure thoughts about the world at large. All of a sudden, I heard what sounded like a police whistle, and a guy who looked like the McDonald’s Hamburgerler jumped over the fence and landed flat-footed in front of me. “May I help you?” I said. His eyes tightened, and I could see him turn red behind the mask. “You have a gun?” he responded. I told him I didn’t have a gun, but he could borrow my shovel. He burst out laughing and handed me an envelope. He then jumped back over the fence, and I heard more noise, then silence.

I opened the envelope, and here is what was inside written on the back of a canceled cashier’s check.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hope.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

The check was for a million dollars and since it was canceled, all hope for the Bentley Turbo Convertable went out the window.

If you would like to have fun go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2021/07/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-10-2021/

Hope by John W. Howell © 2021

“Hey bud, what’s going on?”

“Saturday prompt.”

“Ah, another stumper?”

“No, this one is easy.”

“Like the bartender asked the horse, why the long face?”

“It is a word that can describe optimism or pessimism depending on how it is used.”

“Humm sounds like when my beer glass is empty.”

“I’m serious. I have a tough time choosing which.”

“Why not both? Then you can call whatever this is a treatise.”

“That is a good idea. The word is hope.”

“OMG, something you need a lot of for sure.”

“Uh..okay. Anyway, the word hope can mean looking forward with the optimism that things will get better.”

“Or?”

“When someone declares there is no hope, it pretty much means things will stay the same or get worse.”

“So you going to give an example of each?”

“Humm. How about I’m out of money, and very thirsty.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I hope some nice guy will stand me to a beer.”

“Yeah, I hope you are right.”

“Wait a minute that was your cue.”

“I don’t want you to lose hope, but I have no money either.”

“A perfect storm and example of no hope.”

“Wait, there is hope yet. I can put the beer on my tab at the Purple Octopus.”

“Gosh I hate that place.”

“But it offers us hope to quench our thirst.”

“Better hope than no hope I guess. Let’s go.”

“By the way. Don’t use their glasses.”

“This gets better and better.”

“Order a bottle and don’t take any of the bar nuts.”

“My hope for a happy ending is now fading.”

“Don’t touch your face until  we get hand sanitizer.”

“Hope is gone.”

“Maybe but still there’s beer.”

“There is that.”

 

 

I had just finished my coffee and was looking at an enormous weed that had grown overnight on the lawn. All of a sudden, a  little shadow was starting to spread around the weed. Looking up, I could see a still small square getting larger by the second. My brain finally clicked and realized it was an object descending from on high toward the Earth. Taking a glance around, I could see the shadow growing exponentially in four directions with me at the center.  I willed my feet to move just as the large ACME fireworks box embedded itself into the ground. When the dust and scraps of lawn settled, I realized that I could have been squashed by the substantial box. The good part was I realized the weed could not have survived the landing.

Gently I removed the cover, and among the rockets and pouches of explosives, I found this:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “contains ‘igh.’” Find a word that contains the letters “igh” in that order and use it in your post. Enjoy!

Clearly, Linda Hill has found a new delivery service. I did call Wil E. Coyote to come to pick up his stuff. If you would like to have fun like this, visit Linda’s blog and find out how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2021/07/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-3-2021/

IGH by John W. Howell © 2021

“Why so glum—”

“Don’t say, chum.”

“Okay. What’s the problem as if I couldn’t guess?”

“It’s this prompt. It has me buffaloed.”

“Not a hard thing to do.”

“Come on.”

“Okay, sorry. Why are you buffaloed?”

“Words with igh? Someone is pulling my leg.”

“I can think of high. You could do a diary of our pub work.”

“Nobody is going to be interested in that.”

“I think they would be delighted.”

“Hey, you got one.”

“See, not so hard.”

“Do another.”

“Light bulb, but it doesn’t have anything to do with anything.”

“The rules don’t say it has to mean something.”

“Well, then you and I might be in the right place.”

“We have four so far, right?”

“Five.”

“I want to tighten up and win this.”

“You now have six. Why not stop now before you become bigheaded.”

“I would really like to have eight words with igh. That would be swell.”

“You made it. There are eight.”

“Let’s hit the highway then. Our job is done here and the pub calleth.”

“People might think we are shallow. All we do is prompts and beer.”

“Have a highball then.  At least you’ll look sophisticated.”

“Forget it. Who needs to go to greater heights anyway?”

“I agree. Certainly not us. Let’s go.”

 

I just got up and went to the window to see what all the chirping was about. I looked out on the back lawn, and there was a box sitting in the middle of the yard. There must have been a hundred birds all jumping up and down and all around the box. I quickly went outside to see what was causing all the commotion. The birds parted, and I see that the box is from the ACME seed company. That certainly explains the excitement. What is not explained is how the box got there in the first place. Deciding to ignore the mystery, I opened the box and found a note from Linda Hill with the following message:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “up/down.” Use one, use them both, but try to put one in your first sentence. Bonus points if you use the other in your last sentence. Have fun!

I let the birds have the seed and thought I heard a “beep, beep” as I walked back into the house.

I had to check back to my first sentence and was pleased to see I had used “up.” So I’m on the road to bonus points and one step closer to the Turbo Bentley Convertable.

Up/Down by John W. Howell © 2021

“What are all these birds doing around your house?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Involves the prompt for today, I’ll bet.”

“Yeah, it does but only in a transcendental way.”

“Okay I’ll take you word for that. What’s the prompt?”

“Up/Down. Bonus points for using one in the first sentence and the other in the last sentence.”

“Oh, too bad. You missed the first sentence opportunity.”

“Au contraire mon frère. I nailed it. It was before you arrived.”

“I’ll take your word. So what else is up?”

“Oh please, that is as trite as all get out.”

“Just trying to help.”

“Next you are going to say you are down with something like beer drinking.”

“Had crossed my mind.”

“We need to think of some way to use up/down in an original way.”

“How about up/down exercise.”

“Common.”

“Uptown/downtown.”

“Not really the pure form of up/down.”

“Okay, I give up.”

“That’s a start.”

“No I mean I quit. Give up. Surrender.”

“Yeah, I get it. You’ve had it up to there.”

“Now you are doing dumb. What do you say about packing up.”

“I like it. Where should we go?”

“Down to the pub.”

“Now I can say anything since that could have been the last sentence.”

“You could say you were down with going to the pub.”

“And lay down all my principles?”

“It’s only down the street.”

“I’m down with it.”

“You are a good man.”

“Don’t say any more. I need to end this with down in the last sentence.”

“Okay then.”

“Grrr, I may have to come down hard on you.”

“Not saying a word.”

“I’m down with that too.”

 

Celebrate freedom. Happy Juneteenth.

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and I was laying outback on the chaise lounge thinking of what kind of pasta to make for dinner. When the idea of an amatriciana sauce popped into my head, I was also hit in the same spot with a falling box. I had no idea where the box came from, but I suspect it was heaved over the back fence by a neighbor who received it by mistake. It only took a minute for the stars to clear and the sender’s name to become legable. None other than Linda Hill was the name in the left corner of the label. I ripped open the box with the help of my newly cleaned and polished teeth. Sure enough, the prompt was the only item in the box.

The prompt. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hat/het/hit/hot/hut.” Choose one, choose ’em all, put ’em in your post. Enjoy!”

If you would like to enjoy this prompt, visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2021/06/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-19-2021/

Hat/Het/Hit/Hot/Hut by John W. Howell © 2021

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out the prompt today.”

“Oh yes, Saturday Hill time. What’s to figure out?”

“Het.”

“Het?”

“Het. What does it mean?”

“Look it up.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Against the rules.”

“Cheat.”

“Will you keep it under your hat?”

“Maybe.”

“If not, I’ll get all het up.”

“Nicely done.”

“Well, will you?”

“Sure.”

“I put it in Google and got a hit on ‘het.'”

“What does it say?”

“Haven’t looked yet. Cheating makes my face hot.”

“For heaven’s sake. Who is going to know?”

“I’ll know.”

“So, what would be the consequence?”

“My mind would go into the hut of remorse.”

“Hut of remorse? Is there such a thing?”

“No, I made it up.”

“To finish up the prompt?”

“Clever, huh?”

“For one who is reluctant to cheat, you sure play fast with the rules.”

“Who’s post is this anyway?”

“Yours.”

“Right. I think my job is done here.”

“You want to go to the Brew Hut and hit on some hot tasting brewskis?”

“Let me get my hat. What about het?”

“Let’s leave him home.”

 

 

 

 

I had just finished digging out my olive tree and sat down to have a cold drink of tea. All of a sudden, the United States Postal Service person leaned on the front doorbell. The bell is right above a sign that says PLEASE DO NOT RING DOORBELL. 

I finally got Twiggy off the ceiling and opened the door. In the middle of the porch, there was a soaking wet package laying in the opposite direction of the THIS SIDE UP arrow. I opened the package and found this message. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “yarn.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy! Along with the message were three skeins of yarn. The labels said two red and one white. In reality, there were two red and one candy-striped from the soaking.

If you would like to join in the fun visit Lina Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/06/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-5-2021/

 

Yarn by John W. Howell ©2021

“That’s funny-looking yarn.”

“Yeah, the white was in a box that got soaked from the rain.”

“Postal Service delivery, right?”

“How’d you know?”

“I think they put every package in a big tank.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Prevents explosions.”

“Very funny.”

“So why the yarn.”

“It’s a present from Linda Hill.”

“What’s she up to?”

“the prompt is yarn, so I think she sent some.”

“And if you used the word to mean a tall tale?”

“Maybe she would have sent a giraffe. I don’t know?”

“You are pretty sharp today. So what is y9ur story going to be?”

“I thought I would talk about knitting.”

“Knitting? You know anything about knitting?”

“No.”

“Perfect. You are well-qualified to talk about it then.”

“You being facetious?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I would just explain that it is tough to do and takes time.”

“You could compare knitting to drinking a twelve pack.”

“I was wondering how you were going to work beer into this conversation. I almost gave up on you.”

“Now that the subject has come up, what do you say?”

“Yeah. Let’s go knit.”

“Don’t make me during alone.”

“Just kidding. Your turn to buy.”

“Leave the yarn at home, okay.”

 

 

 

I was walking back from the store and heard the screech of vehicle brakes behind me. I turned around and came face to face with the FedEx van. I have to say maybe a FedEx van doesn’t have a face, but it sure seemed that way to me. Anyway, the driver tossed a package my way and yelled something about not being able to face my vicious bulldog today. I tried to yell back that she is not vicious, just vocal but needed to spend more of my energy getting out of the way of the van.

Lucky for me, I jumped free, and after the van sped away, I went over to the flattened package. This raised a nostalgic memory of when all FedEx packages were flat as a pancake. I picked up the two-dimensional box, and through a split in the cardboard, a note fluttered to the ground. It was from Linda Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “collect.” Use the word “collect” any way you’d like. Have fun! was all it said. The rest of the contents of the package consists of double stuffed Oreo’s in a deconstructed state. All I need is a glass of milk and a spoon.

Collect by John W.Howell © 2021

“Hey, you look chipper.”

“Got my prompt finished.”

“Okay then. Want to share?”

“Sure, the prompt is ‘collect,’ and I wrote a story about the time I called home.”

“Called home? Was this in your youth?”

“Yeah, I was in school.”

“This must have been some story.”

“I called home ‘collect.’ and my dad refused the call.”

“That was cold. Any reason.”

“I think he thought it was a crank call.”

“Why on earth would he think that.”

“Er, maybe cause I hadn’t called for a while.?”

“What’s a while?”

“Three months.”

“Yeah, might be the reason. Why didn’t you call?”

“Not sure it was so long ago.”

“Why all of a sudden did you call?”

“Needed money.”

“I don’t think it was because he thought it was a crank call.”

“No? Then what?”

“He probably wanted to teach you a lesson.”

“Which was?”

“You should call more, not just when you needed something.”

“Yeah. I did correct my behavior.”

“Good. So you called more often?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“I stopped calling collect.”

“Is that a rim shot and cymbal noise I hear?”

“I think it is more the call of the six-pack.”

“Let’s go.”

 

 

I was having a wannabe productive day yesterday. I was thinking of maybe raking the leaves and mowing the lawn. I got out the lawnmower and gave it a tug. It started in one pull, so I knew something was wrong. As I walked behind (yes, it is self-propelled. I’m 80 years old, so I live with it.)

Just when I thought the job would be perfect, there was a box blocking the next pass. I had to stop the mower, and knowing it would never start again until tomorrow, I decided to open the box. Here is what was inside, along with a trouble-shooting guide for my lawnmower. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “roc.” Find a word with “roc” in it or use it as a word all by itself. Enjoy!”

If you would like to stop work and enjoy a prompt, visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/05/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-22-2021/

ROC by John W, Howell © 2021

“Why’d you stop mowing the lawn?”

“He says wanting to rub salt in the wound.”

“You hurt yourself?”

“No. I got a prompt from Linda and it was in a box that caused me to shut off the mower.”

“Oh-oh. That means no more work today.”

“Right you are.”

“When you going to get a new mower?”

“Come on that one is only forteen years old.”

“I could make an argument that it is only seven give it only runs half the time.”

“Yeah, make fun why don’t you.”

“So what’s the prompt.”

“ROC.”

“You have a stroke?”

“Why.”

“Name’s Larry”

“Don’t start with the Abbott and Costello routine.”

“Roc soud like an eacy one.”

“Oh yeah for you maybe.”

“Rock and a hard place.”

“That’s me totally.”

“Rock and roll.”

“Not in the mood to dance.”

“Rocket to the moon.”

“I get nose bleeds up high.”

“Off your rocker.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Proctology.”

“Pain in the butt.”

“Proclomation.”

“Have no issues.”

“Procreate.”

“Don’t want kds.”

“Okay last one. Procurement.”

“Now that one I can use.”

“Really?”

“Yes it will be a story of two guys who set out to procure giant glasses of beer.”

“Sounds remotely familiar.”

“A procedure we’ve done many times.”

“Shall we go to the Shamrock pub and live out the story?”

“Yeah my crockpot is set for six hours so I’m good to go.”

“That was a cheap one.”

“Dang me. Pretty atrocious. all right.”

“Stop.”

 

I was minding my own business today when a courier rode up and asked my name. Thinking maybe it was a process server, I told him, John Doe. He mumbled something about the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes, so I owned up to my name. Sure enough, it was an envelope from Linda Hill. I couldn’t wait to tear into it, and here’s what was written on the paper inside. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “to your left.” When you sit down to write your post, look to your left. What is the thing closest to you? Write about the memories that thing induces. Enjoy!

When I sat down to write my post, Twiggy’s eel toy was the nearest thing to me laying on the floor. Here is a photo of it.

Eel by John W.Howell ©2021

“You are not serious.”

“Why? What’s wrong with talking about an eel?”

“That is a dog toy, for heaven’s sake. How much history could it have?”

“Plenty.”

“Yeah, right. Why didn’t you sit down next to a 25-year-old bottle of bourbon? Now that would be history.”

“Cause I drank it 25 years ago.”

“So, what is the history about the eel?”

“Twiggy likes to play tug o’ war with it. She’ll bring it to me and want to play.”

“Oh, snore.”

“Come on. It’s cute.”

“How long has she had this eel?”

“Since she was eight weeks old?”

“So over two years.”

“Yup. An antique in dog toys.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Dog toys don’t always last. This eel has been terrific.”

“Why was it out laying on the floor.”

“So that it will be ready to play.”

“You don’t mind having dog toys laying all around the place?”

“It is very thin. Doesn’t get in the way.”

“What about appearances?”

“What do you mean?”

“People will think you are a slob.”

“I wouldn’t want to dissuade them.”

“Why doesn’t that bother you?”

“Love me, love my dogs.”

“You sound like a nut case.”

“I have twenty bucks dedicated to nothing but beer.”

“Einstein.”