Sunday – Fifty-Two Views of the Gulf

May 24, 2015May 23, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

As you can see it is a little overcast today. The sky to the right looks like rain in the photo, but it is merely clouds. The guy in the foreground is a tourist who I had hoped would move, but I think he fell asleep there. He was fiddling with his camera and the mosquitos were bad enough I could not wait for him to finish. You can see the tides are not coming in as far as they were last week and the beach is clear of any seaweed. The seas are still rough so I would expect more seaweed later in the week. The family in the back got here early to protect a space. Also, we have severe thunderstorms forecasted which will cause additional water on the beach.The morning glories on this side of the dune are sleeping in today.

Last weeks photo shows the effects of the rains and heavy seas.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “KE”

May 23, 2015May 22, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 15 Comments

Stream of Consciousness Saturday and time for another prompt from the evil genius Linda Hill. Here prompt this week is ke. Yeah, you got that right ke, and it can be part of a word. What kind of monster person would have a prompt like that? If you want to know go here http://lindaghill.com/2015/05/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-2315/ and see for yourself. Here is my interpretation of ke.

“So I called the guy at KE and you know what he said?”

“You take me for a mind reader? No, I don’t know and what is KE anyway?”

“KE is Kendall Energy. I put in for a job there and thought it would be a piece of cake.”

“So what did he say for heaven’s sake?”

“Mr. Kendall himself told me to take a hike.”

“No kidding. I thought you were on the fast track. Why’d he put on the brake?”

“He said my resume was a fake.”

“How’d he come to that decision? Sounds like a muck rake.”

“I thought so too. Then he asked me what kind of metal used in a transformer bake.”

“What the hell is that? What does the bake make?”

“That’s the problem. I had no way to avoid the fact that I had no idea. It was like being in a wake.”

“Why didn’t you know? You are an electrical engineer? You even know the source of a lightning quake.”

“I guess my nerves made me shake, and I forgot.”

“Here take this sake and relax. We need to do something else.”

“I think that’s key. Thanks.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF

May 22, 2015May 18, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

Looks like Friday is here. At least the beginning of Friday is here. Only about eight more hours until the weekend. Today is the last Friday before the milestone marking the beginning of summer Memorial Day. This year Memorial Day is a little earlier than usual due to the last Monday of May being the 25th. I have always had a thought that Memorial Day is on the 30th (or thereabouts). So summer is a little early this year. Hey, I’m not going to complain after the winter that we all have had. Today’s JohnKu ( a term coined by Words4jp) is a celebration of the transition of the seasons.

Spring blowing salty,

A welcome change from winter. . .

Nothing like summer.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

May 20, 2015May 18, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

Wednesday story day again. Last week we left Charlotte and Bob as Charlotte got the news that Bob has a real book he wrote on a word processor. The only problem that caused Charlotte some concern was Bob has not written the first chapter. Charlotte went out for a glass of water and it now back. Let’s go back as well.

“Charlotte how was the water?”

“Just what I needed Bob. Now, what’s this about you not having written the first chapter of your book.”

“It’s easy really. I started the book at the second chapter.”

“I’m confused. How do you know it is the second chapter? Why can’t it be the first?”

“Oh, Miss Charlotte. Don’t you think the author knows if the second chapter is the second and not the first?”

“Well, I suppose─.”

“In fact there is no one more qualified to know a first chapter from a second than the person writing the book.”

“Okay, Bob. I’ll give it to you. Let’s just start with the second chapter.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why not?”

“You won’t understand what is going on without the first chapter.”

“Okay, let’s take a breath for a minute. Again I have to wonder why you didn’t write the first chapter first.”

“It was an experiment.”

“An experiment?”

“Yes. Everyone starts their book with the first chapter. I just wanted to see if I could complete the book without it.”

“So you have.”

“Yup and now it’s time to write the first chapter.”

“Dear God. How long will that take?”

“Not long. In fact, I’ve done it in my head.”

“Your head?”

“Let me write it down for you. Here this is the first chapter. Read it aloud.”

“Chapter one. He stepped off the ledge and could see the end was near.”

“Cool huh?”

“Oh, my gosh.”

Ten Things Not to do on Memorial Day Feat. Marie Ann Bailey

May 18, 2015May 17, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

Last Year Marie Ann Bailey and I did a simu-publish of what not to do on Memorial Day. I was constructing a new one for this year, and it occurred to me that last years was pretty suitable. So here is last year’s and I must say the advice seems pretty relevant. Thanks, Marie for helping with this one.

Top Ten Things Not To Do On Memorial Day

10 On Memorial Day, do not accept an invitation to your boss’ house for a picnic even if you think it will be good for your career. If you do, at best, you might just have an awful time. At worst, you might be pressed into service as one of the wait staff.

9 On Memorial Day, do not accept an invitation to your friend’s parents’ house on the lake. If you do, at best, you might be subjected to uncomfortable questions about why you don’t eat potato salad sitting in the sun for an hour. At worst, you won’t notice the potato salad and end up riding to the ER in an expensive ambulance.

8 On Memorial Day, do not try for the record number of drinks in an hour set by the Legend last year before he died. If you do, at best, you will feel awful the next day. At worst, you just might meet up with the Legend to compare notes.

7 On Memorial Day, do not show the crowd how many hot dogs or anything else you can consume in less than sixty seconds. If you do you, at best, you may get off lucky with just one. At worst, you may eat enough hot dogs causing you to go into a Nitrite and manufactured meat coma that takes days to wear off.

6 On Memorial Day, do not try to better any story being told by someone who has served in the military. If you do, at best, you might be telling the truth, but will look like a braggart. At worst, you might get in so deep that you will need to join up just to make the stories come true.

5 On Memorial Day, try to resist the beer bong challenge. If you don’t, at best, you will need to find a ride home. At worst, you will have lost all power to reason and the ability to talk which will make great discussion topics for the next day, not to mention the cell phone pictures on Instagram.

4 On Memorial Day, do not offer to light the fireworks display. If you do, at best, you will be contributing to an illegal act in most places. At worst, you may just set off the whole pile and be faced with trying to explain to Homeland Security exactly what your intentions were, hoping you can talk them out of a planned waterboard session.

3 On Memorial Day, do not decide to join in the volleyball game if you don’t know how to play. If you do, at best, you will slowly learn how to play and eventually stop making points for the other team. At worst, your team mates will decide you need elimination and will hire someone to take you for a long ride out-of-town.

2 On Memorial Day, do not wear any bathing attire that doesn’t fit or has a competitive racing design. If you do, at best, the rest of the party will try to ignore the sight. At worst, your picture and all the stuff that doesn’t fit in the suit will make the internet rounds on sites titled: “What not to wear in the pool this summer.”

1 On Memorial Day, do not think you need to entertain all your friends with stories of horrific behavior on Memorial Days past. If you do, at best, everyone will eventually walk away as they lose interest, and you’ll have a Golden Retriever as your audience. At worst, someone remembers your antics and is able to top your story with an even more embarrassing tale about you which you may or may not remember

Sunday – Fifty-Two Views of the Gulf

May 17, 2015May 16, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

This weeks picture was taken following a lot of rain. You can see the wet sand in front of the dunes and what looks like a little river approaching the cross over. The seas are still quite rough and one more morning-glory has decided to brave the wet weather. The sea weed that was in last week’s photo has all been washed into the dunes. The high tide actually came up to the dunes which seldom happens. If you look to the right and in front of the dune you can see some of the erosion.

Last week’s picture shows rainy conditions but not the results of ten inches of rain which we got after last week’s photo was taken.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Stick”

May 16, 2015May 15, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 18 Comments

Saturday Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “Stick.” The word can be used in any form or maybe all. Who knows? If you want to have this kind of frustration fun go to Linda Hill’s site and read all about it http://lindaghill.com/2015/05/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1615/ here is my interpretation. I hope you like it.

“I have to ask you why you are bent over like that?”

“I am looking for water.”

“For water? What is that you are holding/”

“It’s a divining rod.”

“Ha. It looks like a stick to me.”

“That’s because you stick to your usual practical comfort zone.”

“Comfort zone? At least I stick to the normal practices.”

“I don’t call your practices normal.”

“And you pointing a stick at the ground is normal?”

“Stand back. I hear something.”

“What do you hear?”

“The sound of money rumbling underground.”

“Money?”

“Yeah, water is money. Stick with me my friend and we will be rich.”

“Stick with you and get locked up.”

“You are like a stick in the eye.”

“Well, you can stick your stick if you get my drift.”

“Nice. Look out here comes the geyser.”

“Still waiting. Better stick to normal practice.”

Ichabod Brooks – New character from Charles Yallowitz – June 1st

May 15, 2015May 15, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 7 Comments

Coming on June 1st for 99 cents!

Ichabod Brooks & the City of Beasts (Cover by Nio Mendoza)

In a time of heroes, a man will take any job to provide for his family.

Ichabod Brooks has earned a reputation for taking the jobs most men and women fear to challenge. This reputation has brought him to the charred remains of a small village nestled within the hills and forest of Ralian. The ruins are a source of strange monsters that terrorize the countryside and repeatedly elude the local guards and hunters. The few brave souls who have entered the creatures’ lair have yet to come out alive or dead.

The chances of survival are slim, but that generous payment is too much for Ichabod to resist. After all, a man and his family have to eat.

Author Biography

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn’t working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. ‘Legends of Windemere’ is his first series, but it certainly won’t be his last.

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Thursday – A Little Personal – Noah on Speedial

May 14, 2015May 13, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

I have been discussing the fact that we have been getting a lot of rain lately. I thought I would put it into perspective with a couple of photos. On Monday night, our area received six inches of rain and wind gusts of thirty-five miles per hour. The net effect was a lot of flooded streets and flood warnings all night. Here is a photo showing how full the collection pond is behind our house.

That thing made out of concrete is the storm drain with the pond behind. The street is flooded. The next photo shows Wednesday morning’s result of three inches more.

That house on the right is ours and as you can see the water is getting serious. We are fortunate our builder put the house on a high mound of fill. The next photo gives you a bird’s eye view of the water level.

This is a photo of the backyard from the sundeck above. You can see the water making an incursion into the palm tree bed and the flooded street. We expect more rain and won’t be clear of the weather until Friday. We have also had a few tornado warnings as well.

“Hello. Is this Noah? Yeah, a question for you. Got any room on that Arc? Port side cabin preferred.”

Top Ten Things Not to do When It’s Your Birthday

May 11, 2015May 10, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

The inspiration for this is the fact that all of us have a day of birth even those of you from another planet. So I thought we could all use a little advice on that particular day.

Ten Things Not to do When It’s Your Birthday

10 When it’s your birthday, do not tell anyone what you want for a present. If you do, at best you won’t get what you asked. At worst, you will get all kinds of things that are sort of like what you wanted but not quite.

9 When it’s your birthday, do not tell anyone you are feeling older. If you do, at best a well-meaning someone will plop a post on Facebook asking everyone to cheer you up. At worst, you will get all those people who are older than you telling you things like “you only live once, enjoy,” and “When I was your age…”

8 When it’s your birthday, do not request a special dinner even if asked If you do, at best the dinner will not resemble what you thought you required. At worst, the dinner will be so complex and require so much prep that you will be forever in the debt of the preparer. (and reminded of same periodically)

7 When it is your birthday, do not let anyone at work know even if you are in a birthday club. If you do, at best all the cake and potluck will be made of everything forbidden on your restricted diet. At worst, since you have no idea which one of the dishes was prepared in the home of an Ebola sufferer, you will be playing potluck roulette with anything you try.

6 When it’s your birthday, do not accept an invitation to celebrate after work. If you do, at best you will only be slightly late to your surprise birthday party at home. At worst, you might forget all about a prior commitment and join in the rest of the work crew for way too many birthday shots that could ultimately end with a late night karaoke sing-off which you will win just prior to passing out in the restroom.

5 When it’s your birthday, do not join everyone and sing Happy Birthday to yourself. If you do, at best the assumption is you had too much punch. At worst, the party goers will come away with the feeling you could have had your own narcissistic party that would have been cheaper for them.

4 When it’s your birthday, try to look pleased with your in-law’s gift. If you don’t, at best you might hurt their feelings. At worst, you will be the center of a raging controversy as to what it takes to please you with no good result.

3 When it’s your birthday, do not tell the restaurant this information. If you do, at best someone will quietly bring a piece of cake and congratulations. At worst, the entire restaurant crew will gather at your table clapping and singing some rendition of Happy Birthday while delivering a cake with a sparkler that gets the attention of the whole room.

2 When it’s your birthday, do not stop at a store just to see what’s new. If you do, at best you will only look around and realize you don’t need anything. At worst, you will feel as if your birthday somehow suspends any restraint that you have for overspending. The presents you buy yourself will be way too expensive,

1 When it’s your birthday, do not take the occasion to over analyze the significance of the event. If you do, at best you may miss the fun of the day. At worst, you may be unkind to yourself and in the process discount much of your success.