Tag: The Last Drive

Top Ten Things Not to Do During the NFL Conference Championships

~ John W. Howell ~ 97 Comments
Photo by Adrian Curiel on Unsplash

The inspiration for this list is a jam-packed three weeks of American football playoffs. (Notice, Dale, I called out the distinction.) You may not be a fan, but if you are, here is a friendly list of things not to do.

Top Ten Things Not to Do During the NFL Conference Championships

10 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not talk smack about your team’s opponent. If you do, at best, your team will move on to the Super Bowl. At worst, you may be served a big dish of cold crow by all who heard your talk. (You were sure your team would win, huh, Bunky. Now you have a full year of black poultry eating.)

9 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not plan anything important on that Sunday. If you do, at best, you’ll disappoint others. At worst, you will miss the game. (It just so happened your team lost by one point as the opponents went for the extra two points with two seconds to play. Way to let them down, Tex.)

8 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not think you can run to the store for basic food and beverage items. If you do, at best, you’ll get there and back before the first game. At worst, you’ll join one hundred of your fellow fans in a frenzy at halftime, fighting over the last bag of Cheetos. (Don’t be afraid. Tiny, the WWF champ, is asking you nicely to let go of that six-pack. He only gets mad if you ignore his growl, Merle.)

7 During the NFL Conference Championships, don’t try to grill dinner without a TV close at hand. If you do, at best, you’ll miss key plays watching that steak. At worst, you planned to time the steak for halftime but now have something resembling blackened cedar plank. (You totally forgot about the meat, right, Buford?)

6 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not accept an invitation to a house where you have no idea of the media capabilities of the host. If you do, at best, you will try to watch the game on inferior equipment. At worst, your host was not aware of the playoffs, and besides, he and his family have taken a no-TV pledge. (The only set in the garage is a black and white rabbit-eared portable that sparks when you turn it on, Bruce..)

5 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not try to entertain your in-laws during the game. If you do, at best, you will have a difficult time handling both assignments. At worst, your in-laws will no longer be interested in the game and will ask if they can watch the movie Heidi instead. (Well, Ferd. You did try, and now you must turn to Heidi on this TV and go to your room.)

4 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not answer your phone. If you do, at best, it will be your talkative sister who doesn’t have a clue about football. At worst, it will be your boss who has no life and has decided to call a strategy meeting that should go on until midnight. (You could have said you were sorry on Monday, Pud.)

3 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not allow anyone you don’t know in your house. If you do, at best, you will be interrupted to play host to them. At worst, just your luck, the couple from your spouse’s work wants to share with you the idea that they think football is a metaphor for the male-dominated society and they believe it should be banned. (If you knew these people, you could tell them to have a big cup of shut the f*#k up, huh, Pilgrim?)

2 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not try anything funny or different with your TV. If you do, at best, you will only trip the circuit breaker. At worst, you will mess up enough to take out the city grid. (The news says the power will be back on around midnight, Buster. You can watch the game on your iPad, provided the battery holds. If not, there is always the Today Show recap. Way after Al Roker and the weather.)

1 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not overserve yourself even if things are not going well for your team. If you do, at best, the end of the evening may come too early. At worst, getting carried away with the game ended with a toss of your remote aimed for the referee which passed through the big screen on its one-thousand-mile trip. (Until then, it was an exciting game, huh, Dip?)

 

Views of the Neighborhood – After The Holidays

~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

Today, we will tour the neighborhood and check out the holiday decorations that are still up but shouldn’t be. Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas today, which is a good reason to keep the decorations displayed. It is also okay to keep decorations up for as long as someone wants, but they should be in good condition and look like they are being done on purpose, not just forgotten. We are only going to see the decorations that have been neglected, not the ones left on purpose. We are catered by Salty Sow of Austin. Our entertainment is Roy Orbison.

Menu

CRISP CHICKEN THIGHS

fried smashed potatoes, neck bone gravy

CANDIED PORK BELLY

collard greens, pot liquor, soy balsamic syrup

RANGER CATTLE WAGYU CHEESEBURGER

caramelized onions, gruyere cheese, pickles, Salty Sow special sauce, duck fat fries
– add béarnaise to fries +1

SLOW COOKED BEEF SHOULDER

mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, fried egg

PETITE BONE-IN FILETS

mixed mushrooms, red wine sauce

SMOKED PORK CARNITAS

avocado, tomatillo salsa, corn torillas, bbq hominy

GENUINE BLACKENED REDFISH

quinoa + lentils, smoked tomato, chipotle Tabasco lemon butter

Picture of an old time school bus

Let’s go

Our first look is some candy canes past their prime. Leaners are losers.

Busted flat in Baton Rouge

Can you say fire hazard? Dry as a bone, I’d say.

Here’s one display that probably never should have been put out, let alone leave it beyond its expiration date.

It’s one of those fan-driven crazy Santa that needs to be put out of its misery.

Tired fawn past its bedtime.

The falling wreaths pass by my window.

What looks like a crime scene of dead inflatables.

Please help me. I’ve fallen and can’t get up.

The best for last. Way overserved inflatables. Just shows that cornhole and vodka do not mix well.

That is our tour today. Relax, have some food, and listen to the music. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Just Do It “

~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

Today’s treat is a steaming cappuccino made right here in the kitchen. The whole milk is steamed, and the shot of espresso is delivered, and here it is. A couple of shakes of cinnamon and a sip of the foamy goodness turns my mind to the clock.

In a discussion with Resa McConaghy, she mentioned that returning to July 27th, 1940, might be interesting. Looking up the date, it is when Bugs Bunny made his first appearance. I asked Resa why we should visit that date, and she said, “Just do it.” So the clock is set for the date, and the time is set for 7:00 PM. We will stay a couple of hours. The cappuccino is drained, and we are off.

™Warner Brothers

So we arrive at the movie theater in West Orange, New Jersey. The crowd has just started to go into the theater. It now occurs to me why the CEO of Warner Brothers gifted the clock. It was so we could go back and enjoy the Bugs Bunny debut. Let’s all relax and enjoy Bugs’ big moment. Thanks to Resa for the idea.

The alarm goes off as the lights come up, and I’m sitting on the couch with an empty cup. A text comes in from Linda Hill. It reads. Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 6th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “Just do it.” Use the phrase “just do it” somewhere in your post, or write a post in the spirit of the phrase. Enjoy!

If you want to see what others do with the prompt, visit Linda’s post

https://lindaghill.com/2024/01/05/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2024-daily-prompt-jan-6th/

Just Do It by John W. Howell © 2023

“That was fun.”

“I agree. It was good to see Bugs in his first feature.”

“He certainly has had a career, hasn’t he?”

“Yes, he has. He is the most popular Warner Brothers character.”

“It is hard to believe he has been around for almost 83 years.”

“I don’t want to say anything, but it is hard to believe the author of this blog has been around for about the same time.”

“Yeah, I think we should leave that one alone. Changing the subject for a minute, I noticed the prompt is “Just Do It.”

“Yup. That’s what Linda came up with.”

“A company had that as a slogan. Which one was it?”

“It was Nike.”

“Oh yeah.”

“How about you and I just do it and get to the pub?”

“Uber is sitting over there.”

“Wow, that’s a 1940 Ford Deluxe. What a beauty.”

“I thought you would be pleased.”

“I don’t know where you find these Uber drivers, but I’m not going to complain.”

“Today, that is.”

 

 

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

~ John W. Howell ~ 74 Comments
Kassy and her two litters – released from the Zoo.

Today’s good news story comes from the Good News Network. Here it is in its entirety.

This Golden Retriever is Nursing 3 African-painted Painted Dog Pups at Indiana Zoo After their Mother Abandoned Them

By

Andy Corbley

At the Potawatomi Zoo in Indiana, a mama golden retriever has her paws as full as can be these days looking after a huge litter of pups—but half aren’t hers.

The Zoo had the unhappy issue of an African-painted dog who was a first-time mom and wasn’t displaying the level of care required to raise her litter of 8 pups. The Zoo’s canine team knew they had to act fast.

The group wanted to use a surrogate mother because the African-painted dog relies on the social group into which it was born. The Indiana Council for Animal Welfare connected the Zoo with a golden retriever named Kassy, who just gave birth to a litter of her own.

But even with Kassy’s love and attention, the litter of 8 experienced some cases of failure to thrive owing to a lack of presence from members of their species. However, three individuals were resilient and survived. Due to the delicate nature of baby animals, their names were simply Blue, Red, and Orange—identity codes to various shades on their coats to prevent their caretakers from becoming too attached.

The three will form a new social group in an enclosure next to the one into which they should have been welcomed. Abandoned more or less by their mom, the canine team at the Zoo is wary that reintegrating them as pups will cause conflict for the same reason they were abandoned. They will live separately and perhaps reunite in adulthood.

African painted dogs might be one of the more resilient African animals due to their limited value to poachers and large litter sizes, but because they need tens of thousands of acres to roam and hunt, fragmentation of habitat has caused them to become endangered.

The painted dogs, now 11 weeks old – released by the Zoo

“It has been an emotionally exhausting and challenging journey for the team, but it is the Zoo’s mission to work toward the preservation of wild species,” the Zoo said in a press release concerning the pups

“Sometimes the journey is smooth, and sometimes it takes extraordinary measures. These three healthy, active pups are just the start of this story, and the Zoo hopes to share more positive updates of their milestones in the future.”

Red, Orange, and Blue are thriving under Kassy’s care and are now 11 weeks old. They will hopefully live on to produce pups of their own that may return someday to Africa, but in the meanwhile, their early struggles present critical lessons to zoo visitors on the delicate nature of wild social structures and how important it is that animals are given their own space.

The good news here is the zoo folks took decisive action to save the pups. Today’s JohnKu talks about saving lives. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Precious by John W. Howell © 2023

There is no value,

That can be placed on a life . . .

All remain precious.

Thursday – A Little Personal- Twiggy Off Leash.

~ John W. Howell ~ 123 Comments

“Wait, don’t we need my leash and harness?”

“Nope, today is the day you are allowed in the yard with no leash.”

“Wow, this is different. Going down the stairs with no support.”

“I thought you would like it.”

“I do, but it feels different. There is no one leading.”

“That’s true. You are on your own.”

“Well then, see ya.”

“You go girl.”

“Hey. What’s this?”

“It is a fence. It’s there, so you won’t run onto the rocks.”

“Gee, is the turf all I get to explore?”

“No, you can go into the rock area.”

“How do I do that with a fence blocking the way.”

“You ask the friendly gatekeeper to open a gate for you.”

“Now that’s handy. I hope you will always be here to open it.”

“Don’t worry. There is always one of us to wait on you hand and foot.”

“I like hearing that. There are some neat scents out here on the patio.”

“Well, enjoy them.”

“Of course, with the damp and all, it may be time to go in.”

“It is up to you. I’ll stay as long as you want.”

Well, Dad. Part of being free is being able to decide when to go.”

“I’ll give you that.”

“Not exactly my optimum conditions. No sun and drizzle.”

“You’re the boss.”

“Let’s head for the barn.”

“You sound like a barn sour pony.”

“Well, all I know is there are snuggles inside.”

“Did you enjoy your freedom?”

“I can’t tell you how good it felt to feel the wind in my hair.

“That is music to my ears.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Prompt – Kreative Kue #413 by Keith Channing.

~ John W. Howell ~ 74 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

You can visit Keith’s post. Here’s the link. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2024/01/01/kreative-kue-413/

The photo.

Chores by John W. Howell © 2023

“Uncle Trevor. What are you doing up there?”

“Just doing my chores, son.”

“Chores?”

“Yup. Mom told Me I should be more useful around the house.”

“I hate to mention this, but we’re dogs.”

“Oh, I know fully well what we are. That doesn’t stop Mom from wanting a little help.”

“What about the upright white-haired one?”

“Dad? Come on, he’s busy with his writing and art.”

“So it is up to you to help out?”

“That’s right. I wouldn’t plan on overstaying your welcome either ’cause you might be in the same pickle.”

“Yeah, I’m leaving tomorrow. Let me ask you a question.”

“Shoot.”

“How are you going to put away the dishes? You have no thumbs.”

“Put away the dishes?”

“That’s what you are doing, right?”

“Oh, heck no.”

“What then.”

“I just chased a gopher into the open dishwasher, and I’m trying to get it out.”

“A gopher? How did one of those get in the house?”

“Through a hole in the screen.”

“And you saw it come in?”

“Not exactly. I had it in my mouth and came through the door. I wanted to show Mom how handy I was.”

“You said there was a hole.”

“Not before I came through.”

“She’s going to love this.”

“Sush. I see him.”

 

 

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “PH”

~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

The coffee machine is slow to wake up today. A check of the vitals shows no problem, but the command buttons, once pushed, seem to have no effect on performance. Thinking back to the day when working a farm, the most reliable way to motivate a recalcitrant piece of machinery was a sharp physical rap with a heavy wrench.

In the kitchen, the meat mallet is the moral equivalent of a heavy wrench. One quick blow with the wooden mallet morphed the sleeping genius into a veritable fountain of hot, aromatic, nerve-quieting elixir. The triumph was mine.

After a few sips, the clock caught my attention. Turning it to August 12, 1877, setting the location for Menlo Park, New Jersey, and the time of two hours, we are off.

We arrive at the Menlo Park Laboratory of Thomas A. Edison. He has just put the finishing touches on his tin foil cylindrical phonograph. He waves us in and explains that he has figured out how to take a stylus and replicate the human voice on a rotating cylinder covered in tin foil.

He believes that this kind of machine will revolutionize the way offices will dictate letters. He envisions the worker putting the thoughts on the cylinder and then someone transcribing the words into letter form. Although my mouth was sealed, Edison will face a formidable challenge from the stenographers who will no doubt be put out of work with this scheme. Perhaps he is a little early with that phase of the office revolution and will stick to music instead. Speaking of music, the alarm sends us all to the couch, and luckily for her, no one landed on Twiggy.

My phone signals the arrival of a test. Yes, it is from Linda Hill and says, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: starts with or contains “ph.” Find a word with the letters “ph” in it and use it as your prompt. Have fun!

To see how other bloggers handle this prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/12/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-30-2023/

PH by John W. Howell © 2023

“Phenomenal.”

“What?”

“Your PH words.”

“Didn’t notice.”

“Oh sure. You just happened to select phonograph and 1877 by random.”

“Oh that. I read about Edison and wanted to go there.”

“I see. Means nothing that the prompt is words with ph in them.”

“Well maybe a little.”

“You are so busted.”

“I suppose. How about hitting the pub for a couple of Voo Doo Rangers?”

“You change the subject so nicely. About that couple of Voo Doo Rangers.”

“What?”

“If I can’t have all I want then no use going.”

“A figure of speech. A commom phrase.”

“Okay then. Theres our ride.”

“I’m afraid to look.”

“It is right up your alley. Look by the curb.”

Photo – Beverly Hills Car Club

“What is that?”

“A 1929 Ford Pheaton. Get it?”

“You are too good to me. Let’s go.”

 

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/Good News

~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments
White’s seahorse released in Australia – Supplied to ABC News by Dr. David Harasti.

Today’s Good News comes from the Good News Network. Here is the story in its entirety.

100 Tiny Endangered Seahorses Released into Sydney Harbor with High Hopes

By

Andy Corbley

Australia continues to rehabilitate its populations of White’s seahorse, an “Australian icon” and the only such creature on the nation’s endangered list.

In May, GNN reported that hundreds of White’s seahorses were released into the waters north of Newcastle into specially-made “hotels” as part of the largest release of captive-bred seahorses in history.

Now, as part of another reintroduction, a tide pool north of Sydney Harbor in a place called Clontarf will become the latest release site for these tiny sea creatures.

The seahorses were bred at Sea Life Aquarium in Sydney, and the Aquarium’s curator, Laura Simmons, says the release is just one of several already done and several more planned for 2024.

Also known as the New Holland seahorse, these small animals display a number of very interesting characteristics, including ovoviviparous reproduction, whereby the female creates the eggs and uses an ovipositor to place them in the male’s brood pouch, where they are fertilized and carried until birth.

They also display strong fidelity and seasonal monogamous mating. Their population numbers have been in decline for years.

“We really want to reverse that trend and get them re-established,” Simmons told ABC News AU. “They’re our seahorses, this is an Australian icon.”

Simmons said this release at Clontarf is the sixth release this year, following up on previous successes at Chowder Bay in Sydney Harbour, Botany Bay, and Little Manly Beach, totaling over 400 individual seahorses.

Swimmers at Clontarf may be able to see the seahorses clinging to the habitat net in the tidal pool but are encouraged not to disturb the animals.

The good news is these fragile animals are being given a chance for a comeback. Today’s JohnKu talks about comebacks. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Chance by John W. Howell © 2023

A fragile small horse,

Is being given a chance . . .

To make a comeback.