Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Antic

April 1, 2023March 31, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 67 Comments

Reaching for the steaming cup of heaven’s gift for a no-morning person, the thought raced through my mind. What antic will those Warner Brother look-alikes have on tap today? The answer came swiftly after the first sip. A voice so loud the vibrations of my cup threatened a tsunami that would ruin both my morning and the living room carpet. “I say there, boy. I say hey, come out here. Yes, you boy. I say, I’m talking to you” It was clear Foghorn Leghorn was in the tent. Taking what was left of my coffee to the tent’s darkness, the tense music caused me to stop. In the center ring, a spotlight was focused on Foghorn, slowly inserting himself into the muzzle of a giant cannon.

Phil Harris was exhorting the crowd to cheer him on. The Tasmanian Devil, Beaky Buzzard, Yosemite Sam, Sylvester, Henery Hawk, Claude Cat, Arnold the Pit Bull, Hector the Bulldog, Baba Looey, Charles the Dog, and Lola Bunny were all dressed as clowns and holding a substantial net downrange of the cannon.

Phil finally got to the point of saying, “Ready, aim ……….fire.” With that, a loud explosion and shower of sparks followed the form of Longhorn as he rose out of the muzzle and straight up to the tent’s peak. NewtonNewton’sf gravity could not be denied, and Fognorn slowly arched over and began an ever-increasing speed of descent. “I say, boy. I say, y’all on the net. I say, look smart now ’cause here I come.”

Foghorn hit the net with such force that he created a hole that sucked the rest of the clowns into its depths. Foghorn managed to pull himself and the others out of the hole. “I say, boy” I’m happy for the soft Earth and sawdust ring.” He walks over and hands me an envelope before taking a large bow acknowledging the cheering crowd.

Of course, the message was from Linda Hill, and it read. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “antic.” Use it as a word or find a word that contains it. Bonus points if you do both. Enjoy!

If you want to ‘enjoy,’ visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/03/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-1-2023/

“So where does that leave us?”

“What do you mean?”

“Was that the finale?”

“We haven’t had an antic from Wile E. Coyote.”

“That’s about the only one. So next week, then?

“We never know.”

“Oh, come on. You write this stuff you must know.”

“Panster remember?”

“So you don’t know until you start?”

“You got it.”

“Do you know how you will wrap up our discussion right now?”

“Nope. I wait for you to say something about beer, then go from there.”

“What if I don’t say anything about beer?”

“You just did. How about a pub trip?”

“I should have seen that antic coming.”

“Nice use of the prompt. Get Uber rolling. I’ve worked up a thirst.”

“I’m usually the one in a hurry.”

“Yeah, and I’m the one usually buying.”

Uh oh.”

“Yup. Role reversal.”

“You can do that?”

“My circus, my monkey.”

“Bully.”

“Trust me. Two VooDoo Ranger Imperials and you won’t care.”

“Here’s the driver. Let’s go.”

Tuesday – Finger Point Prompt – Wandering

March 28, 2023March 27, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

The method used is to open a book to a random page and point to a page without looking. Today’s finger-point prompt was pulled from The Last Drive on page 107. The word my finger points to is ‘wandering.’ I hope you enjoy it. (by the way, excuse the fuzzy focus on the word. The camera intended to make sure my hand was in the foreground.

“Excuse me, but you look tired.”

“You have no idea.”

“Are you in trouble?”

“No, I’ve just been wandering these halls.”

“‘Wandering these halls.’ What on Earth for?”

“I’ve been told this building has an exclusive bar.”

“Well, this is a hotel, so your information is correct. It is not on this floor, though.”

“OMG. I don’t know how I got lost. What floor is it on?

“It’s one floor beneath you. It’s the lobby floor.”

“Is it far?”

“Heavens no. Here let me help you to the elevator.”

“Elevator? What’s that?”

“It is used to travel between floors.”

“I’ve never ridden in one.”

“You mean you used the stairs?”

“I suppose.”

“Well. Come with me. Here this is the elevator. Just get on and punch the button marked L.”

“Could you help me? I don’t see very well.”

“Certainly. I’ll come with you.”

“You are very kind.”

“Here we are. The lobby. The bar is right over there.”

“Would it be too much trouble to take me there? I’m so tired from walking.”

“Yes, hold my arm, and I’ll take you.”

“Ever so kind.”

“Here we are. Isn’t it a magnificent bar?”

“Oh, but it is. Where’s the bartender?”

“Here, I’ll call him. Oh, barkeep?”

“Yes, sir.”

This guest wants something. Go ahead, sir.”

“Where’s the bartender.”

“I’m right here, sir.”

“I know I can see you. I just need you to answer my question. You see, my jaws aren’t as strong as they used to be, so I will need some easier wood to chew.”

“You’re a termite.”

“Correct.”

“The old joke. The termite walks into a bar and asks, “Where’s the bar tender.”

“Yup. That’s the situation.”

“Never thought I would live to see it happen.”

“So?”

“I’d try next to the window. The sun keeps hitting the bar there. I’m sure it is more tender.”

“Much obliged. See you later.”

“Yeah, sure. Look forward to it. Hey, Charlie, where did that guy come from anyway.”

“Crawled out of the woodwork, I suppose. No clue”

“I think the clientele is going downhill.”

“At least he’s not a spidey.”

“Yeah, there’s that.”

Finger Point Prompt – Big Disaster

March 21, 2023March 20, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

Keith Channing is still off, so today’s prompt was pulled from The Last Drive. The idea is to open a book to a random spot and point. The words closest to the pointing finger become the prompt. The random page today is 129, and the words are “big disaster.”

“Oh no.”

“What’s the problem?”

“They both accepted my invitation.”

“Both who?”

“Morey Amsterdam and Jerry Lewis.”

“Huh. How could they accept? They have both passed.”

“I know that. These are guys that impersonate them.”

“You invited them to what?”

“I’m having a party for my mom, and she loved these guys.”

“Why did you invite both.”

“In case one couldn’t do it. Now it’s a big disaster.”

“You’ll have to help me since I bearly remember them. What made these guys your mom’s favorites?

“She thought they were so funny. She would watch them on TV every week.”

“How about you?”

“I was too young to remember. I do have a couple of lines from their acts, though.”

“Okay, let’s hear them.”

“Morey used to play the viola, and he had a song with a funny title.”

“Which was?”

“Mrs. Moore started to snore and blew the covers onto the floor.”

“Uh-huh. How about Jerry?”

“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’”

“Hum. So what are you going to do?”

“I can’t have both.”

“Just tell one that you already booked the other.”

“They work for charity so one would lose out.”

“Then let ’em both come.”

“Might be overkill but I’m sure mom will like them.”

“Who is coming to the party?”

“Besides mom?”

“Uh yeah.”

“Everybody. Uncles, aunts, cousins.”

“The whole circus?”

“None of the animals though.”

“That’s a relief. I think Morey and Jerry are going to have their hands full.”

“I’ll give them a big tip.”

“I wonder if they ever worked under the big top?”

“Always a first time.”

“What’s the party for?”

“Mom has decided to retire from the trapeze act.”

“Bout time. The flying grannie bit was getting old.”

“Don’t tell her that.”

“Don’t worry.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Tape”

March 18, 2023March 17, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 95 Comments

For the second week in a row, the coffee appears without drama from the AI drama queen. The cup to the lips and a long slow sip is interrupted by the sounds of a calliope followed by the amplified voice of Phil Harris. “Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages. Welcome to the Warner Brothers Looniest Show on Earth.”

A quick run to the back door confirms the big top is up and packed with people. “And now I turn your attention to the center ring where, for your entertainment, the most recognized animal trainer in the world. The trainer of trainers. The honorable Elmer Fudd puts the ferocious beasts through their paces.” Slipping into the tent during the applause, taking in the scene is overwhelming. A white-hot spotlight converges on the likeness of Elmer Fudd decked out in high boots, jodhpurs, and a pith helmet. He is snapping a whip, and the so-called ferocious beasts are cowering on their perches. Claude Cat, Arnold the Pit Bull, Hector the Bulldog, Baba Looey, Charles the Dog, Lola Bunny, and Toro the Bull look like they would rather be anywhere else.

To make matters worse, the calliope music is obviously on tape, and Phil Harris is nowhere in sight. Elmer coaches each to perform. Claud gives a half-hearted roar. Arnold barks at the audience. Hector and Baba Looey chase each other, Charles and Lola do a leapfrog routine, and Elmer shoots his pistol when Toro takes a run at his backside. The audience loves it. Elmer grabs a chair to force toro back on his perch.

Underneath the chair is an envelope held by tape. Elmer rips it off, opens the envelope, and reads the contents over the sound system. He announces it is a message from Linda Hill. The message reverberates around the arena.”Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘tape.’ Use it as a noun or a verb. Use it any way you like. Enjoy!” The crowd goes nuts, and Elmer takes a bow. If you would like to enjoy go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2023/03/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-18-2023/

“Calliope on tape?”

“Well, there is a matter of the prompt.”

“Yeah, but that seems like cheating.”

“I didn’t see you in there helping.”

“Hey. I didn’t create this whole Saturday fantasy gig. You did.”

“You are right about that.”

“I wish I had that Fudd performance on tape.”

“On tape? You crazy? You could just use your iPhone.”

“It’s an expression. I didn’t really mean tape. I meant a recording.”

“Shows your age.”

“I guess. You know what else shows my age?”

“Let me guess. Time in a bar.”

“Shows I’m at least 21.”

“Times three.”

“Aw, come on.”

“I’m buying.”

“Make it times four. Hitting the uber app.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt- “This Ain’t No Game, Lady.”

March 14, 2023March 13, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Keith Channing will be taking some time off, so I will again feature a finger-point prompt. The way it works is I open a book to a random page and then, without looking, point to the page. The word or phrase closest to my pointing finger is it.

Today I opened the sequel to Eternal Road, The Last Drive, and my finger was closest to the phrase “This Ain’t No Game Lady” on page 151. So that is the prompt today. I hope you like the story.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Can you tell me the way to San Jose?”

“Huh?”

“I got lost on the LA freeway.”

“How did you find me?”

“Good question. There was a bunch of traffic slamming on their brakes, and then the next thing I knew, I’m sitting in your gas station.”

“Why do you need to go to San Jose?”

“I have lots of friends there. Can you help me?”

“Well, the first thing you must understand is this is Ames, Iowa.”

“I really did take a detour then. How far to San Jose then?”

“Let me put San Jose, California, in my phone, and I’ll tell you.”

“Phone? What do you mean, phone?”

“This iPhone here will lay out a map and give the distance.”

“Let me see that.”

“Sure, look over my shoulder. See here. It says San Jose is 1,863 miles from here.”

“I’ve never seen a phone like that before.”

“Wait a minute. A young woman like you must have had five of em by now.”

“I’m serious.”

“That car of yours is brand new, isn’t it?”

“Yes. My daddy bought it for graduation. What does that have to do with anything?”

“That there is a Pontiac GTO convertible.”

“Yes, it is.”

“With a 6.4L 389 cubic inch V8 and M-20 4 speed manual transmission with the Hurst shifter.”

“Well, it is a standard transmission. I don’t know about the rest.”

“What year is it?”

“The car?”

“No, it’s a 1965. The year today?”

“1965. August 10th, 1965.”

“What if I told you it is August 10th, 2023.”

“What kind of game are you playing?”

This ain’t no game, lady. I think you are in serious trouble.”

“Trouble? What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t seem odd to you that you were in Los Angles, and all of a sudden, you show up in Ames 58 years later?”

“I guess to you, it might seem odd. But, to me, it is part of the job.”

“Job? What job?”

“You want to drive my car?”

“What’s going on here?”

“I don’t want to frighten you, but you need to come with me.”

“With you? Where?”

“I knew these disguises wouldn’t work. But no, the boss said it would be easier on the travelers. Look, my last name is Reaper. Some call me Grim, but I prefer Gerri.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Never joke. Do you want to drive or walk? Like you said, ‘This ain’t no game.’ Here take the keys. We’re late.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – mat/met/mitt/mot/mutt.”

March 11, 2023March 10, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

My cup runneth over mainly because an accidental hit of the brew button brought three instead of two 5 oz servings. Luckily the machine has a drain, or the tsunami of caffeine would be on the floor. So the absorbent mat that is in reserve will not be necessary. Sipping the life fluid reminds me of last week’s arrival of too many Warner Brothers look-alikes for comfort.

The grey rabbit said there was going to be a circus. An inquiry to the city assured me that no permit was necessary if it was held on my property, and no entrance fees were charged. We met in person so that the possibility of talking them into a restraining order could have happened. The mutt of a compliance officer refused to prevent what will no doubt become mayhem.

In deep thought, the thirty-story falling piano crash of the doorbell jerked me back to reality. It also set off a round of barking, cracking every mirror in the house. A toss of my old baseball mitt causes Lucy and Twiggy to think a sheep is loose in the place and brings the silence of chasing the lambs.

“Who is there,” is the inquiry through the Ring doorbell.”

“C’est Moi. Phiil Harris.”

“Baloo?”

“Bon mot. The very same.”

“What do you want?”

“Your friends Dan and Tom said you needed a ringmaster for the circus. Also, I have some mail for you.”

“Hold on.” The security shutdown procedure takes a few minutes, and the door is thrown open. Standing there is Phil Harris. “I thought you were dead.”

“This is fiction, right? Here take this and point me to my dressing room .”

Phil shoves an envelope into my hand and then pushes by me. I open the envelope, and it is a message from Linda Hill. It says, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “mat/met/mitt/mot/mutt.” Choose one or use them all, any way you’d like, in your post. Have fun! Also, there is a note from Tom and Dan. Good luck is all it says.

To have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2023/03/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-11-2023/

“Not bad.”

“What?”

“You got all the words of the prompt in that intro.”

“Thanks.”

“One problem, though.”

“What’s that.”

“Your readers want a circus with all those characters. So you’re on the mat to deliver.”

“The objective will be met.”

“A fine mot ‘objective'”

“What are you, a linguist?”

“Mitt skämt.”

“Huh?”

“Swedish for ‘my joke.'”

“How about Swedish, for you are a mutt?”

“The same, ‘mutt.’ Du är en mutt.”

“Well, we’ve pretty much killed this one.”

“We all want a circus.”

“Fine. In the meantime, how about a pub visit.”

“Hello, Uber. Already place the order, and Helmut is on his way.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Prize

February 25, 2023February 24, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

Saturday is supposed to be stress-free. This thought comes to mind while waiting for the Frankensteinish AI in the coffee machine to quit doing quantum physics formulas and get to work on my cup of joe. In the meantime, the nagging feeling of unfinished business in the form of two white cartoonish gloved holding a sign last week keeps tweaking my gut.

Finally, the machine begins its process, and before my countdown reaches one hundred, the soul-restoring elixir sputters from the twin spouts. Once done and a sip has calmed my caffeine-addicted nerve endings, a quick look at the Ring doorbell image on my phone confirms the gloves are still there, holding yet another sign. Since the lettering is somewhat weird, the front door must be opened to read it.

Disconnecting the security system involves turning off the hot oil, disengaging the automatic tower machine guns, lifting the subnet from the moat, locking the Trecuchet, securing the ballista, coiling the concertina wire, removing the claymore mines, Lifting the iron gate, throwing back the bolts, and unlocking ten locks. Finally, the door is ready to be opened. “Who is there?” is the message sent through the Ring doorbell.

“Eh. What’s up, doc?”

Throwing open the door and “I’m face to face with Bugs Bunny. “I’m your prize,” he shouts.

“Prize, what prize?”

“What you get for knowing Linda Hill. Here read this sign, doc. I’ll be going now.” Bugs hands me the sign and disappears around the side of the house. Up close, the words on the sign are easily read. It says, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “prize.” Use it as a noun or a verb; use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

If you want to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2023/02/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-25-2023/https://lindaghill.com/2023/02/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-25-2023/

“Lame.”

“What?”

“Prize, Bugs Bunny, the whole thing.”

“I thought it was clever.”

“You know everyone was waiting for Mickey Mouse.”

“I don’t know that.”

“You don’t read your mail?”

“Of course, I read my mail but didn’t see much about Mickey Mouse.”

“I hoped it would be Mickey Mouse.”

“Why?”

“A change of pace. You are always doing Warner Brothers stuff.”

“They are prize characters.”

“Yeah, go ahead and sneak a prompt word in. But, of course, you take the prize for that kind of thing.”

“You are a little cranky today.”

“I think I’m a quart low on my precious fuel.”

“Are you paid by New Belgium Brewing?”

“No, why?”

“This obsession with VooDoo Ranger is why.”

“Well, it’s my prize for going back and forth with you.”

“And I always pay.”

“But I call Uber. That has to count for something.”

“You take the prize. I give up. Call Uber.”

“You won’t be sorry.”

“I doubt that to be true.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #394 by Keith Channing

February 21, 2023February 20, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.

Visit Keith at his place if you want to read the stories or participate. Here is the link to his post. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/02/20/kreative-kue-394/

The Photo.

“What do you think, Number Two?”

“Looks deserted, Captain.”

“My thought exactly. I’m a little worried about that rock there.”

“How so, Captain?”

“When I was a kid, I saw a scary movie where a giant gorilla lived on such a rock.”

“You think this might be the rock?”

“No, of course not. There is something creepy about it, though. Is this island on our map?”

“No, sir. It is uncharted.”

“Hmmm. Have you ever seen a movie where an uncharted island was not filled with horrors?”

“Not much for movies, sir. If you’re saying this island may be dangerous, I will agree.”

“You will? Why?”

“For one thing, there are no birds flying around. I have never stood off from an island that didn’t have birds.”

“I don’t see any signs of inhabitants either.”

“That may be a good thing, but no birds? Bad JuJu.”

“We should send a landing party to check it out.”

“Suit yourself, Captain, but as for me, I would rather we lift anchor and leave this island in the uncharted category.”

“Tell the boatswain’s mate to assemble a party to reconnoiter the island.”

“Aye, aye, sir.”

“Make sure they are well armed.”

* * *

“Captain. We got a garbled message from the landing party’s radio.”

“It’s been twenty-four hours, Number Two. It’s about time. What’s the message?”

“It was hard to understand, but sparks figured it out.”

“Enough suspense. What did the message say?”

“Send more long pigs.”

“Long pigs? What the hell are long pigs?”

“We think they mean us, Sir.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 393a by Keith Channing

February 14, 2023February 13, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

In Keith’s words.

If you would like to participate go to Keith’s post at this link https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/02/13/kreative-kue-393a/

The photo.

“Hey, kids, look what’s on the screen.”

“What is that, daddy?”

“It’s the Taj Mahal. That’s what.”

“Wow, it looks like it’s real.”

“That’s cause it’s 3D.”

“How come we don’t have any glasses. The last time we saw 3D, we had to wear glasses.”

“I think they have made some big improvements. Since then.”

“Oh.”

“So finish your burgers, and we will go to Tomorrow Land.”

“Tomorrow Land? What’s that, dad?”

“Oh, you’ll love it. It is in the future. There are flying cars and everything.”

“Now, George. Let’s let them finish their lunch before they get worked up.”

“You are so right, dear. But, man, isn’t this trip great?”

“It is, sweetheart. Of a lifetime.”

“I wish we could stay forever.”

“Well, we have another two days.”

“That’s true. It will be fun, and then we have to head home.”

“This is the best Valentine’s Day ever.”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Just one thing.”

“What’s that, dearest?”

“I don’t remember locking the front door.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Heart.”

February 11, 2023February 10, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

Ah, Saturday. The day that requires no intelligence or energy. The day when the mind and body take some time to themselves. The day where the agenda is free style and time a seemingly squanderable resource. It is also the day when the AI in charge of coffee has an iron grip on my heart. Begging and pleading only slows the process of turning roasted South American bush fruit into the hot, frothy, aromatic liquid that quells my addition.

It is usually a test of wills on who will crack first. The machine or me. Returning the cursed thing to the store is an idle threat. The machine knows giving up the soothing mainline caffeine delivery system would be harder than losing a limb. Pounding and cursing have little effect. There was a time when the machine shut down entirely and accused me of being technically insensitive after such an episode. Three days of shlepping to Starbucks cured me of any future violent overtures.

So how long will the wait be? There is a stirring, and low rumble followed by three sputters indicating the life-restoring fuel is about to be dispensed into my cup. Be still my beating heart; here it comes. Ten ounces of glory are delivered. Trembling hands caress and move the cup to the lips. One sip and, like Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein, seeing the monster rise from the table, scream, “It’s alive.”

Linda Hill’s message hits my computer screen at my moment of ecstasy. It says Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “heart.” Use it any way you like. Have fun!

If you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here’s the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2023/02/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-11-2023/

“What the heck was that all about?”

“We’ve been off for a month, and I thought I would reintroduce the espresso maker and its odd behavior.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“How’s that?”

“I thought you were having a brain bleed or something. Going on about stupid coffee.”

“Excuse me.”

“What?”

“Coffee is what starts my day.”

“Well, I think you might be a little obsessive over it.”

“Oh, not like you, of course.”