Tag: thriller fiction

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

Hump day

 

It is Wednesday Story day again and last week we left Lucas having an interesting discussion with Alice Weston one of the members of the Property Owners Association. I don’t know about you but I got some distinctive cougar vibes from Alice. Well, Lucas promised to get the form back to Place which he did that afternoon. I think we can join Lucas at the Widow Murphy’s house where he has started to paint.
“Hey there, boy.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I talked to Alice Weston a few minutes ago and she and the property owner board members are meeting this morning.”
“Thank you, sir. She told me that yesterday.”
“Well if she told you that why are you painting. I don’t think this project has been approved.”
“Well sir, Mrs. Weston told me she didn’t think it would be a problem.’
“I know son, but we have rules. You can’t start on the house until the approval is official. Where is Mrs. Murphy?”
“Oh, she went to the store a few minutes ago.”
“Funny there is only one main street in this neighborhood and I didn’t pass her.”
“Well, maybe it was longer. I may have lost track of time.”
“You’re not a drinker are you son?”
“No, sir. When I’m busy I just lose track.”
“Yeah, I’m the same way. My name’s Gibson and I’m the sheriff here.”
“Oh, Mr. Gibson. So nice to meet you.”
“I also live down the street so I keep an eye on the rules. You understand?”
“I sure do sir. I certainly don’t want to break any.”
“Well then, I would get off that ladder and wait for your approval. When’s Mrs. Murphy getting back?”
“I couldn’t say, sir. It’s not my nature to pry. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell me.”
“Okay, son. Tell her I was by and would like to talk to her. Nothing urgent. It’ about the police fundraiser’s all.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll give her the message.”
“No more painting until Mrs. Weston comes by with the approval.”
“Yes, sir.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #104 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

Here is what is going on in Keith’s own words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – but pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo

Kreative Kue #104

Customer Care by John W. Howell ©2016

“Hello, Triple-A? Yes, I have a problem. I’m broken down in front of Nehru park for children. I think I need a tow truck.”

“My car? No, it’s not a car. It’s a Vespa. A Vespa. V-E-S-P-A.”

“Sure like a motor scooter. Anyway, I can’t get it to start.”

“What do you mean how do I know it won’t start?. It won’t start.”

“Process? I put the key in the slot that is for the key. I turn the key. I touch the starter button and nothing happens.”

“I don’t know any other process. I need you to come and take it to a repair place.”

“How heavy is it? Now how would I know how heavy?”

“Pick it up? If I could pick it up, I could carry it to a repair place myself.”

“I’m not rude. I think you are silly.”

“Yes, Let me talk to a supervisor.”

“Hello, I need a tow to a repair place.”

“No, it’s not a car.”

“V-E-S-P-A.”

“That is what the other person asked. I don’t know how heavy. Please don’t ask me to pick it up.”

“I think you are rude. I hope I will be getting a survey because you folks are really going to get—”

“Hello. Hello?”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at Holiday Parties

~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

Holiday party

 

The inspiration for this list has been an adult life-long fascination with human interactions. There is no time like the holidays to go out and get an actual feeling of how people interrelate. I may have published some of these points under a different context, but it still bears repeating some of the advice again. I cannot swear I haven’t done any of these but don’t think so. Also a message to the Yale School of Psychology. This is all in fun and should not be used as part of the curriculum dealing with Holiday stress. With that disclaimer here we go.

The Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Holiday Party by John W. Howell © 2016

10 At a holiday party, do not assume because the drinks are free you can have all you want. If you do, at best you will find the next morning that the drinks were not free after all. At worst, you might wake up in the guest room bathtub and have no idea how you got there. (Your host was very pleased when you locked the door to the only bathroom in the house. Too bad the pounding on the door didn’t give you a hint, Bunky.)

9 At a holiday party, do not think an informal atmosphere will lend itself to getting closer to your boss. If you do, At best, you will only say one stupid thing. At worst, you wake up at 3:00 am realizing you told your boss exactly what you thought of the latest project. (Now you also remember the hurt look on the boss’ face since it was a pet project. Maybe you can say you had a brain aneurysm huh Ferd?)

8 At a holiday party, do not double dip from the crab spread. If you do, at best no one will notice, and you’ll be safe. At worst, unfortunately, you chose the moment when the boss was doing a video panorama and are now a piece of history. (The playback at the office caused a noticeable groan from your co-workers and several grabbed their zinc inhaler. Why you had to sneeze right after the double dip is anybody’s guess.)

7 At a holiday party, do not think of arriving without a host gift. If you do, at best you might be able to sneak in unnoticed. At worst, the host had requested in the invitation to bring an unwrapped toy for a needy child. (That will teach you to ignore letters. You never sent an RSVP either did you, Buster?)

6 At a holiday party, do not think everyone wants to sing carols. If you do, at best you may be doing a solo. At worst, you will be so annoying that the host will ask his cousin Tiny with WWF champ to see you to the door. (Tiny’s method of seeing people to the door is very similar to his winning body slam in the ring. Don’t worry nothing’s broken. It’s all fake remember?)

5 At a holiday party, do not try to get away with bringing a  cheap bottle of wine as a gift. If you do, at best no one will see you set it down.At worst, your host will thank you and suggest that you open it immediately to share with the guests. (Two-buck Chuck is so well-known Oscar that your face is now the color of the wine.)

4 At a holiday party, do not attempt to have controversial discussions with each conversation. If you do, at best you’ll end up talking to the dog. At worst, you’ll spark a debate that will ultimately engulf the entire room and eventually lead to the arrival of a SWAT team. (Well you did learn that politics is a hot subject didn’t you, Bucky?)

3 At a holiday party, do not think you have to entertain everyone with your jokes. If you do, at best you’ll find out quickly you are no Henny Youngman. At worst, most in attendance will enquire of the host about that strange person who is not funny. (The beautiful thing is your boss’ boss took down your name which should lead to some good stuff. Maybe at the next company huh, Milton?)

2 At a holiday party, do not suggest that everyone go out into the snow to see how beautiful the lights look. If you do, at best no one will follow you. At worst, your host will open the front door and promptly slam and lock it after you are gone. (It seemed like a good idea at the time didn’t it, Roscoe?. Now you need to call and get your shoes back.)

1 At a holiday party, do not ignore someone who asks for your keys. If you do, at best you will be breaking the law. At worst, you could be responsible for hurting yourself and more importantly an innocent victim. (Obviously, we all should remember not to drink and drive this holiday season.)

Views of the Neighborhood

~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

Yesterday the town held its annual Golf Cart Holiday parade to benefit the Port Aransas EMS Toy Roundup. I tried to get to the front of the line to snap photos as the parade wound its way through town. Unfortunately,  I couldn’t get there so had to be satisfied with taking some shots of some of the entries after the finish. The idea for the parade is to dress up your golf cart (yes there is judging) and join in the fun. An unwrapped toy is the entry fee.

These carts do not look like your typical golf course variety. The suspension is built up and tires supersized so that maneuvering in the sand is not a problem.

Here are some of the entries.

The first is a riff on a boat

Golf cart parade

This one looks like it was painted for the holiday

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This one came with an elf

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Tons of presents ( and back side of the elf)

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Looks like this one hit a doll. You can see it on the windshield. (another Elf and Santa helper)

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Here is a cart that has all-weather side curtains. Must be from Minnesota.

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Here is a cute riff on Hula skirt. Cute little reindeer too!

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Now this Land Rover was a nice addition. Came all the way from Australia (kidding)

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The sign reads “Random Acts of Friends” which pretty well sums up the spirit of Port Aransas

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Now that is a strange golf cart. Yes, the police took part as well as the firefighters.

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I hope you enjoyed the tour.

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Bear/Bare

~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

SOCS

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “bear/bare. Linda Hill says we can use them any way we want. One or both. Wow, the possibilities are endless. Oh yes. In case you want to join this happy crew here is the link to Linda’s blog. Go and read for yourself how easy it is to join in and begin to lose your mind like the rest of us.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 10/16

Bear/Bare by John W. Howell © 2016

“So which is it?”

“How do I know? Do I look like a constitutional scholar?”

“Now that you mention it. No.”

“Thanks. How do you get me into these goofy things anyway?”

“Hey, I’m just asking the questions. You’re the one wanting to answer them.”

“I suppose you have a point. What was the question again?”

“The constitution gives the population the right to do things with their arms. I’m wondering what people are allowed to do?”

“Oh, now I get it. You’ve wandered near that Hill person and she has given you some words. So what are the words?”

“You don’t have to be so cold. That’s not why I was asking.’

“What are the words.’

“Bear/Bare.”

“Like bunny/bunny?”

“No one is B-E-A-R and the other is B-A-R-E.”

“Okay, I get it. You want to make something up about the constitution. The right to bear arms.”

“Well, sorta. I also wanted to be humorous.”

“You humorous. That’s a laugh.”

“See it’s working.”

“Okay, what kind of humorous?”

“I wanted to say something about if people don’t want to wear long sleeve shirts they don’t have to according to the constitution.”

“The right to  bare arms. Right?”

“Yeah, Right. How about it. Funny?”

“No. I think funnier would be a question around growing hair on our arms.”

“I don’t get it.”

“No surprise there. Here let me point it out. The right to B-E-A-R arms. Gggggrrrrrrowwwelllll.”

“Not funny.”

“No not funny like your face, but funny.”

Friday JohnKU – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Christmas Tree

Photo of our Christmas tree this year

Looks like we are going to make the week. I have spent some time doing my Holiday shopping via the keyboard. I don’t know why I have resisted this method of shopping. It is so easy to search and click. Also, many of the retailers are offering free shipping. For an old island dweller, whose closest gift store is a forty mile round trip this is a real boon to spending. Oh yeah, the downside of convenience is the escalation of the outlay.  I guess I will worry about that in January. I also have a granddaughter in Germany this year and sending a gift is not very practical. A nice Amazon gift card delivered into her e-mail box solves the time and distance problem. Ahhhh modern technology. Today’s JohnKu celebrates the good side.

Technology by John W. Howell © 2016

A keyboard is all,

That’s needed to shop the world. . .

Of course, money too.

His revenge sale

Photo by Gwen Plano

Oh yes, I almost forgot. His Revenge is on sale for $0.99 in the US and £0.99 in the UK. and featured on E-Reader News today

US Amazon

UK Amazon  

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

Hump Day

 

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we accompanied a young man into the paint store to find out he is ordering paint for the Widow Murphy and she has not seen the color. The paint store employee was rightfully concerned, but the young man insisted on the unique color. Before leaving the store the employee asked if the color had been approved by the Property Owners Association. The young man indicated that it would be his next stop.
“Yes, can I help you?“
“I am painting the Widow Murphy’s house, and I need to get the color approved by the POA.”
“Oh most certainly. I can help you with that?”
“Here are the colors, Autumn Harvest and Phantom White. Those paint chips should give you an idea of the color.”
“Oh, my. These are beautiful colors. I’m surprised the Widow chose them. Her house is kind of musty gray. This Autumn Harvest will wake the place up nicely.”
“I agree. So we are approved?”
“Well, we need to have the homeowner fill out this form and sign it. When we get the form back, it will take about five days or so for the committee to give approval.”
“Whoa. That long? I had hoped to be able to finish the job in a week.”
“I’m sorry, but our rules are well-known to the owners. Didn’t Mrs. Murphy explain them to you?”
“No ma’am. She just told me to get the paint and to do the job.”
“It must have slipped her mind. Well here is what we can do. If you get Mrs. Murphy to fill out the form today, I think I can get the committee together tomorrow morning and get a decision by noon. I don’t believe this color will be a problem.”
“I’m not sure the widow is home, but I will do my best.”
“Oh, she never goes anywhere. I’m sure she’s there. Do you want me to call her?”
“No. I mean no thank you. I’ll just take the form and get her to fill it out. Thank you so much.”
“You are welcome, young man. Oh, I might mention there are a few houses in our neighborhood that need painting. If you do a good job for the widow, I’m sure there will be plenty more to keep you busy. Come back and see me when you’re finished and I can make some introductions for you.”
“That is very kind of you. I hope I can repay the kindness.”
“Don’t worry. A strong young man like yourself is always in demand. You take care now and stay in touch.”
“I’ll be back later with the form.”
“I’ll look forward to it. I’m sorry, but I didn’t get your name.”
“Lucas. Lucas Saveride.”
“Well, Lucas Saveride it is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Alice. Alice Weston.”
“Nice meeting you too, Mrs. Weston.”
“Call me Alice, Lucas. Just call me Alice you cute thing you.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible Kreative Kue #103 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

This is a photo prompt by Keith Channing. He will explain what is going on. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #103

The Dog Statue by John W. Howell © 2016

“You say that thing is a statue?”

“Yup. That’s what my grandpappy told me.”

“It looks so real. In fact, I don’t trust it.”

“I don’t either.”

“Oh come on. It’s been standing like that since we got here. You two are just being chicken.”

“You think? Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“We are chickens you, idiot.”

“Never mind that. There is no reason to be afraid of a statue.”

“How are you so sure it is a statue anyway. You said something about your grandpappy?”

“Yeah, my grandpappy told me about the statue when I was just a chick.”

“Where’s your grandpappy now?”

“Oh, he passed away.”

“Passed away? How? Old age?”

“No one in the family knows for sure. It’s a mystery.”

“Tell us about it.”

“The only thing the family knows is grandpappy said he was going out for a stroll and that’s the last anyone heard of him.”

“A stroll? Where?”

“He said he was going for a stroll in the dog statue garden.”

“And that doesn’t tell you something?”

“Like what?”

“Like the last thing to see your grandpappy alive was a dog statue.”

“I never thought of that. Too bad that statue can’t tell us what happened.”

“Excuse me but I gotta go.”

“Me too.”

“Aw don’t go. Come back you guys.”

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Holiday Shopping

~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

Holiday shopping

 

The inspiration for this list came from many visits to the retail world. Not that I have done all these things, but have seen them in real life.

Ten Things Not to Do While Holiday Shopping

10 If you are shopping for the holidays, do not even think of stealing a parking place. If you do, at best you might beat out an old lady. At worst, you may come back to a car that is only six inches tall. (Tiny the WWF champ took exception to you cutting him off to get his space)

9 If you are shopping for the holidays, do not help yourself from the Salvation Army pot. If you do, at best you’ll get a lump of coal as a present. At worse, you might be face to face with a furious Santa. (That gun was a surprise huh Ferd? Why do you think they use the term, “Army?”)

8 If you are shopping for the holidays, do not hog the gift wrap counter. If you do, at best the line behind you is short and filled with pacifists. At worst, you might be facing an unruly mob being lead by some jerk who keeps yelling, “Get a rope.”(Trading your gifts for freedom was an excellent idea, Rube)

7 If you are shopping for the holidays, do not ask passers-by their opinion on how something would look on your spouse.  If you do, at best their answers will be suspect. At worse, you might encounter a fragile soul who just left a personnel review at work and the biggest criticism was their inability to make a decision. (You sure got to witness what the term “Going Postal” means didn’t you Buford?)

6 If you are shopping for the holidays, do not wait until the last-minute. If you do, at best you will have to settle for less than what you wanted to give. At worst, your state f panic will escalate to the point that you are throwing money at anything that looks or smells expensive. (The Bengal tiger seemed like the perfect gift yesterday. Has anyone seen grandma?)

5 If you are shopping for the holidays, do not ask a stranger to take your family holiday card photo in front of the gigantic mall tree. If you do, at best you might have a close up of the stranger’s finger. At worst, the stranger might decide to give a camera just like yours as a gift. (Funny how that person disappeared into the crowd hey Bunkie?)

4 If you are holiday shopping, do not wear a Santa hat and that ugly holiday sweater. If you do, at best most will think you’ve escaped from the home. At worst, the local news affiliate will feature you on the nightly news during their “Hard Luck Holiday Stories” segment. (Although all the packages and free food that showed up at your door is a bonus)

3 If you are holiday shopping, do not think a long stop at the local bar is the place to start. If you do, at best you’ll skip the shopping till tomorrow. At worse, you will buy almost everything you see. (The only thing that stopped you was your credit card company insisting that the BMW dealer confiscate and cut up your card)

2 If you are holiday shopping, do not hire a personal shopper to do the work for you. If you do, at best your instructions will be followed. At worst, your personal shopper disagrees with your choices and take matters into their own hands. (Just how is little Jimmy going to be able to play that video game when he is only six months old?)

1 If you are holiday shopping, do not try to accompany your spouse on the same trip. If you do, at best they will always know where you’ve been. At worst, they know where you’ve been and do not approve, and you will be back to square one. (You did save two dollars on gas though tight wad)