Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

April 4, 2018April 3, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

Wednesday Story Day again and last week we were treated to another Frank Plano interrogation. This time it was Trish’s turn to come under the white-hot light. Frank asked the question on whether she has sex with the lawyer Jason McDonnell and she reacted as if he had made a statement of fact. It was an exciting moment, but now I see Trish barging into Jason McDonnell’s office and right by the receptionist who is now chasing Trish as she bursts through Jason’s door. I must say this could be good. Let ’s get over there.

“Why Ms. Severide. How nice to see you. I didn’t realize you were on my appointment schedule today. It is okay Mrs. Peterson. I will talk to Ms. Severide.”
“Yes, sir. Shall I close the door.’
“I would appreciate that. Thank you.”
“Cut the crap, Jason.”
“You seem a tad upset. Would you like to take a seat?”
“Don’t give me that lawyer voice, Jason. I’m really upset with you.”
“Upset. Why on Earth are you upset?”
“You had that hound dog of yours come and ask me if you and I had sex?”
“I did no such thing, Trish.”
“You told him we had sex then?”
“ Trish, believe me. I did not say such a thing. Why would I?”
“I don’t know. Maybe to get him to believe you and I have a thing or to brag. I’m confused.”
“See it makes no sense. Did Frank tell you I told him?”
“No, he said something like other people have no integrity.”
“So he was just fishing I think.”
“Why would he care about what you and I do?”
“Frank is a very thorough investigator. I think when things are at loose ends he wants to ties them up.”
“What does that mean?”
“Someone told him you and I were lovers. That’s what I mean.”
“Oh, Jason. Now I’m scared. Who is spying on us?”
“You know Trish when I took this case I did it because I thought Lucas was being railroaded by Sheriff Gibson. I’m beginning to think this is a much bigger deal than just finding out the facts behind Lucas’ innocence.”
“That scares me even more.”
“Here let me hold you. You have nothing to be afraid of as long as I’m here.”
“This always feels good. I don’t care what people say. I love being in your arms.”
“There are some mean folds out there and I’m going to find out what they are up to for sure.”
“I feel so much better now. I’m glad I came.”
“Yes, I always love seeing you.”
“Mostly without clothes though.”
“Now, you be good and let me handle this.”

“Will I see you later?”
“I’ll call you.”
“Okay then. Till later. Bye.”
“Give us a kiss. Till later then. Please close the door. Thanks.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #168 by Keith Channing

April 3, 2018April 2, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo.

“So why did you hit me?”

“You’re being a jerk.”

“I still don’t think that is a reason to slug me in the arm.”

“Quit being a crybaby. I didn’t hurt you.”

“Yes, you did. I think I’m going to have a bruise.”

“Oh please. I barely touched you.”

“So what makes you think I’m a jerk?”

“What else would I think. Did you hear yourself?”

“My self? What about you? You marched in here and without a howdy do and started issuing orders. I could report you to HR you know.”

“Oh, Come on. You and I have worked together long enough that you don’t have to resort to chicken tactics.”

“Now you are threatening me and denying me due process. There’s another charge.”

“Come off it. Take a look at these papers, and I think you will be pleased enough to forget all this foolishness.”

“What do you have there?”

“Just the biggest order we have ever had.”

“Let me look. My goodness, this is big.”

“And all the credit will fall to you.”

“You’re the one who wrote the order. Why would I get the credit. You trying to bribe me?”

“Come on boss. You know that everything I do, people believe it’s because of your fine leadership.”

“Well, I am a good leader, aren’t I? Just no more punching.”

“Yes, boss. Anything you say.”

The Top Ten Things Not to Do When Talking to a Customer Service Representative

April 2, 2018April 2, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

The inspiration for this list came to me as I was engaged in discussions with a customer care representative. The positive side is the creation of this list.

10 If you are talking with customer care, do not forget that “Customer Care.” is an oxymoron. If you do, at best you’ll retain hope of getting your problem resolved. At worst, you will continue to pull on your hair until a large area of exposed scalp occurs. (Now, don’t you look good, Derwin. Folks are going to be asking about that bald spot on the side of your head. I would make up some kind of medical treatment story.)

9 If you are talking with customer care, do not forget they have your address. If you do, at best you won’t insult tiny the WWF champ. At worst, you will challenge Tiny to meet you outside. Tiny just graduated from his tenth stint of anger management, and he is more than glad to take you up on your offer since he still doesn’t get the management part. (Who’d a thought Tiny was in the next town, Deveon. I don’t think I would go out to meet him no matter how many rocks he throws at your house.)

8 If you are talking with customer care, do not become impatient if the rep can’t understand or hear you. If you do, at best they will hang up. At worst, you will be put into the penalty box for an hour cooling off period. (One nice thing about being on hold, Deverel is you get to listen to music that sounds like it is piped through sandpaper. Don’t get upset by that announcement every minute that tries to convince you of your importance to the company as a customer. They don’t give a rip.)

7 If you are talking with customer care, do not give any helpful information before the rep asks for it. If you do, at best you’ll be repeating yourself often. At worst, the rep will become confused, and your problem will only be made worse by a duplicate shipment.(Yeah that second shipment was as wrong as the first huh, Deylin. This time though it cost twenty dollars more. Good luck on returning two.)

6 If you are talking with customer care, do not ask to speak to a supervisor. If you do, at best you’ll get another rep worse than the first. At worst, you’ll get a supervisor who was told by the boss to reduce call times and refunds. (That was a delightful two-second conversation, Diarmid. I’ll bet you are trying to translate the phrase, “Get off the phone,” as it related to your problem, right?)

5 If you are talking with customer care, do not try to be friendly by asking where the rep is located. If you do, at best you’ll get, “Somewhere in the World,” as an answer. At worst, the rep will interpret your friendliness as a hostile threat much like the previous one hundred hostile threats before you. (That tone you hear means you have been disconnected, Dilan. Don’t call back for a while. Maybe that rep will need to take a break.)

4 If you are talking with customer care, do not try to impress the rep with your long-standing good customer profile. If you do, at best the rep will not laugh openly in your ear. At worst, the rep will put you on speaker phone so that the rest of the reps in the calling center can have a good laugh at your expense. (Now that you think of it, Dimas there are other outlets which might welcome your business.)

3 If you are talking with customer care, do not think the rep is qualified to solve your problem. If you do, at best you will be confused as to why the solution is so difficult. At worst, you will end the call and give a ten out of ten rating only to find the problem is still there. (Not only is the problem still there, Dino but now is complicated by a bill collector pounding on your door.)

2 If you are talking with customer care, do not have mistakenly called another company. If you do, at best the rep will spot the problem right away. At worst, the rep will provide excellent service to no avail when it is discovered you are not returning a John Deere tractor. (How could the customer service numbers for the two companies be so close, Dmitri? You sure you dialed correctly? Now give that nice person a ten-star rating. After all, you were only on the phone for an hour.)

1 If you are talking with customer care, do not call if you have anything else in the world to do. If you do, at best you’ll finally give up for the lack of time. At worst, you will continue to hang on while that doctor appointment scheduled for three hours after you started the call will go unattended. (You know in your heart that the doctor was more important than getting the right lamp, Dolphus. You just felt you were close enough to victory to hang on just a little longer. Well, the doc is going to bill you. Better you should have tossed the lamp and ordered another one.)

Views of the Neighborhood

April 1, 2018March 31, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

Here are a few photos that should serve as a catch-up kind of post. The reason this situation has occurred is my Producer is out of town for puppy pick up duty. Usually, she has investigated what is going on in Port Aransas and sets up the shooting schedule. Well left to my own devices you can see what happens. We all miss the Producer I’m sure.

Looking North, this looks much like Spring Break. There is a difference most of these people are adults.

Same kind of scene looking south.

The kites were out in force.

A couple of more beauties.

Notice there are no police cars. Mostly families enjoying the sun.

Full moon last night.

Finally, a shot of a storm over the Gulf taken last September but I never ran it. (this is called filler)

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Bun”

March 31, 2018March 30, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “bun.” Linda Hill further advises that the word bun can be used as part of a word or alone. If you would like to participate in this prompt, hop like a bunny (oh my) over to Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-30-18/

Bun by John W. Howell @ 2018

“Bun in the oven. Bunsen burner. Easter Bunny.”

“What are you doing?”

“I signed up for the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt.”

“And you have lost your mind?”

“No, I’m trying to get a story developed around this week’s prompt.”

“Let me guess. The prompt is bun.”

“You are amazing.”

“So how hard can it be? How about a bun vendor who has a magic bun that he gives to a bun eater.”

“That is your story, not mine.”

“Why does it have to be yours anyway.”

“There are rules.”

“And if you break them you go to jail right?”

“It is a matter of pride and honesty.”

“Okay then put on your thinking cap and get a story going.”

“Okay here goes. There is this guy who is a bun vendor and has a magic bun. He gives it to a princess who needs the bun to attract the bun eating prince.”

“Why would the guy give away a magic bun?”

“He was actually a frog before the princess kissed him and now he needs to show his gratitude.”

“Gratitude for rising to the exalted position of bun vendor?”

“Well, he is human now and happy about that.”

“So no more fly eating.”

“May I finish.”

“You go.”

“Okay, so the princess takes the magic bun with her to the ball.”

“What ball?”

“The prince is throwing a ball to meet all the fair ladies in the kingdom.”

“A fine point left out of the story.”

“A big line forms and the ladies are meeting the prince.”

“Before cocktails? That must have been nerve-wracking.”

“Yes. I mean, may I continue?”

“Knock yourself out.”

“The princess gets in line and finally approaches the prince. She reaches out and has the bun hidden in her palm. She and the prince look into each other’s eyes as they eagerly grasp each other’s hand.”

“Wow. Romantic or what?”

“They pull together and as if magnetized, touch lips.”

“Okay. Now we are getting somewhere.”

“The magic bun melts in their fevered grip forming a permanent bond between the two.”

“And they live happily ever after right?”

“Well, let’s just say the magic bun did its job.”

“What does that mean?”

“The prince was turned into a frog and the princess had a frog attached to her hand.”

“OMG. Are you nuts?”

“Well, unlike every other prince in the kingdom, the bun vendor didn’t mind the frog and married the princess.”

“His plan all along?”

“He was the only one living happily ever after.”

“You need professional help. You know that?”

“Here, have a bun.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

March 30, 2018March 29, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

Another week in the bag. (so to speak). We are happy that all the repairs have been made at our house. Yesterday was the first day in six months that no one was scheduled to come in and do something. The sound of silence is deafening. I have to say after all the angst and loss of hair, the house looks great.

Here is the photo I ran on this blog before the flooring work started.

So here is the finished item. Wider planks, darker wood, more texture in keeping with a beach house.

Today’s John Ku talks about the new normal in a disaster area. I hope you have a great weekend.

Normal completion,

Can be months instead of weeks . . .

Learn patience virtue.

Thursday – A Little personal – New Arrival

March 29, 2018March 28, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 122 Comments

“Hey, Boss.”

“Hi, Lucy. How are you today?”

“Not sure.”

“What’s the problem?”

“There’s a pile of stuff over there that I don’t recognize.”

“Mom is putting the things she will need for the puppy arrival.”

“I know you mentioned a puppy, but are you actually going to adopt one? Look at this stuff Bailey.”

I see it. Yeah, Pops. Come clean. What’s going on?

Okay, Girls. Here’s the deal. You know Mom, and I believe in the rescue of animals?”

“Yes, Boss and Baily and I love you for that.”

“Well, there is an organization named Dog Ranch Rescue who have as a mission to rescue enslaved dogs from puppy mills.”

“This story could take a while, so I’m going to go and lay down.”

“Okay, Bailey. You can listen from the couch. As I was saying, the rescue people go to auctions and buy as many puppy mothers as they can.”

“Puppy auctions? What are those, Pops.”

“These are places where breeders sell dogs they no longer want. Maybe the dogs are older or have had too many litters. Anyway, this group buys these dogs to give them freedom from being used in puppy mills.”

“Puppy mills sound like a bad place to be if you are a puppy.”

“That’s true, Lucy. They are even worse places for mothers of puppies. Sometimes the group is able to buy a mother who already has puppies inside her. Then this is an opportunity to free the mother and have the puppies born in freedom as well. Which brings us to Little Twiggy.”

“Twiggy? Is that the puppy’s name?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Can we see her?”.

Well, I happen to have a photo taken by her foster mom for Easter, and you can also go to the Dog Ranch Rescue website. The group gave her the name Maraschino which is her name on the site. We are naming her Twiggy.”

“OMG Pops. She is so cute. Is she a boxer?”

“No Bailey she is a French Bulldog, and she was born free.”

“When is mom going to get her?”

“Good question Lucy. Mom will get her in the Dallas area on Saturday, and she will be here on Monday.”

“Monday? Why so long?”

“You remember Dr. Hay in San Antonio don’t you?”

“Aw, he’s the best.”

“Yes, well, mom has to stop there so that Twiggy can have a complete physical and then she’ll be home. What do you think?”

“Yay, a baby sister.”

“I think you will like her Bailey. How about you Lucy?”

“I love babies. She is in my heart already.”

“You two are going to love her.”

Tuesday-Anything Possible-Kreative Kue #167

March 27, 2018March 26, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo

“What did you do?”

“Me? Nothing.”

“Where did all this steam come from?”

“How do I know? I was just taking a picture of that crawly thing when it came up from the grate. Wait. Don’t walk on it.”

“I wasn’t going to walk on it. I wanted to see if it is hot.”

“With your foot?”

“I don’t want to stick my hand in it.”

“Get back away. Of course, it’s hot.”

“How do you know?”

“I can feel the heat from here.”

“What crawly thing were you taking a picture of?”

“You didn’t see it?”

“No what did it look like?”

“Sorta like a centipede.”

“Ew. I’m glad I didn’t see it. Where is it now?”

“It jumped into the grate just before the steam came out.”

“Where do you think it went?”

“I’m sure I don’t know, but I’ll tell you one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Where ever it went I’m sure it is dead. That must be a thousand degrees down there.”

“Should we be worried?”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe an earthquake or volcano?”

“Oh please. This is a little disturbance is all. Nothing ever happens like that here.”

“That’s a relief. How about some lunch?”

“I heard they have a great place around the corner.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“I bought a guidebook.”

“Let me see it.”

“Okay, here on page 45 starts the list of the top restaurants in Pompeii.”

“You feel that?”

“Whoa, I sure did.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Four Hour Car Trip Alone

March 26, 2018March 25, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

This list was inspired by my recent four-hour one way trip to Galveston. I had to keep reminding my self to avoid each of these things which I managed to do.

10 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not decide to set up a new playlist on Spotify while driving. If you do, at best you’ll take a wrong turn. At worst, you’ll get pulled over by a small town police officer who thinks you are texting and driving. (Lucky the officer is a Dead Head and let you go after a twice run through of “Keep on Truckin” huh, Dawud?)

9 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not pick up hitchhikers. If you do, at best they will be a traveling preacher. At worst you’ll pick up Tiny the WWF champ who has just jogged for ten miles and tells you he thinks he needs a shower. (What gave you a clue, Daylin? Maybe the steamed up windows or the fact that your air freshener exploded?)

8 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not continue to update the GPS system looking for a shorter route.. If you do, at best you’ll end up at a dead-end street. At worst, after four hours the system will route you to a point where you realize you are one state over from your destination. (Best to keep your hands off the system, Dearborn. Maybe it is time to deal with those trust issues.)

7 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not think you need to pass every car on the road. If you do, at best you get stuck behind a slow-moving truck and pass through a speed trap ten miles under the limit. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the oncoming lane with someone at your side who has the same objective. (Is he actually wearing a death’s-head mask, Declan? Maybe you better hit the brake and get back in your lane. I know, tough decision.)

6 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not decide to do e-mails on your phone. If you do, at best you’ll trash the most important. At worst, you will get so engrossed that you miss the road closed sign. (Looks like you are buried in mud, Delany. Hope you have Triple A.)

5 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not try to stay alert with copious amounts of caffeine. If you do, at best there will be plenty of rest areas. At worst you didn’t pay attention to the sign Last Rest Area for 100 Miles and now you are sweating like an overworked racehorse. (Even the descriptor of racehorse brings up increased tension, Delmar. Why is all the land around you flat and lacking vegetation?)

4 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not start singing and using stage gestures along with the show tune on the radio. If you do, at best those going the opposite way won’t call the State Police to report a crazy person behind the wheel. At worst, they will. (You passed the touch nose test, Demitri. Now, let’s see how that straight line walking goes.)

3 If you are alone on a long trip, do not think you are safe going nine miles an hour over the speed limit. If you do, at best you won’t see any police. At worst, you will meet a friendly State Trooper who writes up everyone who is five miles per hour over the limit. (The nice part about being caught in a small town is the folks in jail are very friendly, Derby.)

2 If you are alone on a long trip, do not think you can drive and let your mind wander at the same time. If you do, at best the rumble strips will pop you back to reality. At worst, you’ll have just solved that plot conundrum at the same time you end up in a ditch. (The sad thing is that solution flew out your very broken window when you rolled the car, Deron.)

1 If you are alone on a long trip, or any trip, do not text and drive. If you do, at best there will be no consequences. At worst, you might be in a position to regret your action for the rest of your life, Derry.)

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Picture”

March 24, 2018March 23, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “picture.” We are supposed to write about a picture that we see when we sit down to write. Unfortunately, my regular writing place which has lovely pictures is overrun with workers installing new flooring. I will have to write about the picture in my head.

“So what picture have you formed in your head?”

“I’m sitting on a desert island under a palm tree.”

“What are you doing there?”

“Basking in the sweet peace and quiet.”

“Is there anyone there with you?”

“Let me see. Nope. There is only me, the sand, and the crystal clear water. Oh yes, there are palm trees too.”

“Aren’t you lonely?”

“I just got here for heaven’s sake. By the way, where did you come from?”

“Me? I’m just a figment of your imagination.”

“Who asks a lot of questions.”

“Well, it must be your enquiring mind.”

“Okay so let’s just go with it. What else do you want to know?”