I had just finished digging out my olive tree and sat down to have a cold drink of tea. All of a sudden, the United States Postal Service person leaned on the front doorbell. The bell is right above a sign that says PLEASE DO NOT RING DOORBELL. 

I finally got Twiggy off the ceiling and opened the door. In the middle of the porch, there was a soaking wet package laying in the opposite direction of the THIS SIDE UP arrow. I opened the package and found this message. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “yarn.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy! Along with the message were three skeins of yarn. The labels said two red and one white. In reality, there were two red and one candy-striped from the soaking.

If you would like to join in the fun visit Lina Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/06/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-5-2021/

 

Yarn by John W. Howell ©2021

“That’s funny-looking yarn.”

“Yeah, the white was in a box that got soaked from the rain.”

“Postal Service delivery, right?”

“How’d you know?”

“I think they put every package in a big tank.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Prevents explosions.”

“Very funny.”

“So why the yarn.”

“It’s a present from Linda Hill.”

“What’s she up to?”

“the prompt is yarn, so I think she sent some.”

“And if you used the word to mean a tall tale?”

“Maybe she would have sent a giraffe. I don’t know?”

“You are pretty sharp today. So what is y9ur story going to be?”

“I thought I would talk about knitting.”

“Knitting? You know anything about knitting?”

“No.”

“Perfect. You are well-qualified to talk about it then.”

“You being facetious?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I would just explain that it is tough to do and takes time.”

“You could compare knitting to drinking a twelve pack.”

“I was wondering how you were going to work beer into this conversation. I almost gave up on you.”

“Now that the subject has come up, what do you say?”

“Yeah. Let’s go knit.”

“Don’t make me during alone.”

“Just kidding. Your turn to buy.”

“Leave the yarn at home, okay.”

 

 

 

I was walking back from the store and heard the screech of vehicle brakes behind me. I turned around and came face to face with the FedEx van. I have to say maybe a FedEx van doesn’t have a face, but it sure seemed that way to me. Anyway, the driver tossed a package my way and yelled something about not being able to face my vicious bulldog today. I tried to yell back that she is not vicious, just vocal but needed to spend more of my energy getting out of the way of the van.

Lucky for me, I jumped free, and after the van sped away, I went over to the flattened package. This raised a nostalgic memory of when all FedEx packages were flat as a pancake. I picked up the two-dimensional box, and through a split in the cardboard, a note fluttered to the ground. It was from Linda Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “collect.” Use the word “collect” any way you’d like. Have fun! was all it said. The rest of the contents of the package consists of double stuffed Oreo’s in a deconstructed state. All I need is a glass of milk and a spoon.

Collect by John W.Howell © 2021

“Hey, you look chipper.”

“Got my prompt finished.”

“Okay then. Want to share?”

“Sure, the prompt is ‘collect,’ and I wrote a story about the time I called home.”

“Called home? Was this in your youth?”

“Yeah, I was in school.”

“This must have been some story.”

“I called home ‘collect.’ and my dad refused the call.”

“That was cold. Any reason.”

“I think he thought it was a crank call.”

“Why on earth would he think that.”

“Er, maybe cause I hadn’t called for a while.?”

“What’s a while?”

“Three months.”

“Yeah, might be the reason. Why didn’t you call?”

“Not sure it was so long ago.”

“Why all of a sudden did you call?”

“Needed money.”

“I don’t think it was because he thought it was a crank call.”

“No? Then what?”

“He probably wanted to teach you a lesson.”

“Which was?”

“You should call more, not just when you needed something.”

“Yeah. I did correct my behavior.”

“Good. So you called more often?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“I stopped calling collect.”

“Is that a rim shot and cymbal noise I hear?”

“I think it is more the call of the six-pack.”

“Let’s go.”

 

 

I was having a wannabe productive day yesterday. I was thinking of maybe raking the leaves and mowing the lawn. I got out the lawnmower and gave it a tug. It started in one pull, so I knew something was wrong. As I walked behind (yes, it is self-propelled. I’m 80 years old, so I live with it.)

Just when I thought the job would be perfect, there was a box blocking the next pass. I had to stop the mower, and knowing it would never start again until tomorrow, I decided to open the box. Here is what was inside, along with a trouble-shooting guide for my lawnmower. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “roc.” Find a word with “roc” in it or use it as a word all by itself. Enjoy!”

If you would like to stop work and enjoy a prompt, visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/05/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-22-2021/

ROC by John W, Howell © 2021

“Why’d you stop mowing the lawn?”

“He says wanting to rub salt in the wound.”

“You hurt yourself?”

“No. I got a prompt from Linda and it was in a box that caused me to shut off the mower.”

“Oh-oh. That means no more work today.”

“Right you are.”

“When you going to get a new mower?”

“Come on that one is only forteen years old.”

“I could make an argument that it is only seven give it only runs half the time.”

“Yeah, make fun why don’t you.”

“So what’s the prompt.”

“ROC.”

“You have a stroke?”

“Why.”

“Name’s Larry”

“Don’t start with the Abbott and Costello routine.”

“Roc soud like an eacy one.”

“Oh yeah for you maybe.”

“Rock and a hard place.”

“That’s me totally.”

“Rock and roll.”

“Not in the mood to dance.”

“Rocket to the moon.”

“I get nose bleeds up high.”

“Off your rocker.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Proctology.”

“Pain in the butt.”

“Proclomation.”

“Have no issues.”

“Procreate.”

“Don’t want kds.”

“Okay last one. Procurement.”

“Now that one I can use.”

“Really?”

“Yes it will be a story of two guys who set out to procure giant glasses of beer.”

“Sounds remotely familiar.”

“A procedure we’ve done many times.”

“Shall we go to the Shamrock pub and live out the story?”

“Yeah my crockpot is set for six hours so I’m good to go.”

“That was a cheap one.”

“Dang me. Pretty atrocious. all right.”

“Stop.”

 

I was minding my own business today when a courier rode up and asked my name. Thinking maybe it was a process server, I told him, John Doe. He mumbled something about the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes, so I owned up to my name. Sure enough, it was an envelope from Linda Hill. I couldn’t wait to tear into it, and here’s what was written on the paper inside. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “to your left.” When you sit down to write your post, look to your left. What is the thing closest to you? Write about the memories that thing induces. Enjoy!

When I sat down to write my post, Twiggy’s eel toy was the nearest thing to me laying on the floor. Here is a photo of it.

Eel by John W.Howell ©2021

“You are not serious.”

“Why? What’s wrong with talking about an eel?”

“That is a dog toy, for heaven’s sake. How much history could it have?”

“Plenty.”

“Yeah, right. Why didn’t you sit down next to a 25-year-old bottle of bourbon? Now that would be history.”

“Cause I drank it 25 years ago.”

“So, what is the history about the eel?”

“Twiggy likes to play tug o’ war with it. She’ll bring it to me and want to play.”

“Oh, snore.”

“Come on. It’s cute.”

“How long has she had this eel?”

“Since she was eight weeks old?”

“So over two years.”

“Yup. An antique in dog toys.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Dog toys don’t always last. This eel has been terrific.”

“Why was it out laying on the floor.”

“So that it will be ready to play.”

“You don’t mind having dog toys laying all around the place?”

“It is very thin. Doesn’t get in the way.”

“What about appearances?”

“What do you mean?”

“People will think you are a slob.”

“I wouldn’t want to dissuade them.”

“Why doesn’t that bother you?”

“Love me, love my dogs.”

“You sound like a nut case.”

“I have twenty bucks dedicated to nothing but beer.”

“Einstein.”

 

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and as I was looking up at the rainclouds, I was hit by an envelope. It seemed to come from nowhere, and inside was what I was expecting. Yes. It was Linda Hill’s prompt. Here is what it said. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “may.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!” I have to find out how she does the airmail thingy. In the meantime, if you want to have fun visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/04/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1-2021/

May by John W. Howell © 2021.

“Why are you standing out in the rain with your eyes wide open?”

“I’m trying to figure something out.”

“Like what?”

“How Linda Hill gets letters to drop out of the sky.”

“That is an obscure thing to ponder. What is going on?”

“This letter came floating down ad hit me square in the face.”

“Your prompt for this week.”

“Precisely.”

“How may I help you?”

“Did you read the prompt?”

“No.”

“May is the prompt.”

“Okay. So how may I help you.”

“Help me figure out how to have fun with the word ‘may.'”

“April showers bring May flowers?”

“Sheesh. That is going to get me nothing.”

“May the bird of paradise roost in your jammies and invite his family to a reunion.”

“Did you just make that up?”

“Yeah. Like it?”

“Loathe it.”

“May all your troubles be little ones.”

“That too.”

“May the wind be at your back and the road comes up to meet you.”

“Where are you getting this stuff?”

“Wait for it..”

“Don’t do the ‘May the force be with you.'”

“Shuckens you spoined it.”

“Shuckins?”

“May I buy you a beer.”

“The best one yet. May you live long and prosper.”

“Oh, Thanks. May your lips be wet and your pants dry.”

“I think that’s ‘feet’ dry. Poor Richard’s Almanac.”

“In your case, I think mine is more appropriate.”

“You’re going to get old too you know.”

“Hahaha. Let’s get the beer.”

“may I give you a lift.”

“Quit it.”

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time, and there was a small envelope lying on the front sidewalk. I opened it, and here is what it said “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “mash.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!”

If you would like to have some fun, visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2021/04/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-17-2021/

Mash by John W. Howell ©2021

“Why are you staring at the piece of paper. Oh wait, don’t answer that. It has to be Stream of Consciousness time again.”

“Yes, it is. This week is a one-word prompt that has me flummoxed.”

“Flummoxed, eh? Must be a big word.”

“You just get in from Toronto? No, it isn’t a big word. it’s a confusing word.”

“Like antidisestablishmentarianism?”

“No, like mash.”

“Mash?”

“Yeah, mash. What can you do with mash?’

“Oh, man. How about a song and dance?”

“Song and dance?”

“Yeah, Monster Mash and Mash potatoes.”

“No, everyone will do those.”

“Okay, then let’s go to sour mash.”

“Sour mash? What the heck is that?”

“The makins for whiskey. You get corn and let it ferment and—”

“That will be fine. We don’t need to go on about sour mash.”

“How about Mash 4077?”

“The TV show? Um, that’s another one everyone will do.”

“Okay, I’m close to giving up. How about an idea from you?”

“I could talk of the Mash bike.”

“Yeah, that would be a real crowd-pleaser.”

“At least it would be unique.”

“Like green hair.”

“It is getting close to lunch.”

“yeah, so what does that have to do with the prompt?”

“The pub is calling.”

“I’m always game for that. You need to complete your prompt exercise.”

“Okay, how about we have a black and Tan and . . . wait for it. . . bangers and mash.”

“You did it.”

“Yup, I did.”

“Let’s go. The first is on me.”

“Uber is waiting.”

 

 

A large box was left on the porch today. Since it wasn’t from Chewy, I was pretty sure Linda Hill had paid a visit with this week’s prompt. The box did have a sinister look about it.  Sure enough, after a precautionary soak in a tub of water, here is what was inside.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “difference.” Whatever the word “difference” conjures first in your mind, write about it. Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy little things like this and want to experience difference go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to participate.

Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/04/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-10-2021/

Difference by John W. Howell © 2021

“Hey, there, my man. Why are you hanging that wet paper on the line?”

“This is the prompt from Linda Hill.”

“Why is it wet?”

“I wanted to make sure it wasn’t from a bomber, so I soaked the package in water.”

“Surely you know the difference between Linda’s messages and something strange like a package from a bomber?”

“I don’t like to be called Shirley. Yes, I know the difference between a Chewy box and Linda’s. This one looked a little strange.”

“How so? Give me an example of the difference.”

“The return address on this one was blacked out.”

“Yeah, okay. That does show a difference.”

“There was a printed warning on the side.”

“What did it day.”

“Explosives – Do not drop.”

“A total difference for sure. Anything else?”

“Another note.”

“Which said?”

“Loud ticking is normal.”

“Hahahaha. I think Linda was playing a trick on you.”

“See, that just shows the difference between you and me.”

“What difference?”

“You laugh at everything.”

“And you frown at everything.”

“Like I said, there is a difference between us. You see the glass as half full.”

“And you see the glass as half empty.”

“Speaking of.”

“Yeah, a nice full glass of beer.”

“You’re turn to buy.”

“I’ll make it a pitcher.”

“Even better.”

“Viva the difference.”

 

 

Who thought up this stuff anyway? That’s a question we don’t have to answer cause we know it is Linda Hill. She left this message for all of us. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “start with who/whom” Begin your post with either “who” or “whom” and go from there. Have fun!” If you would like to have, fun go to Linda’s blog and see how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/04/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-3-2021/

Who/Whom by John W. Howell © 2021

“Who are you talking to?”

“You know you should really clean up your grammar. One should not end a sentence with a preposition.”

“Okay, let me rephrase that sentence. Who are you talking to, Idiot?”

“Yeah, somehow the rightness of that gets lost in the translation.”

“So who is it?”

“I was talking to myself, if you must know.”

“Nothing unusual going on here. Must be a prompt thing.”

“Yes, we are to start the post with who or whom and go from there.”

“You’ve started well. To who are you going to be directing your writing?”

“To whom.”

“That’s right.”

“No, It’s not right. You said ‘to who.”‘

“I know I did. You still haven’t told me.”

“To whom. To whom are you directing your writing?”

“I’m not writing anything. You are.”

“I’m correcting what you said. You said ‘to who’ and it should be ‘to whom'”

“Beats me.”

“What do you mean”beats me?'”

“I have no idea to who you are directing your writing.”

“At times like these, I wish there was a bounty on stupid.”

“Would you turn yourself in?”

“I might consider putting a note on my shirt.”

“What would it say?”

“To whom it may concern. Just shoot me.”

“Maybe a beer would make you feel better.”

“Who would argue with that?”

“You sure that’s not supposed to be whom?’

“Positive. Who is correct here.”

“You are always correct here. I’ll buy.”

“I think we will wrap this. who fest.”

“I still. like whom.”

“You would. Let’s go.”

 

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. I just got a delivery from FedEx and see the return address is Linda Hill. The box is light but filled with bubble wrap. I have to keep this from Twiggy since she loves to pop it.`So here is the message.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with cal.” Use a word starting with the letters “cal” as your prompt word. Have fun!

If you would like to join in for fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS March 20, 2021

Starts with Cal by John W. Howell © 2021

“It’s Saturday.”

“I know.”

“What’s the prompt?”

“It starts with Cal.”

“Who’s Cal?”

“No one. The prompt is ‘It Starts with Cal.”‘

“So, Cal starts the prompt.”

“I think I’m going to need a paper bag in a minute.”

“You hyperventilating?”

“No to cove the fact that I’m drinking bourbon straight out of the bottle.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Okay I’ll try one more time. Listen carefully.”

“I’m all ears.”

“And no brains.”

“Aw, come on. Say it one more time.”

“Okay. The prompt today is words that start with C-A-L.”

“Aw crap. Why didn’t you just say so. Words like California, Calistoga, calcium, calculation, calendar, calm, and your favorite callous?”

“Yeah now you have it. What do you mean my favorite.”

“You just strike me as a calous person.”

“I think it is more dealing with the calamity that is you makes me look that way.”

“I’ll buy that. I think it’s time for a barley and hops caloric hit.”

“You buying one who is called flush?”

“Just refer to me as on call. How about a calzone too?”

“I had my mouth set for calamari.”

“Oh, that stuff gives me a rash. I’ll need some calamine lotion after.”

“Never mine. We can stick with the calzome but I will need some calamata olives.”

“Nice try but Kalamata Olives starts with a ‘C'”

“Let’s quit and go get a drink.”

“That’s the caliber I’ve been looking for.”

“Stop it.”

“Fine. You’re driving.”