Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #203 by Keith Channing

January 22, 2019January 21, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Captain Tom this is Houston.”

“Go ahead Houston.”

“Is this Captain Tom?”

“Excuse me but are you new to the team?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Do you know how many of us are here?”

“Where?”

“In outer space.”

“Well, I’m quite sure we are not alone if that’s what you mean.”

“Okay let me start over. You called for Captain Tom. I answered. You then asked if I were Captain Tom.”

“Yes so?”

“Who the heck do you think I am?”

“No need to be prickly. I was just following protocol.”

“I’m sitting in this cramped capsule which as far as I know is the only cramped capsule orbiting the Earth right now. You called me and then have the cheek to ask if I am Captain Tom.”

“I’m beginning to see your point. You are on a mission, and the only one on that mission, and I called you.”

“What does that tell you?”

“Since we are on the same frequency I would guess that you are Captain Tom.”

“So why did you ask? I know I’m making a mountain out of a hillock but with nothing else to do and it being so damn cold, I am curious.”

“That is an interesting saying you have there.”

“Which one.”

“Mountain out of a hillock.”

“Yeah, so?”

“The saying we have is “mountain out of a molehill.”‘

“For heaven’s sake. What’s the difference?”

“Also you mention the cold.”

“Yes, I did. It is freezing up here.”

“What have you done with Captain Tom?”

“Here we go again.”

“It would not be cold unless the integrity of the capsule has been compromised.”

“If that were to happen you would see it on the telemetry.”

“Unless someone knows how to intercept the signal. Now before I hit the abort button tell me what you did with Captain Tom.”

“I ate him.”

“What?”

“He was just too tempting. Like a sardine in a can. In case you wonder, he was delicious. Go ahead and abort. I’ll just be waiting up here for the next one. TTFN.”

“TTFN? Your call sign?”

“No. Ta Ta For Now. Zoraggeue out.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Publication of an American Novel in 1789

January 21, 2019January 20, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. Today is the 230th anniversary of the publication of the first American novel. Its title was “Power of Sympathy,” and it was written by William Hill Brown. If you were there when this event happened, there are some things you should not have done. In case you have a time machine and plan to go here is a list of the Top Ten Things Not to Do to keep you out of trouble.

10 If you are there when published, do not complain about the nine shilling price. If you do, at best you’ll come off like a cheap skate. At worst, the publisher will take your name and vow never to publish anything you write. (I guess you can take this guy off your query list, Gael. Of course, you never got a response to the ten you did send already.)

9 If you are there when published, do not try to take more than one bookmark being handed out by Tiny the WWF champ. If you do, at best Tiny will merely take the extra back, At worst, Tiny, who has just been expelled from empathy school, will assume you are challenging his authority, (Looks like it is time to head for the door, Gino)

8 If you are there when published, do not wear your I love New York t-shirt. If you do, at best no one will notice. At worst, since the book was published in Boston, you might have to deal with rabid Bostonians who hate New York for whatever reason. (Don’t try to write it off as loyal Red Sox fans, Griffith. Baseball is still not played. The first game was in 1846 fifty-seven years from now.)

7 If you were there when published, do not write a review before you have read the book. If you do, at best no one will read it. At worst, the author will have his second call upon you. (The subject at hand is a duel, Gabian. I hope you know your way around flintlock dueling pistols.)

6 If you were there when published, do not ask when the Kindle edition will be available. If you do, at best you’ll get puzzled looks. At worst, once you explain the Kindle, you’ll be spending some quality time in the stocks. (They don’t exactly believe in witches, Gadhi, but you are as close to one as they can imagine. Look forward to some moments of panic in the dunking chair. I would just tell them you are a witch.)

5 If you are there when published, do not say to the author that you are thinking of writing a book as well. If you do, at best he’ll just laugh. At worst, you’ll experience the weightlessness that comes from falling through a trap door leading to the swamp. ( Now you know why the author stood in that one location with his arm resting on a lever, Gaelan. Authors hate it when folks think writing a book is so damn easy.)

4 If you are there when published, do not ask for an author autograph on anything but the book. If you do, at best he might sign your paper with the name of his carriage driver. At worst, the people behind you who are holding a book will shame you into a purchase. (By shame we are talking about that musket in your face, Gairbhith. These people really love the author)

3 If you are there when published, do not ask the author if he has been thinking of getting a real job. If you do, at best you will be shown the door. At worst, you will have asked the question that the author’s spouse asked over breakfast this morning. (This seems to be a sore spot with the author, Galeun. Time to think of a graceful way to get out fast.)

2 If you are there when published, do not ask the author when his next book is coming out. If you do, at best the author has another book coming out. At worst, the author has a bad case of writer’s block and is near insanity with worry. (Yes he is holding the cleaver that used to be on the sideboard, Galton. Yes, he has a fiery look in his eye. Yes, he is coming for you.)

1 If you are there when published, do not suggest a plot that you believe the writer will want to write. If you do, at best you will get a kind smile. At worst, the author, having heard ten other plot ideas already today, will walk away. (I wouldn’t call it rude, Galyn. I would call it your life-saving technique.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Bollard People

January 20, 2019January 19, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

Last year I featured the bollard in Port Aransas being covered by crochet wraps. There were about thirty the previous year and more than one hundred and thirty this year. The creator of this display is Diana Vondra and a host of helpers. They are being called the “Bollard People for reasons you will see in a moment. There are some photos, and I could not put them all in this post. Also, the sun was at an Eastern angle so for you to see the faces I had to manipulate the photos a little.

Here’s one that looks like a superhero.

This is a view of the way they look when you drive up.

Another shot of a group of them.

Wise one.

Pink.

Looks like an ode to Saturday morning.

Mama in her curlers.

Delighted.

Dignified.

Lost.

Happy.

An author I’ll wager.

Hates to wear glasses.

“May I take your order?”

“Put all the money in this bag.”

Frosty’s youngster.

The sister.

Do Bee.

Ladybug.

Grandma.

Of course, they are from Minnesota.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Television”

January 19, 2019January 18, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is ‘television.” Linda Hil says we can write about our favorite programs of about the apparatus itself. If you would like to join in on this mind-bender visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 19th

“What is all this?”

“What does it look like?”

“Like someone put a bomb in the TV, and it went off.”

“I guess to the untrained eye it would look like a mess.”

“I know messes. Don’t tell me you are taking the TV apart?”

“I’m not taking it apart. I already took it apart.”

“Why in heaven’s name would you do that?”

“Didn’t you see that fuzzy picture last night?”

“Fuzzy picture?”

“Yeah during NCIS there was a blur through the wold show.”

“I have to say I didn’t notice it.”

“I don’t know how that’s possible. There were two Jethros. It even got worse towards the end.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t say anything.”

“I thought I said ‘Look at that picture.'”

“You said that when the good-looking wife of the murdered guy came on. I thought you were talking about her.”

“And you saw nothing unusual?”

“Nope. Now tell me how you are going to get all this back together again.”

“In the reverse order that I took it out.”

“Nice joke Mr. Wizzard. By the way, where did all those beer cans in recycling come from?

“What do you mean, ‘All those.”‘

“There are six cans in there.”

“I guess I drank them.”

“You guess?”

“Well, I sort of lost count.”

“You wonder why the picture was fuzzy huh?”

“Give me a hand here.”

“What can I do?”

“Lift the other side of the set and help me get it to the trash.”

“Learned anything?”

“Yeah. Number the beer cans.”

“What about the television.”

“We should read more.”

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy at Play

January 17, 2019January 16, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. Play with me.

Sure Little One. What do you want to play?

“I thought about ball, but then maybe tag would be fun.”

“How about flag football with my ears as the flags?”

“Oh, you silly. You know you don’t want to do that.”

“Then quit grabbing my ears.”

“Okay. How about I tag you on the chin?”

“I guess that would work okay.”

“Better yet how about ball after all?”

“Can I sit here while you run around with it?”

“You are kidding right?”

“Yes, potato, I’m kidding.”

“Okay. How about I give you a head start, and I’m it?”

“How about we go in and have a big drink?”

“You know, Lucy. That sounds like the best idea of all.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 202

January 15, 2019January 14, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Where are we going?”

“It is a surprise. Just dress warmly.”

“Come on. Tell me where we are going.”

“If I tell you, then it won’t be a surprise.”

“Where is it written that I need to be surprised.”

“I think it would be fun is all.”

“Give me a hint.”

“Okay. We are going to the beach.”

“The beach? Are you crazy? It’s got to be twenty degrees out there.”

“I know that’s the fun of it. Who goes to the beach in the winter?”

“That statement makes me think you haven’t thought this through.”

“First of all, there will be no crowds.”

“I’ll give you that.”

“Secondly there is something big there that I want you to see.”

“Like what?”

“Okay. Since you are so insistent. It’s a sand castle.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“No. I’m serious.”

“This is the biggest sand castle in the world. It’s a wonder.”

“Can I wait until spring?”

“It won’t be there in the spring.”

“You sure there will be no crowds?”

“I guarantee it.”

“Can we go inside.”

“Yup. There’s coffee too.”

“Sold.”

“You’ll love it.”

A Little Personal – Lucy and Twiggy Play with Bubbles

January 10, 2019January 9, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

“Hey, you guys. you want to play with the bubbles?”

“You kidding? Of course.”

“Get ready cause here they come.”

“Lucy, Lucy. That one’s mine.”

“I just got mine.”

“Oh, Look. Another one.”

“Get it Little One.”

“Oof. That one is high.”

“Nice jump, Lucy.”

“Lucy, mine is too high for me.”

“I have to get mine before it hits the fence.”

“Get it, Lucy.”

“Trying Little Suff. Trying.”

“Jeez, Lucy. Watch out.”

“”You got to get a jump on these bubbles, Twiggy.”

“Just missed them.”

“I know me too.”

“Look one is laying there.”

“I got it.”

“Come to me my bubble.”

“I’ve got some more over here.”

“That was really fun, Dad.”

“Yes, Boss, it was very much fun.”

“Okay Ladies. How about some dinner?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt

January 8, 2019January 7, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

Keith Channing is still away on holiday so I created another finger point prompt. This time I used Ian McEwan’s book Saturday. I opened it to page 165 and pointed at a sentence. The sentence reads, “Look,” he says. “It’s an orchid for your room.”

“So where are you from?”

“I live in Toledo, Ohio but am originally from North Dakota.”

“Wow. North Dakota can get cold, can’t it?”

“That is for sure. Sometimes it is twenty degrees below zero in the winter.”

“How did you find your way to Ohio?”

“I prefer to say I was pilfered from North Dakota.”

“That’s a strange word to use.”

“It is one of the words brought to my attention by my friend Marc. I use it because I was only a young boy when my parents moved to Ohio.”

“So here you are checking into a hotel in Florida.”

“I know. It is funny how life treats us, isn’t it?”

“Do you have any luggage?”

“I only have this urn and my valise.”

“An urn?”

“Yes. You see my parents asked me to take them to a warm spot after they passed. They are both with me here.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you. I don’t see it as a loss. I have the memories of them in my heart so I think they will be with me forever. I will be spreading them out in the warm water tomorrow.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“You have already done it.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“You have blessed me with your concern and that is the finest gift you could give.”

“I-I’m speechless.”

“Please believe me. Kindness and concern for others is a rare commodity today. You have a gift and I might even say you are blessed as well.

“I want you to have something. Look. It’s an orchid for your room.”

“How lovely. Thank you. Why the tears?”

“I’m not sure. Erm if you need anything just call the front desk.”

“I will. Thank you again.”

“Your room is down the hall.”

“We both know I’m not staying.”

“You’re a spirit aren’t you?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

“You have come for me, haven’t you?”

“I have. It’s time.”

“Should I be afraid?”

“Are you?”

“No.”

“There’s your answer. Take my hand. Walk with me.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at Henry VIII’s Marriage to Anne of Cleves in 1540

January 7, 2019January 6, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

This post is a continuation of Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. Since Sunday was the four hundred and seventy-ninth anniversary of King Henry VIII’s marriage to Anne of Cleves, I thought if you had an invitation to the wedding I would give you some pointers on how to stay out of trouble. Of course, the marriage only lasted six months but still a beautiful event.

10 If you attend the wedding, do not show up late. If you do, at best no one will notice especially the groom. At worst Henry will spot you coming in late, and by the look on his face, he isn’t happy. (Now you have gone and done it, Gunnolf. Henry was looking for someone to practice his wife removal system, and it seems like you will be the one.)

9 If you attend the wedding, do not try to outdo Tiny the WWF champ on his toast to the bride and groom. If you do, at best Tiny will have had enough champagne and not be offended. At worst, Tiny will have had too much champagne and having just graduated from a Dale Carnegie course on speaking take offense to your action. (Don’t worry, Gustaof. That hammer lock doesn’t usually result in a broken bone. OMG, I could hear that snap from here. My bad.)

8 If you attend the wedding, do not try to bring an old wedding gift of yours to regift. If you do, at best your card will get lost. At worst, the king will recognize the present as the one he gave you at your wedding. (Remember those lands and the castle Hank awarded you last year, Guyapi? They now belong to your idiot brother-in-law.)

7 If you attend the wedding, do not try to make a funny speech after you have had a lot to drink. If you do, at best someone will take you out before any real damage. At worst, you rambled on until you hit one of the kings sensitive issues. (I guess you don’t remember too much about your speech, Gwern. I would begin to make up a perfect apology for that unfunny joke about the three previous Mrs. Henry the Eights.)

6 If you attend the wedding, do not try to upstage the bride and groom with outrageous clothes and behavior. If you do, at best you will look like a fool. At worst, Henry will take note of your action and at the faire, he will pair you with Ivan the Brutal in the jousting match. (Ivan sure has a fast horse and large lance, Gwyddawg. I think you might want to consider just falling off your horse before he makes contact. So you are accused of cowardice. Sure beats a classy funeral.)

5 If you attend the wedding, do not ask for seconds at dinner. If you do, at best no one will know. At worst, the chef will ask the king if it is okay to give you another helping. (They say Henry is not moved to anger too quickly, but you have tipped him over, Gustav. It seems he is not pleased to go over his wedding budget by one dinner.)

4 If you attend the wedding, do not insist on dancing with the bride. If you do, at best there will be too many ahead of you. At worst, you get your chance and suddenly remember you don’t know how to dance. (This is somewhat awkward, Gene. You can’t just stand there holding the bride’s hand. Oops too late. Henry thinks you are hitting on his new wife. Can you say sayonara?)

3 If you attend the wedding, do not compliment the king on his choice of wives. If you do, at best he will ignore you. At worst, he will think you are mocking him. (It seems Henry did not want to marry Anne because he thought her too plain. The marriage was annulled six months later but since you are still in the dungeon, Garret, you won’t know. Seems you hit a sore spot.)

2 If you attend the wedding, do not think you can bring guests of your own. If you do, at best they’ll get lost in the crowd. At worst, you will be dismayed to see all your guests fawning over the king. (The king wants to have a word with you, Gace. I think I would just jump the moat and make your getaway.)

1 If you attend the wedding, do not believe the big table filled with gifts is there as favors for the guests. If you do, at best someone will set you straight. At worst, you will be halfway to the door with a gift tucked under your arm when you run into the king. (He wonders where you are going with that gift, Guilio. I think I would tell him you were just returning it to the gift table and then do it. A fast exit is indicated here as well.)

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Sap/Sep/Sip/Sop/Sup

January 5, 2019January 4, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

Another Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is a doozy. It is sap/sep/sip/sop/sup. Linda Hill says we can use all of them or just a few or find a word with them included. Well, I choose all just cause I can. If you would like to get these feelings of independence, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.