Mama just killed a man. Put my gun against his head pulled the trigger now he’s dead. Well, it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “ma.” Linda Hill says we can use “ma” or any word containing “ma.” Also, there are bonus points for starting the post with “ma.” Now you see why I did a riff on Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

If you would like to slowly lose your grip on reality, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to do. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1-18/

Ma by John W. Howell © 2108

“You would not believe the dream I had last night. It was a real nightmare.”

“You know dreams are only imaginary?”

“I know that, and I don’t normally pay attention to them.”

“Was this one that dramatic that it has you upset?”

“How’s this sound. David Letterman is the chairman of our company.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad. In real life that would be immaterial.”

“Yes, but I had to give a presentation to him on filmmaking. I don’t know squat about the subject.”

“So what did you do? Make up some facts?”

“I walked in and he was sitting behind this giant desk with a margarita in his hand.”

“Okay, this sounds like it is getting funny. I imagine he was pretty friendly.”

“Quite the opposite. He called my presentation the benchmark of mediocrity.”

“Oh, that’s harsh. Maybe he was drunk.”

“The whole thing ended up with him demanding my resignation.”

“What did you do with that malicious request?”

“I took it as a mandate to find another job.”

“So did you find another job and leave that dismal place?”

“I’ve been busy this morning. I need to go to Monster Dot Com on my MAC.”

“You sure you’re not being premature. After all, it was a dream. What were you doing all morning?”

“Working on my resume. Oh yes. I sent my marvelous letter of resignation.”

“You gotta be kidding me. Because of a dream, you formally resigned?”

“You had to have been there. Besides, I hate filmmaking and I think to try to succeed would be too much drama.”

“Your company makes computers. You work for a manufacturer not a filmmaker.”

“I think I have post-traumatic dream disorder. I’ll write to the boss and tell him it was a big mistake.”

“Good luck with that. Use your personal magnetism.”

” I wish I hadn’t opened the letter with ‘Dear Demanding Asshole.'”

“Yeah, that might take a little touch of diplomacy to fix.”

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “digest.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to join this band of happy souls, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-24-18/

Digest by John W. Howell © 2018

“Wow am I full.”

“Not surprising since you ate enough to feed a family of five.”

“Let me digest for a minute before hauling out the lecture material.”

“I just don’t understand how you can put away that much food.”

“Easy. Open mouth, insert food.”

“You know very well what I mean.”

“Okay, the lecture is about to begin. Give me the Reader’s Digest version if you don’t mind.”

“I’m just glad we didn’t have any guests to witness this scene.”

“Alright, that is about all I can handle. This is Thanksgiving. You’re supposed to eat a lot.”

“By a lot are you talking about four servings?”

“Well, if that’s what it takes to be thankful.”

“What about the children?”

“What about them?”

“Do you think you set a good example.”

“I don’t think they even noticed. Look at them playing over there.”

“You going to help me clean up?”

“What’s to clean up?”

“You know how these carcasses attract hyenas. I hate those things. They are always laughing and at who knows what. Gives me the creeps.”

“Darling you know I’m king of the jungle, and no damn hyena’s going to mess with me. Just so you can rest easy, I’ll drag these Zebra leftovers into the underbrush. Might be good for a snack later.”

“How can you even think of a snack.”

“Don’t you have a gazelle to chase down or something.”

“You watch the cubs. I’ll be back in a flash.”

“Take your time. I’ve got a wildebeest game to watch.”

 

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “can.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to join this happy band of psychotics visit Linda’s blog and see how easy it is to do. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/10/19/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-20-18/ 

Can by John W. Howell © 2018

“I know I can.”

“Can what.”

“Can do anything I put my mind on.”

“You can?”

“I can.”

“Show me you can.”

“Think of a word any word, and I can tell you what it is.”

“You can do that? How is it possible.”

“I can conger up spirits from the other side.”

“Who can do what?’

“They can read your mind.”

“I can just imagine what they are going to find when they do that.”

“So can you think of a word?”

“Yes, I can. I have it.”

“I can almost see it.”

“You can do better than that I hope.”

“I can see the word starts with ‘c.”‘

“Wow, you can see that? You are right.”

“I can also see that the second letter is an ‘a.”‘

“Perfect. I believe you can see the word.”

“The third letter is an ‘n.’ The word is can.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. But ‘can’ is not the word.”

“Wait a minute. You said the first three letters were ‘c-a-n.’ That spells can.”

“It does spell ‘can,’ but my word was ‘cantaloupe.’

“Well, maybe I only got part of the message. I can try again. ”

“Now you are being a pain in the can.”

 

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again and this weeks prompt is “precious.” Linda Hill has advised that we can use it anyway want and has issued an order to” have fun.” In that vein, if you would like to join the fun visit Linda’s blog and read the easy instructions. Here is Linda’s link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/10/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-13-18/

Precious by John W. Howell © 2018

“This lady at the supermarket called me ‘precious.”‘

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Around here if someone calls a person your age ‘precious’ it is not necessarily a compliment.”

“Oh really. I offered to help her with her bags is all.”

“Was she in a wheelchair?”

“No.”

“A walker?”

“How old was this lady?”

“I don’t know. About my age I guess.”

“Tell me what you said and what she said?”

“I said my those bags look heavy. Can I help you out with them?”

“A lady your age.”

“Yup.”

“What was her response.”

“Thank you no, I can manage.”

“So where does ‘precious’ come in?”

“I said, “But you look too delicate to handle such a load.”

“Oh my goodness. Now the ‘precious.”‘

“Yeah.”

“Okay give it to me.”

“Well, aren’t you precious.”

“That’s all?”

“A little more.”

“Go ahead.”

“She said, ‘I’m sure there is a little ole wife at home who needs your help. Why don’t you run along and give the little woman a hand?’ or something like that?”

“She call the manager?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s a break.”

“She showed me her gun.”

“What?”

“Yup. Seems she’s a police officer.”

“What did you do?”

“Put her bag back on the counter.”

“Anyone see all this?”

“Just Mrs. Murphy.”

“Radio Free Europe Murphy? The biggest gossip in town.”

“I guess.”

“We have no choice but to move.”

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “card.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you want to join in the madness go to Linda’s blog and read about how easy it is to participate. Here is the link to her post. https://lindaghill.com/2018/10/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-6-18/

Card by John W. Howell © 2018

“What are you doing?”

“Playing a card game. What does it look like?”

“But you keep going through that deck over and over. What game is that?”

“solitaire.”

“solitaire? I’ve never seen solitaire played that way.”

“Well, I admit it is a little unusual.”

“Have you won a game yet?”

“No.”

“How long have you been playing?”

“Today or lifetime?”

“Okay, both.”

“Today, three hours. Lifetime, twelve years.”

“You’ve used the same deck of cards all this time.”

“Yes, I have.”

“And never won?”

“Nope.”

“Any idea why not?”

“It could be because I’m playing with a deck of fifty-one.”

“Could be? Are you nuts? You can’t win with a missing card.”

“It really doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t?”

‘Haven’t you heard the expression, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.”‘

“Yeah, but this is crazy. Where did you get this idea?”

“That song.”

‘What song?”

“Flowers on the Wall by the Statler Brothers.”

“Another earworm for sure.”

“Here take a listen.”

“Rather not.”

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “dom.” Yup that’s it, dom. Linda Hill says we can use it alone or as part of another word. If you would like to join this mayhem, visit Linda’s blog and find out how easy it is to get hooked. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/09/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-29-18/

Dom by John W. Howell © 2108

“Look at this travel guide.”

“Which travel guide.”

“The one I got for our trip to Germany.”

“Humm. Did I miss something? What trip to Germany?”

“Remember we talked about taking a trip?”

“I do remember. I thought we decided on Kansas City.”

“Maybe you decided on Kansas City, but I think we ought to see a little more of the world. We have done enough of domestic travel. I want to go overseas.”

“Okay. What is special about Germany?”

“For one thing the city of Cologne has the Dom Cathedral. ”

“And what is so special?”

“It was built over 500 years and completed in 1880 and is massive. It is one of the largest churches in the world.”

“Looking at this brochure, it says, Kölner Dom.”

“Yes, the city we call Cologne is Köln in German. Kölner Dom means Cologne Cathedral.”

“Sure looks beautiful.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“Whats this Kölsch?”

“Amazing that you would spot that. It is a beer that is made locally in Köln or no more than 30 miles from the city. They say it can’t be transported too far and must be drunk on the premise. There are a number of places that have Kölsch in the city. You can’t get it anywhere else.”

“When do we leave?”

“Do you want to hear of other things to see?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

“How about other cities?”

“I think we won’t have much time after we visit all the Kölsch breweries.”

“Why don’t you let me do the predominant itinerary and then we can see how many we can visit.”

“Okay but leave enough time for a bunch.”

“I love your indomitable, and I might add random spirit.”