Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 171 By Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #171

Archie by John W. Howell © 2018

“Hey, Archie what are you doing?”

“Oh, man I have this itch that I can’t reach.”

“Itch. You gotta be kidding me.”

“No, I swear. It is driving me crazy.”

“How could that be?”

“I have no idea. There is a spot right in the middle of my back that’s killing me.”

“You better not let the curator see you moving around. You’ll get cashiered. or worse.”

“Any suggestions on getting that spot then?”

“Are you certain you can’t just wait until nighttime.”

“I think I know what the problem is.”

“Do tell.”

“The sun. It is so hot I can feel something dripping down my back.”

“Oh, now that is serious.”

“Who can we call?”

“You can’t let on that you are alive.”

“Why not? I certainly am.”

“You are made of wax. You know that. To be alive and made of wax is the stuff of horror movies.”

“So what do I do?”

“Can you back up slightly into the shade more.”

“I’m going to melt is what you are saying.”

“I don’t think it is that bad. Just hold on till nightfall.”

“It is just so hot.”

“Come on Archie, stay with me. Hush, here comes the curator.”

“Who left this archer out in the sun? Don’t you people know he could melt. Move him in the shade.”

“How’s that feel Archie?”

“I thought I was a goner. Feels better. The itch is gone. I hope tomorrow is a better day.”

“Let’s hope those guys don’t move you into the sun again.”

“Now I’m worried.”

 

 

Top Ten Things Never to Throw Away When Organizing

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

The inspiration for this list is wondering how come we hang onto things in case they may come in useful someday. This list tries to understand the motivation for holding onto items that may be past their point of usefulness.

10 When organizing, do not throw away that eight-track cassette player.  If you do, at best you’ll hate yourself in the morning. At worst, you’ll see that very same model for sale on E-Bay, and the last bid is $10,000. (Well that will teach you to be impetuous after twenty-five years of storage, huh Eric?)

9 When organizing, do not throw away that autographed photo of Tiny the WWF champ. If you do, at best it will be well hidden in a black plastic bag. At worst, Tiny just started as your garbologist after being released from self-esteem therapy and discovers the photo at the bottom of your trash can. (I’ll bet you can guess why he is pounding on your front door can’t you, Emmanuel? Here is a hint. Grab those running shoes and head out the back door. Your house and belongings can be replaced.)

8 When organizing, do not throw away that hand knit Christmas turtleneck sweater Aunt Helen gave you when you were thirteen. If you do, at best no one will know. At worst, you realize your mistake at the reading of Aunt Helen’s will where she leaves you her entire fortune if you wear the sweater once a week for a year. (Looks like she suspected you didn’t like it, Edward. Too bad you tossed it last week.)

7 When organizing, do not throw away those naked pictures of you at the beach. If you do, at best you shredded them first. At worst, you suddenly discover them on Tumblr on a site called, “Naked and Crazy.” (Better think of a good story, Elias since HR wants to talk to you about a “morals clause” violation in your employment contract.)

6 When organizing, do not throw away old tax records. If you do, at best your town’s dump is very secure. At worst, you realize when you are shopping at the food store, and your card is denied that you no longer are the only person with your social security number. (Looks like those stocks, bonds, and bank accounts are gone too, Eugene. Looks like you need to call the police.)

5 When organizing, do not throw away all your children’s school drawings and report cards. If you do, at best they won’t care. At worst, your children will want those items to relive their experiences with their kids. (Now what are you going to do, Erik? I suppose you could try to recreate the drawings from memory. Naw better yet ask the neighbor if you can borrow theirs.)

4 When organizing, do not throw away that old portable TV. If you do, at best you’ll never miss it. At worst, you’ll need it to see the last half of the Final Four Championship game since your internet and cell service went down. (Now aren’t you sorry you relied on twenty-first-century technology, Enzo? Just think you could have seen the game finish on that twentieth-century set with the rabbit ears. Now you have to wait to read the news.)

3 When organizing, do not throw away that almost new tire that you had to take off your 1978 Chevrolet to replace the front two. If you do, at best your current car has bigger wheels. At worst, you will have a blow out on your new vehicle which has no spare. (See, you could have at least used that tire as a temporary solution, Earl. Well maybe not.)

2 When organizing, do not throw away that power tool that quit working twelve years ago. If you do, at best your new device keeps working. At worst, your new gadget needs a small clip that broke which is unavailable at the parts store and was intact on the one you threw away. (Come on Emiliano this would never happen in a million years.)

1 When organizing, do not throw away those worn out shoes. If you do, at best you’ll enjoy the closet space. At worst, once they are gone, you realize you have nothing to wear to mow the lawn and work in the garden once that pair of old shoes wears out. (Well now, Elvin you have a triage problem on your remaining shoes. I know there are some favorites in there, but you gotta make a choice.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Beach Clean Up

Beach Clean up

Each year the Texas General Land Office conducts two beach clean-up along the Gulf Coast. Since 1986 over 477,000 volunteers have collected over 17,000,000 pounds of trash. Yesterday was beach clean-up in Port Aransas. The event participants are all volunteers. Each is assigned an area and then the work is done between 9:00 and 12:00.  The day was overcast in the morning which was a blessing to the workers.

Groups participate. Pictured are the Masons.

No event would be complete without a rousing send-off from the boss. The mayor is scheduled to do the duty.

At the sign-up tent, one gets a location to clean, a trash bag and water.

The objective of the clean-up.

No, the front loader is not there to help. In fact, whoever planned its appearance did not have a clue about the clean-up day. It piled sand on the entrance to the event. (now in the process of removing)

A Texas food chain sponsor

Another sponsor. Republic Services is a waste handling and recycling company.

Port A’s most popular Mexican food restaurant.

Our local food store

Here are the guidelines for safety.

Here is a group from Incarnate Word University in San Antonio. They must have had to get up at 4:00 AM to get here.

Producer and Twiggy.

A moment between Twiggy and her fans.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Spoke”

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is “spoke.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want and will get bonus points if we don’t use it in the first sentence. (well, that seems easy.) If you would like to join our happy clan visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 21/18

Spoke by John W. Howell © 2018

“Why are you holding your breath?”

“Immmaaatryntostoppmyselffromsayinaworddd.”

“What? I can’t understand you with your cheeks all puffed out and your mouth closed.”

“Waaaaaaaooooffffffff. I said, ‘I’m trying to stop myself from saying a word.”‘

“Okay, this is pretty normal. What word are you not trying to say?”

“Spoke.”

“Spoke?”

“Yeah Spoke.”

“This is another one of those Saturday Stream nightmares of yours right?”

“It is not a nightmare but a good way to hone writing skills. You could take a lesson.”

“I’ll ignore that. What does holding your breath have to do with writing skills?”

“Look at the beginning of this post.”

“What about it?”

“I started the post without using the word ‘spoke’ in the first sentence.”

“So?”

“I just got bonus points for not doing that. How easy do you think it is to start a prompt post without using the prompt word?”

“In the first sentence? Pretty easy.”

“Well maybe you think so, but I thought that beginning was pretty creative.”

“Let me try one.”

“Yeah, go ahead. Let’s see how you handle it.”

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m fine. Wait a minute. That’s not fair.”

“Why not? I didn’t use ‘spoke’ in the first sentence.”

“But your story went nowhere.”

“And you think yours is going somewhere?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Show me.”

“You and I have been talking about the prompt for the last three hundred words. I call that flash fiction at it’s finest.”

“You have to find a new hobby. You really do.”

 

Friday John Ku – TGIF

TGIF

 

It is another Friday. If you made it this far,a very enjoyable you should give yourself a pat on the back. There are only about eight more hours until you can lay the burden down and take a rest. (notice I didn’t mention those who didn’t make it. Silent prayer.)

Not much new to report. The puppy is thriving. The book is all formatted. The hills are alive with music.

Today’s John Ku Talks about when things go well.  I hope you have a delightful weekend.

Enjoy by John W. Howell © 2018

The stars are aligned,

Work and play are going well . . .

Enjoy the moment.

 

Thursday – A little Personal – Getting to Know You.

Bailey, Lucy and Twiggy

“Hey, Twiggy.  Have you thought about what you would like to do today?”

“Well, Dad. I have a couple of things on my agenda.”

“I’m here to may every one of your requests come true today.”

“Hmm. Maybe I should do some further thinking. The first thing is breakfast.”

“Coming right up. The usual?”

“Yum. For those of you who wonder. My dad’s a real jokester. The usual indeed.”

“Who are you talking to Twiggy?”

“You must know we are never alone. The fourth wall is out there.”

“Goodness. You are certainly perceptive. So what’s next?”

“How about a little playtime with Lucy and Bailey.”

“Good deal. Let’s go.”

“Morning. Lucy.”

“Hi, Boss. I see you have the little one in your arms.”

“Yup and she would like to play. I’ll set her down.”

“Hey, Lucy. Look at this toy. It is part plastic and pom-pom.”

“Hold on little one. I need to wake Bailey. She needs to get involved too.”

“Okay then. I’ll just stay here and have fun with this super toy all by myself.”

“It won’t be long. Be right back.”

“Okay, Lucy. I’m here to back you up.”

“Hey, Mom. Is it okay if we run with Twiggy?”

“You have to be careful. She is so small, and you are so big.”

“Hello, Bailey. Have you seen my toy?”

“Yes, It is right over there. I think right where you left it.”

“See the black end. That is where you grab it and run like crazy.”

“Yeah, that does look like fun. Let me go and have a conversation with Lucy.”

“Lucy. Have you played with that toy yet?

“No, not yet. What’s the problem?”

“I would have thought she would like a bone or a ball. Not some pom-pom.”

“You know Bailey. It takes all kinds. These youngsters have their own kind of fun. I know one thing though.”

“What is that?”

“You won’t catch me with that in my mouth running like an idiot across the room.”

“Gotta admit she’s cute though.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were present when Frank Plano made a statement that there was a guy in Kenosha who would swear that Jason McDonnell was in the Severide house the night of the killing. A reader asked the appropriate question, “Who wasn’t at the Severide house the night they were killed?” Jason denied he was there. We did not believe him, and we don’t know if Frank found him truthful either. Let’s get back to Jason’s office and see if we can learn more.

“I’m telling you, Frank whoever said I was in that house is lying.”

“He seemed pretty sure, boss.”

“ Who is this guy anyway?”

“I think he is a very credible witness. Well except that he’s been supplying phony prescriptions to half the town.”

“I don’t get you. What do you mean phony prescriptions?”

“He’s the local pharmacist. He’s the guy that gave Sheriff Gibson the information that Trish was on drugs. Well, he gave an opinion that Lucas was getting drugs for his sister. He also told the Sheriff that he thought Trish was buried somewhere in Kenosha.”

“Well, that part is not true. Why is he saying I was at the Severide house?”

“That part is not clear. This guy has a hundred stories, and I think he is looking for fifteen minutes of fame.”

“He is treading on some pretty dangerous ground. Slander carries some pretty costly penalties.”

“I thought you should know what the guy is saying.”

“I appreciate that. Now, what are the next steps.”

“I think I should finish up my report and let you know who killed the Severides.”

“Good idea. Can you give me a hint?”

“It is a little more complex than that. Let me say,  My case against this individual might be difficult to prove so I think I may want to set a little trap and maybe get a confession or at the very least some incriminating statement on tape.”

“This sounds dangerous. How you going to do it.”

“I’ll need your help.”

“How so.”

“You know those old Agatha Christie books and movies where everyone has gathered in a room and the inspector nails the guilty party?”

“Yeah. We going to do that?”

“Not exactly. I do intend to meet with this person and hopefully get the information I need. Otherwise, it will be my word against theirs.”

“So tell me. Who did it.”

“I need you to be patient. I don’t want any slip-ups. If you know you may inadvertently let the person know.”

“I know this person?”

“I didn’t say that. Trust me, boss. I need to set it up.”

“Okay, Frank. I must say you are acting very strange, but I’ll go with it. Let me know what I have to do.”

“Thanks, Boss. You won’t be sorry.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #170 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #170

The Simulation by John W. Howell © 2018

“How much air does he have left in there?”

“I would say about ten minutes.”

“Hello out there.”

“Yes, sir what is it?”

“You know I can hear you through the intercom?”

“Yes, we know that. We are trying to figure a way to get you out of there.”

“What do you mean by ten minutes of air.”

“Uh, that is a hermetically sealed capsule. The only air you have is what is inside. The canisters look to have about ten minutes left.”

“Don’t sugar coat it. How much time do I have?”

“My God, Man. I just told you. Ten— excuse me, Nine minutes.”

“Y’all better get humping on that solution then.”

“Well, sir. We thought we would take our lunch break now.”

“Don’t get cute. You know what I mean.”

“Unfortunately we do, sir.”

“I wish my hands weren’t handcuffed I would try to help.”

“Oh, don’t worry sir. We doubt you would be able to do too much to help.”

“Why say something mean like that?”

“Not to point out the obvious but you were the one insisting on the handcuffs.”

“Makes for a better simulation.”

“And I have the key. See it here.”

“I see it. I gave it to you when we closed the hatch.”

“That you did sir. Tell me again what you hoped to accomplish?”

“This is going to be the greatest escape trick ever. An astronaut handcuffed in space does the amazing feat of freeing himself and then gliding to earth.”

“You insisted on locking the hatch as well.”

“Of course. Don’t you see how difficult it will make the trick seem.”

“Not only seem, sir. But in reality almost impossible.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember when you grabbed the key just as the hatch slammed shut.”

“Yes, I wanted to be able to open it.”

“Good thinking, sir. Except, the key works from the outside. The hatch automatically locks when shut. Hmm. Six minutes.”

 

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Photographing Doors

 

Thursday Doors

 

The inspiration for this list is the Thursday Door prompt as interpreted by Dan Antion. I have often thought when looking at his photos what would happen if certain things went wrong. So here they are, and I’m glad to report Dan has done none of these things.

10 If you are taking door photos, do not ignore that no trespassing sign. If you do, at best you’ll get a warning shot. At worst, the owner will have a pack of wild dogs trained to discourage trespassing. (You finally found out how quickly you can run, Donahue. Too bad those dogs are faster.)

9 If you are taking door photos, do not keep shooting pictures while Tiny, the WWF Champ is waving at you. If you do, at best, he is friendly. At worst, he just entered the witness protection program and thinks you are on the opposite team. (This would be a good time to try out those new Nike running shoes, Donato. Oh dear, you forgot to wear them? Try not to scream then.)

8 If you are taking door photos, do not try to shoot and drive. If you do, at best, you’ll get many photos of your reflection. At worst, you are so occupied you miss that curve. (Looks like you are in someone’s bedroom, Donny. I think I would make up a story and fast.)

7 If you are taking door photos, do not continue to back up without looking behind you. If you do, at best you’ll fall into a flower bed. At worst, you now know the meaning of free fall, Dontell. I don’t think flapping your arms is going to help. You can try it though.)

6 If you are taking door photos, do not forget to keep your thumb out of the field of vision. If you do, at best one or two will turn out. At worse, your door photos all have a significant close up of your thumb. (No matter how you try to sell the shot as artistic, Duante, everyone knows what really happened.)

5 If you are taking door photos, do not become distracted by the obscure. If you do, at best some of your fans might enjoy the “door to the alley” shot. At worst, that close up of a ham sandwich looks to be anything but a ham sandwich. (Looks like those comments are not going in your favor, huh Dorion?)

4 If you are taking door photos, do not focus on only those door you like. If you do, at best your audience will fade. At worst, after the one-hundredth shot of the Burger King entrance, someone will mercifully take your camera away from you. (You’ll be able to get it back, Doughall after a hundred hours of community service.)

3 If you are taking door photos, do not try to include exciting people. If you do, at best they’ll only cover up the door. At worst, you’ll have someone in your shot who has a thing about obscene gestures. (Okay I would take that one over, Draven. This is a family post after all.)

2 If you are taking door photos, do not think the weather will co-operate. If you do, at best some will think that door photo with snowflakes is artistic. At worst, your light setting will be thrown off by the repeated lightning strikes. (You need to find cover, Driscol. You also need to get some rubber shoes for grounding. My goodness the last bolt did some funny things to your hair.)

1 If you are taking door photos, do not think you need to have each one be perfect. If you do, at best you will shoot so many that you run out of memory. At worst, you will photo shop the photo until it no longer looks like the door you shot. (What makes you think folks want to see a business building door look like the entrance to the Vatican, Duff?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Belt Sander Races

There is a saying around town that we now know things are getting back to normal after Hurricane Harvey. Evidence of regular is as follows:

Belt Sander races

The popcorn machine and coffee pot are back in operation at the ACE Hardware store.

The lights at Alister and Avenue C are now working.

The Belt Sander Races are on again at the Gaff. The truck in the foreground is the Gaff delivery vehicle or a chicken coop. No one knows for sure.

Here is a photo of the race contestants.

Here is the track. Notice the extension cords running the length of the path. That’s so the belt sanders can keep going.

The spectators are fueling up for an afternoon of racing. There is music as well. The one thing that is missing is the roof.  Last year there was a roof.

The announcers stand.

A warning to parents about rowdy kids.

Pit crew

A bold statement but as far as I know totally true.

One last look at the contestants.