Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Yes

April 29, 2023April 28, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. (bonus points cha-ching) There’s a shadow hanging over me, and now I long for yesterday. Yes, the shadow is that statue of Roger Rabbit that is sitting on the driveway out front. A quick beating of the coffee machine produced the 10 ounces of java bean squeezen’s that will help me figure out what to do with it. The thing is in full color, and I’m sure the neighbors think I ordered it from Amazon.

A quick sip and starting the security shutdown process gave me an idea. First is the process. The claymore mines disarmed. The tower machine guns are placed on standby. The boiling oil vat is secured. The moat net retracted. The concertina wire rolled back. The trebuchet secured. The gate lifted. The locks and deadbolts reset. The front door opened.

My idea is to run an ad in the community newspaper with a “free to a good home message.” Surely someone will want a lovely likeness of Roger Rabbit for the yard or family room. Having just finished the call, a shadow falls over my phone. A look to the right causes me to cry out like a baby. Standing there is the most attractive rabbit ever witnessed by a man. “So sorry to frighten you.” The words came out dripping with honey. “My name is Jessica.”

“P-pleased to meet you, Jessica.” My face felt hot.”Is there anything you need?”

Jessica laughed and tossed her hair provocatively, letting me know my question was the dumbest thing she had heard all day. She told me she was looking for Roger Rabbit and wondered where I got the statue. My explanation that it just showed up was met with a raised eyebrow. She handed me a business card and a note. She explained that should Roger be seen to please call her. With assurances that she would be the first to know, she smiled and walked away.

I opened the note and saw that it was from Linda Hill. While reading, my thoughts went to the fact that Linda must know everyone on the planet. The note read.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “yes.” Find a word that starts with “yes” or use the word “yes” as is. Bonus points if you start your post with the word you choose. Enjoy!

To try these prompts, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Also, there will be others there who have written something too. Here’s the link https://lindaghill.com/2023/04/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-29-2023/

“So your word was Yesterday?”

“Yup.”

“Pretty common.”

“Well, I wanted to get the song in.”

“Yup, did that for sure.”

“What about this Jessica Rabbit?”

“Did you see her?”

“No, I was watching TV. What did she look like?”

“The most amazing rabbit I have ever seen.”

“So what was she doing?”

“Looking for Roger Rabbit.”

“Speaking of that, did you find a new home for that statue?”

“Only got one call.”

“And?”

“Guy wanted 100 bucks to haul it off.”

“Might be a cheap way to get rid of it.”

“It’s a work of art. It will stay there if necessary.”

“Okay then. What’s your plan for the rest of the day?”

“I thought I would go to see some art.”

“At a museum?”

“Drinkable art.”

“I get it. Texting Uber now.”

“One thing.”

“What’s that?”

“No dump trucks.”

“I didn’t know the guy hauled manure for a living. I was trying to save a buck.”

“A nice safe car, please.”

“You got it.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Banker

April 25, 2023April 24, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 69 Comments

So here’s how it goes. I open a book to a random page and then, without looking, point to the page. The word or words closest to the pointing finger then becomes the prompt. Today the book is The Last Drive (Of course). The page is 86, and the word is ‘banker.’

“What did he say?”

“Who?”

“The banker, for heaven’s sake.”

“Oh, he was very nice.”

“So it was a ‘no.'”

“I didn’t say that. I said he was nice.”

“Which means you didn’t have anything else to say.”

“Yeah, he turned us down.”

“So what are we going to do now?”

“Go to a different bank, I suppose.”

“This was the last one in town.”

“I don’t get it. We have the invention of the decade and can’t get any backers.”

“Maybe they don’t understand how big this could be.”

“That could be, but how do we convince them?”

“I don’t know. Maybe if we used our invention in something other than our demonstration.”

“What can be more impressive than burning down a building?”

“That’s just it. Maybe we are coming at this the wrong way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just how many folks want to burn down a building?”

“I see what you mean. Well, at least it is good for campfires and stuff.”

“Who will pay ten cents a gallon when kindling is free.”

“I’m stymied. What can we build that will use gasoline as a fuel?”

“I think we need to study this problem. Let’s go to the library.”

“Want to take the Stanley Steamer.”

“We have enough wood for the boiler.”

“Yeah, I just bought some.”

“Good, let’s go.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Scene”

April 22, 2023April 21, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 95 Comments

After hanging up from the oxymoronic customer care representative of the coffee machine company, it is apparent the next scene would be me screaming for help. It seems the machine needs a reboot which will take two hours to completely reset. Two painful hours before the first cup of the day. Thoughts turn to grinding beans in the blender and boiling water. Maybe even chewing a few while the clock moves as if it were invented by a tortoise.

As luck would have it, The Producer plans for such a disasters and produces a mug of hot steaming ersatz Columbian from a jar. Any port in the storm is my motto, and after a sip, the worry over caffeine availability is dispelled. A mental note on the purchase of cold brew is recorded to avoid this scene in the future.

Now that the head is clear, the subject of the monolith on the porch must be resolved. The security shutdown process is begun. The claymore mines disarmed. The tower machine guns are placed on standby. The boiling oil vat is secured. The moat net retracted. The concertina wire rolled back. The trebuchet secured. The gate lifted. The locks and deadbolts reset. The front door opened.

The tall box is still there. Walking around, it gives no clue as to its contents. An ear placed on it reveals no sound. Turning toward the porch once again, the sides of the box suddenly drop to unveil a statue in the likeness of Roger Rabbit. He is standing with a defiant expression and his finger pointing toward my front door.

Moving closer, a small sign hangs on the finger that says, “Pull me.” Having had a bunch of Wiseacre friends, I know that direction will never be followed. Further observation of the stature reveals little tiny words etched in Roger’s overalls. The words became clear with the help of a magnifier (which was in my robe pocket). They were from Linda Hill and stated, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “scene.” Use it any way you like. Have fun!

If you want to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. You will also see how others handled the prompt. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/04/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-22-2023/

“So, where did the statue come from?”

“I guess Linda Hill.”

“There has to be a story there.”

“Well, since there has been an arrival of a statute of a major star on the scene, I hope so.”

“That was a funny movie.”

“It was made in 1988. Thirty-five years ago.”

“Wow, that is hard to believe.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“The graphics were terrific.”

“Imagine if they made it now.”

“Would be even better.”

“I’m wondering if the jokes would still be okay.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t recall if any were offensive.”

“Yeah, I don’t know either.”

“One thing’s sure.”

“What’s that?”

“They didn’t have VooDoo Ranger back then.”

“I wondered how long this scene would go before you brought up VooDoo Ranger.”

“My guess thirty seconds.”

“Call Uber.”

“Already ordered. There he is.”

“That’s a dump truck.”

“Discounted fare.”

“Oh.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Invisable

April 18, 2023April 17, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

The prompt is found by opening a book to a random page and, without looking, point to the page. The word or words closest to the pointing finger is the prompt. Today, I opened The Last Drive to page 205, and when I opened my eyes, the word invisible was nearest my finger.

This may appear to be an implausible story made up in the mind of someone who clearly needs professional help. Let me unequivocally state that everything that is said here is the truth. In fact, I’m so grateful that the staff allowed you to interview me. It’s no secret that my being here is a total miscarriage of justice. When your story is published, all of America will see I have been wrongly accused. What’s that? Start at the beginning?

You are aware that I am the foremost biological researcher in academia today. However, you may not be aware that I discovered a compound that, when ingested, brings about a state of invisibility in organic material. I can assure you that my experiments on plants and animals proved to all who would read my findings that it was now possible for complete stealth. Think what this would mean to an army of totally invisible warriors. They would be unstoppable.

Of course, my compound could also be used for ill-gotten gains in the wrong hands. Think of a burglar being able to walk freely undectected into a home. Likewise, a bank robber could enter a bank vault and help himself. This is why the formula must be protected with the utmost security.

I hope your story will include warnings to authorities to make sure protection is paramount. As far as the unfortunate subjects who succumbed to the experiments, they should be memorialized. I can give you their names; they should be treated as heroes in the cause. It did take some time to work out the safety profile. I deeply regret their sacrifice. But wait, we have just begun. Where are you going?

* * *

“Well, did you get the story you were looking for?”

“He believes he did a good thing and thinks he’s discovered a way to make people invisible.”

“That’s why he is in here. So you’re convinced he’s not a political prisoner?”

“Not only that, but I think he is certainly a mental case.”

“So, your story?”

“There is no story. He’s a serial killer who poisoned many people, and that’s that. Will he ever be cured?”

“Hard to say. There are days he thinks he is invisible too.”

“That must be hard.”

“No, he is well-behaved when he thinks no one can see him. Come with me. I’ll escort you to the main gate.”

Tuesday – Finger Point Prompt – “Was He Young or Old?”

April 4, 2023April 3, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

It works this way. I open a book at random and point to the page. The word or words closest to my finger becomes the prompt. Today I opened The Last Drive randomly to page 49. My finger was closest to the word ‘was.’ Since it was part of a quote, I decided to use the whole sentence.

“How do I know?”

“Let’s not make this more difficult.”

“I don’t know anything.”

“Look, you were the only one there when the store was held up. Surely you can give me that simple description.”

“Sorry, but I didn’t get your name.”

“Detective Simpson.”

“Okay, detective. Have you ever looked down the barrel of a 357 magnum?”

“So that was the kind of gun he was using?”

“The point is, sir, I’m not even sure it was a he let alone old or young.”

“Yeah can be pretty scary. Was the face covered?”

“All I saw was the sight on the front of that gun, and I emptied the register and got on the floor like he said.”

“So it was a male.”

“Now that I think about it, the voice sounded like a male.”

“Young voice or old voice?”

“Youngish, I guess.”

“About your age, do you think?”

“I suppose.”

“Was he a friend of yours?”

“What makes you ask that?”

“The security company just sent me the video feed and you two look pretty friendly.”

“Vido feed? I thought the system was down.”

“Your boss wanted you to think that. He’s suspected you of petty theft for a while. So now it looks like grand larceny. Who is your accomplice?”

“You have the video. You find him.”

“Won’t be hard.”

“Why’s that.”

“Looks like he dropped his driver’s license in all the excitement. According to his address you and he are roommates.”

“I want a lawyer.”

“I think you’re going to need one.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Antic

April 1, 2023March 31, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

Reaching for the steaming cup of heaven’s gift for a no-morning person, the thought raced through my mind. What antic will those Warner Brother look-alikes have on tap today? The answer came swiftly after the first sip. A voice so loud the vibrations of my cup threatened a tsunami that would ruin both my morning and the living room carpet. “I say there, boy. I say hey, come out here. Yes, you boy. I say, I’m talking to you” It was clear Foghorn Leghorn was in the tent. Taking what was left of my coffee to the tent’s darkness, the tense music caused me to stop. In the center ring, a spotlight was focused on Foghorn, slowly inserting himself into the muzzle of a giant cannon.

Phil Harris was exhorting the crowd to cheer him on. The Tasmanian Devil, Beaky Buzzard, Yosemite Sam, Sylvester, Henery Hawk, Claude Cat, Arnold the Pit Bull, Hector the Bulldog, Baba Looey, Charles the Dog, and Lola Bunny were all dressed as clowns and holding a substantial net downrange of the cannon.

Phil finally got to the point of saying, “Ready, aim ……….fire.” With that, a loud explosion and shower of sparks followed the form of Longhorn as he rose out of the muzzle and straight up to the tent’s peak. NewtonNewton’sf gravity could not be denied, and Fognorn slowly arched over and began an ever-increasing speed of descent. “I say, boy. I say, y’all on the net. I say, look smart now ’cause here I come.”

Foghorn hit the net with such force that he created a hole that sucked the rest of the clowns into its depths. Foghorn managed to pull himself and the others out of the hole. “I say, boy” I’m happy for the soft Earth and sawdust ring.” He walks over and hands me an envelope before taking a large bow acknowledging the cheering crowd.

Of course, the message was from Linda Hill, and it read. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “antic.” Use it as a word or find a word that contains it. Bonus points if you do both. Enjoy!

If you want to ‘enjoy,’ visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/03/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-1-2023/

“So where does that leave us?”

“What do you mean?”

“Was that the finale?”

“We haven’t had an antic from Wile E. Coyote.”

“That’s about the only one. So next week, then?

“We never know.”

“Oh, come on. You write this stuff you must know.”

“Panster remember?”

“So you don’t know until you start?”

“You got it.”

“Do you know how you will wrap up our discussion right now?”

“Nope. I wait for you to say something about beer, then go from there.”

“What if I don’t say anything about beer?”

“You just did. How about a pub trip?”

“I should have seen that antic coming.”

“Nice use of the prompt. Get Uber rolling. I’ve worked up a thirst.”

“I’m usually the one in a hurry.”

“Yeah, and I’m the one usually buying.”

Uh oh.”

“Yup. Role reversal.”

“You can do that?”

“My circus, my monkey.”

“Bully.”

“Trust me. Two VooDoo Ranger Imperials and you won’t care.”

“Here’s the driver. Let’s go.”

Tuesday – Finger Point Prompt – Wandering

March 28, 2023March 27, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

The method used is to open a book to a random page and point to a page without looking. Today’s finger-point prompt was pulled from The Last Drive on page 107. The word my finger points to is ‘wandering.’ I hope you enjoy it. (by the way, excuse the fuzzy focus on the word. The camera intended to make sure my hand was in the foreground.

“Excuse me, but you look tired.”

“You have no idea.”

“Are you in trouble?”

“No, I’ve just been wandering these halls.”

“‘Wandering these halls.’ What on Earth for?”

“I’ve been told this building has an exclusive bar.”

“Well, this is a hotel, so your information is correct. It is not on this floor, though.”

“OMG. I don’t know how I got lost. What floor is it on?

“It’s one floor beneath you. It’s the lobby floor.”

“Is it far?”

“Heavens no. Here let me help you to the elevator.”

“Elevator? What’s that?”

“It is used to travel between floors.”

“I’ve never ridden in one.”

“You mean you used the stairs?”

“I suppose.”

“Well. Come with me. Here this is the elevator. Just get on and punch the button marked L.”

“Could you help me? I don’t see very well.”

“Certainly. I’ll come with you.”

“You are very kind.”

“Here we are. The lobby. The bar is right over there.”

“Would it be too much trouble to take me there? I’m so tired from walking.”

“Yes, hold my arm, and I’ll take you.”

“Ever so kind.”

“Here we are. Isn’t it a magnificent bar?”

“Oh, but it is. Where’s the bartender?”

“Here, I’ll call him. Oh, barkeep?”

“Yes, sir.”

This guest wants something. Go ahead, sir.”

“Where’s the bartender.”

“I’m right here, sir.”

“I know I can see you. I just need you to answer my question. You see, my jaws aren’t as strong as they used to be, so I will need some easier wood to chew.”

“You’re a termite.”

“Correct.”

“The old joke. The termite walks into a bar and asks, “Where’s the bar tender.”

“Yup. That’s the situation.”

“Never thought I would live to see it happen.”

“So?”

“I’d try next to the window. The sun keeps hitting the bar there. I’m sure it is more tender.”

“Much obliged. See you later.”

“Yeah, sure. Look forward to it. Hey, Charlie, where did that guy come from anyway.”

“Crawled out of the woodwork, I suppose. No clue”

“I think the clientele is going downhill.”

“At least he’s not a spidey.”

“Yeah, there’s that.”

Finger Point Prompt – Big Disaster

March 21, 2023March 20, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

Keith Channing is still off, so today’s prompt was pulled from The Last Drive. The idea is to open a book to a random spot and point. The words closest to the pointing finger become the prompt. The random page today is 129, and the words are “big disaster.”

“Oh no.”

“What’s the problem?”

“They both accepted my invitation.”

“Both who?”

“Morey Amsterdam and Jerry Lewis.”

“Huh. How could they accept? They have both passed.”

“I know that. These are guys that impersonate them.”

“You invited them to what?”

“I’m having a party for my mom, and she loved these guys.”

“Why did you invite both.”

“In case one couldn’t do it. Now it’s a big disaster.”

“You’ll have to help me since I bearly remember them. What made these guys your mom’s favorites?

“She thought they were so funny. She would watch them on TV every week.”

“How about you?”

“I was too young to remember. I do have a couple of lines from their acts, though.”

“Okay, let’s hear them.”

“Morey used to play the viola, and he had a song with a funny title.”

“Which was?”

“Mrs. Moore started to snore and blew the covers onto the floor.”

“Uh-huh. How about Jerry?”

“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’”

“Hum. So what are you going to do?”

“I can’t have both.”

“Just tell one that you already booked the other.”

“They work for charity so one would lose out.”

“Then let ’em both come.”

“Might be overkill but I’m sure mom will like them.”

“Who is coming to the party?”

“Besides mom?”

“Uh yeah.”

“Everybody. Uncles, aunts, cousins.”

“The whole circus?”

“None of the animals though.”

“That’s a relief. I think Morey and Jerry are going to have their hands full.”

“I’ll give them a big tip.”

“I wonder if they ever worked under the big top?”

“Always a first time.”

“What’s the party for?”

“Mom has decided to retire from the trapeze act.”

“Bout time. The flying grannie bit was getting old.”

“Don’t tell her that.”

“Don’t worry.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Tape”

March 18, 2023March 17, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 95 Comments

For the second week in a row, the coffee appears without drama from the AI drama queen. The cup to the lips and a long slow sip is interrupted by the sounds of a calliope followed by the amplified voice of Phil Harris. “Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages. Welcome to the Warner Brothers Looniest Show on Earth.”

A quick run to the back door confirms the big top is up and packed with people. “And now I turn your attention to the center ring where, for your entertainment, the most recognized animal trainer in the world. The trainer of trainers. The honorable Elmer Fudd puts the ferocious beasts through their paces.” Slipping into the tent during the applause, taking in the scene is overwhelming. A white-hot spotlight converges on the likeness of Elmer Fudd decked out in high boots, jodhpurs, and a pith helmet. He is snapping a whip, and the so-called ferocious beasts are cowering on their perches. Claude Cat, Arnold the Pit Bull, Hector the Bulldog, Baba Looey, Charles the Dog, Lola Bunny, and Toro the Bull look like they would rather be anywhere else.

To make matters worse, the calliope music is obviously on tape, and Phil Harris is nowhere in sight. Elmer coaches each to perform. Claud gives a half-hearted roar. Arnold barks at the audience. Hector and Baba Looey chase each other, Charles and Lola do a leapfrog routine, and Elmer shoots his pistol when Toro takes a run at his backside. The audience loves it. Elmer grabs a chair to force toro back on his perch.

Underneath the chair is an envelope held by tape. Elmer rips it off, opens the envelope, and reads the contents over the sound system. He announces it is a message from Linda Hill. The message reverberates around the arena.”Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘tape.’ Use it as a noun or a verb. Use it any way you like. Enjoy!” The crowd goes nuts, and Elmer takes a bow. If you would like to enjoy go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2023/03/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-18-2023/

“Calliope on tape?”

“Well, there is a matter of the prompt.”

“Yeah, but that seems like cheating.”

“I didn’t see you in there helping.”

“Hey. I didn’t create this whole Saturday fantasy gig. You did.”

“You are right about that.”

“I wish I had that Fudd performance on tape.”

“On tape? You crazy? You could just use your iPhone.”

“It’s an expression. I didn’t really mean tape. I meant a recording.”

“Shows your age.”

“I guess. You know what else shows my age?”

“Let me guess. Time in a bar.”

“Shows I’m at least 21.”

“Times three.”

“Aw, come on.”

“I’m buying.”

“Make it times four. Hitting the uber app.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt- “This Ain’t No Game, Lady.”

March 14, 2023March 13, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Keith Channing will be taking some time off, so I will again feature a finger-point prompt. The way it works is I open a book to a random page and then, without looking, point to the page. The word or phrase closest to my pointing finger is it.

Today I opened the sequel to Eternal Road, The Last Drive, and my finger was closest to the phrase “This Ain’t No Game Lady” on page 151. So that is the prompt today. I hope you like the story.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Can you tell me the way to San Jose?”

“Huh?”

“I got lost on the LA freeway.”

“How did you find me?”

“Good question. There was a bunch of traffic slamming on their brakes, and then the next thing I knew, I’m sitting in your gas station.”

“Why do you need to go to San Jose?”

“I have lots of friends there. Can you help me?”

“Well, the first thing you must understand is this is Ames, Iowa.”

“I really did take a detour then. How far to San Jose then?”

“Let me put San Jose, California, in my phone, and I’ll tell you.”

“Phone? What do you mean, phone?”

“This iPhone here will lay out a map and give the distance.”

“Let me see that.”

“Sure, look over my shoulder. See here. It says San Jose is 1,863 miles from here.”

“I’ve never seen a phone like that before.”

“Wait a minute. A young woman like you must have had five of em by now.”

“I’m serious.”

“That car of yours is brand new, isn’t it?”

“Yes. My daddy bought it for graduation. What does that have to do with anything?”

“That there is a Pontiac GTO convertible.”

“Yes, it is.”

“With a 6.4L 389 cubic inch V8 and M-20 4 speed manual transmission with the Hurst shifter.”

“Well, it is a standard transmission. I don’t know about the rest.”

“What year is it?”

“The car?”

“No, it’s a 1965. The year today?”

“1965. August 10th, 1965.”

“What if I told you it is August 10th, 2023.”

“What kind of game are you playing?”

This ain’t no game, lady. I think you are in serious trouble.”

“Trouble? What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t seem odd to you that you were in Los Angles, and all of a sudden, you show up in Ames 58 years later?”

“I guess to you, it might seem odd. But, to me, it is part of the job.”

“Job? What job?”

“You want to drive my car?”

“What’s going on here?”

“I don’t want to frighten you, but you need to come with me.”

“With you? Where?”

“I knew these disguises wouldn’t work. But no, the boss said it would be easier on the travelers. Look, my last name is Reaper. Some call me Grim, but I prefer Gerri.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Never joke. Do you want to drive or walk? Like you said, ‘This ain’t no game.’ Here take the keys. We’re late.”