Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Bodily Functions

August 11, 2018August 10, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “bodily functions.” Yup, you heard me right. Flipping bodily functions. Linda Hill says we can write about one or a whole bunch of bodily functions. If you would like to engage in frying your brain as I do each week, please visit Linda Hill’s blog and find out how easy it is to do just that. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-11-18/

“Why so glum chum?”

“I just went up the Hill so to speak and got my prompt for today.”

“You always love these prompts. Is this one different?”

“Not different just a big challenge.”

“How so?”

“The prompt is bodily functions.”

Bruuuuhahahahah. You have to be kidding.”

“No. I’m serious. We can write about one or a whole bunch. My problem is I can only think of one.”

“Oh come on. It can’t be that bad. What is the one?”

“Pooping.”

“Whoa. You can’t write about that. Yours is a family friendly blog.”

“Yeah tell me. I did think of another.”

“Okay with some caution I’ll ask what are you thinking.”

“Breathing.”

“Yeah, now there you go. Talk about breathing.”

“I feel better already. Let’s see there are different kinds of breathing.”

“Go on.”

“When you are running you breathe harder.”

“Good.”

“When you sweat and run your breath is different. Wait, another bodily function, sweat.”

“Excellent. I think you’re going to kill this.”

“When you are quiet and resting your breath is easy.”

“Almost poetic. Go on.”

“When you kiss someone your breathing can become deeper. I got it. Saliva production is another bodily function.”

“You are the master.”

“Where was I? Oh, yes kissing. Makes the heart beat faster. Heartbeat has to be another bodily function.”

“You are taking strange paths to get there, but I have to say you are getting there.”

“Then as the kissing gets more heated—”

“Stop.”

“What do you mean, ‘stop”‘

“You are now starting to concern me again. Where are you going with this?”

“I was going to mention goosebumps. What is wrong with goosebumps?”

“Okay. Nothing wrong with goosebumps. Proceed.”

“Then if all works well there’s the orgasm.”

“One toke over the line my friend. One toke over the line.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Call”

August 4, 2018August 3, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “call.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want, including in another word as long as the letters are in the same order. So with all of that if you would like to participate, visit Linda’s blog and find out how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-4-18/

Call by John W. Howell © 2108

“You look happy.”

“I should be I just got a call from my boss.”

“Uh oh. What did you boss want?”

“Actually it was a good thing.”

“I’m dying to hear. Come on what did your boss want?”

“You know I’ve been learning calligraphy.”

“Yes, and you have been callously avoiding me.”

“Oh, come on. Those classes are callipered to wash some out if they don’t work hard.”

“Just the same, you used to make scalloped potatoes, and it has been weeks.”

“I know I have been lax. You also promised scallops.”

“Yes I did but only if you stay home one night. It shouldn’t be too hard to avoid your callers.”

“Okay, that’s a deal. I’ll make scalloped potatoes with scallions, and you make those delicious garlic scallops.”

“I almost forgot. Why did your boss call?”

“To ask if I would use my calligraphy on some invitations to a party.”

“Thank is not an exciting reason for calling.”

“No, it is not. But calling with some business is better than calling with an assignment.”

“You getting paid for the calligraphy?”

“No. The boss called it job enrichment.”

“Callow indeed.”

“Rascally too.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “T, Tea,Tee

July 28, 2018July 27, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is . . . Well, I’m going to quote Linda Hill since it is a little complex.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “T, tea, tee.” Theme your post around “tea” or “tee,” or find a word that starts with “T” and talk about that. Bonus points if you manage to incorporate all three. Enjoy!

There you have it. If you would like to join the crew, visit Linda’s blog to find out how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-28-18/

T, Tea, Tee by John W. Howell © 2108

“Tremendous prompt.”

“What? Are you having a stroke?”

“No, I just got the e-mail with the prompt for Saturday.”

“Can”t be that exciting.”

“Well, maybe not for you but for an old prompter it is a doozy.”

“What is it?”

“T, Tea, Tee.”

“Come again?”

“A word that starts with T.”

“Uh huh.”

“Tea like the drink.”

“Okay.”

“Tee like in golf.”

“And what makes all these so tremendous?”

“Extra credit.”

“Extra credit?”

“Yeah if you use all three there is extra credit.”

“Like in one sentence?”

“I guess that would be one way. It would be better to make a story around all three.”

“So let’s hear it?”

“What?”

“The story.”

“You have eaten up most of the prompt time with your questions so it will have to be short.”

“Fine with me and I’m sure the fourth wall would thank you for keeping it short.”

“Yes, well here goes. It was a lovely day for a golf match. The greens were perfect and the temperature was ideal. The three golfers approached the tee with one thing in mind. They wanted to trounce the fourth. You see every week the fourth guy would take the total match with the tiniest lead. The other three could taste victory and conspired to try to work together to maybe see the fourth go down in defeat. After the first nine holes, it was apparent that the test the three thought to try was not working. They decided over a cup of tea to tamper with the fourth’s golf balls. While he was occupied with an Earl Grey, they touched each ball with some tincture of lead. They figured with the slight added weight, the ball would tumble out of control and one of the three would be the winner. When fourth returned, they all went to the tee. The three could hardly keep a straight face as the fourth place his ball on the tee and prepared to drive it to the fairway. He swung and with a loud “thwack,” the ball disappeared from sight. The three could not believe it. The ball looked like it was going to hit the green in one stroke.`The Three looked at each other with trepidation. They all teed off, and when they reached the green, they were traumatized. The ball had tipped into the cup as they approached. “That is a fine how do you do,” said the tallest of the three. “Tiddlywinks,” said the timidest. “Tar and feathers,” said the trickiest. The fourth won that day which brings up a lesson. If you are going to cheat, know your business. Tincture of lead does not a tricky ball make.”

“And?”

“What do you mean, ‘And”‘

“Is there more?”

“No.”

“Terrible tale, tacky, turkey.”

“Thank you. I just love reviews.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Organ

July 21, 2018July 20, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “organ.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like the challenge of using the word organ go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-21-18/

“I know I see the word.”

“So you know what I’m thinking right now.”

“I think I do. You need to rise above your thoughts and do something uplifting.”

“Very funny. If you knew what I was thinking about the word “organ.” you would have never used the word uplifting.”

“Oh, whatever. Just get on with writing something that is out of the gutter.”

“How about I do the prompt describing a classical piece of music specially written for the organ?”

“I think that would be nice. We could all learn a little more about classical music.”

“I could talk about Johann Sebastian Bach and some of his music.”

“That would be nice.”

“And one of my favorites is the Organ Concerto in A Minor which is an arrangement of Vivaldi’s Violin Concerto in A Minor.”

“Wow, that would be terrific.”

“Bach composed some of the greatest music for the organ. He was an organist after all.”

“I didn’t know that. What else.”

“His first wife died and so he remarried. He fathered twenty children and over half died in childhood.”

“Goodness. Tragic side.”

“Yes, but he continued to compose through his tears.”

“Now wasn’t that better than your first thought?”

“Not sure. I think talking about the heart, lung, and liver might be just as interesting.”

“So these were the organs you were thinking about?”

“Yes. What other organs are there?”

“Okay, now it is time to move on.”

“You are so easy it’s pathetic.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Any Three Letter Word

July 14, 2018July 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

Duh. It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “Any Three Letter Word.” Linda Hill says we can use any three-letter word. Also, extra credit is available if the start of the post (nailed it) and the end of the post is a three-letter word. If you would like to tease your brain and end up like most of us, then visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 14/18

“Duh? You call that a word?”

“Yes, that’s a word. Go ahead look it up.”

“Okay, I’ll give it to you, but I have to be honest.”

“About what?”

“I thought you would be more creative being an author and all.”

“Oh please. Duh is quite creative.”

“For a hack.”

“What did you call me?”

“Nothing. I was thinking of a carriage ride in the park.”

“Don’t change the subject. If you think duh is pedestrian what word would you use?”

“I think I would use words that have some action connected to them.”

“Like what?”

“Zap, zip, jog, zig, fix, pix, mix. Hey, this is fun.”

“Why don’t you do the post then.”

“I’m not the author. Look up there.”

“Where?”

“Up on the header. Who’s name is there.”

“Mine.”

“The prosecution rests. You need to do the post but come up with a better word.”

“Fine then. How about yak?”

“Been done by that Entertaining Stories guy.”

“Gin?”

“Now that has some possibilities. What do you have in mind?”

“Well, it could go something like this. A bat, ewe, cow, ape, and bee walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they would like to drink. They each order a gin. The bat wants his upside down. The ewe orders hers in a Fuzzy Navel. The cow wants hers in milk. The ape orders a banana gin fizz, and the bee a stinger.”

“Where is this going?”

“Hold on I’m getting to the end.”

“This is a three-minute read. I would hurry up.”

“So then the bartender makes a comment about how odd to see this kind of group hanging out.”

“Then the ape asks, ‘You got a problem with animals and insects?”‘

“The bartender says, ‘Not as long as they behave yourselves.”‘

“The ape then tells his friends to drink up.”

“Why did he do that?”

“He thought he caught the bartender in a lie.”

“OMG the dumbest story ever.”

“Don’t you get it? He thinks the bartender has some prejudice against animals and insects and he wants to leave as a protest.”

“Yeah, I got it. Still dumb. I gotta go.”

“It is a societal metaphor.”

“Excuse me, but it sucks. Bye.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Sup.”

July 7, 2018July 6, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

t is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is, “sup.” Linda Hill advises that we can use it as part of a word or any other way we want. If you would like to join in and try your hand at these prompts, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-7-18/

“Sup bra?”

“What are you doing?”

“Whatchew mean?”

“Talking like a hip-hop vocal group member.”

“I’m just tryin’ to expand my cultural knowledge. Don’t get all up in my grill.”

“Stop it.”

“All righty then.”

“Cut the Pet Detective bit as well.”

“Man you are no fun. You act like my supervisor at work.”

“Please don’t tell me you were pulling some of your antics with your boss.”

“I did my famous imitation of Steve Reeves.”

“Superman? Do you know how superficial that kind of thing looks?”

“Naw, he loved it.”

“How do you know?”

“I got an award as the Most Supercilious Employee of the Week.”

“Do you have any idea what supercilious means?”

“Well, any word that has “super” in it can’t be all bad.”

“Kill the W.C.Fields impersonation and listen to me.”

“Of all the gin joints in this world you had to step into mine.”

“Thanks, Bogy. Would it help to know that supercilious means thinking you are superior to everyone?”

“Well, maybe as Superman I was.”

“Your boss was pointing out your superficiality with a word he was pretty sure you wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t think he would do that to Superman.”

“Would you please come back to reality.”

“Sure Doc.”

“Forget Bugs.”

“Sufferin’ succotash.”

“Drop Daffy.”

“T-T-That’s all folks.”

“You’ll be superb at the unemployment office.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Cheers”

June 30, 2018June 30, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

It is Stream of Conscious Saturday once again and this weeks prompt is “cheers.” Linda Hill says we can use is any way we want. (Don’t you just love the freedom of choice?)If you would like to join in go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/06/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-30-18/

“What are you looking for?”

“I’m trying to find some old episodes of Cheers.”

“I think you might have to go to YouTube for that.”

“I thought there was an On Demand channel with some of them.”

“I think you are out of luck there.”

“Yeah, I think you are right.”

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“How about going to the Bull and Finch.”

“The what?”

“The Bull and Finch. It’s the bar that was used as an outside shot for the show Cheers. I think you will get a kick out of it.”

“I thought the bar used was named Cheers.”

“Yeah, the owner changed it to Cheers, but it used to be called the Bull and Finch.”

“That sounds like fun. Why don’t we?”

“I’ll call the airline.”

“The airline? What for?”

“The Bull and Finch is in Boston.”

“And here we sit in LA. Great.”

“Ah don’t worry. five hours and we are there.”

“Will we make it by closing time?”

“Let’s see. They close at 10:00 PM Eastern time. It is now ten o’clock in the morning Eastern. A five-hour flight. An hour to the airport. An hour to the Bull and Finch when we land. We should be there by seven. Plenty of time. You in?”

“This sounds exciting. Of course, I’m in.”

“Okay. Hold on I’m calling. Hello American. I need two seats on a flight that gets us to Boston by six tonight. You do? That’s great. Yup Hold on. I need your credit card.”

“My credit card? I thought this was on you. it was your idea.”

“Yeah right? I was just trying to cheer you up so to speak.”

“How much are the tickets?”

“Twelve hundred.”

“Forget it.”

“Yeah, American. We won’t need those tickets after all. Sorry. Goodbye.”

“So what do you want to do tonight?”

“I already made my choice. You decide.”

“How about a glass of wine, some dinner, and a movie?”

“Sounds okay to me.”

“Cheers then.”

“With coffee?”

“It is only seven in the morning.”

“Cheers to you. We can do it all again tonight.”

“What?”

“The cheers thing with wine.”

“Oh that. Yes, we can. I thought you were talking about that ridiculous trip to Boston.”

No. That can wait until tomorrow.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Bug”

June 23, 2018June 22, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

It is Stream of Conscious Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “bug.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. (that’s a relief. I hate to be shoved into using a word in a way I don’t want.” If you would like to have a go at this fun visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 23/18

“Ixnay on the alktay.”

“Okay, so what weird thing do we have going today?”

“Read my lips.”

“I can’t understand a thing you are saying with those chapped lips.”

“For heaven’s sake. I think our place has a bug in it.”

“A bug? No biggie. Get some Raid.”

“Not that kind of bug you idiot. A listening device bug.”

“I see we’ve been reading too many spy novels.”

“I’m serious. I think someone is listening.”

“Okay genius. If so you have tipped them off that you know they are listening.”

“I tried to give you a sign.”

“Pig Latin is not a sign.”

“I mean with my lips.”

“You looked like you were passing gas. Your lips didn’t tell me a thing.”

“So now what do we do?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m going to confess to tearing off the mattress tags.”

“Come on. Be serious.”

“I think it’s time for you to be serious. What makes you think someone is listening.”

“Strange things happening.”

“Like what?”

“Well, I was in that fast food place and ordered a hamburger.”

“Yes?”

“You know how much I love french fries. I even said to you before I left the house that I wish I could have some fries.”

“Yeah, I remember. You want to lose some weight, so you are not having any.”

“Well, that’s just it. When I placed my order, the server said, “Do you want fries with that?”

“So?”

“How did the server know I wanted the fries unless whoever is listening called ahead and told.”

“I think you need to lay down.”

“And supersize. How did the server know to ask? It keeps going on and on. When I couldn’t find the rye bread at the supermarket how did the checker know to ask if I found everything okay?” How does the gas pump know to ask “debit or credit?”

“I’m going to call the doctor in a minute if you don’t stop.”

“You better heed these warnings. As for me, I’m going to stop talking in the house. Do you hear that Mr. CIA? No more talking.”

“My prayers have been answered.”

“What’s that?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Reservation”

June 16, 2018June 15, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time Again. This week’s prompt is ‘reservation.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. (I love the smell of freedom.) If you would like to join our merry band visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 16/18

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Who you talking to?”

“I’m on hold. I’m sort of ranting to the wind.”

“There’s no wind in the house.”

“Don’t start on me. I’m on this stupid call to make a reservation, and I’m on hold.”

“That’s pretty normal isn’t it?”

“You would think that if a restaurant requires reservations, they would have enough people to handle the calls.”

“You probably got the guy who washes the dishes at this hour.”

“What do you mean? Three o’clock is after lunch and before dinner. There should be nothing to do but answer the frickin phone.”

“Getting a little worked up I see.”

“Oh shut up. Wait the line stopped that stupid music. Oh yes, thank you for taking my call. I would like to make a reservation for Saturday night. Uh…This Saturday night. Yes, I will hold.”

“The old route you to the end of the line hold.”

“Stop. He said another call was coming in and would I mind holding.”

“Of course another call. A big rich guy who will take the last Saturday night reservation.”

“Yes, hello. That’s okay I don’t mind holding.”

“What was that?”

“He put me on hold again. Another call.”

“Good grief. Do yourself a favor and hang up.”
“No way. This is the best new restaurant in town. I’m not giving up.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Oh hi. Yes, I’m still here. Sure.”

“On hold again right?”

“He mumbled something about the kitchen. I think this is the owner.”

“Well, la de da. You are being snubbed by the owner no less.”

“Yes, that’s correct. This Saturday. Why are you laughing? No kidding. Okay, put me down for then. That is Sammy at two one zero, five five five, one two one two. Thank you. Goodbye.”

“What was that all about.”

“Nothing.”

“Come on. What time do we eat?”

“Seven o’clock. Best seat in the house.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. I heard it takes a year to get a reservation.”

“Ours is in twenty-twenty. Excuse me I have to go and mark the calendar.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt -Start with a Noun

June 9, 2018June 8, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “start with a noun.” Linda Hill describes the exercise as starting the post with a noun and then base the post on the noun. Sounds fun. If you would like to join in, go to Linda’s place and read how. Here is the link

https://lindaghill.com/2018/06/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-9-18/

“Diploma.”

“What did you say?”

“I said diploma.”

“Okay, and what is that supposed to mean?”

“Well this weekend is graduation time, and I was thinking of all the young people who are getting their diplomas.”

“So what deep thoughts do you have?”

“Nothing deep.”

“Not surprising.”

“Just a feeling of hope that all the dreams that go with a diploma have some chance of coming true.”

“You said nothing deep. This sounds pretty deep to me.”

“I don’t know about that. I do know that there is a sense of newness around being recognized for achieving academic goals.”